Week's end with thanks
- Packing and playing, playing and packing. Whenever I unearthed something to pack the kids exclaimed, “There’s my favorite toy! Can I play with it?!” This makes for a fun, if not fast, packing process. (Can you see the famed Buzz Lightyear in the picture?)
- Kids playing Bingo together, on their own.
- The — surprise! — news that we’re moving in less than a week (found that out last weekend). The quick-timing piece was perfect because it made us think outside the box, and pray outside the box. Thank you, Lord!
- Laughing that it turns out our move-day is exactly, to the day, one year from when we put our house on the market. God’s timing is always perfect, amen?
- Signing.
- Visit to our new house, “the farm” where we’ll raise nothing but kids and pray for crops of joy, rest, and peace. Although Dutch is convinced that chickens and cows are in our future. We’ll see…
- Date-night to Ikea with my man. Gotta love the Billy Bookshelves for $49.99.
- The gift of a popcorn popper from our missionary friends! It can’t go to Indonesia so we’re the lucky recipients.
- Popcorn.
- Popcorn.
- Popcorn.
- Sorry… we’re really enjoying this popper! My favorite part is how the kids crowd around, like little hungry sharks, hands digging into the bowl, happy crunching. New favorite snack.
- Twenty pound box of local nectarines, devoured.
- Twenty pound box of local pears, devoured.
- All that food makes kids grow! Yikes, all Dutch’s pants headed to the goodwill. Thankful for the abundant resources we have, that we can buy more.
- A thousand conveniences I take for granted so often.
- Garbage service.
- Hot water for showers, baths, dishes.
- Indian summer breeze blowing through open windows.
- Glass of water by the bed.
- Shampoo that smells so good.
- Combing Heidi’s hair. I’m 5-years-old again with the most beautiful doll in the world.
- Tickles.
- These pictures. How can I not share them with the world?
- Friends who are gracious.
- Doing life together.
- Little buddies.
- Cheering for each other.
- Justification.
- Resting solely on the finished work of Jesus Christ.
- His grace.
- His love.
- His work.
- Receiving.
- So many who generously offered to come help us pack, clean, bring meals, help with kids. Grace upon grace.
- Trusting there’s good purpose in my poor mama’s broken ankle. Thankful for an amazing dad who cares for her so sacrificially.
- Puppy kisses.
- A little midnight intruder snuggling between us in bed. Happy to let him stay.
- Family date night.
- Ice cream mustaches and sticky little fingers.
- Sorting through it to find what is true.
- Holding fast to it.
- Wrestling.
- Submitting.
- Clarity.
- Peace.
F is for Forgiveness {The missing piece}
Her eyes filled up with tears as she confessed what we’ve all probably felt at some point: “Why am I still struggling with forgiveness? I try and try to forgive and I just can’t.”
Do we ever have this forgiveness thing mastered?
I think as long as we walk this broken earth and carry these broken hearts we’ll need to relearn these lessons again and again, but, as with everything, the key to learning forgiveness lies in the gospel, grace, and gratitude.
Consider for a moment Jesus’ parable in Matthew 18, the unforgiving servant:
“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold[h] was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
He was forgiven a LOT. What a gift! Freed from debt! Forgiven! Set free! So what does the forgiven man do?
28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.[i] He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
This is not only a tragic story, but also a terrifying story. Not sure if you read verse 35. God takes forgiveness very seriously. I’ve always thought about how the man who has been forgiven much should go ahead and forgive the smaller debt of his fellow man, just as we should forgive our fellow men. But this time reading through this story something else struck me. Not what’s there, but what’s not there.
What’s missing between verse 27 and verse 28?
A thank you note.
Gratitude.
After the servant was forgiven this huge sum of money, it says he went right out and found his fellow man who owed him money. Says nothing of thanking his master for the AMAZING grace he’d been shown.
He didn’t stop and thank. He didn’t practice gratitude, stopping long enough to consider what a gift he’d been given.
In the absence of gratitude, entitlement creeps in, pride’s cousin that grabs by the throat and demands we’re paid our due. That we’re given what we deserve.
