Just saying hi.
Right now, I’m cuddled up under a quilt (thank you Momma!), next to my sweet husband. I’m wearing my biggest, comfiest sweats, and I have that fuzzy-headed feeling from just waking up from a nap. Yes, that’s right–a nap! That’s unheard of. Sheer exhaustion drove me to snuggle down this Sunday afternoon and drift off. It was heavenly.
We had a FULL and wonderful holiday week. Dutch turned three, had two parties, lots of visitors and gifts (read: our house is overrun with toys and I have no idea how to tame the monster). We had some big ministry situations. All our families came to our house for Christmas, which was a dream for us. We did Christmas Eve service, then a big day on Christmas, then Jeff got sick but was scheduled to preach all three services this weekend. So he did, of course. He did great, but the confession is when Jeff preaches I am a nervous wreck. I love hearing from him, but I have yet to develop the alligator-hide skin that is necessary when in ministry, so sometimes I struggle with processing the abundance of feedback that one receives. There were also a couple other relational needs throughout the week, which is awesome, but left me, by today, feeling like if I didn’t lie down I would collapse into a heap. So I napped, and O thank You Jesus that You give your beloved sleep (Psalm 127:2). I now have warm-fuzzies, am snuggly warm in my sweats, and am happy again!
So I’ve been remiss in that I’ve not given a CCE update like I said I would. Jeff made me promise that I would not turn this blog into a coupon-cutting site, so I promised him I won’t start making every post about my “deals”, but I do enjoy passing on what I’m learning in all areas, even hair-highlighting.
One cool thing is that I did my first ever try at getting free stuff at the grocery store and it was actually a great success. I went to Safeway and Albertsons, armed with my coupons, and got: 10 lbs. of potatoes, 4 boxes of Corn flakes, 3 boxes of Raisin Bran, four cans of corn, 4 packages of shredded cheese–all for $5. So that’s kind of cool. And we’re the kind of family that on a busy day is happy to eat cereal for dinner, so 7 extra boxes is actually perfect for us.
Secondly, the hair. Well that’s part of the reason I needed a nap today. My hair stinkin’ wore me out this week. 🙂 My friend did mine on Sunday and it was fine. It looked natural, and I was happy. The problem came when, later in the week, I decided that you couldn’t really tell it was highlighted, it was so near my natural color, so I decided (start cringing now), that 2 hours before the Christmas Eve service, while my children were in the bathtub (I was right next to them I promise), that I would just “touch up” my own a little bit, add a few more highlights. You know, spice it up a bit. Oh dear. It was a disaster. It was so blotchy, uneven, and the color was a brassy awful color. Of course I was home alone, couldn’t leave the kids, and had to be at church in an hour, so I had no choice but to swallow my pride, get creative with how I fixed my hair (bobby pinning pieces in place to cover the blotches) and go to church. Right as I finally got composed and resolved not to cry, I went to get Dutch up (minutes before we had to be out the door), and he had taken off his diaper and diarrhea pooped all over the carpet. Yes. That’s when the tears came. Of course it all worked out, no one was injured, and thankfully church was a candlelit service. That night I ran to rite-aid (with my coupons!), and bought a dark blond color that matched my natural color, at the root, and dyed my whole head a dark color to at least just cover up all the awfulness. That was fine, then Christmas night, Jeff did the little cap-and-hook highlight thing for me and it turned out just fine. So now I am happy, my hair looks fine, and it still only cost an extra $15 for the mistake. I think I’ll stick with it and learn how to do it better each time.
I guess I’m only sharing that because what this whole CCE thing is showing me is that it’s ok that I’m not going to get it perfect the first time. I don’t have to “get” all the deals just right. I’m going to learn as I go. I’m really really bad at highlighting my own hair so I shouldn’t try. I’m learning, you know? And because I’m not very good at trying new things, it’s good for me to try things. Just like my sweater-collage concoction. The more I look at it the more I realize how it looks like a preschooler sewed it together. But how can I get better unless I try? I’m learning.
So it was a fabulous, exhausting week. The kids are up now and break time is over. Thanks for adventuring with me on this little journey. And don’t forget to nap!
