The Earth Sings About Him
You’ve often heard me say that in many ways Corvallis still feels like home. Perhaps because that’s where my romance with Christ really took off, where my walk with Him deepened. Perhaps because that’s where Jeff and I met, married, and worked side-by-side in full-time ministry. We labored there. Truly labored, for hundreds of college men and women to know Christ more. I feel like my heart is poured out there, on the sidewalks and the streets and the coffee shops. There are little bits of me here and there, memories as strong as if they’d been today. The old fraternity where Jeff proposed. The Red Horse coffee shop where I met with every college girl I could get to open a Bible. There are people there with whom we’ve walked through great tragedies. We’ve cried together, prayed together, waited together, battled together. We’ve been on our faces together, desperately seeking God for His kingdom to come.
We drove down Saturday for the bridal shower of…my daughter. Yes, beautiful Sarah Westfall, soon to be Mrs. Ian Nelson. Almost five years ago she played my daughter in the play Tilly. That production and the ministry that went with it was probably one of the most impacting and significant things I’ve ever done in my life. And now, my little daughter is marrying the guy who played my son (her brother)!! But at the shower I sat in a room filled with girls I’ve watched grow, with women I’ve watched, emulated, gleaned from. I sat with women whose faith in Christ is so remarkable it’s only something I can dream of. I sat with the producer of the plays, who I worked with all the years in Corvallis (whose husband just sold our house!). We spend countless hours praying, planning, crying, blocking, choreographing, picking music…oh my goodness. So much history.
Then we spent the afternoon with some of our dearest friends, Adam & Grace Poole, and their four boys. Grace and I were best friends in college, and now Adam and Jeff have become closest friends. They are probably two of the most likeminded guys; Adam challenges Jeff in all ways. They read books together and challenge each other. A kinship that is so rare and so precious.
Then Saturday night we stayed at our old house (that just sold! We figured it was silly to get a motel when we own a home there!) It was our first home, and we hadn’t stayed there for more than five years. We brought sleeping bags and camped out on the floor, memories sweeping over me as I lay trying to fall asleep. The night we got the keys, and drove over with paint cans and sparkling cider, painting the walls into the night, sipping cider and dreaming about our life together. Our first Christmas morning, snuggling by the fire. The phone call that invited us to move to San Jose. The day we walked away from the house, pulling away in our Uhaul, tears silently slipping down my cheeks as I tried to be brave.
And this morning we went back to our old church home, Calvary Corvallis. Though now somewhat foreign, in a new building with many new people, after checking the kids in I walked outside and the familiar voice of Ryan Smith floated through the outdoor amphitheater and carried me back to hundreds of worship times, and carried me forward into the presence of God. We found our dear friends, Aaron and Candi (the couple who moved to San Jose with us), who had brought a blanket for us to sit on (knowing that we’d forget), and within moments I was there, sitting in the presence of God, lost in Him. Though the service was nothing special, it was powerful: just Ryan alone on his guitar, Pastor Rob simply preaching the Word chapter by chapter and verse by verse, with more resolute conviction than ever, communion, offering, an invitation to receive Christ (with several people responding!), and the service closing with a baptism for anyone who wanted to come right then, dressed in their clothes, and make a public declaration to follow Jesus. Of course afterward I felt like we had a hundred people to see, but soon Heidi was hungry and I snuck away to feed her in the car…then saw another dear friend, now a missionary to Indonesia but home on furlough, and she snuck into the car and caught up while I fed Heidi.
And then we left. Tired, hot, hungry…but full. So refreshed. So filled and ministered to. So blessed. So reminded of our glorious Savior and His amazing love for us. So reminded of His glory and His kingdom and how He wants to come down and change us. So aware that everything on earth sings about the glory of God. As we drove, the kids slept and Jeff and I turned on the worship music and listened to one of my new favorite songs, My Romance by Melissa Wise:
Look at the way the flowers bloom for You
They want to show You their beauty Lord
Running waters dance, You and I romance
Chorus:
Unto You be all the glory.
Unto You be all the glory (repeat)
Bridge:
The angels dance around You
The earth it sings about You
Open up the heavens Lord
Let Your Kingdom come to earth
my praises all surround you
my soul can’t dance without you
open up the heavens Lord
let Your kingdom come to earth
—-
Don’t get me wrong. Jeff and I are exactly where we want to be and exactly where God has us. You couldn’t pay me enough money in the world to leave the work God is doing, to leave our family at WCC. I love it. And I love them. But I’m thankful for little times of refreshing where God takes us away from our usual routine, and gives us a glimpse of His glory. Using people, using scenery, using memories, using music. The earth sings about Him. He is so glorious. The angels dance around Him. The flowers bloom for Him. My soul can’t dance without Him. And my prayer is that God would open up the heavens and let His kingdom come to earth.
