F is for Family Date
So ya’ll, Frugal Friday is done for the time being. Not because I’m done being frugal, but because I’m just done writing about it. 🙂 There are so many other wonderful things to write about–even wonderful things that start with F–so we’ll look at some of those instead. I have a kinda sorta idea forming in my mind that I think would be fun to explore, but I hate committing to something unless I know I can follow through, so no promises.
So last night we had a family date. It was supposed to be Jeff and my monthly date night out, but a last-minute evening house showing meant we all needed to skidaddle, so we cleaned the house and went on our merry way–all of us. It was so fun. We decided to get dinner at Trader Joe’s, since that was probably the cheapest, healthiest option around. Sushi for Jeff and me. I told the kids they could pick anything they wanted. They chose … a lb. of fresh strawberries. Ha! So I slipped in some cheese from home and that was din din for the kiddos. Delish.
Then we used a $20 reward card at Old Navy and got a new much-needed belt for Jeff and a black casual everyday wear skirt for me, and a little gift for a friend, for free. How can I not love that? Then the kids were still hungry (cheese and strawberries wore off) so we used our Christmas Panera gift card and got them bagels while I slurped a decaf coffee. Dinner, new belt and new skirt: Total spent for the date? $6.50. Gotta love that. And the best part: We weren’t in a hurry. This whole refusing to hurry thing is revolutionary, friends. I’m lovin’ it.
So, I realize that this is a post about nothing, and perhaps you’re wondering why on earth you should read a blow-by-blow of our evening last night. You don’t need to. But I just cannot tell you how much more I am enjoying my family, enjoying life, since beginning this discipline of thanksgiving. Everyday it changes my perspective, helps me enjoy my kids, helps me weigh down every moment with my presence. Simple stuff, but the moments are so sweet. Last night in the parking lot of Trader Joe’s a huge semi-truck pulled in to unload food. I crouched next to Dutch, holding his little hand inside mine, and we watched with wonder as it creaked to a stop right in front of us. His eyes wide with wonder, “Is it a Mack or a Peterbuilt?” Tires as tall as the top of his head. Slow moments. Stillness. Letting both kids push a little miniature cart around the store. Considering. Reading labels. Not being rushed. Savoring strawberries and sushi. Delight.
The gratitude thing is such a cycle. The more grateful we are the most delight we take in everything. The more delight we take the more we are grateful for. This, how we engage in loving our God.
This is worship.
So thankful for a family date and free belts and bagels and bites of strawberries. Juice dribbling down little chins.
Life is delicious.
Happy Friday.
By grace, with joy,
Kari
Book Review: One Thousand Gifts
Well there are probably already one thousand book reviews for One Thousand Gifts because it is a New York Times, USA Today, and Amazon Top Ten bestseller. Simply put, a lot of people are reading this book! And that, dear sisters, is a gift in and of itself because this is a book which glorifies our God. God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him. And if there was ever a book which helped us women to be satisfied in God, this is it.
Ann Voskamp is a farmer’s wife and mama to six kids on a rural farm in Ontario. But the book’s not really about her. It’s about us. From Satan’s fall to the first bite of fruit in the garden to the daily ways that we deviate from God’s path, the root of all is ingratitude.
And if the root of all stress, anxiety, depression, struggle, pride, sin is ingratitude, the good news is that we combat this evil foe by a concentrated onslaught of thanksgiving. She began a list of 1000 gifts, giving daily thanks for common graces, and in the process she discovered a joy, intimacy, and passion she had never known.
This book will rock you in every possibly wonderful way. It’s The Problem of Pain meets Mere Christianity meets The Christian’s Secret to a Happy Life meets Annie Dillard. Destined to be a classic, written so exquisitely I sat and re-read sentences over and over just for fun. I want to re-read it so I can write down quotes and post them around my home.
A personal treat for me was her last chapter on how her trip to Paris became the sacred climax to this journey of thanks. My own journey to Europe eleven years ago, was similar in my own walk with God. Having walked those same streets and stood in that same Notre Dame cathedral, I could smell and envision exactly what she described. Interestingly, I read that chapter on the same day that Jeff and I were planning a very special upcoming ministry trip to Europe. We got out my old scrapbook, revisited all those sacred places, and planned, giddy, for our upcoming trip.
But the gist of the book is that those sacred places are first and foremost at home. At the sink, in the laundry room, over the stove, at the table.