My Boy is Three
December 21, 2009
Dear Dutch,
You are three years old today. I know that you’ve had a crazy-fun 48 hours. A music party with special guest Luke Simpson (!) and friends Tay-Tay, Carter, Taylor, and Brendan, and even a special visit from Nae-nae & Elisabeth. Then, a truck party today with Papa & Oma. I know you’re delirious with joy over your new Cars racetrack, your orange Mack truck, your Murdoch train, and your Cat roadwork machines. And, I know you’re super excited about your new Thomas Chart where you’re (hopefully!) going to learn to go potty on the toilet and get a new Thomas train. I’m really pulling for you buddy! I know you don’t like to talk about birthdays, and I know you get all embarrassed, so I thought I’d just write you this little letter, and keep it on my blog so I don’t lose it. And maybe someday you’ll understand. Or at least it will help me remember this special day.
I love you. I have never been so infuriated, agitated, frustrated, and absolutely head-over-heels intoxicated with love all at once. I stare at your blue eyes and marvel at how God created you with such genius and wonder. I love the smell of your face, and was in heaven today when we played puppies and I got to breath in your precious puppy breath and press my face up against your cold, slobber-covered cheek. I love how you protest so maturely now–since you know you can’t say “no” to mommy–, how you have now turned to reasoning, but with absolutely nonsensical logic: “But mommy, it’s just different!” I have no idea what’s different that makes it so you shouldn’t go to bed, but it’s just different. I love your thoughts: “Why do trains go backwards?” and your imitations of me: “There has to be a better way!” I love your re-naming of us all (Thomas, Gordon, Lizzie, Spud, Farmer Pickles, Bob, Speed), and am honored above all honors to be Wendy, Miss Sally, and your best friend Percy. I love your enthusiasm, how you about had a heart-attack yesterday when you opened your orange Mack truck. I don’t think I will ever have to coach you to express gratitude for the gifts you receive.
I love your prayers. I have no problem with you asking God for pizza, or thanking Him for the radiator on your matchbox car. In fact, I’m trying to make my prayer-life a little more like yours. I love your compassion–how you run and grab a toy for Heidi whenever she is crying. I love your imagination, how you can take a kitchen utensil and make it into a racecar, a hammer, a fence, a ladder, a bulldozer, and a barricade in a matter of 15 minutes.
I love your frightening resemblance to me. Not so much in outward appearance but in your ridiculous home-body-ness. I love that you are happy as a clam to stay at home all day long, and play with toys, read books, and make cookies, without ever seeing a soul. I love that you think songs with hand-motions are weird. I love that you love to read. I love that you constantly want to eat old-fashioned oatmeal and call whole-grain banana muffins “cake”. Ok, and I love that the two of us can eat a whole pizza and think nothing of it. Of course, I have to eat all the “puppyroni”.
Dutch, what’s so cool about you turning three is that I”m finding myself surprised and in awe of just how much I like you. Of course I’ve always loved you, from the moment you practically birthed yourself in three quick pushes. But now, now you’re a boy, and you’re mine. You’re my son first, but also my friend. You’re a person. And I love the little person that I’m discovering God created you to be.
I really need grace right now, babe. Sometimes you’re so naughty all I can do is cry and pray God will help me win the battle. Sometimes I get so tired I snap at you or yell or don’t respond the way I should. I’m sorry for the ways that I don’t show you how God wants us to be. But by His grace I’m going to keep trying, praying, trying, praying, to teach you, guide you, shepherd you, lead you, to be a boy–to be a man–who follows hard after God. I pray your little heart would be fertile soil, and that God would graciously draw you to Himself. Do your best to respond, ok???
Goodnight, Dutch. Thanks for an awesome day, and a breath-taking three years. I pray God would give us many more together.
I love you,
Mommy.
A Gift of Thanks
Do you ever just stop sometimes and marvel about how blessed we are? I mean all of us. Last night, I literally couldn’t sleep because I was just lying in bed, marveling at how good and gracious God is to us. I know I’ll probably be whining about something in the next breath, but I’m just saying that this time of year always brings me back to how breath-taking our Savior is and how gracious He has been to us.
Today was a special day (more on that later) so I loaded the kids in to my parents’ car and we made the trip to the adult care home where my grandma lives.
