Frugal Friday: The Simple Diet
This past week I began doing Preschool lessons at home with Dutch….every day. Remember my goal was to do it 2x/week? That was all I thought I could do. Well, turns out that my friend with whom I’m partnering (doing a little coop with our 3 preschool-aged kids) is doing it every day, so in order for us to stay on track together, I said I’d give it a shot every day. I was sort of dragging my heels because I didn’t want to over-commit, and I like my freedom, but I said I’d try. Just try.
I love it.
Here’s what I love. It’s simple and effective. I feel like I’m clueless most of the time with parenting and teaching, but this great curriculum (My Father’s World) outlines each day and gives ideas and optional things to do and just spells it all out for me. I must say, since I’m entering unknown territory it is very helpful for someone just to tell me what to do. Make it simple. Down the road I’m sure I’ll do more on my own and adjust and have my own ideas, but for now, it sure is nice to just have it all spelled out! I love doing it everyday because the structure helps rather than hinders my day. And though Dutch resisted at first, I can see the sense of accomplishment he feels when he completes a little lesson. Win win.
So, I was realizing that for some of us, who are really wanting to start afresh in the area of budgeting and/or healthy eating this new year, we might feel the same way. Sure, some of us just want to save a dollar here and there, but I know that there are some that are really wanting a total revamp in this department. In fact, this series is born out of an email I received recently from someone I love very much. After some seriously financial trials, she is endeavoring to drop their grocery budget from $800 down to $300 (for a fam of 4)–a worthy goal, and a challenge to be sure! Her question: Where do I start??
So I am in no way saying everyone needs to do this, and please hear my heart: I am not asserting that this is the godly or scriptural or morally superior way to live and eat. No judging here! If you’re happy with your diet and your budget, awesome. There are more important things to do in the world. But, if you are feeling like you want to make a change and don’t know where to start: Here’s a simple start. My prayer is that as we simplify and exercise prudence in the everyday details of our lives, we will free up more resources and energy to pursue the things of eternal value. The enemy would love to have us so bogged down with budgets and endless couponing and overspending and stress over our health and weight that we are rendered useless for the Kingdom. I am not an expert in any of those areas, but I can offer one thing: A simple diet. I’d like to therefore share a few Simple Steps each week, and I’ve enlisted the help of some of my nutritional gurus, including one registered dietitian whose worked in the field for years. And with that, shall we begin?
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Healthy food is not necessarily that expensive–choice and convenience are. The name of the game is Simplify. We think that convenience should simplify our lives, but in reality many times our modern day conveniences complicate our lives.
Today’s supermarket is driven by these two things: Choice and Convenience. We tend to believe that having choice and convenience will make us happy. But I suspect that it might be the opposite. Every notice how you’re perfectly content with what you have until you have the option of something else?
So in the weeks to come we’re going to explore what I’m calling The Simple Diet, showing one way to give your diet/budget a major makeover (without clipping 500 coupons a week!). Now obviously there are a million ways to do this, I am not claiming to be an expert, nor am I saying you need to eat the exact same way that we do, but if you’re just looking for someone to tell you what to do (like I was with preschool curriculum!) and make it simple, then here’s one way. Take it, leave it, change it, tweak it. But guaranteed you will come in under budget!
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Simple Step #1: Eat Oats.
Eat oatmeal for breakfast. It would seem that cold cereal is the most convenient thing in the world. And I’ll tell you, for 30 years I have been a cold cereal fanatic (ok probably not as an infant, but for as long as I can remember). I would eat it for every meal if I could. So the idea to toss my beloved boxes was scary. But switching to oatmeal is the single easiest way to cut cost and build health. Why?
Oatmeal is cheap. We’re talking WAY cheap. At Winco it is 45 cents a pound. We buy enough for the whole month and there’s breakfast. Done. For pennies per serving.
One option simplifies mornings. I understand those with older children maybe can’t get away with this switch. But if you can, awesome. Every morning Jeff dumps four cups of water in a pot and turns it on. Then he showers, etc. Later he comes down when it’s boiling and dumps in 2 big cups of oatmeal. Put it on low, cover. Leave it. Do whatever. Then whenever (10 minutes is perfect), turn it off. Ready. Done. Stays warm so even if some people have to leave early and some late it’s always ready. Jeff and I sprinkle brown sugar on ours, and I put homemade berry applesauce (will include recipe) in the kids’. I put the four bowls on the table. Done. Older kids could fix their own. Done. One option.
