"How do you do it all?" (1)
“How do you do it all?”
Apparently I wasn’t the only one with this question in my mind. The well-known speaker and author was live, taking questions from women in the audience on spiritual-life. But interestingly, by far the most common question had nothing to do with “spiritual” life at all. It was this, the echo of my own heart:
“How do you do it all? Raise kids, keep house, be a wife, write books, travel, speak?”
I leaned forward in my chair. What would she say? I must admit I was weary myself. While not even in the same realm as this popular speaker, I was in the midst of a full schedule, attempting to write a book, keep up a blog, move households, and be a wife-mom-friend-daughter-neighbor-disciple-ah! Yes, Mrs. Mom-Wife-Author-Blogger-Speaker, pray tell: How do you do it all?”
Can I just be terribly honest? I felt a little disappointed at the answer. She said something about finding that quiet space in her own heart so that she could be still amidst the chaos and hear from God, in order to write.
Not knocking this. I totally agree. Quieting our hearts to hear from God–yes. But perhaps I wasn’t the only one who wanted to know really, no, really, how on earth do you find the minutes in the day to actually, physically do those things?
You know what I mean?
Another honest confession: I actually cried right after that. I really wanted a fellow mom-writer to share how she really does it. Like, um, who is watching your kids while you’re on TV? You know, those kind of questions. Does she have a housekeeper? Does her mom help her? During what time of day does she write? Would you, just for a moment, open up the windows of your house and let me have a peek at the nitty-gritty?
Hence this post. Now please understand: For goodness sake I’m not saying that I’m some big author-speaker-lady. I have a teeny tiny blog and am struggling to string words together into a book. You who know me well are not impressed. But at least five times this past week I’ve heard, “I don’t know how you do it all…” And because whether we’re writers or volunteers or full-time career-women or full-time moms, we’re all attempting to “do it all” in some capacity. So let’s talk about this. Two things:
1. Beware the comparison-trap. Oh, oh friends — aren’t we so tempted to compare? The truth is we’re all doing a lot. Some of us work more, some have special needs children (I think I qualify, Dutch is quite a character!), some of us homeschool, some of us spend hours quietly counseling others, some volunteer at their children’s schools, some knit shawls by the dozen for the sick and needy, some devote much time to housework because we know it blesses our husbands, some make meals to take to others — we’re all “doing it all” in some capacity, it’s just that some things are more visible than others. We’re each simply responsible for the “good works prepared advance that we should in walk in.” (Eph 2:10) Our own specially-prepared works. That’s all we need attempt.
That said, it can be helpful to share the ways we “do all” we’re supposed to in our own life. Practical things. I personally found it hugely helpful when Angela Davis wrote about her laundry routine on FrugalLivingNW (and shared that she pays someone $5/week to run her loads!). So, take it or leave it, tomorrow I’ll share my own personal “do it all” thoughts. Whether you’re trying to blog or volunteer or make time to read your Bible, perhaps this can help.
{And please, consider sharing with us your own helpful “do it all” tips. I’d love to glean wisdom from the nitty-gritty in your life! I’ll see you tomorrow … thanks for reading.}
Stoked, Poked, and Irritated
There’s nothing wrong with the words, it’s just the way she says them. Write those words out in pen and ink and they’d look just fine. But why spoken into the air do they feel like little jabs? I can’t put my finger on it, but somewhere in my heart there’s a bee sting. I can feel it.
I come in out of the cold, kick off my boots and check the fire. It’s still lit but it’s cooled. I can see glowing embers down below, but the logs lay heavy on top and not much heat is coming out.
I grab the poker and remove the screen. This is my favorite part of wood-stove heat. Stoking the fire. I wield my poker and shove it deep under the logs, flip them over and poke around at the glowing embers beneath. Instantly heat rushes out, envelopes me in warmth. It’s so hot I have to put the poker down, replace the screen and sit back a bit. I lean against my old quilted pillows, close my eyes, remember these words:
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. (Hebrews 10:24)
Of course.
Pastor Jon had just told us. We know this verse, know we’re called to spur one another on, but do we understand what it means to spur?
That word, translated “spur” is paroxusmos which literally means “to irritate.” Consider: How do you spur on a horse? By nudging it with your spurs! That is, applying just enough pressure, or irritation, to get its attention and make it move.
Isn’t this how I’d just stoked the fire? By poking it. By digging, jabbing that poker down into the embers, flipping over the logs, stirring it up a bit with some strategic irritation.
Every day I partake in my beloved stoking ritual. I poke and prod and stir up warmth to keep our house heated.
To keep the fire burning.
Aren’t we supposed to do the same for each other? And truly, isn’t that what this person had done for me? I’d felt a little unnerved, a little irritated. And didn’t this stir me up a bit? Didn’t it flip over my log and expose the underside that desperately needed attention? Didn’t it turn a cold side over and let it find flame? White-hot purifying flame that burns the impurities away?
It did just that.
The problem is that I thought I loved that verse. But I don’t like the poking part. At least not in real life. Poking on the page is just fine — but poking in person? No thank you.
But if that’s the case then I don’t really love that verse. Then I don’t really understand that verse or obey that verse.
True Christian fellowship always involves irritation.
Our lives are purified by people-pokes. Dozens of them. Isn’t it the loving hand of the Father who wields the poker? And hasn’t He ordained that we would live, grow, be sanctified in community?
But all this poking is not what we had in mind when we signed up for “community” is it? In the words of Dietrich Bonhoeffer,
“He who loves his dream of community more than the Christian community itself becomes a destroyer of the latter, even though his personal intentions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial.”
