When everything comes crashing down around you
I heard the thunderous crash and Heidi’s blood-curdling scream and ran into the kid’s room.
The large, wooden dresser had fallen on top of my tiny girl.
I pushed up the dresser, gathered her into my arms and ran into the living room. As I listened to her cries, encouraged that she was coherent, I could make out the words, “I was trying to put on my swimsuit.”
My sweet girl had been trying to be brave.
See, “Try new things” is not exactly on my kids’ list of favorite things to do. They would both be content staying home, all day, every day, and playing Legos or reading books or doing our normal routine. This works well since I’m a homebody too, but every once in awhile we’ve got to push these babes to risk … just a little.
Insert swim lessons.
I had found a class for 3-5 year-olds, so they could be together. I told them they could hold hands, that I’d be nearby, that no one would dunk them under or throw them in the deep end. Still, they both cried. We counted down the days until we began, and the morning of I was so blessed to see them make a valiant effort at bravery. My 5-year-old son started repeating to himself, “This is going to be fun. It’ll feel like playing!” (I’m all for self-talk!) and my little daughter announced she would get ready all by herself.
So she, wanting to be brave, wanted to get her swim-suit for class. But it was in the top drawer, so she opened the bottom drawers and climbed up the front. Yes, you can guess what happened next. By God’s amazing and miraculous mercy, my son’s bed broke the fall (hooray for tiny shared bedrooms where there isn’t even enough room for a dresser to fall flat on the floor!) and so it pinned her head against the bed, the dresser drawers against her face and her body hanging down off the bed.
It looked worse than it was. I expected her teeth to be through her face. I expected blood everywhere. But because of the soft bed, she didn’t have a single scratch. After she quit crying a slightly puffy lip was the only real damage we could find.
Praise God.
She was still a little shaken when it was time to brave the pool waters, but she quickly conquered her fear and had an awesome time. Swim lessons ended up being one of the greatest experiences of my kids lives so far. It was such a significant victory and made them so much braver ever since.
I couldn’t help but see the parallel in my own life.
The enemy does not want us to be brave. He wants to keep us living ever-cautious, ever-safe, never risking, never trying new things. When we do make a choice to branch out in faith, he will do whatever he can to intimidate us, scare us, fill us with fear, whatever he can do to keep us from bravely moving out in faith.
He will drop dressers on us. He will drop bombs of discouragement and depression. He will bring unexpected conflict, confusion. He will toss heaviness our way, misgivings and misfortune. But the amazing part?
We will walk away unscathed.
You’ve probably heard it said, Satan is de-clawed. He can try to scare us, intimidate us, and fill us with fear, but he cannot truly harm us. And no matter what may befall us …
We will not be shaken.
As my daughter shook off her scary incident and persevered in her swim lesson-adventure, I knew God was telling us to to persevere in faith, be brave, risk, and refuse to let the enemy intimidate in order to keep us cowering.
What are you attempting to do today? Where are you trusting God? Stepping out in faith? Risking? Being brave? Can you see where the enemy would love to intimidate you? Scare you? Use fear tactics to keep you cowering? How can you choose to trust God and not be shaken today? Can I offer an idea: Read Psalm 91 right here. This just “happened” to be my Bible reading the morning that this happened. Praying bravery and courage for you today; thanks for reading!
A Simple 4-Step Plan for Family Devotions
Sometimes “Family Devotions” can feel daunting. Perhaps we, as women, have the idea that the man is supposed to be the “spiritual leader”, the head of the household, so we sit around and wait for him to do some grand “spiritual leading” (and put a great deal of pressure on him about it) but he’s not sure what to do, so we feel grumpy about it, and he feels grumpy about it because we’re grumpy about it, and we’re all not sure what this family devotion stuff is supposed to be about, because it sounds like a really big deal.
And it is a big deal … just not in the way that we think.
Perhaps we envision pulling out the giant family Bible and everyone sitting solemnly around the table with folded hands, gently nodding at the sacred words, then praying eloquent prayers in hushed voices. So when we try that and put tons of pressure on ourselves, then little Johnny accidentally farts during prayer time and starts laughing and little Jenny pees her pants during scripture reading and starts crying hysterically, we throw our hands in the air and quit.
