Mommy Fails: What our days are really like
Just for fun, I asked y’all to share with me some of your favorite “fail” moments as a mom. Some sweet gals gathered last night to talk about how we measure our worth as women, and so often it’s based on our performance as moms. So, I just thought it’d be refreshing to see a glimpse of what our days are really like, as moms. I didn’t have space to include them all, but here are a few, kept anonymous. 😉 Enjoy!
There was the time we loaded all the kids in the car for the ride to church and I kept feeling like I was forgetting something. It was baby number 4 who was sleeping in the bassinet inside the house.
i let them have brownies for breakfast, skip homeschooling, play in the mud, stay outside in the dark to play in the rain…one in just a diaper…..all just today.
I used a wipe to clean my child up before the Dr appointment when I realized he hadn’t bathed in a week and might smell….there was no clean underwear either!
I bribe my older 2 with cash to play with the 2 yr old so I can get a break. Or dumping the poop out of a diaper then putting it back on and using paper towels as wipes while shopping,because I forgot to bring diapers and wipes.
I once bribed my kids into an early bed time with the promise of chocolate cake for breakfast the next morning. I also discovered about a year too late that my son had outgrown his underwear. Gives a new spin to “tighty whities.”
Finally Remembering to brush my toddler’s teeth at bedtime. No fruits or veggies with any meals cause I need to go to the store. Having to run the washing machine again (maybe a few times!) because the clothes have mildewed.
I made homemade cinnamon rolls for my husband’s birthday this year. It was so much work and I was so exhausted that I let my 2 year old eat them for breakfast, lunch, and you guessed it… Dinner too!
I let my boys pee in the backyard when they’re outside playing, for simplicity and so they don’t track dirt into the house over and over. Apparently, I’ve failed to make sure they know the backyard is the ONLY outdoor place they can pee, because they’ve ALL (4 of them) peed outside in public places (planters, playgrounds, etc).
Signing up to bring a friend & her sweet little family dinner after bringing home a new baby.. And not remembering until the day after I was assigned.
Just today, I took my two year old to my financial appointment and thought there was a funny smell in the room. I realized as I was leaving that my daughter had completely soaked and pooped through her diaper and clothes . She was the funny smell apparently.
My two year old son walked across the street without me having a clue.
Fell asleep before it was time to pick our son up from school when he was in kindergarten and the office had to call me, I was so embarrassed!! And felt so bad that my son thought his momma forgot him!
With my first daughter I was getting ready for her 3 day old check up and feeling pretty confident I even mentioned to my mom that this was way easier than I thought it would be and I didn’t understand why moms were always late to everything. About halfway there I looked down and noticed I was wearing my fuzzy pink slippers. I hadn’t changed into my shoes. I guess this new mom thing wasn’t so easy after all the nurses had a good laugh about it.
when Elle’s told me she had to go potty- Not wanting to go back into the store I did something I thought I would never do…..opened my car door for some privacy and let her go potty on the ground, in our parking spot. I was holding her while she was going and heard her grunt. I knew before even looking that she had gone #2….not knowing what to do and in a moment of panic, I calmly put her in her carseat- got in my car……and made sure to back over her #2
I always fail at laundry, so I’m constantly telling my Littles to find their cleanest dirty pair (pants, socks, shirt, etc…) and put that on
Yesterday Grace walked upstairs after I asked her to get changed and she declared “Mom, I found my cleanest dirty pair!”
I was secretly upset at myself because once again I failed at having clean clothes for her, but mostly I was proud that she found her cleanest dirty pair and didn’t even bat an eye!!!
There was that time when the chicken got locked in the minivan over night… I think my husband described it as a poop explosion. We were late to church that day….
With 5 kids I forget things all the time, especially diapers! I was visiting a friends house and the kids were playing for a while when one of my kids told me Nora had a poopy diaper. I checked my purse for a diaper, none there. I went to my car to go find one, but came up empty. We decided the best thing was to grab a pair of underwear that belonged to my friends little boy and put a maxi pad in the underwear! That is what Nora wore for about and hour until we headed home!