Let’s be honest: Our dream Christian community don’t involve stokes, pokes, and irritations.
But real Christian community does. In fact, biblical Christian community does. Sure, some pokes are the result of other’s sin. But some are the sanctified spurs — one saint to another.
Do we want to be spurred? I do.
I don’t like the feel but I love the fruit.
—
{Who has irritated you lately? How might this have been the gentle prodding of a loving Father? How can you be spurred on toward love because of it? Perhaps I’ve irritated you? Thanks for reading, for grace, and for sanctified spurs — one saint to another.}
Week's end with thanks
- Candles lit.
- A truly relaxing Thanksgiving break. In Jeff’s words, the best part: “We were never once in a hurry.” Amen to that. Vacation-time is never very restful with small children, but to not be in a hurry — bliss!
- Fingerprints everywhere. Evidence of my two little miracles.
- Kids playing in the bottom limbs of the Christmas tree.
- How we’re all drawn to that corner. To light.
- Precious friends back in town.
- Quiet.
- Puffer vest and fleece-lined boots.
- Dutch & Heidi part of tear-down crew at church.
- $2 inflatable light-saber at Target. Feel like I should write a thank-you note to whoever invented that thing!
- Choosing to bless my boy — both pirate and Star Wars paper plates/cups for his birthday.
- Understanding how much my Father loves to bless me.
- Understanding how much my dear husband loves to bless me.
- Freely receiving.
- Freely giving — (or at least getting there!)
- Stoking the fire.
- Great Christmas music floating through the house.
- Turkey stock from generous friend!
- Simple meals.
- Reading a book together, each night, with my man. A favorite new tradition!
- Being challenged.
- New light cast on the Bride of Christ.
- My sweet boy reading so well!
- Early morning snuggles — all four in our bed.
- Her sweaty curls pressed onto her cheeks.
- Crawling in as she wakes, pulling her into my arms, inhaling her sweetness. Wanting to remember these moments forever.
- Family night!
- New Lego set. Daddy assembling everything — he, enjoying it every bit as much as the kids.
- Roaring fire warmth.
- Sunny afternoon, walk along the lane with light saber, searching for star wars Storm Troopers.
- Heidi calling out, “‘torm toopers!”
- Lentil soup for dinner.
- Glowing coals.
- Little boy sleeping in.
- Waking up, slow realization … Yes! It’s Friday … Jeff’s home!
- House aglow: lamps, fire, Christmas tree lights.
- Opening Christmas cards. Seeing faces we love.
- Coming home cold from chopping the tree.
- Little hands holding hot cocoa.
- Milk mustaches.
- Visit from aunty Debra. Greeted at the steps with Light Saber and Cutlass.
- Dora undies peeking out the top of Heidi’s pants.
- Her stray curls fallen, framing her face.
- Kissing her little lips a hundred times a day.
- Our morning ritual: “Mama, pease snuggle me by the fah?” (fire)
- Heidi watching me work on my laptop, wanting her own: “Someday can you get me a ‘pooter has some buttons on it?”
- Her putting rubber bands around my toes while I work.
- Warming boots by the fire.
- A friend’s house-warming party and prayer with people we love.
- Stockings hung behind the wood stove.
- Kids making special little crafts, kept a “secret”, and tucked into our stockings.
- Origami advent calendar. It was so fun and easy, I might become a folding fanatic!
- Reading with my man.
- Our nighttime ritual: reading a scrabble on the ipad.
- My lucky 203-point word.
- Dutch & Cody’s hilarious leaf-war in the front yard. Little boys …
- Muddy head to toe. Isn’t childhood wonderful!
- Walk to the miniature donkeys. Crosses on their backs.
- Heidi “reading” the Jonah story: “It’s a GIANT fish. It’s a mommy fish.”
- Laundry done.
- New facewash.
- The feel of clean.
- Doing this thanks-list daily instead of just at the end of the week. Helps so much to daily pause and remember His gifts!
- That He hears.
- Considering the lilies …
- Knowing we need not be anxious.
- Knowing He cares.
- Snuggled down secure in His love.
F is for Folding {Coolest Homemade Advent Calendar!}
Any other Advent Delinquents out there? Yes, yesterday was December first and we should have been all prepared by then, but please tell me someone else out there got up yesterday morning, looked at the calendar, and thought, Oops! Should have figured it out by now!
I wanted to do the Jesse Tree devotional, but I also wanted some sort of Advent calendar with little pockets so I could tuck little fun activities into each day. However, it was December 1st, I didn’t want to go shopping or spend any money, and, let me make this clear:
I am not crafty.
Hmm… no materials on hand and I’m not crafty. Not sure how an advent calendar can materialize out of nothing. Then this! At 3:45pm, I found this Origami advent calendar online and at 4:29pm it was finished! That’s right, under 45 minutes start to finish. Plus, I didn’t have any festive scrapbook paper, but even with just ho-hum paper it still turned out great! 
Supplies: 3 pieces of scrapbook paper and some glue. That’s it!
All the instructions are here. (I used a hot-glue gun to make it go fast with no dry-time.) This is a truly fun and truly easy way to make an advent calendar. Now, we can do our Jesse Tree devotional, and each day flip down the day’s tab and pull out the fun activity for the day. If you too are an Advent Delinquent, start today and get going on your fun Advent activities!
Happy Folding!
{And Happy Friday! Thanks for reading.}





