Sacred Mundane: The Blog

“You should go to this.” My husband pulled a flyer out of his bag and slid it across the counter to me.

“Faith & Culture Writer’s Conference? No way.” He tilted his head, gave me a stop-being-ridiculous look, and waited.

“#1, I’m not a writer. I’m a wannabe. I’m a blogger with a pathetically small following and I say I’m going to write a book but I probably never will. #2, All the people there will be real writers. Authors and stuff. No way I’m going.”

He wasn’t listening.

“They have appointments with literary agents. You can share your book idea and get feedback. It’s only $55. I’m signing you up.”

Several weeks later I finally caved.

As I filled out the registration form, I scrolled through the photos of literary agents. Hmm … which one to pick? Oh man, not Bill Jensen. Too scary. Jenni Burke! She looks nice, and she’s smiling in her picture. I’ll pick her. She’ll let me down easy and won’t laugh at me and make me cry. 

Done.

The week of the conference, Western Seminary called. “We’re so sorry. Your registration had an error and had to be resubmitted. Because of that the agent appointments have filled up. The only one left is with Bill Jensen.”

Panic. Scary Guy!

I prepared for the conference as most lame people do when afraid — I pretended it wasn’t happening. Finally, at 10pm the night before the conference, I figured I better have something to give to Scary Guy. So I Googled “How to write a book proposal” and quickly found myself more overwhelmed than ever. It was a little late to begin drafting up the 50-page proposal that Rachel Gardner said was necessary. I had nothing but a blog and a dream. And Scary Guy.

I arrived alone and didn’t know a soul. Holding something in my hand would provide security, so I headed for the coffee. A bright, cheery gal in her 50s started chit-chatting, and to my surprise she wasn’t published either. She was just an artist who loved Jesus, photography and poetry and had come to learn whatever she could. What a novel idea!

From the very first session I was hooked. Paul Metzger had me mesmerized as he shared Jeremiah 20:9 and spoke of a message shut up in our bones, how we should only write if we must write, if we had a message that we could not hold in. That was it! That was exactly how I felt. The more he spoke the more I realized this simple but profound truth: I am a writer. If God has called me to write, I am a writer.

An ISBN in my name does not make me a writer.

Writing makes me a writer.

Cornelia’s workshop had me feverishly scribbling notes and again, encouraged. Where Dr. Metzger had inspired my soul, Cornelia gave me practical tools. I kept texting my husband, “This is amazing. Thank you so much for making me attend!”

But I still had to face Scary Guy. When the time for my appointment came, I waited at the door and read his bio. Oh for crying out loud. He’d been in the literary industry longer than I’d been alive. He represented big name authors. I texted a friend: “Just pray he doesn’t stuff me in the garbage can.”

“Next, Kari Patterson.”

I sat down opposite Bill Jensen, and blurted out, “I don’t know what I’m doing! I’ve never done this before.” To my surprise, he smiled.

“That’s ok … just tell me your idea.”

And I did. And to my amazement, he didn’t stuff me in the garbage can. He didn’t laugh. He didn’t mock. He actually liked it. A lot. He liked the title and the message and he affirmed what I was already doing and gave me clear, practical steps of what to do next. He was thoughtful and listened. He was kind.

I went home and wrote the 50-page book proposal the following week.

A few months later I signed with a literary agent–the same agency which represents Paul Metzger, another Writers Conference connection–and although our publisher is still pending, the book has been written and we’re close. Very close.

But none of this would be if it weren’t for the flyer on the counter, the $55, and the Scary Guy appointment.

Oh, and the lady who chit-chatted with me over coffee?

She lives with us now. 

In so many ways, the Faith & Culture Writers Conference was a godsend. There will always be a thousand reason to not. Not go. Not write. Not try. The conference may not be life-changing for you. But it might.

Give it a shot.

~

Live near Portland and love to write? Consider attending the Faith & Culture Writers Conference April 5th & 6th! More info here. And WHATEVER you love to do, whatever gifts, passions, talents God has given you, are there steps He’s leading you to take? What “Scary Guy” do you need to face in order to move courageously forward by faith? Give it a shot! Thanks for reading.

January 1, 2011, as I prayed through the New Year and asked God for His direction, I very clearly sensed Him saying to write every day. Every single day.  Up to that point I was sporadic, a post here, a post there, irregular and undisciplined, whenever I’d feel like it. Sure, I said I wanted to write a book, to use written communication to share the truth of Jesus, but I wasn’t actually doing it very much.

So He said to write every day.

And I did. And so often I’d go back and ask Him if I could do less. Write less. This everyday stuff is hard. Exhausting. But He never let me off the hook. And He’d always provide exactly the words at exactly the time. Every time.

But something this year is different. It’s been more than two years of everyday-writing. And right now God is shaking things up in my life. Messing with me. I wish I could say that I like it, but it’s kind of a yucky-feeling. Sometimes, a lot of times, selfish ambition gets mixed in there with godly ambition. Making followers of me gets mixed with making followers of Jesus. Definitions of success get mixed up. The idea of “ministry” gets a radical make-over and leaves me questioning everything.

Everything.

Like how loving a drug-addict last week, in real time, might be more important than drafting a blog post.

You think?

