Sacred Mundane: The Blog

I just have to say it is such a joy getting to know many of you through this space. Although I know I only get tiny snippets of your life, I enjoy the snippets you let me see. Reader Lacey, who refers to herself as “Beans and Rice Lacey” in her emails because she was the one who shared the idea for the Beans and Rice party, recently shared this great story from her days of parenting Littles.  We all could use a little honey more often!  Enjoy!

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I have a confession to make: Most days I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m no expert. And no other job has humbled me or made me realize this more than motherhood. If you knew me well, you’d know that naturally I’m a free spirited, fly by the seat of my pants kinda gal (aka, I STINK at planning and organizing anything!). In motherhood this has caused me some stress, I must admit.

However, all is not lost. Thankfully, in Romans 8:26, God tells us that “the Spirit helps us in our weakness.” I am SO thankful that when we have made Christ our boss, His Holy Spirit lives within us, and we do not have to rely on our flesh or natural abilities but can actually ask God to guide and direct us.

One particular morning, God taught me this jewel. It was a typically crazy day around our house, and my children were bickering. I was getting worn pretty thin. So I prayed “God, I don’t know what to do here, would you please give me an idea?” And this is what came to me. A simplified version of Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

I brought my two oldest children into the kitchen and I brought out the honey and the vinegar. I asked them if they’d like to taste the vinegar. It was gross. Then I let them try some honey and asked them which one they liked better. Naturally, they wanted more honey. Then I told them “You will always get further using honey than vinegar.”

Next we role played what “using vinegar” looks like: “Give that back!” (they had fun role playing vinegar scenes). Finally we role played what “using honey” looks like: “I don’t like it when you take a toy out of my hand. Would you give it back please?” They got it!

This one little saying has done wonders in our home to create harmony and good communication skills. The kids know that they cannot come and tell on their sibling unless they’ve tried using honey first. Every day we have countless opportunities to practice! They are learning that they don’t enjoy being spoken to with vinegar and when they feel frustrated they are learning how to communicate in a way that doesn’t wound and gets results.

I say this phrase at least 3 times a day: “Ask for what you want and use honey”. Assertiveness training and teaching my children to get along all in one shot! Ahem, this has even been helpful in my own communication.

God is good like that, he helps us in our weaknesses, and He even gives us great ideas when we are fresh out. Praying he blesses your home today with lots of honey!

Do you have any tips or tricks that work in your house? Please share!

And thanks for reading.

I was slicing apples early Friday morning when I noticed a gift from my husband on the counter — a book (yes, we speak the same love-language). It was The Church Planting Wife, an encouraging grace-drenched volume that reads like a warm embrace. (FYI: Christine Hoover writes at gracecoversme.com and her blog-name is spot-on. She’s covered in grace, and I’m soaking up every word.) Inside the cover Jeff wrote a note, reminding me it was exactly six months ago that day we made the final decision to do this crazy church-planting venture.

I had no idea how significant the book it would be. The next day was rough, and when I opened the cover Saturday night and began to read, tears streamed down my cheeks. How does she know exactly how I feel??  

The truth is, any woman would be encouraged and strengthened by the truths in this book. We all face seasons of loneliness, fear, discouragement. We all have highs and lows. I personally think it’s foolish for ministry wives to set themselves apart as somehow separate from other women. All our struggles are the same, they just dress themselves up differently.

Ladies, I believe you all are called to ministry. To leadership. To greatness (AKA servanthood) in the Kingdom of heaven. Whether you teach standing on a platform or kneeling beside a child, you instruct others. Whether you have 1,000 “followers” (no idea what that means, by the way) or 1 follower (who has your cowlick), someone is watching your life and walking in your steps.

This is a pretty big task, and I was reminded today of Joseph. Joseph was destined to be a leader and God sovereignly prepared him for the weighty responsibility of leading a nation … by sending him trials. Earlier this morning my running-pal reminded me (as I gasped for breath up the hill) that the trials I was encountering were enabling me to better serve, love, and understand people.

Yup. I was afraid of that.

So let’s revisit briefly all that Joseph encountered as God prepared him to lead and influence others:

• Betrayal (Gen 37): Joseph first learns a little bit about human nature, the hard way. He learns about jealousy and hatred, and about the harsh reality that it takes very little for people to turn on you.  You can go from hero to hated in an alarmingly short amount of time.
• Slavery (Gen 37): Instead of killing Joseph, his brothers just sell him to a band of Midianites as a slave, who then sold him in Egypt to Potipher, an officer of Pharoah.  In a matter of moments he went from seeing himself as the up and coming ruler of all to the low and forsaken slave of all.
• Temptation (Gen 39): Since Joseph was handsome (v.6), his master’s wife went after him and sought to seduce him, even going so far as to tempt him daily, “Lie with me,” not just once but day after day.  I can only imagine that the wife of Potipher (who could have any woman he wanted) was probably a smokin’ hotty. And Joseph was young and single and the temptation was right in front of him, literally beckoning him, every single day. And yet He resisted. How? Because he rightly knew the nature of sin, that it is against God that we sin (v.9).
• Wrongfully Accused (Gen 39): What reward does Joseph get for his firm resolve and upstanding morals?  Potipher’s wife lies about him, and he is thrown in prison.  *It’s worth noting that at about this place along the journey is when I would throw in the towel.  It would seem that no matter what he does it never works out. What good is it to be faithful to God? Yes, Joseph doesn’t. Because true leaders don’t.
• Forgotten (Gen 40): By God’s power, Joseph is able to interpret the cupbearer’s and cheif baker’s dreams while they were in prison. Though the chief cupbearer promised to remember Joseph when he was released from prison.  Yet, verse 23 tells us, “Yet the chief cupbearer did not remember Joseph, but forgot him.”  After all the excitement, all the hope, all the anticipation of freedom, after all that is built up in Joseph’s mind–he is once again forgotten. For two more years nothing happens.  It would seem that hope is lost.