My God is Over the Top
Just today a friend told me a fun story, about how she was getting her eight-month-pregnant self out the car and trying to extricate her sleeping toddler from the backseat when a huge bee came buzzing dangerously near them. As she bent down to get her daughter she prayed, “Please Lord just let that bee just go the other direction!” As she hefted her daughter out of her carseat and straightened, she looked on the roof of the car. The bee was creeping toward them, stopped, and fell over dead. What?! Later she walked back out and sure enough the bee was still dead on the roof of the car. It seemed that God went a little over the top with His answer to her prayer, perhaps just as a little way, in the midst of some hard times they are going through, to remind her of His extravagent love and watchful care.
Sometimes right now I feel like God is going over the top with us. I just went back and re-read my posts from this time last week and it appears that this time a year ago was a particularly difficult time. In fact, in one post I was trying to write out the “good things” that I saw during that difficult season and ended up writing this:
The truth is that I just can’t see it yet. I’m still too far in the midst of the circumstance to even see it right. The fact is right now as I sit there trying to think, I can think of ten bad things for every good thing. It’s been SO hard on our marriage. We have less money and more debt than ever before. I feel discouraged and depressed almost all the time, like it takes a supernatural measure of courage to do everday things. We have no close friends nearby. We’ve invested a year in a place where it now seems likely we won’t be long term. We have nowhere to live. We have no job. There are a million three-generation-household-living dynamics that are driving me insane (and I know we drive my parents crazy!). And the worst is that this was my choice, and I should be thankful, I know that, but I’m not. I’m miserable, and every time I think of one thing to be thankful for, there are five things that bombard my mind that are depressing. So, sorry to get so real and raw with you, but what this has taught me is that I don’t think I’m going to see this one very clearly until later. Time will have to tell what those “good things” are.
It is later now. Even as I read that I shake my head with my eyes full of tears because that was exactly right, time would tell what good things God was working. He strengthened us, refined us, deepened us. That same week we visited WCC for the first time. Little did we know…
And now, a year later, I feel like God is having this fun game, going over the top in showing me how much He loves to bless us. These are perhaps “small things”–but every single little kiss takes me back to a year ago and reminds me that all along, God had sweet, rich blessings in store.
For one, I cannot put it any other way but that our new home is BEAUTIFUL. I had no idea. When they told us about it, it was hard to picture, and we knew we were getting the “budget” version of it and so didn’t have high expectations. Oh I was so wrong. We got to sneak through the other day and it is 100 times more beautiful that I’d ever imagined. Little ridiculous things like the garage doors are my favorite style. Who cares about garage doors?! I guess I do, and perhaps God does because His ridiculous daughter does. 🙂
Secondly, because of a dispute with the CC&R’s (long story–our house is technically not up to the CC&R code because it’s smaller than the rest of the houses in the neighborhoo), our builder, DR Horton, has to upgrade the exterior of our house to the highest level of stonework at no cost to us. That’s an upgrade that’s worth thousands. Plus, there’s a good chance that they will also (because of this same dispute) be leaving the lot that is next to ours (a corner) vacant so that the subdivision isn’t overcrowded. Um, greenspace next to us instead of another house? Yes please!! And we had no idea. In fact I find it funny because all along we felt like this was THE lot we were supposed to buy. Even though the houseplan wasn’t exactly my favorite we felt like the lot was what we were supposed to have. Now of course I think the house is gorgeous, and I’m shaking my head at God’s over-the-top-ness.
Third, a week before our Corvallis house sold I found out that a professional home-stager (stages high-end luxury homes for sale) was going out of business and allowing the church to buy her high-end decor items at ridiculous deals on July 26th. At the time I was committed to not getting anything for the house because our house hadn’t sold and we were still firm that we wouldn’t go forward with the new house unless our Corvallis house sold. Well, as you know–it did, just a week before. In fact, two days after our house sold Jeff preached at church and she was so touched by the sermon that she met with him afterwards. While they talked she found out about our house story and so allowed me to go beforehand, all by myself, and shop her 4,500 square foot warehouse and get incredible deals on rugs, towels, decor, candles, even a model ship for Dutch’s room, all for a song. As I walked through her warehouse, filled with beautiful home items, all by myself, my eyes filled with tears. My heavenly Father was throwing me a shower. He was lavishly pouring out his love on me, giving me a private shopping party for the house He had provided. I never in a million years could have forseen any of that. And yet He did. He knew all along how He would go over the top to show me His love.
