A Sunday blessing
As we turn the corner from disappointment to fulfillment, from expectations to expectancy, this blessing seems appropriate. Given to Henri Nouwen by his spiritual mentor …
May all your expectations
be frustrated.
May all your plans be thwarted.
May all of your desires
be withered into nothingness.
That you may experience the powerlessness and
poverty of a child and sing and dance
in the love of God the Father,
the Son and the Spirit.
Praying for you today, to sing and dance in the love of God…
Week's end with thanks
- Afternoon on back deck, kids splashing in sprinkler, mommy laughing, watching, sneaking a few pages of reading in here and there.
- Day of tilling, hoeing, raking. Sweat and sunshine, ice water and ice cream.
- Eighty-four degrees!
- A hint of sunburn.
- Sunday morning worship with my WCC fam.
- Kids bursting through church doors and running free in the field. I remember that feeling.
- Coffee.
- Walk to the park, perfectly timed to include neighbor-friend.
- Arrival at park — surprise! — house showing in less than an hour. In a bind. Friends come through. Watch kids at part for me, lend me a car to zip home and clean the house. Forty-five sweaty minutes later house is ready, back with kids. So thankful for grace.
- NOT getting pulled over by the police officer who followed oh-so-close as I was racing home in my friend’s car, without a license. Haven’t prayed that hard in a long time.
- Visit with new friend.
- Visit with old friend.
- Answers to prayer in tangible ways.
- Little boy running around in Lightening McQueen underwear.
- Afternoon sunshine.
- Hum of dryer.
- Scent of eucalyptus.
- Creativity.
- Creative cloth diapers when I ran out of plastic. Necessity remains the mother of invention.
- Funny Community Group video.
- All of our miniature diaper-clad “contributors” to small group discussion.
- My favorite frugal dinner: Lentil skillet.
- Green tea.
- Flowers all abloom, finally happy.
- Last minute Pump-It-Up playdate.
- An amazing reader who chose to generously share her life and belongings with us. Heidi-boo is blessed indeed.
- So many prayer requests: Opportunities for God to flex His muscles on our behalf.
- Words of wisdom from a beautiful mom here.
- Generous link from Jamie Martin of Simple Homeschool.
- Circle of Moms.
- Toy lawnmower, happy boy.
- Early morning birthday run and coffee date with friend. Her gift of presence, love, words. It felt like the best birthday ever before 8am!
- Embrace and smile from my man.
- Kids sleeping in — long, hot shower.
- Washing my hair for the first time in…hm… can’t remember when! 🙂
- Kind kind words and birthday wishes on facebook.
- Many house showings, keeping me on my toes!
- Amazing weather for my birthday — a true sunkiss from God.
- Walk to the park in the morning sun.
- A practical WCC reunion at the park–so many wonderful ladies converge in that place. So thankful to be surrounded by such joy, friendship, love.
- Starbucks, nail polish, Plato’s Closet GC. 🙂
- A huge beautiful bouquet waiting on my doorstep. Little angels all around me.
- Birkenstocks arriving. Ok, these things are way bigger, wider, and bulkier than I had imagined. Kind of feel like I’m wearing snowshoes…but they are comfortable and that is a gift!
- Beautiful hand-made necklace, perfect for a date with my man.
- A little friend over for the afternoon with Dutch. She and Dutch are the best little buds and she has such a calming effect on Dutch! Can I arrange a marriage??
- Dutch spontaneously breaking into the Happy Birthday song.
- Little 3-year-old Brendan singing to me at the park.
- Fountain! Kids love water!
- Heidi playing with the big girls. She’s quite the soccer player!
- Birthday dinner out with my man at Seasons and Regions. Oregonians are so blessed with delicious local food!
- Afternoon spent with Caila from California — amazing disciple/friend/sister-in-Christ.
- Datenight with Cody Paskins. He whooped me at Candyland. 🙂
- Handmade notecards.
- Flora & Fauna stickers!
- Body butter.
- Handmade summer dress for Heidi from LittleBooBoutique.
- Too tired to write more gifts…but there are so many more!
- Strength to bow.
- Eyes to see.
- Grace to rise.
- Hands to raise.
- Praise.
F is for Fasting
There are things about God that I don’t understand. There are things about life that I don’t understand. And when faced with those things, sometimes it’s best to engage in something else I don’t understand: Fasting. A few thoughts about this F-word that’s sadly more taboo than others in our culture.
:: Jesus speaks of fasting in the same manner as prayer and giving. A common question is, “Do Christians have to fast?” Well, no. We don’t. But we readily acknowledge that we are to give and we are to pray, and Jesus speaks of these three things in the same breath in the sermon on the mount (Matt 6). He says,
“When you give …” (6:2)
“When you pray …” (6:5)
“When you fast …” (6:16)
Jesus never tells us exactly how many minutes a day we are supposed to pray. He never tells us exactly how much money we are to give. And He never tells us exactly how much He wants us to fast. But He assumes that we will pray, will give, and will fast.
Then why don’t we? We often think that the “touchiest” subject to address is money and giving, but perhaps in our society addicted to physical comfort, perhaps fasting is even touchier. Richard Foster says,
Why has the giving of money, for example, been unquestionably recognized as an element of Christian devotion and fasting so disputed? Certainly we have as much, if not more evidence from the Bible for fasting as we have for giving. Perhaps in our affluent society fasting involves a far greater sacrifice than the giving of money. (Celebration of Discipline, 66)
Wow. That hit anyone else squarely in the gut? I can attest that that is true of me. It is way easier for me to write a check than go without food. How about you?