The sacredness of the mundane discovered by the simple discipline of counting gifts.
I love it. I think you will too. If you haven’t read it, check it out.
And start counting.
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*I love this recent post she shared on the journey of writing the book.
Gifts with skin
“Hey!”
I looked up from swinging Heidi at Sunset Park to the dark-haired woman approaching me. “Yes?”
“Are you Kris Zyp’s sister?” I smiled and nodded.
Of course that’s about the billionth time I’ve been asked that in my lifetime. Twenty-five years ago it made me cry, twenty-years ago it made me feel insecure, and fifteen years ago it just made me roll my eyes. Now, it makes me feel proud. The good kind of proud.
Yes, I am Kris Zyp’s sister.
You see, my brother is a crazy Doogie Houser child prodigy. No really. My mom has the little baby book journal filled with all the cute things that we said when we were little. Mine are googoo gaga and Kris’s were computations of the distance between planets and probability equations and something or other about Halley’s comet. He used to read Hoyle’s book of rules and the Guinness book of world records just for fun (just now I had to look up how to spell Guinness). When I was a baby just learning to sit up he was playing with his chemistry kit (at 3 1/2 years old!) and made cyanide. We had to call the High School chemistry lab to determine if baby Kari was going to die or not. Fortunately he only made enough to kill a lab rat.
At 9 he taught himself trigonometry (I spelled that right on the first try, by the way) and scored a perfect 800 on the math portion of SATs when he was 12. We spent my childhood traveling around to Johns Hopkins Award ceremonies and Science Bowl competitions. I clutched my dolly under my arm and smiled. Yup, I’m his sister.
Oh, but not just smart. But crazy athletic too. This is the kid that traveled the country playing on All-star basketball teams. (I was the cheerleader) The guy who was all-conference in every sport playing quarterback, point-guard and short-stop. The guy who held school records without trying. How can so much excellence be all tied up in one person?
Of course being cut, handsome, and sandy blond is a nice addition. Because if you’re going to dump all this excellence into one person you might as well make it a good-looking one, right?! I mean seriously, come on.
And then, above all, he has the audacity to be humble beyond words. That is really what marks his life. He seeks God’s glory. Pores over God’s word. Serves selflessly. Gives sacrificially. Loves his family. I’m not saying he’s perfect, but I’m saying he’s one of of the most character guys I’ve ever met. Recently their small church was bereft of the bass player on their worship team and had no one to take his place. My brother? “Sure I’ll learn to play bass.” He started from scratch and learned how to play a musical instrument just to fill the need. Do you see what I mean?
Of course he went on to marry an extraordinary wife and has two extraordinary kids.
The guy is just so stinkin’ extraordinary.
—
Can you see why I used to cry or feel insecure or roll my eyes just a tad? This is all I had to compare myself to growing up. This. Of course the problem wasn’t him it was comparing. But how wonderful is it when we finally realize that we don’t have to impress God because Jesus impressed God for us. And how wonderful is it when we realize that God has more than enough love for all of us! Someone else’s awesomeness doesn’t take away from our awesomeness in Christ.
And where competition ends love begins.
For so long I felt that being ordinary was a curse because all I ever saw was how extraordinary my brother was. But of course that’s like a toe lamenting because it doesn’t get to do the typing or the wear the earrings or speak the eloquent words. Toes matter. And so do ordinary people.
And that includes me. (And you, all my beloved ordinary readers :))
But most of all, how blessed are we when extraordinary people come along our path? We should praise God for them, learn from them, watch their example (more on that coming Thursday). How dreary would the world be if we were all identical?
I love my brother so much it makes my heart feel like it’s going to explode. I admire him, learn from him, brag about him. He’s taught me about giving, living sacrificially, about humility and grace, about asking tough questions and challenging the status quo. And he’s taught me all these things by example.
That is a gift. He is a gift. He is a gift to me.
And today he turns thirty-four. I wish he were close enough to hug, but this post is my best attempt at saying, across the miles, I love you. I’m thankful for you. I’m sorry for wasted years way back that I spent comparing and not loving. I can’t imagine a better brother. You’re the crazy coolest person ever. I’m so proud to be your sister.
The greatest gifts in our lives are always people. Today I pray that we stop, look around, and begin counting the gifts that have skin. We all have so many. I have so many, and my brother is one of the best.
