Sacred Mundane: The Blog

It was a cold, dark, January day when I found The Church-Planting Wife sitting there on my kitchen counter. 

We were at our 6-month mark of church-planting adventure, and Jeff had purchased the special book for me. The timing was perfect. I cried my way through the first few chapters, thinking, “Finally! Someone who really understands!” Her words were truth, life, hope. They  were truly covered in grace. This wasn’t a pep talk telling me to do more, be more, achieve more. These words were like a warm blanket, reminding me of God’s extravagant love and grace and inspiring me to trust Him more and more. I found myself thanking God for Christine Hoover and praying God would bless her for her sacrifice of time and energy to write that book.

And so imagine my joy at the great privilege of sharing a few words over on Christine’s site, Grace Covers Me, today.

Especially because that so perfectly sums up what this past five years have been about–learning that grace covers me. And so, with this simple sacred phrase in mind, I share again this letter to myself. I’d be so honored if you’d join us over here and let grace cover you today…  Thanks for reading.

Remember how God got His people stuck? Right now I’m re-reading Rees Howells:Intercessor (fabulous read!), and being challenged all over again to trust completely in God.  Over and over God would lead Rees in prayer to go all these different routes, only to prove that no money, no man, and no medicine could truly do the trick. Only a miracle would do. And then, after all options had been tried, every source dried up and every resource exhausted, then God would swoop in and do a crazy miracle, flexing His muscles and proving to everyone watching that He alone is God.

I think He must just love that.

I believe He’s doing that with us too. He just wants to make sure we–and all who are watching–will know that He alone is God and He alone deserves all trust, praise, glory, worship, adoration.

When I was reading this book last year, we were hoping to buy a certain short-sale house while we still had an income, before taking the crazy leap into the church-planting-no-paystubs-there’s-no-way-any-bank-would-loan-us-money adventure. But all summer long God had us waiting. Just waiting. Then, our employment ended. No paystubs = no financing. Three days after our employment ended we heard back that the bank was ready to move forward with the house sale.

HAHAHAHA!

Okay, God: You’re doing things Your own way. 

We ran out of options. Completely. We walked away from the house frustrated and discouraged. But you know what happened after that? God swooped in, giving us more than we could have ever imagined. Yes, a better house.

But more importantly, a better faith. 

See, man’s way is to look and see what he already has–how many leaders, how much money, what gifts, talents, abilities, and then attempt something based on what he already has.

God’s way is to show His people what HE wants to do and then show us how completely inadequate and ill-prepared and under-resourced we are for the task, and then swoop in with His miraculous power and matchless resources and do His work in His power in His way for His glory.

But in order to get to that really cool God-swooping-in part we have to walk through the all-run-out-of-options part.

You ever been there? Maybe you are there. We are too. (Again!) Remember, God loves to remind us that every other source will leave us empty. Only dependence on Him will yield the fruit of righteousness, faith, love, hope. Only abiding in Him and relying on Him for everything will give us lasting joy.

So just in case you’re in the middle of the all-run-out-of-options part of the story, hold on. Hold onto Jesus, the really cool God-swooping-in part is coming …

{Where are you out of options? Trusting Him, with you. Thanks for reading.}

To the hungry, even what is bitter tastes sweet.

I wish I hadn’t been so soul-hungry. Wish I hadn’t scarfed down bitterness as if it were a treat.

Emerging from low places is a vulnerable place to be. I wish I could go back and say a few things to myself. Usually, I don’t spend much time looking back. What’s in the rearview mirror is only critically important if I’m going backwards. But a glance over the shoulder here and there is helpful, to reflect. What would I say to myself? Just this:

“You are not poor.”

I would look me in the 28-year-old tired eyes, touch the round pregnant belly, kiss the 20-month-old temperamental toddler, smile at the toys strewn all over the house, and say:

I know you feel lost and lonely. It’s been 4 years since that ministry-job fell apart and you’ve been sitting in the midst of broken dreams, waiting, wondering what went wrong. Where you went wrong. You’ve been living with your parents, swallowed up, looking for your identity, wondering where you went. You’ve tossed a baby into the mix and now another. You haven’t had an income for some time now and you feel like a charity case and everywhere you look everyone seems to have it figured out.

So this new job Jeff just got, it feels like your salvation …

But it’s not. Yes, it’s a gift. Yes, it’s God’s path. Yes, it will be a blessing in so many ways. But beware because your soul is so hungry right now, you might just scarf down bitter stuff and think it’s really sweet.

You are not poor.

You, daughter of the King, are relationally rich.

So you don’t have to scrape and beg for friendship. You don’t have to hang your worth on a woman, or women, wishing for their love and approval.

You don’t have to desperately hope your children will behave. Sometimes they will. Sometimes they won’t. Forget all the watching eyes, the infinite parenting opinions and the dogmatic directives. Listen closely to the Father’s guiding whisper and get down lower, leaning in close enough to look into your child’s eyes, taste his breath, know his heart. Enjoy your children, Kari. You will never get these little years again.

You don’t have to be at every event. You don’t have to wear a Pastor’s Wife hat. That hat is heavy, don’t do it! Just be Jeff’s wife and revel in his love and adoration and crazy affection. He is nuts about you, girl! Throw yourself at that man. He doesn’t need a coach, he needs a wife.

You don’t have to follow the American Dream. That house, the one in your head, will be an albatross around your neck. You’ll get it, love it, loathe it, leave it. Just FYI: you’d save yourself $50,000 if you ditch the dream-home idea and go straight for the simple lasting beauty of contentment. It’s timeless.

You don’t have to crumble at every criticism. No one expects you to be perfect, so stop trying. Some of these words are from God. Let those ones sink in deep. But some of these words are likely spoken from a place of jealousy or fear. Let the Holy Spirit filter everything for you. Do not take upon yourself everyone else’s issues.

The truth is, you are not poor. You are so ridiculously rich in Jesus. His approval is unwavering, His love unceasing, His affection unrelenting, His grace never-ending. Don’t be fooled into thinking you are hungry, girl. Don’t scarf down all that bitterness, desperate for something to fill.

You are full. Rich. Free. You are the daughter of the King. Never forget. 

Love,

me

 {Visiting Cara Joyner today… would love to see you over there. Now, your turn: What would you say to yourself 5 years ago? Would love for you to share. Thanks for reading.}