So this morning I woke up and felt like I got hit by a truck–thankful for 10 uninterrupted hours of sleep but feeling like I’d like about 100 more. But after a relatively pain-free morning of diaper, dressing, breakfast, and negotiating which trucks to take with us, Dutch and I arrived and church, he was settled into the nursery, and I was surrounded by God’s people, singing His praises…and times of refreshing came from the presence of the Lord.
How I can’t even convey how God’s presence refreshes my soul! Surrounded by the saints, singing God’s truths at the top of my lungs, everything fell into place. His Word is trustworthy, His promises true, my hope secure. He is never changing, always life-giving, perfect in every way. How great is the goodness of God! I have nothing else to say but that the gospel gives life. The truth of who God is and all that He has done for us is more than enough to strengthen, encourage, sustain, give life. He is so beautiful, captivating, worthy. He is everything.
Everything falls into place in the presence of the Lord. In His presence truly is fullness of joy and at His right hand pleasures forevermore. God is so good, friends. Get with Him and experience rest and perfect peace today. Amen.
Some interesting statistics. This Christmas the average American spends $1,000 in Christmas gifts (per individual not necessarily per family), and $500 in holiday travel. $1,500 per person this Christmas alone, and that doesn’t count the inflatable snowmen in the yard, lighted Santa Clauss and reindeer paraphernalia on the roof, and the electricity bill for the Christmas lights. Oh boy do we know how to spend.
What’s more shocking is this. The US consumes 40% of the world’s resources. 40%. We only make up 5% of the population. So we could say that on average we consume eight times more stuff than the rest of the world. (And we weigh about eight times as much too but that’s another post.) Of that 40% that we consume, 70% of that is spend between Thanksgiving and Christmas. 70%! Ugh. ‘Tis the Season.
The answer, as I’ve said before in other posts on money, is not only to spend less (although that’d be a good place to start!), but to spend wisely. Most of us think that if we only had a little bit more money, then we’d be set. But the truth is, we don’t need more money, we need wisdom to manage the money that we have. 10% of the book of Proverbs is devoted to issues surrounding money. About 25% of Jesus’ teachings revolved around issues of money, possessions, etc. Since we know that God doesn’t need our money (how ludicrious is that?), we know that issue is our hearts, and God knows that best way to expose the state of one’s heart is to expose the state of one’s checkbook. Where our treasure is there our heart will be also (Luke 12:34).
My prayer is Proverbs 30:8-9, “First help me never to tell a life. Second, give me neither poverty nor riches! Give me just enough to satisfy my needs. For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, “Who is the Lord?” and if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name.” Lord, give us this day our daily bread. Provide for our needs, and make us conduits of your resources and grace.
Probably the biggest thing that stuck out to me about this message was the reality that worship is sacrifice. In the Old Testament, you didn’t come to worship God with empty hands. And more than that, you didn’t bring your lame three-legged goat with eye sores! You brought the best! The book of Malachi is full of God’s rebuke to His people for their nasty ridiculous sacrifices. God’s saying, “I don’t want your three-legged goat! I want your best or not at all.” God doesn’t want our leftover change. God wants our hearts. He wants the firstfruits (Prov. 3:9-10), the best portion, the very first check we write every month. Now that Jesus has once and for all satisfied the sacrificial offering of the Old Testament, Paul tells us to “offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship” (Romans 12:1). We are to continue to sacrifice as our act of worship, through the giving of our lives. This includes our time, our talents, and yes, our money.
But perhaps it is in that word “our” that we fall prey to misconception. The real reason that many of us still struggle with sacrificial giving (I’m lumping myself in there too!), is that we don’t truly understand the concept of possessing nothing. We don’t truly understand that none of it is ours. Joel asked, if someone handed you $50,000 and then asked to have $5,000 back, would you feel cheated? Of course not! It wasn’t yours in the first place. But with God we seem to have forgotten this critical truth. Perhaps the right question is not, “Lord how much do you want me to give?” but rather “Lord, how much do you want me to keep?”
Though Joel purposely doesn’t know what any of the people in the church give, he did share some amazing statistics from our business pastor. The nine elders of our church give 15% of the total budget. Oh my goodness that is startling! The staff give another 5% of the total budget. So of the entire church budget of over 800 adults, 20% of the entire budget comes from the 20 elders and staff. 20% of the budget coming from 2% of the church. Hm… I have a feeling our church isn’t alone in this trend.