Happy birthday, Kris. And here’s to all our gifts with skin. Let’s celebrate them today.
By grace, with joy,
Kris Zyp’s sister
1 Samuel 18: The Unsung Hero and His Crazy Selfless Love
Jonathan is an unsung hero of Scripture. We know so little about this son of King Saul, but what we know speaks volumes about his character, his heart. Though David is the hero in the spotlight, the one whose heart we praise, Jonathan’s faithfulness, loyalty, selflessness, and courage reveals a heart that too was after God’s. Perhaps even more so. I’m totally encouraged by this man in the shadows–will you sit for a second and let me tell you why?
Courage: Jonathan was a man of tremendous courage. We cheer for David because he had the courage to kill one Philistine, but I often forget that Jonathan killed twenty Philistines in one fell swoop (1 Samuel 14:14). Talk about courage! Sometimes I mistakenly picture Jonathan as this weak and quiet soul, known only for his love for David. This man was a warrior!
Selflessness: Hands down what amazes me most about Jonathan was his utter lack of jealousy. After David slays Goliath and is set over all the men of war and becomes very successful in battle, the people begin to sing,
“Saul has struck down his thousands, and David his ten thousands.”
Saul hears this and he is ticked. Beyond ticked. He is angry, jealous, and begins eying David from that day on, trying to kill him every chance he has.
Jonathan’s response? Now remember, Jonathan didn’t even get a line in the song! No mention at all! He was the mighty warrior who killed twenty Philistines single-handedly. No singing for Jonathan though. Is he jealous?
No. Jonathan’s response to all of David’s success?
“the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul … and Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt” (1 Samuel 18:1-4).
Are you getting this? This is CRAZY selfless love. Jonathan is the King’s son. That means Jonathan would be next-in-line as king. And yet this David character, who by birth has zero right to the throne, (but has been secretly anointed the next king by Samuel) comes along and becomes the hero overnight. Instead of the crowds singing about great King Saul and Jonathan his son, they’re singing about great King Saul and David the shepherd boy! If there was ever a time to be justified in feeling threatened, this is it for Jonathan. Right about now would be the totally understandable time for Jonathan to pretty much hate David’s guts.
But what do we see?
Jealousy? None.
Envy? Not a chance.
Hatred? Au contraire.
LOVE.
And not just love at arm’s length, which is infinitely easier to give, isn’t it?
Love close-up. Love in an embrace. Love in friendship. Love in symbolically giving David his robe and armor and even his sword and his belt. Jonathan’s actions say, “I see that God has made you, not me, the next king. I recognize you as such and I submit my royal rights to you.
I give you all that I have, including my heart.
Does this strike anybody else as just crazy God-glorifying character that brings me to knees in conviction?
The normal response (or at least mine), when faced with jealousy and God’s command to love, is to love that person from afar.
I’ll love them but not personally promote them. I’ll love them but not be friends with them.
Jonathan does both. He personally promotes David, and he offers selfless friendship to him as well. And later in Scripture we see Jonathan risking his own life again and again, to bless, save, and promote his friend in selfless, loyal love.
Girls girls girls, this is friendship. Remember all our talks about envy and jealousy? Up to this point we’ve mostly just seen what not to do. But here it is, the perfect beautiful example of what to do.
When we are threatened, diffuse the threat with love.
When jealousy creeps in, break jealousy’s back with love.
When envy arises, douse envy’s burn with love.
And not just a love from afar. A love that gets close. A love that personally promotes. A love that cheers for one’s threat. A love that refuses rivalry. A love that kicks out competition. A love that opts out of the race. A love that smiles at a potential enemy and extends food, water, and grace (Romans 12:20).
We might be surprised at what happens.
That rival might just be a soulmate.
But our eyes must be cleared of insecurity’s distortion, which can turn every friend into foe. We have to be freed from ourselves, before we can love like this. Before we can quit seeing others as a threat and cheer them on instead.
Can Jonathan be my new hero?
We can’t be a Jonathan to everyone, but we can look for ways to continually be lifting others up and cheering them on–to be looking out not only for our own interests but also the interests of others (Phil 2:4).
And you, who can you cheer for today? On whom do you recognize the call of God–and how can you nurture that calling in that person? Who are you tempted to view as a threat? How can you love them instead?
By grace, with joy,
Kari