Oatmeal is simple. I love that it doesn’t even matter if we have fresh milk on hand. Oatmeal doesn’t go bad. It’s just there, sitting there. I don’t have to clip any coupons. I don’t have to look for deals. I don’t have to try to get all the different brands and types that different people like. One option, and it requires no fresh ingredients (although you could put milk in yours for extra protein.) SO simple.
Oatmeal is a superfood. Oats are among the top healthiest foods. It’s delicious, nutritious, whole-grain, full of fiber and protein, and somehow it always feels like a treat (because of the sprinkled brown sugar). I blenderize oats and use it instead of white flour in cookies. I mix it in with banana bread and other cakes. Food in its natural state (rather than Os or flakes or hexagons) is always healthiest. So old-fashioned oatmeal will always be a fabulous way to start your day.
Include a banana and a cup of tea, if you’d like to really have a feast. Or sprinkle on cinnamon, drizzle some honey, add raisins. I knew someone who used to eat their oatmeal with peanut butter and chocolate chips. Mix in flax-seed, chickpea puree for protein, chia seeds, whatever! Or, go Simple and eat it plain. Whatever suits you. But of you really need to hack down your grocery budget this will do it–leave behind the juice, flavored coffee creamer, boxed cereal, etc.
Now, if you feel like eating simply will take all the fun out of eating, yes–there is that consideration. The gist behind a Simple Diet is just eating to live not living to eat. If your budget and time allows for variation, great. If not, a simple breakfast of oatmeal every morning will fabulously fuel your body for pennies.
Happy breakfasting!
Genesis 30: Cheering each other on.
There seems to be one thing (and pretty much only one thing) that all of us women agree upon: Female relationships are tricky.
I recently had the joy of sitting with some friends and having a wonderfully frank, candid, and doubled-over-laughing conversation. One of the topics that arose, of course, was childbirth. (Before I was married/had kids, I didn’t understand why women always talked about chidlbirth. How bizarre! Now I understand. It’s like WWII veterans always swapping war stories. Once you’ve been through labor you’re a veteran. They should make special license plates.)
One girl admitted, “Well I had an epidural…” almost like she was confessing a sin. No one was throwing stones, that’s for sure. Then she (my refreshingly honest friend) admitted that there was a person in her life (left unnamed and unknown to us) who was so dedicated to the virtue of having no pain medication that that’s all she talked about, who seemed to equate medication with sin. My friend confessed that she has found herself hoping this other girl has a hard labor just so she’d come down off her high horse! Now, yes, that is not the right response, we all know that right? But I understand what she means. When someone we know aspires to a great challenge with humility, we cheer for them (or at least we should), but when they do it with pride or arrogance or in a spirit of competition, we find ourselves wishing we could knock them down a notch or two. I have a friend, who is one of the most refreshingly humble people I know, who recently endured a long painful labor without any meds, and I was from the bottom of my heart cheering her on the whole way. She (and others I know) are amazing to me. And it helps that she’s humble. It’s amazing how boasting triggers envy and humility inspires love. When we boast, we are triggering envy (or annoyance!) in others. When we’re humble, we inspire love in others. I am guilty of boasting so often it makes me want to puke, but we’re not going to talk about that here. Leave me to repent on my own, please. (And we’ll talk more on this beast of envy later next week.)
So since I opened to Genesis 30 this morning, it appears the talk of childbirth is continuing–and the story of envy, jealousy and competition in the hearts of women. The story of Rachel and Leah, both Jacob’s wives, is to me one of the saddest in all of scripture, because it reveals so much about the brokenness and woundedness in women’s hearts. It reveals that since the first demonic whisper in the garden of Eden, we women have struggled with the lie, “You are unloved and unlovely.” Forever we have been trying to earn and win the love of others by what we do. I do it. I’m guessing you’ve done it. It breaks my heart. We all just so long to be loved and accepted.
So the first thing we learn from Rachel and Leah is that we have a raw, gnawing desire to gain the love and approval of others. And, all too often we see each other as a threat, so we compete with each other in subtle (and not so subtle) ways. In different cultures and at different times this approval and value is found in different ways so the competition will look different. Rachel and Leah were in a race to bear children because that was what earned them status and value and (they thought) the favor of their husband.
The bottom line was that they each wanted to be the beloved. In our culture, obviously it’s different. I can honestly say I’ve never been tempted to try to bear more children than someone else. And thankfully, I never have to worry about my husband loving his other wife more.
But I may compete for approval. For status. For the regard or praise of others.
And the desire is still the same. When I do that, I’m operating under the exact same assumptions that Rachel and Leah did–it looks different, but the motive is the same: If I can outdo those around me, somehow, then I will be the beloved.
