Sacred Mundane: The Blog

So I mentioned yesterday I’ve been reading the ESV Bible, and as I read 2 Corinthians 7, where Paul is sharing his love and joy with the church at Corinth, the way they translated verse four stood out to me:  “…I have great pride in you…I am overflowing with joy.”  Pride?  It actually says “I’m proud of you” in the Bible?  Why yes it does.  Perhaps it is has more of the connotation of being pleased, but I like that they use the word pride because it demonstrates that feeling we get when someone we love so deeply makes us proud because he or she is so spectacular.  Every single day I tell Dutch how proud I am of him.  And I am. The way he tries not to cry when he gets hurt, the way he says I’m sorry (after he’s naughty, yes!), the way he tries new things and experiments stacking Legos and eats with a spoon and dries his hands on the kitchen towel.   

But today I just want to say I’m so proud of my husband.  Even as I write the words my eyes are filling with tears.  I have watched him walk through trying times.  Though the past few years have been challenging for me, I know that I can’t even understand how hard it must have been for Jeff.  To be 30 and unemployed, working as an unpaid intern, living with his in-laws, feeling shelved by God.  I don’t want to go into all of it, but my heart wells up with pride when I think of how he never demanded status, position, esteem in the eyes of men.  He took the low seat, he served silently, he held his tongue often, and he faithfully chose to love me despite my complaining, doubting, and struggling.  He has been slow to speak, quick to listen, slow to wrath.  I recently did something really stupid (I’ll share the story later) that hurt no one but him.  He refused to get ticked off, refused to make it a big deal.  He laughed, shrugged his shoulders, and moved on when many a husband would have been furious. I am honored to be the wife of Jeff Patterson.

And now, now that he is in a position of authority and honor, he’s the same Jeff.  He laughs at himself, he still takes the low seat, he still refuses to take himself too seriously.   When I see the way that he’s presently being treated by his new church staff team, so honored and respected, it brings me to tears because I know no other man who deserves it more.  His only request now that we actually have a good income?  Socks without holes in them. 🙂 Yup.   That’s my Jeffrey.  I know there will be plenty more bumps and bruises ahead, but at this particular point in the game I’m just thankful.

Jeff always says he “married up.”  Let me say today that I am the one who married up.  Jeff, I love and respect you more than any man.  Thank you for your faithfulness to God, to me, and to Dutch.  I’m so proud of you. 

I’m thinking today about the glorious things that God has done through less than God-fearing men. 

1. Eli was a pretty miserable father but God used him to raise up Samuel the prophet.

2. Saul was a horribly ungodly man, but through his stupidity God made His man, David.  There was loss. Great loss. But God was victorious in fashioning David and using Him for His glory.

3. Nebuchadnezzar

I finally gave in and began reading a different Bible.  No, not the New World Translation, don’t worry :-).  My beloved NKJV study BIble literally fell apart at the seams.  Psalm 139 to Romans 8 completely fell out, (that’s a pretty important portion of scripture!) and bits of Ephesians had disintegrated.  Everytime I took it to church or school I had to hold it gingerly with both hands, afraid it would all fall apart into the heap on the floor.  But I didn’t want to let it go! It had been with me through When God Broke My Heart, it had traveled the Road to Santa Clara, it had perservered through the 4.5 years of feeling shelved by God.  This thing had notes and markers and tears on its pages.  Plus, I knew where everything was!

But it was time. The Bible was not only falling apart, but it was also huge, which made carrying it around impractical considering the wipes, diapers, snacks, and toys that are also stuffed into my oversized purse.  So I gave in.  Jeff gave me a slimline ESV (his favorite translation). 

I admit I’m still not sold.  I think I might still take my old Bible when I teach, for comfort’s sake, but I will admit that for my daily Bible reading, having a new Bible, and a new translation, helps me read with brand new eyes.  I was too familiar with the pages before, and now the words read differently, look different, sound different, strike me differently.  I’m finding that it’s helpful for seeing things again for the first time.

—-Anyway…now onto our topic.

In our internship class yesterday we were talking about stress in ministry.  The #1 hindrance to managing stress in our lives was the inability to say “no.”  Or at least, the inability to say no to the right things!  So I was reading Luke this morning and I read about Jesus’ packed schedule:

“And when it was day, he departed and went into a desolate place.  ANd the people sought him and came to him, and would have kept him from leaving them, but he said to them, ‘I must preach the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns as well; for I was sent for this purpose.'” Luke 4:42-43

Jesus 1) knew when to get away and be alone, and 2) knew when to say no.  He was on a divine schedule, knew His divine purpose, and was never hurried, harried, or thwarted from his purpose.  He never ran, was never late, and never complained about not having enough time in the day.

So today I’m reminding myself that God has allotted exactly the right amount of time to accomplish those things which He has ordained for me to do.  No more, no less. 

As Jeff and I transition into an even fuller life, filled with school and ministry and holidays and then two kids (!), I’m praying for grace to walk in the way Jesus did.  Knowing when to get alone, knowing when to say no, walking according to the divine schedule and purpose of the Father.  No need to buy another book on managing stress.  Just ask Jesus.