Psalm 105 gives a great commentary on this story.  Speaking of Joseph it says,

“[God] send a man ahead of them, Joseph who was sold as a slave.  His feet were hurt with fetters; his neck was put in a collar of iron; until what He said came to pass, the word of the LORD tested him.”  (17-19)

Until God’s prophetic word came to pass, the word of the Lord tested him.  For all of us, who know God has called us to something (we all are called to something!), are we prepared for the “training” God may have for us?  Though I loved going through seminary, it is not sitting in a classroom that prepares one for ministry–it is the opportunity to trust God in the hard times, the betrayal, the times spent in a “prison” of waiting, the feeling forgotten. We have to be chopped up before we’re useful for soup. Before we can be poured out to nourish and bless others.  The good news is that Joseph was prepared. He flourished in saving the nation of Israel because he had the wisdom, perseverance  humility, and grace, which was wrought in his life through the crucible of suffering.

What are you going through right now?  How might God be using it as training for the future beautiful works He has prepared in advance for you to do? I’m receiving this alongside you. Thanks for reading. 

“Mommy, do you think somebody will write a book about us after we’re in heaven?”

Startled, I looked up. Dutch had asked the question completely out of the blue, while stirring his bowl of soup at the dinner table. We have never talked about writing books about people after they’re in heaven, and of course if an adult asked this it would sound terribly egotistical. But out of the sweet mouth of an innocent and inquisitive child, it was honest, tender, profound.  I simply smiled and shook my head.

“I don’t think so, babe.”

I could tell he continued to think, and let me tell you — I did too.

No, our goal is not to have a book written about us. I’d venture to guess that’s not your goal either. But … doesn’t it make you think?

What WILL be the lasting impact of your family on this world?

Will you have inspired others to radical faith? To sacrificial generosity? To crazy love? To selfless service? Will you have comforted others? Taught others? Served others? Will you leave the world with a few more filled bellies? Will a few more people spend eternity with Christ because you and your family made your moments count? 

I can’t get Dutch’s sort-of-silly question out of my mind.

What will our legacy be? 

What will your legacy be?

If a book WAS written about our family what would it say?

If a book was written about your family what would it say?

If you have no idea, perhaps a great place to start is by creating a Family Mission Statement. Perhaps you remember we did this last year, but if you haven’t (or if yours can use some touching up, like ours) check it out:

Tsh outlines the process beautifully here.  Or, you can go here to use an online guide to build your statement (we used this and it was fun).  I’d really recommend you carve out some time this week, with your spouse, and pencil out a family mission statement that will set your course.  No one can live your family’s mission. Seek the mission that glorifies God through the unique giftings and callings God has given you. But do it.  (Even if you don’t have time this week, put a date on the calendar.)

I highly doubt any books will be written about the motley Patterson crew. But by His grace I pray we live out the unique way He intends for us to bring Him glory in this life. Here’s a glimpse of how we believe we are to do just that … {When you do yours, will you share a glimpse?  Thanks for reading.}

Patterson Mission Statement:

As a family we seek to glorify God by daily embodying the gospel in intentional ways: Through generosity, simplicity, faithfulness, joy, humility, grace, care, and thoughtful expressions of love.

• We will nurture our spiritual growth and love relationship with Jesus by making personal worship, prayer, and Bible times of primary importance.
• We will be careful and intentional about time commitments, guarding family evenings and date nights while inviting others freely into our lives.
• We will grow in sacrificial giving by increasing the money given away to international causes and missions while spending less on ourselves each year.
• We will take care of our bodies, souls, and spirits by staying physically fit, nourishing our bodies with real food, and carving out regular time for rest, renewal, relaxation, and recreation.
• We will seek to make every moment an opportunity to teach, shape, nurture, and inspire our children to be Christ-followers. We will seek to make the gospel attractive by living in grace, joy, and freedom. We will seek to instruct and shape their hearts rather than merely modify their behavior. We will seek to motivate them by love and grace rather than pride and fear. We will praise their obedience, humility, generosity, godly ambition and courage.
• We will measure “success” by whether our and our children’s hearts are being increasingly conformed to the image of Christ.

• THIS! This is how I felt all week! It was sunny and warm and the kids played outside and we turned our faces to heaven and soaked up the vitamin D. Thank you, Lord, for sunshine!
• Heidi receiving a box in the mail from her cousin — with hand-me-down ballet clothes, tap shoes, and a real tutu! She wore them everywhere (yes, outside in the mud!). I love my girl in her furry boots and ballet get-up, sprinting through the mud shouting, “I’m a puma! I’m a puma!”  Oh this girl has my heart.
• Finishing a couple big projects and having time at HOME to just sort and clean and organize and play and oh I really do love me some good domestic duties. 🙂
• Lentil soup. So much of it!
• When healthy=yummy.
• Good friends over.
• Salted caramel homemade ice cream. What on earth?!!! So good.
• Sunshine.
• Things lined up neatly … for now.
• Hide and go seek.
• Sunshine (have I mentioned this yet???)
• Falling in love with avocados. (I know, they’re not local. Don’t judge!)
• Meeting awesome sisters at the Faithfully Frugal workshop.
• Moving forward.
• Hearing.
• Listening.
• Trying to learn.
• Breaking and being put back together.
• Sunshine!
• Day at Riversong.
• Sunshine.

Now, gotta go back out in that sunshine! Have a glorious weekend; thanks for reading.