Sacred Mundane: The Blog

Favorite Scene of the Day:  Dutch, sitting all by himself, totally oblivious to the fact that I was watching him.  Sitting in the shade with his pudgy little legs wrapped around a colander filled with fresh blueberries, popping them one by one happily in his mouth and smacking his lips as he savors the summer sweetness.  Bliss.

Silver Linings:  After a cloudless day, Jeff and I were lying on a beach towel on the grass while Dutch played next to us in his sand box.  A thick, puffy white cloud came rolling in, covering the sun, but the silver lining was shockingly bright.  The cloud was thick enough to totally eclipse the brightness of the sun, except for that brilliant lining, all the way around the thick cloud, almost blindingly bright.  I’m praying for silver linings this week, whatever it brings.

PS One FULL week, seven days, without throwing up and without a single migraine.  Still plenty nauseated, but no puke and no migraines makes a HUGE difference!  Thank You, God!

I am so blessed by my husband.  I don’t applaud him enough on here; and I realize how much I take for granted all that he does.  He is probably the most serving person I have met.  He is always looking for ways to make others feel comfortable, to help them with a problem, to seek out the person in the corner and talk to them.  He cares nothing for his own status, appearance, ego.  He lives what he preaches–he genuinely loves to serve, love, learn about, and live for God more than anything else in the world.  He expects so little–whether it’s dinner or a clean house; he’s content with “scraps” as he calls it (just throw some scraps in a bag for my lunch, he says). He’s just content.  And he’s painstakingly devoted to recycling–what a cool guy!  So for him I am thankful.

The latest cool thing that my husband does is that he now rides his bike to work.  He has a 1/2 time job working at our church (hence the prayers for a full-time job), so he goes in 4 days a week (that adds up to more than 1/2 time in my calculations, but that’s another story).  Our second car went kaput in December, so for 6 months we maneuvered jobs and school and life with one car, which was an adventure, but it worked.  But for his 30th birthday, generous friends and parents partnered with me to get Jeff his dream–a Marin commuter bike (which was $100 cheaper in June!).  Spendy, but not compared to a car! Then, my husband who loves to take trash and turn it into treasure, took a sturdy plastic milk crate, spray painted it matte black to match his bike, then bolted it onto the back of the bike, creating a carrier for his laptop bag and books, extra clothes, and bag lunch. Thus loaded, he pedals the eight miles to work, over the river, up the grueling Coleman hill, and into town.  He can do it in about 29 minutes each way. He makes this trip four times a week, which means that he’s riding an average of 64 miles/week!  Way to go, Jeff!  This also means that we save almost $50 a month on gas.  It might not seem like much, but it provides Jeff with awesome exercise, gives me the luxury of having a car to use if I need, and saves a little money at the same time.  It’s better for the environment as well, but Jeff’s favorite reason is that it just energizes his day.  The 1/2 hour into town gives him a chance to pray, reflect, think, rejoice.  Sometimes he listens to sermons on his ipod (with only one earplug in!), sometimes he just thinks and prays.  He says that by the time he gets to the office he’s so refreshed and energized, he’s ready for the day.  A quick change of clothes, splash of water under the armpits (at least I hope he does that, perhaps I should mention this to him), and an extra layer of deodorant, and he’s good to go!

Jeff laughed when I told him this was our LiveDifferent Challenge because he said it’d be pretty tough for an electrician to practice this, or a mom with kids, or a meter-reader :-)…or a lot of people. I know this isn’t possible for everyone, but my husband’s devotion to ride instead of drive has definitely inspired me and I know perhaps there are creative ways we can cut down on driving and get more exercise instead.  Such as:

1. Plan all your errands so you only use your car once a week for running around.

2. Carpool.

3. If you can, ride your bike to work or take the bus. Walk to the grocery store or to the post office.

4. Trade in your gas guzzler for a fuel efficient car.

5. Instead of driving to the gym every day, go running outside or do a workout video or make up a circuit training routine with stairs, jumprope, pushups, crunches, etc.  Studies show that those who workout at home are actually far more likely to stick with a fitness routine.

These are just ideas. I know these aren’t possible for everyone, but perhaps you could sit down and evaluate your own circumstances and try to think of 2-3 simple ways that you can drive less and perhaps ride or walk more.  For us, necessity is the mother of invention.  But no matter what your situation and even if money is no object, it’s always fun to think of creative ways to LiveDifferent, even if they seem so small.  So put away those car keys, and let’s ride!

