Sacred Mundane: The Blog

For those of you who might wonder if and when my proposed book, The Sacredness of the Mundane will actually be written (I am included in this group), today I came across a quote that perfectly articulates how I feel:

[speaking of the writing process] “And it always seems that just when daily life seems most unbearable, stretching out before me like a prison sentence, when I seem most dead inside, reduced to mindlessness, bitter tears or both, that what is inmost breaks forth, and I realize that what had seemed “dead time” was actually a period of gestation.”

I am gestating.  What I mean is, I am living.  I am living the sacredness of the mundane, learning, aching, crying, laughing,  growing.  I am finally creating significant margin in my life and able to soak in the Word and prayer.  I’m running and musing and walking and worshipping.  And, quite honestly, I’m hurting.  Jeff and I are talking through some things that have been brewing for some time, things that must be worked through (not with each other just personal things in general).  And, I am beginning to see that first this idea, this vision, is much larger than writing it all down in book form. In fact, I don’t know that I have the writing talent to even compile my ideas into a book that will make its way past my family and faithful blog-followers. But that’s not the point.  The point is that God has asked me to make my life be all about enabling women (and men, Lord willing!)to live out the sacredness of the mundane.

This began to make sense more as recently sat in a women’s ministry meeting.  Joy and I have recently begun to fulfill a leadership role for the women of our church, and as I articulated my heart for women’s ministry–this vision was what flowed out of my mouth.  I hadn’t even planned on sharing it, but I soon realized that if you poke me hard enough I will bleed The Sacredness of the Mundane.  My heart beats, It all matters, it all matters, it all matters.  Upon hearing my heart for this topic, a friend suggested I read a short book entitled The Quotidian Mysteries.  Wow.  It has broken the water and I feel like so much of what was gestating is finally being birthed in my heart and mind.  Of course I’m including the disclaimer that the book certainly isn’t gospel-truth in every regard. But it certainly spoke to my soul. I’m simply including some quotes, mostly so I don’t forget them!  And, so you can savor them rather than scarfing them down like fast-food, I’ll only include a few each day:

“As a human being, Jesus Christ was as subject to the daily as any of us. And I see both the miracle of manna and the incarnation of Jesus Christ as scandals.  They suggest that God is intimately concerned with our very bodies and their needs, and I doubt that this is really what we want to hear. Our bodies fail us, they grow old, flabby and feeble, and eventually they lead us to the cross. How tempting it is to disdain what God has created, and to retreat into comfortable gnosticism…[Christianity] views he human body as our God-given means to salvation, for beyond the cross God has effected resurrection.”  p. 11-12

[On creating spiritual disciplines of prayer, study of the Word, meditation,worship]:  “Workaholism is the opposite of humility…I know from bitter experience that when I allow busy little things to fill the precious time of early morning, when contemplation might flourish, I open the doors to the demon of acedia (spiritual torpor).  Noon becomes a blur–no time, no time–the wolfing down of a sandwich as I listen to the morning’s phone messages and plan the afternoon’s errands.  When evening comes I am so exhausted that vespers (evening prayer) becomes impossible. It is as if I have taken the world’s weight on my shoulders and am too greedy, and too foolish, to surrender it to God.” p. 25

Do I look happier?  A little more rested perhaps?  Can you tell my son had 12 hours of uninterrupted nighttime sleep last night?

I’ve discovered the secret to my naptime/bedtime woes: a child-safety doorknob lock.  Now before you shake your head at me and think I’ve gone all soft on discipline, let me just say I really tried to hold out. I didn’t believe in getting one of the door-things because I wanted Dutch to exercise self-control.  We never bought the cabinet locks, and I still think that it’s better to train the behavior rather than change the environment.

However, after a week of this ridiculous, time-consuming, frustrating naptime and bedtime ritual, I started to wonder if maybe this was a bit silly.  Dutch wasn’t getting any sleep so he was extra cranky. We weren’t getting sleep so we were extra cranky.  Not a good combo.  We just weren’t getting anywhere.  Then I mentioned to Jeff, “You know we could just get one of those child-safety doorknob locks.”  It was classic. Jeff looks at me as if I’ve been keeping the biggest secret in the world. It was right out of Dumb and Dumber when Lloyd says to Harry, “You want this extra pair of gloves I have on? My hands are getting a little sweaty.”  A doorknob lock!  Who knew?

Well, I knew.  So with the hearty approval of my husband, we drove to Target last night with Heidi and the Monkey in tow. I have to admit I felt a little guilty when we had this conversation: “Dutch, you want to go on a fun adventure tonight?!”  “Yeah!” he shouts delighted and runs to the door.  And then even guiltier when we were walking through the store, picked out the lock, and Dutch’s eyes lit up because he thought it was a toy for him.  We didn’t lie. It was for him.  And it’s kind of a toy in a funny sort of way.  So all the drive home he played with his new “toy” in the backseat, sweet naive boy–like giving a man handcuffs to play with.

