LiveDifferent Challenge (28): Pen, Paper, and 42-cents
When was the last time you received a hand-written letter? For most of us, we may not even remember. Or perhaps you’re scratching your head, wondering what I’m even talking about. You know, that thin flimsy stuff called paper, tucked inside a folded up little paper container called an envelope, and delivered by hand to your mailbox. That’s a letter.
I had the joy of receiving, out of the blue, a hand-written card this week, and not just a card where the sender signs at the bottom and lets Hallmark say the rest, but a letter-in-a-card, the kind that’s filled with that amazing, barely discernable stuff we call hand-writing. And I tell you, there’s something about a hand-written note or letter that does what no email can do. There is something so meaningful about seeing that hand-written envelope, in the midst of the mound of junk mail, and realizing that while the rest of the world might want your money (via bills, donations, or credit cards), there is someone out there who took the time, the energy, and the forty-two cents, to sit down and write to you just because they love you.
A wonderful professor of mine, who is also a senior pastor, shared that for the 25 years that he’s been a pastor, he makes it a habit, every Monday, to write 5 hand-written notes to people in his congregation. Either thank yous, encouragement, or just a note to say he cares, he keeps his eye out during the week to see who might be blessed by a a little extra something. He said his wife does the same thing with the church directory each week, praying through the names and asking God who might benefit from a personalized note of love. I dare say that no matter what this pastor preached from the pulpit, the people in his congregation felt loved and blessed.
So our challenge this week is to write one, just one, hand-written letter or card. In a world that is driven by electronic, impersonal communication (and usually for the purpose of selfish gain!), writen an old-fasioned letter for the sake of the recipient. Ask for nothing, just give a little of yourself. You’ll be surprised at how much you gain in return.
The Disappointment Cycle
As you know, my theme and topic for some time has been exploring the idea of Expectancy without Expectation. After wading through about 4 1/2 years of disappointment, I began to realize that my recurring disappointments were closely related to my expectations. Expectation leads to disappointment. Expectancy is the opposite of expectation. Expectancy is believing that God is going to do glorious things, Expectation is telling God what those things are.
So I feel like all the dots are finally connecting in terms of understanding the disappointment cycle. I know this isn’t rocket science, but having all the pieces put together into a diagram really helps my thinking and helps me be better able to determine if I’m hoping in a circumstance or hoping in God, waiting on a person or waiting on God.
The Disappointment Cycle goes like this: FEAR —-> Expectation —–> Disappointment —-> FEAR, etc.
Fear causes us to set up expectations becuase we are afraid that God won’t really do the good things He’s promised, we don’t really believe that He’s able to provide for us or take care of us or do exceedingly abundantly above all we could ever ask or imagine (Eph. 3:20). We don’t believe Him, so we are fearful, because we are fearful, we set up expectations because we’re afraid to surrender and let go, and because we have expectations, we get disappointed, which fuels our fear because we say, “See, God didn’t come through how I wanted Him to. I can’t trust Him.” Then we are more fearful, which leads to more expectations…you get the point.
The Fulfillment Cycle goes like this: FAITH ——-> Expectancy ——-> Fulfillment ——–> FAITH, etc.
True faith (not just believing God for something but believing God period), means that we believe God enough to let go of our expectations, choosing instead to live in expectancy, believing that He will do greater and more glorious things (for His glory) than I could ever imagine, and I don’t have to tell Him what those things should be. Because of this, we experience true expectancy, which pleases God, and we are then allowed to see true fulfillment, perhaps not of what we had in mind, but even greater things as God works His plans in our lives. When we experience glorious fulfillment, our faith is bolstered which gives us even more courage to surrender and trust Him with true expectancy for even more things, and fulfillment comes…you get the point.
Both are cycles, and I believe both can be habits. I’m certainly well acquainted with the disappointment cycle–I’ve got that one down pat. But I’m just now climbing on the Fulfillment cycle, and praying God will help me learn how to ride it with as much consistency as I used to ride the other. Grace, Lord!
I’m not there yet, but I’m on the way. And praise God for moments of clarity, when we can see the ways we’ve gotten on the disappointment cycle for way too long. I pray we would begin, moment by moment and day by day, to let go of our fear, let go of our expectation, and live in true faith and expectancy, believing God period. He is worthy of our trust. Amen?
Others May, You Cannot
Tomorrow I get to teach the Women’s Ministry class at Multnomah….more on that later. We’re discussing disappointment in ministry, understanding the seasons of silence, of being “shelved”, of isolation. I’m reminded of the special attention that God gives us when we truly want to live for Him. And I was reminded of the fabulous devotional, Others May, You Cannot. I’ve probably read this a thousand times, posted it on fridge, slid it in the cover of notebooks. Oh to remember this! So here it is, a good reminder:
Others May, You Cannot
If God has called you to be really like Jesus, He will draw you to a life of crucifixion and humility, and put upon you such demands of obedience, that you will not be able to follow other people, or measure yourself by other Christians, and in many ways He will seem to let other good people do things which He will not let you do.