Family devotions can be simple and easy. We really can relax about how it looks and whether we’re “doing it right.” The hard part is just doing it. There are lots of fun ways, but here is our daily routine for morning devotions. And just so you know, sometimes Jeff is with us and sometimes he’s not. It’s unreasonable to put all the pressure of “leading” everyday on their shoulders. Talk through this together, and decide what simple things you can do each day to lead your kids to Jesus, together. Here are some ideas for a simple 4-part daily devotional routine. Read–Memorize–Pray–Live
KNOWING GOD THROUGH HIS STORY
Learning about God’s character is a lifelong pursuit. Everyone, of all ages, whether three, thirty-three, or ninety-three, can meditate and discuss our Father’s character and attributes as they come to us in Scripture. Take a passage, a narrative/story in particular (great kids’ Bibles and resources here), and consider general questions such as:
- What does this Bible story reveal about who God is? (His character)
- What actions in the story do we see by God’s people? Are these actions godly or selfish? (Godly traits are those such as generosity, courage, wisdom, faithfulness, and humility, while selfish traits usually center around pride, greed, and are played out in the ways of foolishness.)
- In light of who God is, and what He has done for us, as seen in this story, what godly response does He want from us today? (Think about what your kids, and you, are facing in daily life, and connect the dots.)
These questions, and others like them, are the building blocks of all meaningful Bible study. Revise the wording if needed for your kids. Resist the urge to supply all the correct answers from the outset, and invite everyone to the joy of discovering who God is, what He has done for us, and how He desires for us to respond to His grace.
TAKING HIS WORDS TO HEART: Scripture Memorization
Within the Scripture story there usually is a verse that leaps off the page. Think of a way to summarize it in a rhythmic way. Examples:
- “Be strong and brave. Do not be afraid.” —Deuteronomy 31:6
- Or, “Be strong and brave, be sure to obey. Don’t turn to the left, don’t turn to the right, that you may have success.” —Joshua 1:7
(Click reference links above and see what the “adult” wording would be, and note how they’ve been shortened or revised for kids’ minds and hearts.)
An idea: use hand motions, or make the verse sound like a song. Some fun and easy kid’s verses to memorize are Letter Lessons.
PRAYING TOGETHER
After reading Scripture and pulling out the key concepts and lessons, turn this into a prayer to God. None of us can change on our own, and it’s great to model for our kids that we need God’s Spirit and power to change us from the inside out. You might say, “Let’s pray: ‘Dada God, please help me to be brave and obey Mommy when it’s time for bed.’” Just something simple. You’re probably already doing these things, but try to link the prayer to something you’ve read in scripture.
This models for our kids how to intake and apply scripture right away. Ask your kids what they feel scared about, nervous, happy. Spend time talking to God about whatever they are feeling. Encourage them often whenever they take steps in prayer!
LIVE IT OUT
Finally, take some action step as a result of your time in the Word and prayer. Be “doers” of the Word right away. Give your kids some “practice” being brave, or obeying right away, or act out what they might do if they are in a difficult situation. Just think of something fun you can DO right away to practice whatever you just learned.
Finish your time with a special treat, or snuggle and wrestling time, or whatever your kids love most. Be all there. Connect family JOY and family fun with family worship.
- For more on good resources, such as choosing a family Bible and more, see Renewal: leading our families in the Gospel.
{Why not put some gospel-habits into practice right away, this week? What are your favorite family devotional activities? Please share and thanks for reading!}
Week's end with thanks
- Flourishing with the ladies of OCCC. So grateful for their warmth and receptivity! So grateful for God’s grace and power moving in our lives!
- Blessed, blessed, blessed afternoon and evening with Seifers.
- Training.
- Learning.
- Wrestling.
- Growing.
- Asking questions.
- Searching His Word.
- Kids visiting me at the retreat, on the playground. Dutch: “This is the best time of my whole life!” Precious.
- Heidi learning to skip. (Daddy so proud.)