Now before you think me completely cruel, please finish reading. This was for his good!  We put the lock on, did our bedtime routine, read books, snuggled, prayed, then left the room as usual.  Then waited.  Sure enough, 30 seconds later we hear the click of him trying to get out.  And then, as he realized what had happened, he went ballistic and started crying. My heart broke. “Mommmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyy!  Mommmmmmmmmmyyyyyyy!”  After a couple minutes I couldn’t take it so Jeff said he’d take care of and I left and went running.  Jeff happily reported that 2 or 3 minutes later, Dutch gave up and went right to sleep.

This morning, when we went in at 8am to get him up, he jumped out of bed with a huge smile on his face and exclaimed, “I happy!”  Oh, dear boy, not as happy as me…

I suspect that after a few weeks, we won’t even need the safety lock anymore. In fact a friend of mine just told me she used one for a few weeks and then took it off and hasn’t needed it since.  The habit is learned.  I guess sometimes we just need a little intervention.

And not to overspiritualize everything (although we could never overspiritualize, in my opinion), I think the lesson is well taken.  Don’t we all sometimes, when struggling with an issue in our lives, need some external internvention to help us walk a path of righteousness?  Yes, only God can change us from the inside, but that certainly doesn’t mean we shouldn’t use every means possible to help us live the most godly lives possible.  If your eye causes you to sin, cut it out!  I think of the scene where Kirk Cameron takes a sledgehammer to his computer in Fireproof.  When we’re weak, we’re WISE to use whatever means possible to help us flee sin.  And, Lord, willing, as we grow and mature we’ll no longer need those external interventions.

Back in college and before I got married I used to struggle with food.  I was first too skinny then not so skinny.  My freshman year I weighed 105 lbs. and when I got married I weighed 142 lbs.  Now I’m a happy 125 and seem to bounce back to that no matter what–just my natural weight.  But as I worked through that difficult season I had to set up external boundaries to keep myself in check. Not weighing myself too often, not keeping certain foods in the house, having an accountability partner.   It feels kind of embarrassing to admit now, because that season is so long gone.  By God’s grace now food just seems like necessary fuel to help me keep up with chasing my son around, or a way to bring people together for fellowship, or a sweet treat in the midst of a mundane day.  I don’t even weigh myself anymore, and I enjoy exercise for fun and to be healthy and because it makes me feel good and relieves stress, not because I’m obsessing over my weight.  I’m free now, but I wasn’t always. And in the beginning, I had to have those external interventions to help me get on the right track.  I’m certainly not perfect in this area, but I do believe that God blessed my wholehearted efforts to honor Him with my body.  Whatever area of struggle we have, it’s worth the drive to Target for the child-safety lock in our lives.

So, I hope that someday my son has the freedom to stay in his room when he’s supposed to, without a silly door-lock. But for today, we’ll use the lock, and enjoy the freedom…and the sleep.

*NOTE: After I wrote this I was thinking that it might sound like I’m implying that anyone struggling with their weight is not honoring God with their body…Not true! I know many people who are WAY more careful and diligent in their diet and exercise than I and just still battle.  I know it’s not that simple. Just using that as an illustration from my own life. Hope that makes sense…

Although most of you have probably already heard through my facebook status and text message frenzies–our counteroffer was accepted! Sale Pending! And, we were able to lock in a good interest rate on Friday, which means that now we get to “relax” (relatively speaking) and watch God complete our special new little home.  Lord willing our Corvallis house will close September 1st and our new home wil close September 14th. What amazing timing! We are still in awe of God’s goodness to us.  Plus, although we didn’t get as much as we’d hoped to out of the house, we got–almost to the dollar–what we needed to close the new house and pay off a small school loan from seminary that had been subsidized until this month. Thank you, God.

–On a completely different note, in the midst of our house-sale celebration I got a nightmare on my face.  Yes.  Right now I am sitting in bed with 12 white dots of calamine lotion and an ice pack on my cheek.  To my horror (I know this sounds gross), my long-term friend the bizarre bump on my face somehow got infected and how it’s swollen up HUGE and red and hurts so bad I can’t sleep on that side of my face.  Then, the next day it was so hot we left the doors open and apparently the mosquitos went crazy and I woke up with TWELVE mosquito bites on my face.  Yes.  You can imagine between the giant bright red crazy bump and the 12 bright red bites I looked in the mirror and felt like I was in a horror movie. What happened to my face?!!   I also had another 15 or 16 now on my arms and hands.  Needless to say I marched over to Safeway and bought Off! and calamine lotion. Nothing like spraying on the Off before going to bed in your apartment. 🙂

I know, I’m vain.  I know, I’m wimpy. But my face hurts so bad I can’t sleep.  So anyway, they got me on antibiotics for the infection and I”m hoping someday soon I won’t look like a monster.  Why am I sharing this? Partly because I’m hoping someone can find some humor in it and maybe feel oddly encouraged knowing no matter who bad you might feel about yourself at this particular moment, I PROMISE your face looks better than mine right now! 🙂

