LiveDifferent Challenge (27): More on Others, Less on Me
It’s no secret that Americans are trying to figure out how to spend less in our current economic crunch. Good! It’s about time. We’re in our current debaucle because of our own greed (but more on that later), so things that make us wake up and take inventory of our spending are welcomed in my opinion. Since money’s on the mind, it’s no wonder that two different major magazines ran articles this month featuring experiments on spending no money for a certain length of time. The first artcle (click to read) was featured in October’s Reader’s Digest . (The large print edition was in the doctor’s office lobby while I waited for an appointment with a friend. It was that or the Smithsonian. Large print RD won out.) In it the Hochman family goes an entire month without spending any dispensable income. They pay their bills, etc. But no food (other than milk and fresh fruit), no gas, no parking meters, nothing. Apparently they had been a family that was out of control in spending. It was staggering to see how much they could go without, and their experience surfaced the moral that they became richer living on less. They went for walks instead of movies, cruised Costco for free samples and left without purchasing a thing, and went to the libarary instead of hitting the local Blockbuster. A few lifesavers, like neighbors whose wireless wasn’t password protected, carried them through a few times, and they were blessed by what they learned.
The second story surprised me. This one, featured in Real Simple (click here to read), told of a man who went one week without spending a cent. The difference was that this man was already a cheapskate. And he took the challenge alone–his wife and daughter were exempt, so already there are some big differences. The moral of his story was surprising, he realized how miserable he was being able to do nothing, buy nothing, give nothing to the people he loved. He realized it felt horrible to always have to ask your buddy to pick up the check, to drive by the homeless person and have nothing to give, to tell your wife happy birthday but give her nothing (yes, ahem, he could have had a little more foresight and planned his no-spending week around his wife’s birthday! This man apparently has other shortcomings…). But he soon realized that his motivation for his thriftiness had been selfish, and that restricting himself in such a way that made it impossible to give and bless others, was miserable.
Interestingly different outcomes from two similar experiments. The neat thing is that both experiments surfaced the issue that really needed to change: overspending and selfish stinginess, respectively. And what’s the key? Spending money was fulfilling when it was spent more on others, less on oneself. Living within our means is the overarching key, but within our means, we have a choice whether we’ll use what he have building our kingdom or GOd’s kingdom. Blessing ourselves (which is one of the most depressing things to do) or blessing others. I have been so richly blessed by others’ generosity. My surprise maternity wardrobe, lunch yesterday from a friend, hand-me-down clothes from my neice, an entertainment book from my aunt…little things that have blessed me so much.
So rather than just make the goal, “spend less”–let’s evaluate how we spend less. By cutting back on generosity? Not so much. By cutting back on self? Sure. When our goal is building God’s kingdom and blessing each other, I bet we’d be surprised by how the resources we have go farther than we ever imagined…funny how that works.
When God Lets Us Choose
Click here to read When God Lets Us Choose, my recent thoughts and reflections on our gracious sweet Father and some decisions in life…
A White Towel
Tonight Jeff and I visited a church in West Linn. We’ve been there three times and every time I have cried my way through the whole service. I know it’s not that the church is magic, but through incredible worship and great teaching, God has just profoundly ministered to me in personal ways each time. Plus, we’ve connected with people right away. It just feels like a breath of fresh air (plus Dutch loves playing in the nursery–how can you top that?). It’s fun to have a Saturday night church service where we just show up and receive. I love serving and ministering, but it’s sure a blessing to just sit and breathe in sometimes too, you know?
Tonight there was a guest speaker, a guy from Woodlands church in Texas, associate pastor to Kerry Shook who wrote One Month to Live. I find it highly unfortunate that Joel Osteen endorses this book…because it really sounds like a great creative tool. Not that he ruins it, but I think of Ecclesiastes 10:1 ” Dead flies putrefy the perfumer’s ointment, And cause it to give off a foul odor; So does a little folly to one respected for wisdom and honor.” Sorry, not that Joel Osteen is a dead fly, but I find it hard to believe that Jesus would preach Your best life now…in fact I distinctly remember Jesus saying our best life comes later…
Anyway, I’m not letting the endorsement ruin the fact that God greatly ministered to me tonight. The guest speaker has himself been greatly impacted and he shared the story of TerriLynn (you can click there to watchher video testimony). After 30 years of marriage, her husband served her divorce papers on Christmas day. Her two sons were away at college, and she was left alone–he husband took everything. Three months later, she received a call that her son had been murdered. Murdered. In three months everything was stripped away. She read through this book and took to heart the part about Forgive Completely. She was so challenged she chose and continues to work through real, true, complete forgiveness. So much so that when she was allowed to make a statement at her son’s murderer’s trial (he pled guilty), she stood and read a page long statement about grace, forgiveness, and the gospel. She prayed for her son’s murderer, and proclaimed that if his life was changed, saved by Christ, and used to turn others to Jesus, then her son’s death was not in vain. Her statement was so incredible that the judge requested a copy, insisting that he’d never heard anything of its kind in his entire career as judge.