My grandma is an interesting lady. She’s my dad’s dad which explains a lot. She is a million years old (or 90-something), and stubborn as a mule. She was orphaned as a young child, and sent on a train to cross the country when she was 5-years-old, with nothing but a sign tied around her neck indicating where she was supposed to end up, asking fellow passengers to help her along her way. She’s had a hard life.
She raised two boys, my dad obviously being one of them (which is part of the hard life I referred to above), and was a no-nonsense, hard-headed woman. She helped my dad do crazy things like paint cars using a shop-vac and build additions onto their house. The married her high school basketball coach devoted her life to caring for him and her two boys. Then, a year before my brother was born, my grandpa died and she was widowed.
My grandpa was her life, and shortly after his death, she was so overcome with grief she told my dad she wanted to crawl into the grave next to him. She couldn’t imagine how she could possibly live without him. And yet, that’s exactly what she’s been doing for almost 35 years.
She’s traveled the world, accumulated significant wealth, and could probably fill the Rose Garden with all the crocheted dolls she’s made for underprivileged children. The crocheted curtains, wall-hangings and Christmas ornaments we have all came from her arthritic hands. She’s done a lot.
But her heart is so hard. I don’t know what all has happened to her, but somehow her heart has become hard.
We’ve never heard her say, “I love you.”
Never. She’s never said it. Not to her grandkids. Not to her kids. Not to her great-grandkids. We say it to her every time we see her, and now she’ll nod and say, “Uh huh.” But that’s as close as we get. She doesn’t say thank you, and she doesn’t smile much or give many compliments.
I’ve never seen her cry.
My dad has often talked to her about Christ. I’ve talked to her. We’ve given her sermons to listen to. Books to read. We’ve loved her, prayed for her. And honestly, I don’t know where she stands. She seems like an impenetrable wall: hard and impossible to read.
But leave it to my mom to break through, with a simple gift of thanks.
This year, my mom couldn’t think of anything else to give her for Christmas. She has a 10’x10′ room. That’s it. Her dresser is already covered with framed pictures and she already has a robe and slippers. What else is there?
So she gave her the gift of thanks. My mom went through their house and wrote down every single thing that they had, that my grandma had crocheted or made. Then she sat down and wrote my grandma a letter, thanking her for the way that she’d filled their house, naming the items, thanking her for the years and years she’d spent curving her painfully arthritic fingers around those crochet hooks, to bless my parents with beautiful things for their home. Not knowing how grandma would respond, she dropped the letter in the mail.
Today we arrived and my grandma immediately pulled herself onto her walker, without a word, and shuffled to her room, where she retrieved an envelope with “Karen” scribbled in my grandma’s shaky handwriting. Inside was a hand-written letter. It began like this:
Dear Karen, thank you for your note. You made me cry.
Please allow me to write my own list: …
Her writing has deteriorated and it was hard to read, but she went on to write out, in detail, things my mom had done for her in years passed. Giving up her bed and closet when grandma had cancer and had to stay with them. Administering medicine… the list went on. Things from years past. Things my mom had never even realized had touched her so. Her hand obviously tired and the note ended abruptly, of course without any flowery words or tender closing. But she made sure it found its way in mom’s hands.
I believe my mom was profoundly used by God in her simple gift of thanks. My grandma is such a hard woman I’m embarrassed to admit I sometimes forget she has a heart. But my mom’s gift of thanks trickled right through the unseen cracks in my grandma’s brittle front and touched the place I think we often miss.
I’m so thankful for my mom, who teaches me immeasurably through her quiet, humble, ways. I have so much to learn from her, and her gentle gifts of thanks.
CCE Update: A New Look & a BIG save!
Well I woke up to a fun surprise this morning. Jeff greeted me with a smile and said, “I made you a Christmas present! Go look at your computer!” And look I did and found this fine looking new look for my blog! I’d been wanting to update it for awhile, but of course I haven’t a clue how to do anything, so he surprised me and began working on it for my Christmas present. It’s still under construction, because he’s still tweaking and making changes, but we’re brightening things up a bit, letting go of the “no-picture” rule (and yes, Jen I will post a pic of the mantel!), and finally easing the strain on your poor eyes by doing a white background (we heard your complaints!) 🙂 In all his work and tweaking he made an interesting observation. ALL my recent posts have ended with ellipses. Guilty. It is true I am a gross abuser of that treasured grammatical tool that allows me to end without having a good ending. Sad.
