photo by Mando Gomez

The way I see it.

Of all the shocked Americans, I may be the most.

There are a slew of status updates out there, a combination of horror, disgust, excitement, praise, lament. It’s fascinating that we can all watch the same event unfold, and yet see it in drastically different ways. So I share with you here, quite simply, the way I see it. It is my own perspective, so I share it with you not to campaign my convictions but simple to tell you my story.

I’ve shared some already here. In the midst of my Trump-disgust, we embarked on a corporate 40-day fast, and to my everlasting surprise, in the middle of the fast, I felt clearly a conviction to the core of my being, that I was to vote for Donald Trump. Not because he was a saint, but because God had a plan through this man, to “access” him somehow, for God’s glory.

I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that the battle in my heart these four months has been the most fierce I’ve ever felt. God convicted me of my cowardice and called me to share my conviction publicly, first with my most cherished family and friends, and then here. The challenge was real. I have never in my life felt a conviction that my husband didn’t share. I wept in prayer, in angst, asking God to help me reconcile honoring my husband and honoring His word to me. With all my heart I wanted to be obedient, without causing division in relationships I greatly valued. Thankfully, as I prayed and surrendered, God paved the way for peace. Every word I’ve spoken or written has been with my husband’s blessing.

Quite frankly, I never in a million years actually expected Trump to win. In fact, in some ways it felt “safe” to share my conviction with people, because I was equally convinced that DT would never win! Plus, I live in the bluest of the blue states. My vote basically didn’t even matter.

But amazingly, my prayers did. As the election neared, we began to sense more and more urgency to pray. A small group of us who shared this conviction, in response to Lou Engle’s call, agreed to fast lunch for 11 days, to pray and ask God for His mercy on our nation. Each day as we fasted, I admit it seemed a little futile. Skipping lunch for a guy who basically had no chance to win? But we prayed. And I know millions of others did too.

Over the days, my prayers changed. I saw things. Realized things. Scripture leapt off the page. More and more it didn’t matter that this man DT was the “lesser of two evils.” Of course he was! Jesus Christ has never run for president so even the best candidate is the lesser of two evils. Plus, I began to see Trump’s past, his shortcomings, as potential for God to move and work, to glorify Himself.

We continued to pray. On Monday we experienced the darkest day I have possibly ever felt. It was bizarre. Hopelessness, discouragement, weird thoughts, everything going wrong. Jeff and I both felt strangely despondent. Another dear friend who was also fasting, had a severe health attack that rendered her incapable of getting out of bed. But that night, we had our weekly prayer meeting at our house, on the eve of the election, at the same time I know millions of others were too. And the heaviness lifted. We didn’t pray for DT or a certain outcome, we just prayed for God’s mercy. We prayed Joel 2:12-14,

“Yet even now,” declares the LORD, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love … Who knows whether He will turn and relent and leave a blessing behind him?”

Yesterday morning, I woke with unquenchable joy, even though I figured the election was a done deal, in Hillary’s favor. The polls were clear. I figured we were done. But that morning in prayer, the Holy Spirit rebuked me—We’re not done! Keep praying. This isn’t a done deal. I texted my friend, “Let’s keep praying!” So we did, even though I honestly didn’t expect much.

That night, we went to my parents’ house. At 5pm, I joked with Jeff that we should splurge and drink a Coke that night as a consolation prize. I was 100% expecting a Hillary win. I just wanted to be there to pray and watch this whole thing unfold.

And then, before my very eyes, a miracle unfolded. Within hours, the entire election flipped upside down. Before my very eyes I saw the same vision I had seen in prayer, of states literally morphing from blue to red. Before my very eyes I saw history change. I wept. I got on my face. We prayed. We worshipped. We repented and confessed and asked for mercy. We asked for states, then watched with jaw-dropped amazement as those states gradually crept toward Trump, over and over and over.

I have never seen anything like it in my entire life.

PLEASE hear my heart. I am NOT equating Republican=good, Democrat=bad. I am not gloating, boasting, bragging. I am just as shocked as anyone else, probably more so. I do not put my hope in ANY human president. But I believe that God has a plan that is greater and more glorious than we ever imagined, even if it also includes a lot of pain and difficulty, confusion and complexity. All I know is that I witnessed a miracle last night, and I spent most of the evening on my face, worshipping our amazing God who hears our prayers.

We do not need to be afraid. Sure, we don’t know what the days ahead of us hold. WE NEVER DO. If we have EVER hoped in a person or certain government as our security, it is high time we trusted in the perfect plan and provision of God instead. Let’s stop lamenting and begin PRAYING. Let’s recognize that although we may not be in the ideal situation, God’s MERCY on us is great.

Friends, please hear me: I’m not asking you to like Donald Trump. I’m asking you to PRAY. I was so convicted by the fact that I was PRAYING over our nation, and over states, and over people, like nobody’s business last night. I am challenged to KEEP PRAYING WITH THAT SAME FERVENCY. This isn’t the end. This is only the beginning. It is time for the church in America to wake up, repent, love, serve, submit to the Scriptures, uphold the holiness of God, and birth true HONOR and JUSTICE. It’s time for America to be a blessing to the world God loves.

Let’s unite under the great and mighty name of the Lord our God, who alone is in control of this crazy world we live in. Let’s pray like never before, love like never before, and live for God like never before. Thank you for reading.