And then Tim Keller says this in Bible Study Magazine this month:

“[Loving God and loving your neighbor] means being sincere. People in the city have to see that you’re not just trying to increase your following … The city needs to see us loving our neighbor.”

What do I spend more time doing? Loving my neighbor (my real neighbor, the real-life, hurting, broken person sitting in front of me) or working to increase my online following in the name of loving my neighbor?

I start to feel sick to my stomach.

So I wrestle. Write less, love more. But it’s still hard. I’m part of an online world that’s always pushing forward. Always new looks. More content. More ways to grab people’s attention. And then I think of a friend of mine, another blogger. And since she’s on my mind I click her site. And you know what I find?

God told her to quit. And she obeyed. She up and quit blogging because God told her to. And all of a sudden I’m so encouraged to simply obey God, because while pride pushes, integrity inspires. And her integrity, before God and people, inspires me. I sense the storm settling into clarity.

Then, of course, yesterday Jeff sends me this quote:

“How to be insignificant: reach for your own self-defined significance.  Big-deal-ness undermines itself.  Ambition demotes.

How to be significant: forget about your big plans and obey Jesus radically in sacrificial ways that make no sense unless he himself is the reward.” Ray Ortland Jr.

I’m on the floor now.

Now, I will confess to you that in this past month, as I’ve wrestled, I’ve actually Googled (this is so embarrassing) “Optimum number of blog posts per week.”

Insert vomit here.

And of course all the experts say you should blog everyday. Of course. And then of course this morning I open my Bible and read in Joshua where they are conquering the promised land and the Gibeonites pull a prank and trick Israel into establishing a treaty with them. You remember why?

The men of Israel took of [the Gibeonite] provisions, but did not ask counsel from the LORD. (Joshua 9:14)

They looked at the evidence, but didn’t listen to the Lord. In other words, they Googled the “right” answer but didn’t ask God.

And you know what? Whey they didn’t ask counsel of the Lord the result was exhausting. They had to deal with these thorn-in-the-flesh Gibeonites forever, all because they didn’t take counsel from the Lord.

I don’t know about you. I think I’m going to listen.

So here’s the deal: It’s not headline news, but we’re shifting to a MWF schedule. I’ll still lay out my heart and share God’s Word and my messy life here in this place, but only three times a week. I believe this is obedience to God, and I’m trusting Him that less is more. 

Thank you so much for reading.

 PS Surprise! My sweet friend Sarah updated the site yesterday and I didn’t realize it’d be live today. Kind of ironic that on the day I share about doing less, the whole site is revamped. Grateful for her work. Hope you enjoy the fresh look.

• Family Night Funny-Face Competition. Hard to choose a winner …
• Mary & RJ who changed my life. Praying God changes theirs.
• Reevaluating. Over and over and over.
• Trusting.
• Believing that the yucky uneasy feeling is good. The Holy Spirit is at work.
• Leaning wholly in His sovereignty.

• Pouncing tigers jumping on the couch. Love my little blurs…
• Elisa. Such a gift in my life.
• Change by Lystra’s Silence. Grips my heart every time.
• Good anger.
• Coming alive.
• Courage.
• Friends.
• Invitations. The real kind, paper, mailed with a stamp, carrying the scent of a friend.
• Family Night. More than one this week. 🙂
• Canby Lego Store.
• Goodwill.

• Painting our bathroom cabinets white, letting the kids paint bright Picassos on the backs. I will grin every time I reach for a clean towel. 🙂
• Baking cookies with my girl.
• Hearing His voice in the little stuff.
• Call from Candi.
• Spray paint.
• Just letting it go.
• Dear, dear Janae. There aren’t words…
• Trusting.
• Bus Stop 32.
• Dark places, His light.
• Jesus.

Have a blessed weekend; thanks for reading.

It’s all about icebergs.

All this week I’ve been meditating on icebergs. 

Our spiritual life should be like an iceberg. What shows on the outside is just a tiny tip of a larger, more substantial life underneath the surface. While we may engage in public worship, prayer, speaking and ministering, the vast majority of our relationship with God takes place in the unseen places. The quiet of our hearts. The early mornings or late nights. What breaks through the surface is just a glimpse of a larger, deeper, vibrant relationship with Jesus.

But last week and weekend I just felt so top-heavy. Six months of transition. Moving. Leaving one job and friends and ministry. Church-planting. Starting over in so many ways. Lots of speaking. Writing a book. Lots of people.

As I got in the car after the retreat I felt just about to tip over. 

Thankfully, God had already put it on my heart to take this entire week “off” for the most part. Very limited email/blog/screen time. Lots of time with the kids. Lots of cleaning and house-work and beautifully mindless work that lets me muse and meditate and steep. Lots of sacred mundane, the life not the blog. 🙂

It’s been so very good. I can feel the difference in my heart. Grounded. Less top-heavy. Less tippy.

So thank you for your grace and patience this week. Do you ever feel top-heavy? A bit tippy? How is your iceberg? Perhaps this weekend might be a perfect time to unplug, unwind, and plan some strategic margin so you can avoid tipping over. (I’ve done that; it’s not fun.)

May your weekend be full of rest, peace, and lots of real-time relationships. I’m off to read a shark book to my favorite little marine biologist! Thanks for reading.