I must say, something must have been right about the spirit in which Joel shared this morning because I left feeling excited about giving more. I left feeling inspired to think of ways to curb our spending and energized to look at our budget and ask God where He wants to change things. I know that God loves a cheerful giver, and this message definitely made my heart feel this way. God has been so absolutely amazingly generous to Jeff and me, richly blessing us with health, amazing family, eternal life (!!!), peace, joy, the comfort of the Holy Spirit, an incredible son and thriving daughter. He has given us shelter, food, clothing, rich friendships and an awesome marriage. Why wouldn’t I want to give back every ounce that I can? Freely we have received, free give!
So as we head into the season that is characterized by consumption, spending, and materialism, let’s what it means to be thankful and content. How sad is it that Thanksgiving, the one day of the year that our nation sets aside to express thankfulness, usually only includes a 30-second prayer of obligatory thanks? And how sad is it that mere hours after this supposed holiday of thankfulness our nation begins the frenzy of shopping on Black Friday. Isn’t that ironic? Black Friday, which now begins at midnight after Thanksgiving, has crept closer and closer into the sacredness of Thanksgiving, until now we almost immediately turn from our offering of thanks to thinking about all the new stuff we can buy the next day. Perhaps this year could be different. Perhaps this year we can offer up a sacrifice of true thanksgiving to God, content and grateful to the core. And perhaps this year we can give a little more, spend a little less, and enjoy the wonder of Christ, the most beautiful, valuable, and captivating treasure our hearts will ever know. ‘Tis the Season.
Specifically, we’re called to LiveDifferent with regard to our sexuality. A few things really stood out to me from the lessons these past few weeks.
Sin Pursues Us. There are two main personifications in Proverbs–Wisdom and Sin. Wisdom is personified as a woman, and we are told to seek after her–above all, get wisdom! We’re to pursue it. But sin, or immorality specifically, also portrayed as a woman, pursues us. We don’t have to go looking for it. It crouches at the door, like a lion, seeking to destroy us (Gen. 4:7). We’re told that the immoral woman in Prov. 7 found this simple, naive, foolish young man and “She threw her arms around him and kissed him … You’re the one I was looking for! I came out to find you and here you are! … Come, let’s drink our fill of love until morning…” (NLT). We must recognize that sin is after us. Just consider our sex-drenched culture. Joel pointed out that 50 years ago Lucy and Ricky didn’t even sleep in the same bed on TV for fear of being too suggestive. Now we have entire shows devoted to sex and suggestive behavior. A recent study he found showed that (surprise!) those teenagers who watched sexually suggestive TV shows regularly were twice as likely to have a teenage pregnancy as those who did not. It’s everywhere! We don’t have to seek out impurity. It comes after us. We’re wise to beware.
This applies to more than just sexual sin. If we don’t resist the world, we will become just like it. It is natural to live naturally. I naturally will tend toward becoming engulfed in things like pursuing comfort, pleasure and superficiality. But it takes supernatural power to live in a supernatural way. We must be proactive to flee sin and pursue wisdom, righteousness, and holiness.
Naivity is Foolishness. The young man in Proverbs 5 and 7 who is seduced by this woman is described as simple, naive, young, foolish. We are stupid if we think that we or our marriages are above temptation and destruction. We are wise to set boundaries, flee, remove any opportunity for tempation. As women it might make us feel better to pretend that our husbands will never struggle with lust, pornography, or sexual temptation, but the reality is that they are bombarded with temptation every day. We need to understand the danger and take necessary precautions.
Things like internet accountability software is great. Every two weeks I get a report emailed to me of every website that Jeff has visited. I see lots of ESPN and desiringgod.org (John Piper’s site)! I’m so thankful for his initiative to do this. The fact that he chooses to do this communicates that he loves me and cares about our marriage. We also made a little pact that before we accept any “friend requests” on Facebook from members of the opposite sex that we check with each other. It’s just a simple way to make sure we’re up on each other’s lives. We also don’t become friends with any opposite sex people that the other doesn’t know. Little things. Though we might not like to think about it the dangers out there, it can save a marriage! My marriage professor said that every once in a while she and her husband will just ask each other, “Is there anyone I need to be worried about?” That way they can talk through any worrisome behavior or temptation before it goes any further.
Lastly, Marriage is The Place for The Fire to Blaze. Fire can save lives and destroy them. What’s disturbing about sex is that everyone who’s not married is doing it and everyone who’s married is not! What’s with that?! Pastor Joel exhorte the married couples–YOU have the environment for this fire to blaze. Set it on fire! The best way to prevent extra-marital sexual involvment is to make sure there is marital sexual involvement!
So there you have it. Might not get a whole lot of comments on this post, 
and I’m ok with that. “For you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body” (1 Cor. 6:20). Let’s LiveDifferent by honoring God with our bodies.