But on a brighter note, the CCE Update is that I LOVE the cash envelope system. I am totally humbled and repentant of my resistance to using it. Yes, it has drawbacks, but it’s so fun it’s almost like a game. And I love that I don’t have to keep track of my checkbook register all the time and balance and blah blah blah. It’s all right there in the envelopes!
And in terms of saving, I think this latest thing is a jackpot. So I’d mentioned the wild and crazy idea of highlighting my own hair. Well, I’m telling you this is such a fun adventure. After posting that, I got a lot of advice/ideas and one friend who offered to do it with me, share the hair coloring stuff, and help do each other’s. Deal! Then, another friend generously gave me her Sally’s Beauty Supply membership card (=discount), AND a coupon for the store. Then, we hosted a College & Career game night on Friday night and I noticed one of the girls had freshly highlighted (and beautiful) hair. She mentioned that her mom did it and bought the stuff at Sally’s! So she texted me the info of exactly what to buy. So I went there today and there was a sale, plus my discount, plus my coupon, and get this: I got all the stuff I need to do my own hair for THREE YEARS (maybe have to get a little bit more powder, but close), for $21! My cash budget was $20, so I had to steal a dollar from my grocery envelope, but I think that’s allowable. Now I hate to even admit this, but I have to for the sake of comparison. The place I recently started going to for hair, here in West Linn, was$75, plus tip= $90/visit. Yikes! So I would probably go there 3-4 times a year, let’s say 4 just so the numbers can be really shocking :). That’s a total save, over 3 years of $1,060! That’s a LOT. That’s a Jesus-Well built in Asia for people to have clean drinking water. That kind of puts things in perspective, huh?
Now I know what you’re thinking, “You haven’t actually done your hair yet, so how do you know that it’s all going to work out??” Ok I don’t. But the highlighting party is tomorrow night at 7pm, so I’ll let you know how it goes.
Thanks for tagging along on this little CCE adventure! Even though I don’t have a cool way to end this post I will not use ellipses!
A Prayer Request
I sat down to write another fun little ideas-on-a-dime story, but my heart is heavy and I thought I’d just send out this prayer request. I’m not a big follower of big-name pastors, but one in particular has ministered tremendously to Jeff and me by his faithful teaching of God’s Word. His name is Matt Chandler, and he’s young, with a wife and three young kids. I mentioned him before in “Jesus wants the rose” (click to watch the video). He and his wife have just received devestating news that he has a non-encapsulated malignant brain tumor. They removed most of it, but couldn’t get it all. I know I’ve never met him, but my heart is heavy and I would just ask that you’d take a second and pray for him, his wife Lauren, and his three kids. I cannot imagine what they are going through.
Thanks, friends. More CCE updates to come…
CCE Update 3: Decorating on less than a dime
I guess this doesn’t technically have to do with cash, coupons and envelopes, but in a way it does because I am already seeing how my little cash-in-envelopes makes me really not want to spend our money!
So, I love seasonal decorating. I’m too slow to do much Christmas decorating (meaning that by the time I get it up there it’s almost time to take it down!), but I like doing wintery things that I figure can stay up until early March. So some of you may know that my favorite store on the planet is Anthropologie. Basically think eccentric, hand-made, rich textures, vintage…and very very expensive. I’ve actually never bought anything there for myself, but I like to look for inspiration. The sad part is that I’m never quite as talented as my imagination hopes that I am. Meaning, my projects end up looking like something an kindergartner brings home. But I figure I’ll never get any better if I don’t try, right? So, last time I was there they had these big art-pieces made out of pieces of sweaters sewn together. I loved it.
So I wanted to decorate for Christmas/winter, but didn’t want to spend any money. Not a dime. I had all these coupons to Michael’s, but if you’ll remember I swore I would never set foot in that place again (probably a bit rash), so anyway, my budget? $0. Now I had a headstart because I had this square wood 2″ frame that was 3′ x 3′. No back or anything, just a wood square. I also had a bag of old sweaters that I was taking to goodwill. Hmm… Though they didn’t fit very well, I loved the colors and textures–winter white and icy winter turquoise, cable-knit, chunky sweaters.