Other Christians and ministers who seem very religious and useful may push themselves, pull wires, and work schemes to carry out their plans, but you cannot do it; and if you attempt it, you will meet with such failure and rebuke from the Lord as to make you sorely penitent.
Others may boast of themselves, of their work, of their success, of their writings, but the Holy Spirit will not allow you to do any such thing, and if you begin it, He will lead you into some deep mortification that will make you despise yourself and all your good works.
Others may be allowed to succeed in making money, or may have a legacy left to them, but it is likely God will keep you poor, because He wants you to have something far better than gold, namely, a helpless dependence on Him, that He may have the privilege of supplying your needs day by day out of an unseen treasury.
The Lord may let others be honored and put forward, and keep you hidden in obscurity, because He wants you to produce some choice, fragrant fruit for His coming glory, which can only be produced in the shade. He may let others be great, but keep you small. He may let others do a work for Him and get the credit of it, but He will make you work and toil on without knowing how much you are doing; and then to make your work still more precious, He may let others get the credit for the work which you have done, and thus make your reward ten times greater when Jesus comes.
The Holy Spirit will put a strict watch over you, with a jealous love, and will rebuke you for little words and feelings, or for wasting your time, which other Christians never seem distressed over. So make up your mind that God is an infinite Sovereign, and has a right to do as He pleases with His own.
He may not explain to you a thousand things which puzzle your reason in His dealings with you. But if you absolutely sell yourself to be His…slave, He will wrap you up in a jealous love, and bestow upon you many blessings which come only to those who are in the inner circle.
Settle it forever, then, that you are to deal directly with the Holy Spirit, and that He is to have the privilege of tying your tongue, or chaining your hand, or closing your eyes, in ways that He does not seem to use with others. Now when you are so possessed with the living God that you are, in your secret heart, pleased and delighted over this peculiar, personal, private, jealous guardianship and management of the Holy Spirit over your life, you will have found the vestibule of Heaven.
G.D. Watson, 1845-1924
On Our Knees
Have I mentioned how much I love Saturday night church?! Well I do!
We showed up to church exhausted. Though I have every reason to rejoice, I was just physically and emotionally exhausted today and wanted to crawl into bed around 6pm. Right before walking out the door to church Dutch hit his head so hard it scared me, he was crying and shaking so bad I thought maybe we should stay home. But we went. Oh I’m so glad.
Worshipping our Lord through song, of course, brought me back to the feet of Jesus. But as we sang “I’m falling on my knees, offering all of me…” I thought to myself, “I’m not actually on my knees, I’m standing.” I’m always convicted when I sing things that aren’t true. I mean I might figuratively be on my knees in my heart, but I’m not really on my knees. Anyway, no one else was on their knees…I kept worshipping standing up.
Pastor Joel’s message was on humility. It was a great take on the topic, an unexpected one. He taught on the journey of Peter through the gospels, and on his declarations to never forsake the Lord, followed just hours later by his outright denial of even knowing the Lord. Joel specifically addressed how those of us who are most spiritual, most mature, nearest to Christ perhaps, are those who should take heed lest we fall. It is we who are most susceptible, we who think we are strong who are apt to fall because of pride, because of thinking we’re sailing along just fine.
ANd then as he closed he talked about expressing humility on our knees. My heart lept within me because I had just been thinking about that–the physical act of kneeling. And as we closed in prayer, the entire congregation got down on their knees, humbling ourselves physically before God in an act of dependence.
And it got me thinking how the act of kneeling is sadly missing from Christianity today. I know that I seldom kneel when I pray. I do when I’m really seriously pleading for something, but even that, kind of seems more like begging, huh? But do I ritually get on my knees when I pray? No. I like the couch, thank you very much. But tonight I realized how much our physical posture affects our spiritual posture. When I lean back in my sofa, kick up my feet and talk to God (which is fine, there is a season for that too), what is my posture saying? “Hey God, wasup?!” But when I get on my knees, physically, and pray, it’s a little harder to complain, whine, or ask for ridiculously frivolous things. Somehow physically getting on my knees brings perspective before a word comes out of my mouth.
So tonight Jeff and I made a goal to kneel every night together as we pray. Just once a day. I’ll still pray while I’m driving, sitting, walking … but once a day we kneel, we bow, we recognize our dependence on our creator, and ask Him to keep us in the right posture before Him. How much our attitudes would change perhaps if we really would just kneel before Him more often.
Another idea? Read God’s word on your knees. What a reminder that we don’t stand above the word of God, picking and choosing what to apply, but we humbly kneel before HIs word, embracing what He says, placing it above our own judgement and preferences. My goal and purpose is to spend more time on my knees, really physically on my knees. If I can get myself down, God can take over from there.
“Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the LORD our Maker. ” Psalm 95:6