Daily Archives: November 21, 2008

I’ll just tell you, right now I’m struggling.  I’m struggling with desiring some stability and security.  We have moved eight times in the almost 5 1/2 years that we’ve been married, and I’m now almost 6 1/2 months pregnant with baby #2.  Insert insatiable urge to nest, coupled with the exhaustion of being on my final lap of the marathon that has been the 4 years of seminary.  I can see the end.  I feel like the last 4 1/2 years have been one long crazy transition, moving every six months, juggling work, seminary, pregnancy, baby, living with parents, commuting.  Right now I just want to curl up with my babies and never pack a box, grade a paper, or change addresses ever again. Ever.  The place on my driver’s license where you put new address stickers is layered so thick pretty soon I won’t be able to slide it into that clear plastic sleeve in my wallet.   

I found out today that we have some major obstacles to selling our home. I feel completely overwhelmed and desperate for wisdom.  I have no idea what to do.  We could move back into our McMinnville home, which would mean Jeff commuting two hours a day, six days a week, me changing hospitals and doctors a month before the baby is born, and commuting three hours to school for my internship meeting one day a week with a newborn.  This does not seem practical.  Our other option is let the home sit empty and risk losing every ounce of our equity if the house doesn’t sell in six months.  Right now I’d like to just snuggle down in bed, fall asleep, and wake up in 6 months when Dutch is potty trained and Heidi is sleeping through the night and we’re in a home of our own that’s not for sale. 

Let’s talk about sex.  We’ve never done this on this blog, and I’m a little afraid that now my spam-comment filter will have to go into overdrive catching all the ridiculous incoming junk.  But I think this is definitely our topic de jour. First my Biblical Perspectives of Family Ministry class has just finished the section on sexuality, then Pastor Joel just preached “Desire Wisely,” where he taught through Proverbs 5 and 7. 

Specifically, we’re called to LiveDifferent with regard to our sexuality.  A few things really stood out to me from the lessons these past few weeks.  

Sin Pursues Us.  There are two main personifications in Proverbs–Wisdom and Sin.  Wisdom is personified as a woman, and we are told to seek after her–above all, get wisdom!  We’re to pursue it.  But sin, or immorality specifically, also portrayed as a woman, pursues us.  We don’t have to go looking for it. It crouches at the door, like a lion, seeking to destroy us (Gen. 4:7).  We’re told that the immoral woman in Prov. 7 found this simple, naive, foolish young man and “She threw her arms around him and kissed him … You’re the one I was looking for! I came out to find you and here you are! … Come, let’s drink our fill of love until morning…” (NLT).  We must recognize that sin is after us.  Just consider our sex-drenched culture.  Joel pointed out that 50 years ago Lucy and Ricky didn’t even sleep in the same bed on TV for fear of being too suggestive.  Now we have entire shows devoted to sex and suggestive behavior.  A recent study he found showed that (surprise!) those teenagers who watched sexually suggestive TV shows regularly were twice as likely to have a teenage pregnancy as those who did not.  It’s everywhere!  We don’t have to seek out impurity.  It comes after us. We’re wise to beware.

This applies to more than just sexual sin.  If we don’t resist the world, we will become just like it. It is natural to live naturally. I naturally will tend toward becoming engulfed in things like pursuing comfort, pleasure and superficiality.  But it takes supernatural power to live in a supernatural way.  We must be proactive to flee sin and pursue wisdom, righteousness, and holiness.

Naivity is Foolishness.  The young man in Proverbs 5 and 7 who is seduced by this woman is described as simple, naive, young, foolish.  We are stupid if we think that we or our marriages are above temptation and destruction.  We are wise to set boundaries, flee, remove any opportunity for tempation.  As women it might make us feel better to pretend that our husbands will never struggle with lust, pornography, or sexual temptation, but the reality is that they are bombarded with temptation every day.  We need to understand the danger and take necessary precautions. 

Things like internet accountability software is great. Every two weeks I get a report emailed to me of every website that Jeff has visited.  I see lots of ESPN and desiringgod.org (John Piper’s site)!  I’m so thankful for his initiative to do this. The fact that he chooses to do this communicates that he loves me and cares about our marriage.  We also made a little pact that before we accept any “friend requests” on Facebook from members of the opposite sex that we check with each other.  It’s just a simple way to make sure we’re up on each other’s lives. We also don’t become friends with any opposite sex people that the other doesn’t know.  Little things.  Though we might not like to think about it the dangers out there, it can save a marriage!  My marriage professor said that every once in a while she and her husband will just ask each other, “Is there anyone I need to be worried about?” That way they can talk through any worrisome behavior or temptation before it goes any further. 

Lastly, Marriage is The Place for The Fire to Blaze.  Fire can save lives and destroy them.  What’s disturbing about sex is that everyone who’s not married is doing it and everyone who’s married is not! What’s with that?!  Pastor Joel exhorte the married couples–YOU have the environment for this fire to blaze.  Set it on fire!  The best way to prevent extra-marital sexual involvment is to make sure there is marital sexual involvement!

So there you have it.  Might not get a whole lot of comments on this post, 🙂 and I’m ok with that.  “For you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body” (1 Cor. 6:20).  Let’s LiveDifferent by honoring God with our bodies.