So during this time of waiting, I felt two things. First, I just figured that whichever one came up first (obviously the church planting one), then that would be God’s answer, that way I wouldn’t have to make the decision. Secondly, if I HAD to choose, which I didn’t plan on doing, I thought the church plant was the more holy choice because it seemed much harder, scarier, and riskier.

But my aunt Linda, an amazing woman of God whom I adore, kept asking about every detail (we’d been with her at the beach when we received the email about the Executive Pastor position), and she kept saying over and over, “I think you’re going to have to choose.  I really believe God’s going to have you choose. And…furthermore, I believe that it’s going to be sooner than you think, I think they’re not going to do the nation-wide search, so I think you’re going to have to choose.”  Well that was nice and all, since she’s my aunty and she loves me, but I knew realistically that no, we weren’t going to have to choose because the Willamette thing was just too far away and our chances were too slim.  Just no way.  But she kept saying that.

Then, when I thought the church plant thing was a done deal, I had a meeting with my mentor professor. I told her about it and she smiled and said, “Great! Are you excited?!”  And it caught me so off guard I about fell out of my chair.  Excited? What did she mean excited? I mean, this was serving God stuff. It wasn’t about me.  It didn’t matter whether I got excited or not, it was just about me dutifully serving God, right?  So I stumbled about and said something like, “Of course I’m excited. I mean, this is ministry, it’s what we’re called to do.  Yeah…”  But the question haunted me.  I’d done plenty of things in life that didn’t make me excited, so why did it strike me this time?  Hm.

Then, the day before the elders of Willamette were supposed to meet, I had another meeting with my mentor professor (yes, God uses her!).  As I explained the two situations, she responded with saying, “I have this feeling that God wants you to choose.”  Hm…I’d heard this before.  She shared more, which I reflected on and wrote about HERE, in When God Let’s Us Choose. What I realized, through reflecting on this apparent “choice” (though at this point I didn’t think I really had a choice), was that deep deep down, if I was really honest with myself, I was really hoping that the church plant thing would fall through so that we could wait and hope for the Willamette job.  I felt like the church plant thing was the holier choice, the “take up your cross” sort of choice, whereas the Willamette church was what I really wanted so that couldn’t be the right one, right?  When I sat down and talked to JEff about it, I discovered he felt the same way.  We both really wanted the Willamette job, but it seemed too good (and distinctly not offered to us!).

So on Tuesday we attended our school’s Day of Prayer, and on the way home just prayed specifically that if these feelings and insights we were having were from God that He would make something happen with Willamette before the church plant people got back to us so at least we’d have something to go on.  That afternoon Willamette contacted Jeff and asked if he could come in the next day to discuss the next steps.  That sounded hopeful, so Jeff scheduled a meeting.

That day, I was out taking a friend to a doctor’s appointment, and Jeff worked, so we were busy going our separate ways.  My parents were watching Dutch, and as I drove home, about 2 hours after Jeff’s Willamette meeting was scheduled to begin, my cell phone rang. It was Jeff.

“Hey hon.”  (I’d learned enough lessons in disappointment to know not to get my expectations up.)

“Do you want to take your parents to dinner?…”  I waited, not wanting to jump to conclusions.  “They offered me the JOB!!!!!”  My jaw dropped. Seriously?!!!  Then I screamed.  Then I cried.  Yeah, pretty much amazed.

We had to wait a couple weeks, due to busy schedules and vacations, in order to sit down again and sign papers regarding our salary, etc.  (You can read about my doubts and fears here, in Great is our God) But when the time came, we were blessed beyond what we’d ever imagined.  In the past few weeks, they have showered us with love.  We even had the joy of going to a welcome luncheon with all the church staff this past week, where we felt embraced, welcomed, and instantly a part of a family.

So tomorrow Jeff starts his new job as Associate Pastor at Willamette Christian Church (he’s now the Associate Pastor developing into Executive Pastor…a brilliant plan for him to get trained, acclimated, and adjusted to everything there at WCC).  Our value, status, and worth has not changed once bit from when we were unemployed students living at my parents house.  As he wrote in his memoirs, Jeff’s worth does not come from a title, position, or salary.  Our value, worth, and identity comes from Christ Alone.  He is our Light, our Strength, our Song.  We are thankful for this new opportunity for increased influence, and we’re thankful for the very real blessing of a paycheck (and health insurance starting February 1st, just 2 weeks before Heidi is due! Talk about God’s amazing timing!!!).

So as turn this corner, we anticipate new challenges, joys, sorrows.  We’re praying daily for God to simply make us faithful, thankful, and humble.  We pray that He would keep us ever mindful of all He has done, of His greatness, His beauty, His glory.  We pray He would find us faithful, in whatever capacity He has us in.  We pray that we would be a blessing to the people of WCC and to the community there.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for praying. Thanks for joining us on the journey. It’s certainly not over! In fact, it’s only begun…