:: Biblical fasting must center on spiritual purposes. Fasting or “cleanses” are very popular now, for good reason. Naturally the disciplines that God designed have stood the test of time and proven beneficial for our health. But biblical fasting must center on spiritual purposes. Which is why I personally suggest that anyone who struggles with abusing their body through starvation, that a different form of fasting be observed (from media or people or another everyday habit). However, truth be told very few of us struggle with starving ourselves. And, truth be told, “starving” is a word tossed around in our culture that we know nothing about. Going without food for a meal or a day will starve nothing but our flesh.
But that said, we must be so careful for our motive. Why am I doing this fast? Ultimately the goal of fasting is always intimacy with God. Drawing near. Going without the things satiate our souls so that we can hunger for Him and taste and see that He is good.
:: Fasting is a beautiful way to close the gap between sacred and secular facets of life. What better way to remind ourselves that it is through this earthly body that we are supposed to commune with God. How beautiful that we can dig deep into the spiritual center of our souls through simply pushing aside the plate of food for the day? We don’t have to leave our ordinary duties or buy a new book or go to some conference. A fresh encounter with God is as close as the close of the refrigerator.
I sometimes wonder if God patiently and graciously endures all of our great and grand seeking of Him through contemporary means. As much as I LOVE worship through music, I’m the first to admit that it is a very flesh-satisfying way to seek God. I love the sound, the feel, the experience. It fills me up, gives me energy, gets me going. It’s easy. Fasting is the opposite. There’s nothing about it that satisfies my flesh. It’s hard, makes me tired, and makes me feel humble and dependent.
No wonder God prescribes it.
—
With no guilt, shame, or condemnation, what are your current thoughts about fasting? Scared? Intimidated? Unsure of where to start? Richard Foster has some great words in Celebration of Discipline.
My thoughts? Start small. I began by fasting between meals. You laugh, but it’s true. A step is a step no matter how small. Thanks for reading.
The Disappointment Cycle
Take heart, dear friends, we’re almost done with disappointment!
Remember we said that although God purposefully and strategically disappoints us, His ultimate purpose is that we would not live a life of disappointment. Right? His purpose is to build our faith so that we will not live in fear. Why?
Because fear keeps us bound on the disappointment cycle. It looks like this:
FEAR –> EXPECTATION –> DISAPPOINTMENT –> FEAR …
Here’s how fear spins the cycle: When we are afraid of a situation, it’s because we cannot see the future. We don’t know what is ahead, we only know the pain we experienced before. So, in order to survive (self-protection) and overcome our fear, we create a picture in our minds of what we want the future situation to be. This make sense? The future is dark, we’re scared, so we paint a good picture in our minds of what a pleasant outcome would be (Or, we’re cynical and in a different method of self-protection we envision a negative picture — either one is a form of self-protection and expectation because of fear). That way we can look at that picture in our minds, instead of the blackness of unknown looming ahead, and we can feel some sense of peace or control.
It’s a survival tactic.
So, we’re walking along with this picture in our minds and then boom, life happens and it’s not what our picture showed. The reality is much different from our picture, and our expectations are thwarted. So then we’re: disappointed.
Which then makes us even more fearful.
When the expectations aren’t realized, we’re disappointed, but we try to ignore it, and just anesthetize ourselves by setting up another idea of expectation to hope in, and when that doesn’t happen we do it again and again and again, until our life is just one vicious cycle of thwarted expectations.
So half the battle is identifying our expectations: What was the picture I had in my mind which was not realized? That’s the best place to start. But after we identify our expectations, we need to go through and ask, what fear is causing me to set up these expectations?
A few examples:
- Disappointed in a relationship during my single years because of thwarted expectations: My fear was being unloved and alone. I was afraid that I would never truly be loved. This was probably the most intense and paralyzing fear, and it’s VERY common in women.
- Going to San Jose I had expectations of ministry. I had a fear of failure. I was so scared that we would take this step of faith, leave everything, and then not be able to cut it. I didn’t want to be someone who took a leap of faith and left, went out, and then came home with my tail between my legs, realizing I couldn’t make it out there on my own. I was afraid of failure.
- Living with Mom and Dad: I was afraid that no one actually wanted to hire us. Again, fear of failure. This fear paralyzed me, and kept me insisting upon my expectations, rather than relinquishing them and trusting God. I was also afraid that our marriage would suffer. All sorts of fears swarmed my mind and heart.
It’s not always easy to identify fears, especially when we’re in the middle of it it’s always hard to see. But if we stop and quiet ourselves, search our hearts and ask God, Please show me my fear that is driving me away from your presence and driving me to set up these false expectations.
He wants to deliver us from fear. He will show us that ugly fear so we can kiss it goodbye.
It is always fear that causes us to set up the expectation. And God will disappoint that expectation because He cannot bless something that stems from fear. He loves us too much to let us live a life of fearful expectation. That is not His best. That is not fulfillment. That is not faith. Without FAITH it is impossible to please God. He loves us too much to let us go with that cycle. Next week the good news comes! We’ll look at beautiful, faith-filled expectancy, and the glorious outcome: Fulfillment.
—
How do you see this cycle playing out in your daily life? Fear–Expectation–Disappointment. What fear is lurking underneath? Let’s ask God to deliver us from fear and fill our hearts with faith. Thank you for reading.
{Would you consider… a little birthday blessing by voting here? Maybe it’s silly but the more votes, the more dear ladies will join us in this special sacred space. YOU are a gift to me. Thank you.}