What also strikes me about this story, ladies, is that our self-worth is very much tied up in our children. We may not compete with how many we can have. But what about how we birth them, or how we feed them, or what parenting philosophy we espouse, or how well-behaved they are, or someday I’m sure it’ll be how good they are at sports or how well they do at school. I’m sure there’s no end to the ways that we tie up our worth in our kids. Few things make us proud or shamed more than the performance and ability of our children.
We have to be on guard, girls. The enemy does not want us to love each other. Nothing makes Satan more pleased than when we view each other as opponents rather than sisters. The moment we begin wanting to bring someone else down a notch is the moment we know we’ve been sucked into the demonic game of competition. He can even use the silliest of topics (epidurals and breastfeeding for crying out loud!) to make us turn on one another. And you know what that reveals?
We just so desperately want to be the beloved. We want, somehow, to shine. I know I do. I long so much to do something right. And our motives are mixed. We long for love and favor (good), but it’s as if we think there is a limited amount in the world so we must steal it from others in order for us to be full.
There is no limited amount.
God has plenty of love and favor for us all. See, the problem for Rachel and Leah was that there was limited favor. They had one husband for two women, which is not God’s design. They, in many ways, were doomed from the start. But we have no such disadvantage. God’s love for us is boundless and there is plenty of His affection and favor for us all. There is room for all of us in this world. You can flourish, I can flourish.
We don’t have to compete for God’s love.
I think as long as we walk this fallen earth we will likely be tempted with this. But girls, we cannot give in. We cannot let others’ successes threaten us. We cannot wish for a brutal labor for someone :), we cannot wish someone’s kids would misbehave just because it’s make us feel better. We cannot wish for someone’s misfortune just so that our pathetic egos can get a boost. I so wish we did not struggle with this, but we do.
But it has to stop.
My prayer for 2011 is that we, as women, would experience the love of God in such a full and overflowing manner, that there is room in our hearts to wholeheartedly cheer for others. To wish for their best. To be 100% freed from envy and jealousy. To rejoice when others are preferred above us or when others succeed where we struggle.
We have to.
The story of Rachel and Leah is a tragic one. I’m sure their household was miserable. It reeked of envy and jealousy, it teemed with distrust and dishonesty. There was no love. For two women who were probably wonderful friends at one time, the poison of competition likely destroyed whatever love they had shared.
Thank goodness we don’t all share a husband, amen? And the Heavenly Husband that we do share has plenty of love for us all.
Will you cheer me on? I will cheer you on. I’ll even try to love you if your kids are perfect, though it will be a stretch.
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In what way have you caught yourself competing with another woman? What does it reveal about your need to feel love and approval? What steps can you take to STOP and choose to love instead?
(More in envy when we look at Genesis 37 next week…)
Oh that You might do it my way!
I’m so thankful that we get to start the Scriptures in Genesis. What a fun book! I know all scripture is God-breathed and useful, but I have to say I’m not quite sure what my posts will look like when we’re army-crawling through the book of Leviticus. For now, I’m sure enjoying the ride.
In Genesis 17, I love Abraham’s words in verse 18. The context is that he and Sarah have schemed together, of course, and used Hagar to produce the child Ishmael. Of course this was not the child of promise, it was the child of the flesh, born of their manipulative schemes and not the fulfillment of God’s promise.
But he is here. Ishmael is here and he’s now grown into a young man, and God is again telling Abraham that they shall bear a child–he and Sarah shall bear a child–in their old age. Abraham’s response? “Oh that Ishmael might live before you!”
Now, this isn’t a plea for Ishmael’s life. Ishmael wasn’t going to die or anything, it’s just that Ishmael was not God’s plan. But Abraham, in his humanness that I can’t help but love and identify with, pleads (my translation)–“Oh that You might do it my way! Oh that You could just adjust your plans, God, and just go along with what we’ve already set up. Can you please just bless what we’ve already done? Why do you have to go on and scrap it all and start over? I mean can’t you just use what we’ve done??”
God’s answer?
NO.
No, He will not just go along with what you’ve already done by the work of your flesh. No, he will not just go ahead and “bless” what you’ve done in your own strength because you did not trust God enough to wait on Him.
Pure and simple. No.
Oooooh, sisters and brothers! Oooh, how often have we prayed that exact same prayer in our own words? How often have I prayed, “Can you please just bless what I have done? Nevermind if it was according to Your will or not? Can you just bless it, puh-leeease? Just this once and you just please do what I want and put Your power behind it?”