As a result, she prayed for her son’s murderer. He contacted the prison chaplain and gave his life to Christ. Weeks later he was baptized. She has remained in contact with him. She has come to know that he had no family, no parents to raise him, no one. After several months of communication with her, he timidly asked if she would please consider, if she would not be offended, that since he had never had a mother, if he would call her Mom. She agreed. She has committed to praying for him, as her own. She has rejoiced seeing him grow in Christ, earn a GED, and begin sharing his faith with others. The genuine joy in her life is astonishing…as if he were her own son, when in reality he is the one who took the very life of her own son. That is amazing grace.
Understanding forgiveness. Our text for the service was John 13, Jesus washing the disciples feet. And the message on forgiveness, of understanding how GREAT, how COMPLETE, how AWESOME is our forgiveness in CHrist, brought me to tears, weeping through the songs we sang at the close, as we took part in communion and shared in CHrist’s body and blood. Oh that Jesus would never let my heart grow calloused to how great is His gift!! Oh that I would never be the ungrateful servant who refuses to forgive others when I have been forgiven so much! Oh that He would keep my heart tender and soft and responsive to Him.
At the end of the sermon, we were each given a small white towel, spotless, brilliantly white, clean. It was meant as a reminder of Jesus’ humble act, washing the disciples feet, but also as a reminder of how spotlessly brilliantly clean we are in Christ. Though our sins were as scarlet He’s made us white as snow (Isaiah 1:18). How perfect and spotless this white towel is, that I clutched to my chest as I thought of my Jesus, who gave His all so my towel would be white.
So I’m thankful tonight. I haven’t read the book, not sure if I will (I know, goes back to that thing with me and only reading dead people’s books). But I was certainly ministered to by the story of TerriLynn, of her remarkable example of extending the grace that we have received, and of a fresh reminder, in the form of a towel, of Christ’s effective and glorious work on the cross. We’ve been forgiven much. Lord, let us love much.
Results-Driven Ministry
For my last teaching assignment this term at Multnomah (I love to teach, but I’m glad this is the last one–it wears me out!), my mentor asked me to share some on what I taught at the last women’s retreat–the God of Disappointment–specifically as it relates to ministry. As I’ve been thinking and praying through what “Expectancy without Expectation” means in the ministry realm, the thing that comes back to me over and over is that we are constantly in danger of engaging in Results-Driven Ministry.
Results-Driven Ministry, very obviously, occurs what we do is determined by the results that are achieved … a subtle form of pragmatism. We do “what works”, and we determine success based on a set of goals or checklist that we formulate in our minds. If we see something that “God is blessing” in another church or ministry, we adopt a similar method.
And this relates to the idea of living in Expectancy without Expectation in relation to our ministry involvement. Expectancy is believing God for great things. Expectation is telling God what those things are. So as I think back through the study on understanding Disappointment, I think of how often my disappointments are nothing more than faulty expectations, doing ministry for the sake of results, rather than for sake of obedience, leaving the results to God.
Lastly, Jeff got me thinking about faithfulness and fruitfulness. We know that we are rewarded according to our faithfulness not according to our fruitfulness because fruitfulness is determined by God alone. However, he brought up a good point, that our fruitfulness will ALWAYS exceed what it “should” in relation to our faithfulness. Meaning, we will never be faithful enough to deserve how fruitful God makes us. Oh boy this is true! I think of some amazingly fruitful ministry experiences–the women’s retreat, teaching, discipleship. How little I was faithful! Really, if only you know how little I pray, how little I am disciplined and consistent, how little I am faithful…and yet how gracious God is to make us fruitful. We have our perspective WAY skewed if we actually think that our teeny acts of faithfulness actually are proportionate to how fruitful God allows us to be. We are “adoring spectators” in God’s work rather than instruments. It’s all His work
So, just preliminary thoughts. I want do dive into this a little more. Just starting to connect the dots. Food for thought.