Stupidly forgetting that what we’re really due is a debt beyond comprehension. That what we really deserve is eternal condemnation. But the answer isn’t in just sitting around all day and thinking about how we deserve to be damned, the answer is in falling to our knees in daily gratitude, reminding ourselves each moment to be thankful always (1 Thess 5:18).
We cannot be thankful and unforgiving at the same time. What the unforgiving servant forgot was to stop and thank.
When we receive each morning, a grace-gift, we do well to stop, kneel, thank God for His forgiveness. Then thank Him for every manifestation of grace you encounter throughout the day. Forgiveness comes naturally to the thankful heart. Read verse 35 again. We desperately need to grow in the grace of forgiveness, amen?
{Let’s begin by practicing gratitude today. Thank you for reading.}
Buzz Lightyear shops for a house
With the lessons of Buzz Lightyear impressed on my heart, we continued the house search through the weekend. Our house-related core values were, for the sake of our family and God’s kingdom:
- Near the church (Jeff loves to ride his bike whenever he can and we love being available for people and near the core-community of WCC)
- Property (More and more we found ourselves craving country, space, some room to breathe and run and let the kids dig in the dirt and make a big mess without the Homeowner’s Association putting a notice on our door)
- Special space for guests (We love having guests, and wanted a place they could come, stay, and not feel like they were intruding or displacing us. A real treat would be somewhat private/special quarters in case someone needed to live with us for an extended time.)
- Big open living area for family get togethers, holidays, ministry meetings, showers, gatherings, etc.
Our first find: A rental house (pictured above) that is, shall we say, lacking aesthetic appeal (some might employ the word ugly), but only 1 mile from the church, on a beautiful 2.5 acre farm property, with a separate in-law quarters downstairs for guests, and a big open living room area. It would require the kids to share a room, and of course there was that whole thing about it being, by some standards, ugly, but it was affordable rent and met all of our core values.
I admit, I struggled with the idea of renting. After owning our own homes for eightyears, we were going back into renting again? Isn’t it so much wiser to buy?
Then we found: A foreclosure house going up for auction. We could likely get it for more than $200,000 below the tax-assessed value. GREAT deal! And, it was 4,600 s.f.! Can you imagine? I can’t even fathom a house that big! What a deal! It was also near the church, didn’t have land but it was on a nice wooded lot, and didn’t have separate quarters for guests but with a house that big you could have a whole army stay with you! It was almost 3 times as big as the rental house AND we could own it. Yes, our monthly payment would be way higher than the rent would be … but we’d be getting so much more and we’d own it! Such a good deal!
I lie in bed Friday night and can’t sleep. Houses and numbers and scenarios spin in my mind. My own logic is clear: Go for the deal. Pay the higher price and OWN the great big house — way better deal than renting!
Heidi begins to fuss, cries, asks for water. I roll out of bed and get her sippy cup. As I climb back into bed I bump into Buzz, on the floor, and kick a button with my foot:
“I’m a space ranger!” He announces into the darkness.
Oh yes: Buzz.
Buzz’s questions come back to mind:
What did you ask for?
A house with acreage, near the church, with a special space for guests and a big living room for hospitality.
Which choice costs less?
Renting, by far.
Which will be the simplest to take care of, giving you freedom to live simply and frugally?
The rental house.
The answer opposes my flesh. I want to own. I’ve disdained the rent-fire all my days. But I learned my sacred mundane lesson from Buzz and Craigslist and the still small voice and I know nothing’s stupider than ignoring that voice.
Jeff and I talk. He asks me to fill out the rental application. I follow my man’s lead.
Then I crunch numbers for hours. I research my brains out because that’s how I’m wired, and to my surprise I realize that by renting we can actually save up more towards owning than we would by buying now. And we have more freedom to be generous.
Maybe when the space ranger gig is up Buzz could get a job as a financial planner?
Just kidding. Friends, I don’t know the future. And our primary objective in this life is not to get ahead financially. We may rent for 2 months or twenty years … I don’t know. But I do know that our gracious God has once again done exactly what He’s promised to do:
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:5
Even through the most sacred mundane places, even through the mouth of Buzz Lightyear. {We move 10/7 & 10/8 — want to help? 🙂 Thanks, as always, for reading.}
Wisdom from Buzz Lightyear
God speaking to us through Buzz Lightyear? I guess if God could speak through a donkey, He can use a toy as well?