Then yesterday we found out that the inspection is done on our Corvallis house and they want nothing repaired. What?! Again, that is amazing. That means we can basically walk away, close September first, and be done. Jeff and I were just shaking our heads in amazement. Really, God? Then also yesterday, as I was being my ridiculous coupon-clipper self and buying cheap toilet paper at Target, I found these storage baskets that were exactly what I was looking for. I’ve been searching high and low for some pretty square storage baskets, with lids, so that we can keep the kids toys contained in the living room without it looking like we live in toys-r-us. Well Target had these two beautiful, perfect-sized baskets on clearance marked down from $60 each down to $30 each. I didn’t feel comfortable buying them without talking to Jeff so I went home. But today Jeff said, “Go get them! That’s perfect and it’s a great deal!” I still hestitated. I know, I’m ridiculous, but it’s hard for me to spend money on new stuff like that. So this morning I prayed and asked God if He wanted me to spend His money on them. And I felt like I should go, but as I drove away I told God, “I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing, I’m just doing my best, so please show me if this is how you want me to spend your money.” I decided to first check at Goodwill to see if there was a better deal. Nothing there, so I went on to Target, found two baskets the perfect shade and went to check out. To my amazement when she rang them up they were 1/2 off even THAT price, so they were only $15 each! I shook my head and laughed to myself as I gave her my card. Even baskets, God? You even care about baskets? I don’t know that God cares about baskets, but apparently He cares about me. 🙂
This is the God we serve. I deserve none of this, and I know there will be (and are right now in other areas) difficult things that arise. There will be seasons of joy and seasons of sorrow. But for right now, I just have to tell of how my God is extravagant. He showed us on the cross, and He’s showing me through seemingly insignificant things like baskets and garage doors. My God is over the top. He’s crazy in love with us. Let’s give this extravagant God the best of our love in return.
My Mom-cation
I’m experiencing summer’s equivalent of being snowed in, which is infinitely better than its cold-weather counterpart. This past winter we experienced the snow-storm of a century, with nearly 2 1/2 feet of snow piled up on our back deck for almost a week. Dutch’s birthday, Christmas Eve, and Christmas plans were all subject to the daily drifts of snow, the dangerously deep icy trenches on the roads, the cancelled flights. And while it certainly demanded our flexibility and required us to let go of our plans and cherished traditions (no clam chowder at Uncle Tom’s on Christmas Eve), it forced us to make new ones and allowed us some sweet impromptu parties that wouldn’t have otherwise happened (hiking through the snow to the Baileys house for Sunday morning waffles in leiu of church). The conditions made everything an adventure. Inconvenient perhaps, but memories are made of such stuff. I loved it.
So this week, when temperatures have soared to record highs (my parents’ thermometer registered 109.6 today), and our apartment turned into a virtual sauna, I opted for an escape. I had been stubborn, insisting our apartment (without a/c) would be fine. But Tuesday morning, after a long, sweaty, sleepless night, I started to cave. Then I went into the closet (yes, Heidi still sleeps there) and found her drenched in sweat (poor baby), I decided enough was enough. I tossed our bathing suits, sunblock, women’s ministry materials and a novel I’ve been longing to read into the car and set out for the soothing sound (and air-conditioned interior) of Riversong.
Though I do have meetings and commitments peppering my week, I was able to spend all of today here without interruption. No phone calls (except a long and delightful catch-up conversation with my out-of-state brother which refreshed my soul), only a few quick necessary emails, and a whole day stretched before me with nothing but my Bible and my delicious novel. My novel, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society had been sitting on my nightstand, tucked under my Parenting Isn’t for Cowards book like a tiny morsel of chocolate hidden in the back of the cupboard, waiting for just the right indulgent moment. Today was my moment.
The kids were, of course, thrilled to play with Papa and Oma all day. Oma read books, Papa played trucks, and both gladly bounced Heidi and played peek-a-boo while I lounged, without a trace of guilt, by the pool, swimming cool refreshing laps during the few moments when I could stand to put down my book. I just finished the final page (Dawsey!), and sat savoring.
While I love to travel, for a mom of small children this is to me the finest idea of vacation on earth. My children are cool, safe, happy, and getting their regular naps. I have privacy, pool, air-conditioning, and the freedom to lounge in my bathing suit with unwashed hair and without a trace of makeup. A mom-cation at its best. I swear somehow in 24 hours my skin has improved, my mind has cleared, and the world seems to revolve less around our little suburbian hill we call home. Perhaps reading a story of beauty in the midst of concentration camps and war-time brutality gives one a little broader perspective. All I know is that I love to read. And a well-timed Mom-cation is balm for the soul. And fiction, stories, are some of the most powerful things on earth. Stories give hope, life, breath. Read! Oh, and I’m starting a book club. 🙂 More on that to come… I have a few more hours of Mom-cation to enjoy.
Listen to Hagar: Seen, Heard & Known by Name
The other day Jeff came home and said, “Guess what I found? Hagar!” He had somehow misplaced the CD from the women’s spring luncheon, a lesson from the life of Hagar. A few people had asked me to post the audio, and I obviously have not since it was nowhere to be found. So although it’s now almost three months later, and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t anything spectacular, here it is. Maybe it will bless you.
[podcast]http://www.detheos.com/media/mp3/Hagar-kari-patterson.mp3[/podcast]