Ummm… How about EVERY Sunday morning when I feed my kids their breakfast, strap on their shoes and do their hair all while sitting in the front row at church during worship. (This one is from my dear friend–in our church! Her husband leads worship and I love that she frees him up to serve, and sits beaming in the front row feeding her kids breakfast. 😉
I went to Church, so tired with a new baby, one of my friends was holding the baby for me, after the service I went home. I was home for about 15 min when I received a call from my friend. She asked me if I forgot something at the church. I looked around, nope, I have my purse etc. She said what about the baby!! She laughed, my daughter still reminds me, she is 29 now!
{Oh dear Mamas, I pray a little comic relief lightens your load today, and you know you are not alone. We are with you and God is with you on this mommy-hood adventure. Have a blessed weekend; thanks for reading.}
Prayer Cards: A simple tool that really works
Yesterday as she opened her Bible, a stack of colored index cards slipped out onto the floor. I had to smile. I knew exactly what they were and why she likely kept them with her all the time.
Because I do too!
I’ve been a Christian for almost 30 years, but I just started really praying two months ago. I’m not trying to be dramatic, but the change in my prayer life has been just that–dramatic.
Because of what? Prayer Cards.
Now, I’ve often used assorted types of prayer cards in the past but these specifically have so powerfully transformed my times in prayer. I’d love to share them with you!
They come from Paul Miller’s book A Praying Life. If you have not yet read this book, please click over immediately to Amazon and purchase a copy. Now.
He leads a journey into becoming childlike and honest in our prayers, identifying real needs and strategically praying in specific ways over those things. He helps us learn to pray God’s Word over each situation and continue persevering in asking, seeking, knocking over and over and over. For me, the journey was learning to pray with greater
- focus
- purpose
- confidence
- patience
- faith
When I first heard of these prayer cards I admit I felt a slight, “Been there, done that,” cynicism flitting through my mind. But my dear friend Elisha was so enthusiastic about them I finally cheated and skipped to the back of the book to see what the hype was all about.
I was hooked. I spent the weekend making my own, and dove in to praying through them each day. Almost immediately I started seeing results! It was crazy! That first week I gushed through all the ways I’d seen God answer the specific, Scripture-based prayers from the week before. A part of me wondered if the novelty would wear off, but I’m 2-months in and still loving this helpful tool. Of course, it’s just a tool. God is what’s powerful, not the cards. But they are, in my opinion, an insanely helpful tool. Paul Miller has been using his for decades and still finds them immensely helpful in his own personal prayer life.
So what are they? Just a way to identify the people and needs around you that God has called you specifically to strategically pray for: Miller gives a sample deck in his book (p.232). They are roughly broken into Repentance, Family & Friends, Specific Needs, Ministry, Work, Co-Workers, Other Relationships, Dreams, etc.
Mine look like this (I put them on a metal ring so I can flip through):
- Repentance cards (2-3): These are things I need to regularly confess to God and ask for His help in overcoming my tendency to sin in this area. My current two are titled “Unbelief” and “Pride”–they include specific ways I tend toward these sins, and specific scriptures on each to pray through each morning.
- Immediate Family (3): One each for Jeff, Heidi, and Dutch, with specific verses, characteristics, and/or issues to pray for each one, each day. (I’ve seen huge answers to prayer on these ones! Miller says “I do my best parenting through prayer.”)
- Extended family cards (2): I have one for my “Zyp-side” family members and one for my “Patterson-side” family members, with a word or two, or a verse.
- Close friends (1): I have a few close friends listed here, with specific (ongoing) needs, and notes jotted down when answers come or other needs arise.
- Healing (1): Here I have the names of people I am specifically and faithfully praying for physical healing every day, along with verses (Acts 3:16, Ex. 15:26, Matt 8:16, and others) regarding healing.
- Salvation (1): I now see how healing and “salvation” are partly one and the same, but this card refers to those who do not yet follow Jesus as their Savior and King. Romans 10:9 is written across the top to pray for each of these people.