So, my incredibly handsome, fit, trim, intelligent, amazing husband has some serious gray-hair genes. His dad was absolutely silver before he was 40. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I admit I’m not ready for my tall, dark, and handsome husband to be tall, silver, and handsome…at least not yet. So he’s got some gray hair which looks fabulous, but I came up with the idea that before he started his new job it’d be fun dye his hair, just to keep the gray from becoming, let’s say, overly aggressive and getting out of control. “It’ll be fun!” I said.
Jeff, however, is not a hair-dye kind of guy. He was adamately opposed. “It’s not honest,” he insisted. “I want to be the real me. Gray hair and all. I am who I am and I want people to know that what they see is what they get.” To my eternal chagrin I persisted: “But honey, you’re doing it for me. It’s not dishonest, it’s just like how I take care of myself to bless you. It’s just like that. Puh-lease??” Oh dear. I can almost hear Eve’s syrupy voice echoing through my head: “Come’on Adam…it’s so tasty. Won’t you show me how much you love me by eating with me. Puh-lease???” Batting her ridiculous eyelashes. Good grief.
So, he succombed to my pressure. So I tried a dark brown color, and though it was fine, it definitely did NOT look like his natural color. It was just off enough to draw my eye constantly to his head…definitely not what I’d hoped for. So, one week before he started his new job, late on a Friday night, after we’d watched a movie and were about to head to bed, I suggest that I do one more fix-it on his hair to get it to the darker black color that he naturally is. Again, sweet husband of mine, gave in.
Mind you this is 10pm on a Friday night. Where my idiotic mind was I have no idea. The next day we were both in a wedding, serving communion. The following day, Sunday, was our special going-away service at church where Jeff would be up front on the stage sharing with the congregation about our new plans. Then, he had school, then that following Wednesday we had a special Welcome Luncheon with all the staff at our new church. Then he would start work at his new job, Mr. Associate Pastor, the following Monday. Do you get the picture?
Fix-it dye #2 is a disaster. His hair, apparently because it had already been dyed, took the dye WAY to heavy and it turned GOTH black, like blue-black, the kind that’s so shiny it’s like a Halloween wig. Seriously. It also had gotten all over his forehead and ears and dyed them black. So he had a black hairline, black ears, and black nceck. I tried to pretend it wasn’t that bad, but when Jeff went downstairs to straighten things up, I crawled in bed and started crying. It was horrible. He looked ridiculous, like he had a big black wig on. What do I do? Panicking I get online and starting google searches about undoing horrible hair colors. I find out about a product called Color Woops or something and see that Walgreens carries it and that Walgreens is open until 11pm. WIthout a word I dry my tears, march downstairs, in my sweats, slip on some flipflops, grab my purse, walk out the door, and drive to Walgreens where I find my magic stuff.
Back home now, I show him the magic stuff and he agrees to let me try. His scalp is feeling a bit tender, having been dyed twice now, but we figure we’re almost done with the horror. This stuff will supposedly take hair “back to its natural color”. Perfect. We apply, wait the allotted time. Rinse. NO. No, no, no. HORROR beyond HORROR. Now the roots have turned BRIGHT orange, like a pumpkin, and the ends of his hair are still black. Plus, it’s blotchy, so it looks like he’s used that orange and black spray on color people use at Halloween or OSU football games. NOT ok for a wedding. NOT ok for a first day of work as the new pastor. Not ok. More tears. Prayers. Pleading with God to somehow erase my stupidity.
Trip to Fred Meyer. Another color. Again, it goes straight to GOTH black. This time we decide we must go to bed, as its midnight and Jeff’s scalp is burning so bad he’s groaning and clenching his fists while we wait for the color to set. I’m crying. Praying. Pleading.
The next morning I have to meet someone out of town, so I’m forced to leave my poor ebony-haired husband home with our son. He’s supposed to drive Dutch out to Mom & Dad’s so that we can leave for the wedding at 12:30. I have to leave the house at 8:20. At 8:05 I race to Fred Meyer to try one last color, a lighter one. We put it on, rinse. At 8:40 his hair is blacker than ever and I have to leave. Crying the whole way down I-5 I’m convinced I’ve ruined my husband’s life. We talk on the phone and decide that since he’s driving Dutch out to Mom & Dad’s he can stop by the store, get one more Oops Color and a lighter shade of brown, and dye his hair by himself at my parents’ house before coming back and meeting me for the wedding. Ok, good. I’m feeling horrible about the fact that he has to walk into a drug store by himself and buy Oops Color and hair dye, feeling I’m sure like a complete idiot. I tell him to explain to everyone he sees that it’s his WIFE who is the idiot, not him. Of course he won’t do that.