So, out came the scissors! I cut off the sleeves, necks, zippers. Sewed one white cable-knit into a pillow, and another turquoise chunky sweater into another pillow. Then, I cut up the rest of them into chunks, pieced them together like a funky quilt, sewed it all, stretched it over the square like a canvas, staple-gunned it into place, and stuck it all up on the mantel. Then I found two big hurricane candleholder/vases and at mom and dad’s house I found an old paper bag filled with crocheted white Christmas ball ornaments my grandma had made eons ago. I filled one hurricane vase with those balls, up to the brim, then I took a long strand of tiny white Christmas lights we had (with the white cord) and shoved them into a big ball in the other lamp, hid the cord behind the sweater collage, and viola! the mantel was aglow with winter light.
Now, I don’t claim that it’s fit to be called artwork, and some of you may walk in and go, “Wow. You cut up sweaters and did a very poor job of sewing them together.” But, I love my winter mantel, the frosty colors and the warm glow of my funky Christmas light hurricane lamp. And I love that it didn’t cost me a cent! My next project is to use antique-looking wrapping paper to Mod Podge the top of an old antique desk we have, then sand it down to look worn. And finally, I’m having a crazy urge to highlight my own hair. Is this stupid? I’d love your thoughts. What are some of your best creative zero-budget projects? I’d love some inspiration. And if you have advice for hair-coloring, send it along…
Why I Love My Church
I’ve written before about loving your church, about how it has a whole lot less to do with a congregation adhering to your preferences, singing the songs you like, etc. and a whole lot more to do with just getting to know the people and loving them, no matter what.
Well, we’ve just come through a ministry flurry. BUSY. Last week I felt like I was running a race all week long, and yesterday was the final lap–the formal women’s Christmas Dessert, where over 300 women came to celebrate Christ’s birth. Let’s just say it was a lot of work, and it was beautiful. Amazing. I loved it. But what I loved most was the joy of watching the dozens and dozens and dozens of people who helped do different tasks, all come together and work. Thirty women hosted tables, dozens of men served as waiters, there were musicians, sound and tech people, greeters, people doing registration, people assembling centerpieces, people plating desserts, people making coffee, people just doing stuff, doing whatever needed to be done. And when the whole thing was over, at almost 10pm last night, there were still at least a dozen people there, cleaning, bagging up linens, washing dishes, sweeping floors. It was amazing to see that truly many hands make light work.
There are always a few downers. You hear complaints, things go “wrong”, people get stressed. But I tell you, I love my church family viciously. I am so thankful to here. I am honored to be here.
So, nothing amazing, just wanted to express a thankful heart. I’d love to hear why you love your church: List 5 things you’re thankful for…
CCE Update 2: Shopping
I’m happy to report that my first big shopping trip doing the CCE experiment (Cash, Coupons & Envelopes) is successfully behind me. Again, mixed bag–but it comes with a fun story.
I had been clipping all week, so Friday morning I bravely zipped up my puffer jacket, armed with my envelopes, my cash, and my list of what to get at each place. Albertson’s, Rite-Aid, Winco, and Target. It all actually went fine. I’m amazed to report that I got our groceries for the month (including toiletries) for $140. However, I’ll still have to buy fruit, milk, and fresh stuff thorughout the month at Safeway, but it’s safe to say I think I saved a little.
That part that was tricky was at Target, because I needed Christmas gifts for Dutch, a few things for Heidi, some toiletries, some stuff for women’s ministry, you get the picture. So I had them ring it up in 4 different totals, and I felt like it took an hour using my silly cash stash from my different envelopes. Then, the register I happened upon didn’t have any change. So she had to add up all my “cash backs” then get assistance to get her change and give me all my change. Are you laughing yet? Yes, I was sweating by the time I got out of there. Then I forgot to use one of my coupons. Shoot!