- Bible Study (1): Here I pray for the 21 ladies who are currently involved in Women’s Bible Study. I don’t pray for each of them every day by name, but I look over the list each day, pray over them in general, and usually pick a few to pray for individually.
- Retreats (1): Here I pray specific scriptures over all my speaking events, asking God for boldness and humility, and praying for life change, repentance, salvation, freedom, faith, and joy.
- Renew (1): Here I pray specific, scriptural verses over Renew, for the elders, for increased influence for the gospel, for unity and love, and jot down specific things that come to mind and ways I believe God wants me to pray. This is a fun card!
- Renew fam (1): I know that if we get bigger I won’t be able to list everyone on one card! But for now I can. I listed all the last-names of the families of Renew all on a card. Again, I don’t pray for each one every day, but I’ll pick several each day.
- Missionaries (1): Here I list the 5 main ministries we support and pray for each one.
- Sacred Mundane (1): Here I pray specific things for this ministry, this blog, my book project, etc.
- Personal (1): Finally, I dream. 🙂 I pray for specific dreams I think God has placed in my heart, and for any personal things I desire to see God do, according to His will.
And of course prayer is not simply reading over these cards each day. These cards are a diving board, a place to begin and then leap into a conversation with the Father and pour out my heart, listen to His Spirit, and pray as He leads. But the cards keep me on track, and remind of what I already know to pray for, according to His Word, so my prayer time doesn’t end up being an exercise in mind-wandering and mental grocery-list making.
Of course I’m still a beginner in prayer, but the change has been dramatic in my prayer life. I’m enjoying prayer, looking forward to it, feeling confident in it, and seeing real results. I get discouraged less often and see more “incremental answers”–little ways I see God moving even if the “end result” answer remains unfinished. I can honestly say I’m learning to love to pray.
This, perhaps, is the greatest answer of all.
{Thanks for reading.}
Where I found my people
I never dreamed I’d find my people there. It was 4 years ago when I sneaked into my first writer’s conference. Sure, I had paid for registration, but there was no doubt in my mind: I was an impostor. I did not belong with these poets and authors, journalists and novelists, but I slipped in anyway, careful to camouflage myself with the crowd, eyes down, hoping no one would notice or ask to see my work.
What I discovered, however, with wonder and joy and awe: I did belong. Not only that, I came home, breathless, and announced to Jeff: These are my people!
Last weekend I once again attended the Faith & Culture Writer’s Conference, and was reminded afresh: These are my people. Of course, there’s very much a part of me that doesn’t fit there. They use the word “space” a lot, and I think they all love poetry. I’m actually quite left-brained: I like logic and linear thinking. I’m sequential, and I like facts. There we are referred to as “Creatives” (I’m not sure when that word became a noun), and this makes me feel strange.
There were moments of feeling painfully out-of-place, but although we were not all identical, those are my people, and as I listened to their voices, they showed me parts of humanity, parts of myself, parts of our God, that I hadn’t seen before. I loved my experience there.
I love my people there.
Driving home from the conference I remembered back to my first time teaching a retreat for Mountain Ministries, a drug rehab and discipleship facility. They were tatted up like nobody’s business and sharing stories of—WOW!—sordid pasts, and I felt so incredibly intimidated and ill-equipped as I stood up, squeaky clean, to teach Scripture, sure they’d lean back and fold their arms and narrow their eyes and retort, “And what do you know???”
But they didn’t. As we devoured God’s Word together and worshipped Him with all our hearts I was so overwhelmed by the powerful realization: These are my people! I wanted to stay there, live there, amongst these; the poor in spirit who recognize the greatness of grace and who live lives of lavish love. (Since I couldn’t live there I got one of them to come live with me!)
And then as I finished the drive home that day, I rounded the corner and saw our yard: my kids running free, chasing around that ridiculous red exercise ball, and I laughed to myself and couldn’t help but say out loud, These are my people! These, this family—they know me, sides of me that no one else knows. These are my people.