So to make matters worse, we discover that the keys to his car are in my purse. He has no keys. Cannot take Dutch out to Mom and Dad’s. Cannot drive to the store to get hair product. So the man WALKS to the store, with our son, pushing a stroller. I still cannot even fathom the courage this must have taken, to walk proudly into a drug store, pushing a toddler boy in our ghetto stroller, and buying Oops color and hair dye. He wore a hat, but he said the lady at the counter couldn’t keep a straight face. Bless his heart.
To make a long story a tiny bit shorter, suffice it to say that we did a total of TEN treatments on Jeff’s hair. His scalp literally started blistering and falling off. For a week chunks of skin kept flaking off. And his hair is still an odd purple-red-blackish color. Do you think I’ve learned my lesson? Oh dearie. Yes I have.
But this is what amazes me about my husband. He never once blamed me or got angry. He NEVER lost his temper or got frustrated. In fact, selfish me was crying and saying how horrible the whole situation was and how stupid I am and he comforted ME, insisting it wasn’t my fault and I didn’t know how bad it would be. He never once told people, “My stupid wife did this to me.” He turned the whole thing into a joke, unafraid of admitting what had happened. Last week at church he was given a chance to introduce himself and briefly share his testimony. He opened by saying, “If my hair looks purple it’s because it is. In a few weeks it’ll be gray. You’ll have to ask us about that story.”
But this is what haunted me through this whole thing: How my stupid decision hurt no one but the one who deserved it least. I deserved to have ruined hair. I deserved to have my scalp burning off and blistering and flaking off in chunks. I deserved to look ridiculous and have to explain to everyone that I was an idiot. But my hair looks just fine. It’s my husband who suffers. My sweet, kind, caring, humble, gentle husband who suffers because of my decision. I kept pleading with God, “Lord, please don’t let Jeff suffer because of my stupidity.” And yet I kept sensing that God was teaching me something I would never forget–our selfish, stupid decisions hurt those we love the most. And so often others suffer the consequences of our stupid decisions. IT doesn’t seem fair, but it’s true. We see it everywhere. Children suffer from the divorce of their parents. Unborn children suffer for the decisions of their parents. Victims everywhere suffer because of others’ stupid decisions. Our actions and decisions affect others profoundly.
But more than any of those examples…our Lord Jesus Himself. Even now tears stream down my cheeks as I realize that ultimately THE Innocent One suffered for our sin. The one who least deserved to die was crucified so that our sin could be atoned. The innocent for the guilty. The consequences of my sin poured out on the perfect sinless One. Oh Jesus help us understand. Help us understand.
God also was showing me how costly our sin is. Though dyeing Jeff’s hair might not have been sin per se, it was definitely stupid and selfish, and selfishness is sin. You want to know how much we spent on hair treatments? Yeah, close to $100. That’s costly all right. Ridiculously costly. I lost sleep. I was exhausted Monday morning at school because I’d spent all night dyeing hair and all day worrying about it. I was anxious about meeting new people because I was afraid they’d think, “What on earth did he do to his hair?” The anxiety of it sapped my energy, my joy, my vitality. This is what sin does. This is what selfishness does. How costly was the sin in the garden? How costly is my daily sin? Your daily sin? Beyond comprehension. It was so costly that it took the perfect sinless Son of God to die a cruel death to remove our guilt. Do you think sin is costly? We have no idea.
So I take away from this hair dye trauma the lesson that we as women have incredible power to help or harm our husbands, children, friends. Every day we make decisions that bless, edify, help, encourage, or that harm. And others live with the consequences of our actions. No one sins in a bubble. I take away that my Savior suffered for my sin. He bore a lot more shame that Jeff did with his purple hair. He bore every ounce of sin and shame and pain from every sinful deed. He bore it all.
I will say that the $100 was worth it to gain this lesson. I will never forget it. I think I’ll forever walk a little less proudly. I think I’ll question myself a little more often. I pray that God gives me grace in the midst of my stupidity, my vanity, my selfishness. I pray He helps us understand the power of our influence, and the great cost of our selfish and stupid decisions. It may have only been Jeff’s hair, but it represents so much more. It represents Christ.
I’m thankful to report that Jeff’s scalp has healed. His hair is still kind of purpleish, but in a few weeks I’m sure he’ll be back to his normal, wonderful, dark graying self. I will never again try to alter my man. He is perfect for me. He is gracious, forgiving, gentle, merciful, loving. And I’ll forever understand just a little better the way Eve must have felt. I’m ashamed to admit how much like her I really am. Thank You, Lord Jesus, for suffering the consequences of our sin. I cannot say it enough. Thank You Lord Jesus.