- An afternoon nap.
- That God is greater.
- Prayers from dear friends.
- Those morning runs with Dani.
- Zucchini cookies!
- Candi.
- Plums, plums, plums.
- Camping.
- Unplugging.
- Holding precious baby Reagan Hunter!!!
- Meeting the Porters.
- Late-night around the fire.
- A long drive to talk.
- Venti starbucks.
- Dried apples. (Three cheers for Debra’s dehydrator!)
- Everyone pitching in.
- Pots of soup.
- Heidi saying, “Por favor?” Just so stinkin’ cute.
- More plums.
- Sleeping outside.
- That He just loves me so much and resting in that.
GIVE: Yourself.
“Jesus said, ‘When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind.'” (Luke 14:12-13)
~
“The most terrible poverty is loneliness.”
—Mother Teresa
Here is our (my) tendency: We want to give. We want to support good causes. We want to feel good about giving. But we also want “the good life” and we want to climb the social ladder and keep company with those who have the most desirable qualities—the educated, those with great personalities, those who live like us. We want our children to go to the best schools. We want to live in the nice neighborhood.
Or, if I want to be really embarrassingly honest: We want to give to the poor but we don’t want to look like them or dress like them.
We want to make sure the lines and distinctions are clear:
We’re helping them, we’re not one of them.
Ouch. Anybody else?
Jeff and I have been slowly wrestling through this. We live in a culture where social status is huge—it’s very popular to give to charitable causes, but it’s also very popular to be popular.
Here’s the thing: this week we discussed how the best place we can spend our American dollars is on giving overseas, to actually saving lives, alleviating absolute poverty, and spreading God’s word to corners of the globe that have never heard the truth. But what about here? How can we bless the poor here?
By inviting them to dinner.
By living by them. By being with them. By hanging out with them. In Total Church, a mother in the UK described her experience of poverty like this:
“In part it is about having no money, but there is more to poverty than that. It is about being isolated, unsupported, uneducated, and unwanted. Poor people want to be included, not just judged and ‘rescued’ at times of crisis.” (79)
As long as we are concerned with maintaining distinctions and lines of social status, we will never truly love the poor. We might give a lot of money away. We might become great advocates for them. But as long as we think of ourselves as separate from them, we will never truly identify with them in such a way that they are included, welcomed, embraced.
In order to give our money away, we need to grow in humility. We must recognize that we are not the most important people on the planet, and that others are actually worth us giving our resources.
But the next step of growing in humility is being willing to not just help them, but include them, invite them over.
Become one of them.
Isn’t that what Jesus did for us? Jesus could have easily sent down a “rescue mission” from heaven but remained separate from us. He could have done some cosmic substitution and taken away our sin by revealing Himself in some spiritual form and having us believe in Him in that way.
But He didn’t.
Jesus moved into our neighborhood. He became poor. He gave away all His status, glory, rights, privileges, preferences, in order to live as the poorest person, to become one of us. He humbled Himself beyond what we could even imagine. The God of the universe becoming a eating, drinking, sweating man with regular bodily functions, desires, weaknesses. He blended in. He didn’t walk around like a hero, wearing a crown and stooping down only long enough to give us a hand-out. He moved into our neighborhood and became one of us.
Perhaps, then, we could go without the latest style of clothes or live in a less desirable neighborhood?
Perhaps in order to maximize the effectiveness of ALL our resources (time, finances) it makes sense to give the priority of our finances to those in absolute poverty overseas or those who have never heard the gospel, while giving the priority of our relationships to the poor right here in our cities.
Again, it’s great if you can go befriend people in Asia, or if you give money to local causes. But for ordinary Mr. & Mrs. Jones who are just trying to make best use of their limited resources, consider giving more money overseas and giving more time to the actual people who live in our cities and communities. Invite them to dinner. Re-read Jesus’ words at the top of this page and Mother Teresa’s words and ask Him what that means for you …
{Thank you for traveling this road with me, learning and growing. We still have so far to go, but grateful to God for His patience. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the ideas presented this week… Will you share? Thanks so much for sharing. Have a great weekend.}