For months, like every other little boy in America, Dutch has been fascinated by Buzz Lightyear. Then, a few weeks ago, my parents rented Toy Story 2 (which he’d never seen) and that pushed him over the edge: Could he please get a Buzz Lightyear toy sometime? He waited and waited and finally last week I told him that he had 2 choices: 1) He could wait for his birthday at the end of the year or 2) he could sell something that he already had and use the money to buy Buzz himself. Following in his papa’s footsteps, Dutch decided to wheel and deal and get the toy himself. The train table would go. We took a picture together, posted it on Craigslist together, and had it sold for $50 within a few hours. Now I knew that Buzz Lightyear was $40 new, but I also figured this was a perfect opportunity to teach Dutch about bargain shopping. So we shopped Craiglist. We found two listings: a single Buzz Lightyear toy (what Dutch had specifically asked for) for $5 or a whole LOT of Toy Story toys (which included Buzz Lightyear) for $15. I emailed both to see if they were available.
Both emailed back within the hour and said they were. Now we had a choice. We could get the toy we’d set out for for $5 or we could get lots more stuff for $15.
Of course you know me, right? Get the deal! Get more! 1 item for $5 or 10 items for $15? I quickly reasoned that not only was getting more a way better deal, but that also meant that the kids wouldn’t fight over Buzz. If I got way more toys they wouldn’t have to share Buzz but they could each have several toys — no fighting! This was a good deal.
I began responding to the woman with the lot of toys that we’d love to come get them. But something nagged me. Just a sense, a strange sense: Get the single toy. What? That’s so not the best deal! More nagging, inner dialogue:
What did Dutch ask for?
A single Buzz.
Which choice costs less?
The single Buzz.
Which will be the simplest to take care of and not cause the headache of sorting and storing more toys?
The single Buzz.
But the LOT is a way better great deal!
Isn’t that such an American way to think? The Costco-sized bag of chocolate chips is a way better deal so I have to buy that one! Never mind the fact that the Costco-sized chocolate chips give us Costco-sized thighs.
Anyway…
I didn’t listen to reason, but went ahead and sprung for the “deal” — the lot. We then drove to the meeting spot, and it’s a long story but the whole ordeal took us close to an hour. Then when we finally met the woman she said, “Oh didn’t you get my email back? I told you that I already sold the toys.”
Dutch’s face fell.
I didn’t punch her.
Now I was on the other side of town, stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic, without email and no way to contact the other woman to see if the single Buzz was still available. By now I’d repented to God (you think I’m silly but I really think the Holy Spirit was prompting that inner dialogue earlier!), and Dutch and I simply decided to pray that if it was God’s will that He would let us get through traffic and provide the toy for Dutch. We prayed.
The right lane opened and my phone rang.
Jeff had saved the day by accessing my email and asking the Buzz lady to call me. And, within twenty minutes we’d met this delightful woman and for just $5 Dutch’s dream toy was in his hands. And, to my amazement, my children shared this toy happily the entire day.
My earlier erroneous reasoning hit me: One of my highest goals for my children is that they learn to share — then why would I spend extra money so that they wouldn’t have to learn this most important habit?
Yes, this is “just” Buzz Lightyear, but isn’t this a tiny picture of life? I want simple, I want uncluttered, I want my kids to share, I want to live frugally so that we have plenty to give away. And yet that temptation is always there to get more, get “the deal.”
Since when is spending $15 a better deal than spending $5?
We have funny logic sometimes, don’t we?
Further, when we have all that more stuff (that was such a good deal!) we have to store the stuff, clean the stuff, sort the stuff, pick up the stuff, and then someday toss out the stuff.
How is that a good deal?
The amazing thing was that after they were so good about sharing the toy that day the very next morning, a neighbor gave Heidi her own Buzz Lightyear toy, for free! What?! We came out of the deal with $45 in our pocket, a special toy for each child, and a lesson in my heart that I will never forget. Thank you, Father.
The fun part is that this lesson came smack dab in the middle of house-decision time. Whether it’s $5 or $500,000 the principles are worth considering. The most important principle being: Listen to that still small voice. God always has our best in mind.
I can’t wait to share how this applies to us. More to come … {And thanks for reading!}