Whew! What a day!  Today was a whirlwind of doctor’s appointment, hours spent at the Multnomah library finishing our project, a quick lunch at Taco Bell (this baby must love burritos), then the “in-town-marathon” that we do once a month when we’re in the big town–Winco for a month’s worth of food, Costco (which we skipped this time), Target for miscellaneous, and Macy’s this time for wedding and shower gifts.  It was exhausting, but worth it.  We came home satisfied that we were done!

But this morning was the part of the day that reminded me why this is all worth it.  We first sat down with the billing specialist at the doctor and face facts that this baby is going to cost a lot (please Lord a job with good health insurance?!).  But then we walked down the hall and in matter of moments, the little slimy doppler rubbed around on my belly and there he or she was…swimming around on the little screen, first waving his/her hands then kicking little feet.  Within moments it was over and we were back out the door with our little sheet of pictures…which only parents (and grandparents) can really appreciate (don’t worry, I won’t post them).

But that’s why.  That’s why it’s worth it.  I guess because I needed to be reminded (again!) that it’s not about me.  I’ve prayed often that God would use me to raise up little servants who would change the world for His glory…and even though it feels like there is no grand adventure going on right now, I’m trusting God’s using this for something.  That’s why it’s worth it.

I was also so blessed today by a phone call from a dear friend. This is what blessed me–she didn’t just say, “God knows. It’ll all work out!”  or “I know exactly how you feel” (which she could have).  She just listened, affirmed my feelings, validated how I am feeling by saying that she’d be falling apart right now if it were her.  Little things like that make life work, you know? Just a friend saying, “Yeah, that sure sucks. I’m here with you. Do you want to talk about it?”  Man it blessed me.  Thank you.

I guess it’s worth it because we’re being used for something bigger than us.  Because when we are weak, friends come along and strenghten us, because we get to see Christ in each other.  Because we realize that all my energy is being poured into a little body who is doubling in size week by week.  Because this little child will someday, by the grace of God, praise Him and testify of how great God is.  I guess that’s why it’s worth it.  At least that’s how I see it today. 🙂

I read this in my quiet time:

Have mercy on me, O God, for I am in trouble; my eye wastes away with grief, Yes, my soul and my body! … But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD; I say, “You are my God.”  My times are in Your hand.  Ps. 31:9,14-15

This past week I’ve just felt like, “Ok, enough. I’m tired of living at someone else’s house. I’m tired of not having a steady income. I’m tired of sharing my son. I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of having no idea where our life is going. And I’m tired of people saying, ‘Oh it must be so special for you to get to have Dutch be with his grandparents all the time.'”  Yes, it is special.  Ok, but not so special that I don’t start to just want my own home!  You know?  That’s just how I feel.  Sorry. Griping here. But that’s what I was doing to God.  Saying, “Ok, God! It’s time!  It’s time now!  IT’s been 13 months…too long!  It’s time.”  And then I open His Word and there is this psalm, written thousands of years ago by David who had it way worse that me (he lived in a cave), and somehow articulated my heart.

I am frustrated. I am tired.  I am emotional.  The laundry’s not done, the bathroom is an absolute abomination (even Jeff said yesterday, “It’s really gross in here”, and everytime I open the microwave I want to throw up but don’t have the energy to get out the chisel and start to work.  My son still throws a fit when he wants a cookie, and I feel like all I do is discipline him, then he’s an absolute angel for my parents and smiles and says please.  I’m tired of breastfeeding, I’m tired of cooking, and the hope of a full-time job and a place to live seems to be getting dimmer.

BUT GOD.  That’s Jeff and my life phrase.  But God.  No matter what the above paragraph says, BUT GOD takes the train of thought on a complete 180 and turns it back to God.  But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD, even in the midst of grumpy frustration and waiting, I trust in You, O LORD.  My times are in Your hand.  He knows what’s going on. He knows I’m at the end of my patience and sweetness.  He knows I just cry to Him and say I can’t do it right now.  He knows my times. And my times, every thing and every stage and every season, is in His hands.  He knows when we will move out, and He knows what is best. And somehow He’s decided now is not the time.  So even though it feels like He’s taking a nap right now…I know He’s not.  He never sleeps nor slumbers, but is always working.  Jesus lives to make intercession for us, and He’s praying for me right now, praying I’ll not succomb to my weak and whiny self-centered self, but praying I’ll surrender (again!) to the loving care of God.  He holds my times.

Do you have something you feel like God perhaps forgot about?  Like, We’re trying to have a baby, God–don’t You care?  Or, Why haven’t you healed me, Lord?  Are you able?  Or perhaps, When will you move in this desperate situation, Father?  Are you real?  Whatever it is, I pray that we can somehow turn 180 and resolve, I trust in You, O Lord.  My times are in Your hand.  Remember this. He holds our times.