The other fun thing is that someone had apparently kidnapped our sweet son and left us with a crazy-boy instead.  The boy won’t sleep and it’s making for difficult days and nights!  For 2 1/2 years we’ve had this sleeping thing down. And now he won’t sleep!  And yes, I’ve been praying! Yes, I’ve snuggled. I’ve read stories. I’ve held the door shut (yes).  I’ve opened the curtains. I’ve closed the curtains. I’ve sp-nked.  In the middle of the night it’s like having a puppy. Last night I’m sleeping and all of a sudden I feel something on my feet.  What the? Then it slowly wiggles up, up, up, and next thing I know his little warm self is snuggled up right next to me, then his little wiggly self edges me off the bed.  I finally gave up, left him there, and I went and slept alone in his bed!  Enough!  Anyway, tonight getting him into bed took 2 hours of perseverence. Naptime today took 2 hours.  This is getting old.

So I know these things are m-i-n-o-r but between not sleeping because of my enormous throbbing cyst, and not sleeping because my crazy son won’t sleep, I’m tired and my face itches like crazy and wouldn’t you know it, Jeff is preaching this weekend.

So Jeff says that all of our trials and suffering are working for us. They are producing character, hope, they are drawing us to Christ. They are preparing us for seasons of ministry and leadership. They are entering us into the fellowship of Christ.  I agree. I really do.  I’m just wondering what my frightful face and insomniac son are working for me right now. I suppose it’s showing me my vanity and impatience.  I don’t know.  I think the real reason I’m writing this is because my blog listens better than anyone else I know. 🙂

Thank You, God for my crazy face and my crazy boy.  Give me patience.  Help me not complain.  Goodnight.

Ministry is hard.  I don’t mean that it’s not glorious and awesome, obviously Jeff and I both think there’s nothing else we’d rather give our life to, but it certainly isn’t always easy.

In the midst of praying about some ministry situations, I’m going through our Women’s Bible study workbooks, which is on attending the Bride of Christ, studying how our service in the church is really us preparing Christ’s Bride (the church) for His return.  Now I think one of the trickiest things in ministry is figuring out what to do and what not to do. There area  million “good” things to do. And there are a million people to serve.  But you can’t do it all! And you can’t serve them all! And for every person there is a different set of preferences, needs, desires.  Trying to figure it all out can make us what to throw up our hands and tell everyone to fend for themselves!

Yesterday I read this sentence in my Bible study book: “We must rediscover what’s most important to the divine bridegroom, exchanging unproductive religious activity for actions that are wholly focused on pleasing Him, actions that truly prepare for His return.”

I remember my own wedding a little more than six years ago.  Though it was far from glamorous and sophisticated, I have absolutely no regrets about how the wedding went, and I owe that to one thing–I wanted everything to be about blessing Jeff (and our union) and glorifying God.  Instead of buying an expensive dress, I borrowed one from a friend for free (and it was gorgeous!).  Instead of renting an expensive facility, we married in my parents’ yard (which was gorgeous). Jeff specifically requested that I not have professional hair and makeup because he wanted me to just look like myself, which I happily agreed to (professional hair and makeup people scare me), so that was free.  We made our own invitations (which Jeff designed–he love that sort of thing).  We served limeade instead of punch because that’s Jeff’s favorite.  We had a drum roll during our first kiss (woohoo!).  Jeff had the awesome idea to do “JK museum” as centerpieces for each table instead of flowers or candles, so we had a different fun item that represented our relationship, along with a framed little explanation.  For example, on one table we had a stack of our favorite books, another table had our laptops because we loved to dork out together and study side-by-side. Another had a few of our old, worn Bibles.  Another one had our letterman jackets because we both loved sports, another had the lite-brite he had used to propose to me.  Another had a picture of our most ridiculous faces (I have a monkey face that will bring you to tears).  It was just a fun, silly way to share with the guests little bits of our love for each other–to tell the story of our love. For the actual service, we with worship songs.  At the end of the ceremony, Jeff’s best man (a pastor) shared the gospel and gave an invitation to receive Christ. Three people gave their lives to Jesus that day.

And let me just say there were plenty of moments that we felt some opposition to our less-than-traditional ideas.  But over and over I kept reminding myself: this wedding isn’t for the guests, the family, the bridesmaids.  It is about my Jeffrey and my Jesus, the love of my life, and making everything about this day revolve around his joy and His glory.

I thought of that yesterday when I read that sentence.  It’s so easy to get caught up wanting all the wedding guests to be happy.  Will they be impressed? Will my wedding stand out?  What about the groom??! It is so sad that often the groom is the least-considered person in a wedding.

So I know there is a balance, because in ministry we are to meet the needs of the people we serve. And yet, I’m so thankful for this reminder that ultimately, every single bit of this “wedding preparation” called ministry should be filtered through this: Is it for the Groom or for the guests?  Does this truly please Him and prepare His people for His return?  Do we cater to the people? Or do we cater to Christ?  Thankful for the new perspective, I pray for grace to live it out.