But one really cool things was this: I had prayed on my drive there, asking God to just make me a good steward for my family, etc. and had also prayed (ok this sounds silly) for something to wear to this Christmas dessert thing I’m emcee-ing with Joy tomorrow. You know my silly justifications: pregnant last year, clothing fast, blah blah…the bottom line? I just wanted something fun! Well after using my coupons, I thought I’d stop by a consignment shop right by Winco. I had a little bit of Christmas money my parents had given in advance, so I headed in. In the parking lot I ran into a girl I knew who was new to Willamette, who I’d chatted with a bit. She’s a former pageant queen (read: she’s beautiful and has really nice clothes!). Anyway, she was dropping off some of her clothes at the consignment shop. We chatted, then I headed in. A few minutes later she came timidly up to me and said, “I feel sort of silly doing this, but I have all these clothes and they’re not going to buy them…would you like them?” My jaw dropped. Would I like them? Um, yeah! I happily took her clothes, including one Bebe dress in brand-new condition.
So had to laugh because I think the lesson for me was this, an old lesson made new again:
The right way to budget/shop/steward our finances is whatever is by faith.
I can clip coupons out of obligation, obsession, greed, fear, wanting to get ahead–you name it. Or I can do it by faith, joyfully, freely, whenever time allows, without fearing or fretting when it doesn’t work out, without stressing if I have to pay a bit more every once in a while.
I can also not clip coupons out of laziness, stubbornness, selfishness, not wanting to do what everyone else is doing (pride). Or I can do that by faith as well–letting go of control and asking God to do what only He can do–take the material things He’s given us and multiply them for His glory and for furthering His kingdom. Bottom line? My heart.
Of course we all knew this, right? But I just love how God reminds me over and over–it’s so much less about what I do and so much more about why I do it.
Conclusion: I think coupons are great. I got another great diaper deal today–200 diapers for $22. That’s $16 cheaper than Costco. I also had a stressful coupon encounter at another unnamed store today–where the fine print made me want to punch the cashier in the face (would not have been good). But I also want to make sure an obsession with saving doesn’t take me away from things far more valuable–like my kids (Speaking of, Heidi is chewing on the CHristmas lights right now–I better go!)
Thanks for adventuring with me! More to come…
Generosity Video
Here’s that link to the video from church that I’d promised. (one on left) Next post in progress!
What COULD We Give? (Willamette Christian Church) from Willamette Christian Church on Vimeo.
CCE Update 1: Diapers
Ok, so I promise to not turn this into a coupon clipping website, but I’m really curious (and still skeptical) about this whole Cash, Coupon, Envelope thing (CCE), so I’ll post some updates now and again. Here’s #1: (read the last post first if you have no idea what I’m talking about).
So last night I spent 1 hour surfing for coupons, from 9:15-10:15pm. Mixed bag. Down side: I was a little frustrated because again, most of the coupons were for things I would never buy. We try to stay away from a lot of pre-packaged food, and you just can’t find online coupons for most of the things we eat. Secondly, I was a little frustrated because I felt like a lot of the sites were speaking a different language: use insert from PR, use RR, IE, EE, AGH!! Plus I couldn’t get the “coupon printer” application to work on my computer, so I spent most of the time frustrated that even if I did find a coupon I couldn’t print it. But I’ll get Jeff to fix that and I will persevere!
I also had to chuckle because apparently I’m not the only one who feels like that. One woman commented, “I have to figure out a better way to do this coupon thing because I’m dying a slow death of stress…” Yikes! I also was surprised to realize sometimes to use all your coupons you have to do a bunch of transactions at a single store, or hit 5 stores in order to get all the deals. I wish I could say I can do that but I cannot imagine doing that while toting around my kids. Dutch would have the store burnt down by the time we got out of there. Yes, I know that’s another issue: Parenting and Discipline are the next topics of discussion.
Positive Side: I found a good diaper deal at www.diapers.com. If you spend $49 (easy), use the coupon code FRUGALLIVI (www.frugallivingnw.com), you get $10 off (if you’re a new customer), then you can fill out a rebate form once you get your diapers and The Early Years parenting magazine will send you a check for $15. Now, I usually buy Costco diapers, $39 for 200. WIth this deal I got 300 diapers for $30 (after the rebate arrives, 6-8 weeks). Now I did get a cheaper brand (Luvs), but still, 300 diapers would cost $57 at Costco–so that’s $27 savings. The downside is that that’s only a one-time deal for new customers, but hey, not bad.
1 hour spent
$27 savings.
I can’t say it was fun, and I would have loved that extra hour of sleep, but $27/hour isn’t bad for sitting in bed next to my sweet sleeping husband.
Enjoy the day!
K