And then the next morning I gathered those little people into the car and we headed a few blocks through town and pulled up at the beloved Revival Building, where our local church gathers to worship each week. And this particular Sunday another local church had joined us. We’re all different. And of course half of us had never met each other but we introduced ourselves and slid in and sat close and sang songs and lifted our hands to the One True God, the King of Kings.
We dipped our bread together into one communion cup and all sang:
Scandal of Grace, You died in my Place so my soul will live!
And our voices rose together as one, and I thought: These are my people.
How often I have wasted time trying to find people just like me, thinking these are my people.
I’ve found my people in the places where I didn’t pick and choose[bctt tweet=”I’ve found my people in the places where I didn’t pick and choose.”]I’ve found my people in the places where I didn’t pick and choose, in the places where I never thought I would. And finding my people in places like these has helped me find more of myself and more of the God who is building a kingdom from every tribe, tongue and nation. He gathers us together for one glorious purpose—to declare over us with joy: These are My people.
{Thank you for being my people as well. I’m so grateful you are here. Happy Monday; thanks for reading.}
Why we’re not there yet…
I opened my eyes and looked: her hands were the same. I sighed, ever so slightly:
Not there yet.
I had held hers in my own as we’d prayed. Hers were curled in tight on themselves, virtually unusable. Just another of disease’s cruelties. She once was a painter, an artist, a calligrapher. As I child I remember watching her write. Her pen swept across the page in light, looping cursive. Her nimble fingers danced.
Now they cannot hold a fork.
I had prayed that day, like I always do. Over and over. With scripture, in faith, completely convinced our God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He never once in scripture turned away a sick person, never said “no,” never wasn’t willing.
He was always willing.
That is why I am not discouraged. Because we’re not there yet. Yes, I look forward to the day when my mom will hold a fork, write, walk again. Simple, blessed luxuries. But more than anything I look forward to the story she will tell, of God’s miraculous power and provision.
But we’re not there yet. Why? I’m not sure exactly. I have hunches, here and there. I see spectacular things happening along the way. We’re learning to trust, persevere, keep praying. We’re learning resolve, learning joy in the midst of pain. My parents shine. Their faith is growing.
I’m beginning to believe that healing always happens from the inside out.
And I’m beginning to see that the reason we’re not there yet is …
we’re not there yet.
Not to be simplistic, but how often I have agonized over a long journey. I’ve had a book in my mind and heart for nearly 15 years. I’d been writing it for almost 4. I’ve re-written my book proposal at least a dozen times. There have been countless high hopes and disappointments. I used to believe that somehow when I “figured it out” or got godly enough that–TADA!–the fulfillment would finally come.
Now I think that the reason we’re not there yet is…
we’re not there yet.
I think how often my kids are anxious on a long road trip. Of how they wonder why whatever is taking so long. The answer isn’t that they’ve done something wrong or they’re not quite perfect yet or if they just focused their minds a bit more then we’d magically arrive at the destination.
The reason we’re not there yet is…
we’re not there yet.
There are more miles to travel. More to learn. More to see. There’s more glory to behold along this road and although it may seem long and rocky at times — this is the way there.
This is the way there.
And I will not let the length of the road convince me there is no destination. I will not let the length of the road convince me to quit.
The only thing that will ruin the journey is if I decide I’m just not willing to take it.
I want to.
I want this journey. All of it.
The church-planting, the parenting, the prayers for healing, the marriage, the book-writing, the believing.
All of it, it’s just a journey of faith.
That is why I’m not discouraged. Because if something is not God’s good and perfect will, then I don’t want it.
And if it is, I’m willing to go a long way to get it.
Abraham waited 25 years for the promise of God to be fulfilled. And you know what happened during those 25 years?
He grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God.
“No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave gory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.” Rom. 4:20-21
He didn’t wait until the end to give glory to God. He did it all along the way.
And it was long way.
Maybe that’s the reason we’re not there yet. It’s a long way. But it’s a good road. I want to take it.
It’s worth it.
{Happy weekend dear friends! Thank you so much for reading.}