Oh that makes my heart sink. I know I have done this so many times. Not wicked things. Good things. Even ministry things. “God here is my thing, can you please just bless it?”
Now, to be fair–of course when we plan something and we seek God as best as we know how and as best as we know it is of Him, of course we can confidently and wholeheartedly ask Him to bless it. Just this morning in our prayer meeting I was asking God to bless the upcoming parenting workshop that our church is putting on–because I am confident that it is of Him, that it honors Him, and that He is behind it.
But I’ve caught myself the past few weeks as I’m praying, and I notice that often this creeps into my prayers: Just asking to have God’s power behind whatever it is I want. It’s subtle, but it makes me God, right? And the minute I start going there I’m in big trouble.
God will never bless the works of our flesh.
He will redeem them, yes. He will use them for good, yes. But He will never say yes to our prayer, “Oh that I might have my way! Can you please just drop Your plans and do it my way instead?” Or, He might say yes, but that would be a scary thing indeed. Sound discouraging?
There’s more to the story.
There’s no period after the “no”. God says, “no” comma. God says “No, but Sarah your wife shall bear a son and you shall call his name Isaac.”
No, because My plan is so much better.
No, because it would be cruel of Me to give in to your way. Because My way is infinitely better than your way. No, because I have things in store for you that are greater than you can ever imagine.
God says, “Trust me on this one. No is exactly what you want to hear.”
A good reminder for me today.
Who Calls You Happy?
“Do you like it?” I pointed at my homemade artwork–a anthropologie-inspired sweater mosaic perched on the mantle–and looked at my friend for her response. She nodded and shrugged her shoulders.
“Do you like it?” She responded. I stared at her.
Did I like it? That question caught me off guard. Later that day I thought back to 7th grade and remembered wearing a rather unusual skirt to school one day. My grandma had made it, and I couldn’t decide whether it was stunning or horrid. It would take some work to pull it off, but I thought it was pretty cool. I went for it.
Of course it took all of two minutes for me to see the verdict on the faces of the girls at school. A glance down, eyebrows up, look at me, smirk. It was dumb. The skirt had failed. I went home at lunch and changed my clothes.
Later that day a friend, a true friend, had chided me: “Why’d you change? Don’t let what other people think make you change your clothes. If you like the skirt, wear it.”
Did I like the skirt?
Do I like the my sweater mosaic?
How often do I have to ask a hundred opinions before I decide what I think?
Are my opinions simply the sum total of others’?
While I’ve grown out my 7th grade skirt, I haven’t quite grown out of my over-dependence on other’s opinions. And I have a feeling I’m not alone. I recently received a text from a friend: “Can I come over? Formal event–need opinion on dress”. I’m happy to give my input, but really she’s the only one who needs to like what she wears. Right?
Perhaps our over-dependence on other’s opinions is harmless enough when it comes to skirts and art, but my hunch is that it creeps down past the superficial and begins to take root in our hearts.
Am I okay?
The same question that haunts us haunted our feminine ancestors thousands of years ago. In Genesis 30, sisters Rachel and Leah are desperately and miserably competing for their husband Jacob’s love and approval by seeing who can bear the most children. Leah takes the lead while Rachel is barren, so Rachel gets her maid to bear a few to even the score. Then Leah becomes barren and panics, so she gets her maid to bear more children with Jacob. And after that child is born Leah announces,
“Happy am I! For women have called me happy.” (30:13)
Hmm. Happy am I. Why?
For women have called me happy.
Are you convinced? Neither am I. I can almost picture the scene. Anxious and driven by insecurity and competition, Leah makes one final attempt to win the affection of the husband who clearly prefers her sister. Deep down she knows the truth. After resorting to the unthinkable (giving her maid to her husband!), she insists that she is happy because other women have called her happy.
Modern day translation?
I’m okay because other women say I’m okay.
Dear sisters, that is not the truth.
You are not merely the sum total of other people’s opinions.
Your skirt has value if you like wearing it.
Your artwork has value if you like looking at it.
You have value because you are wonderfully made in the image of God.
You are not happy if women call you happy. And you are not worthless if women call you worthless. We will be called both at some point, and our defining moment is what we choose to believe.
When we dismiss our opinions, we dismiss our worth. When we dismiss our worth, we dismiss the genius of the One who created us. The One who called you more than happy.
The one who called you His own.
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In what ways have you allowed the opinions of others to trample your own? In what ways have you allowed your worth to merely be the sum total of other’s opinions? Ask God today to show you His opinion of who you are.