Sacred Mundane: The Blog

I don’t pray, “Lord, give me a home.” I pray, “Lord, be my home.” 

I’m sitting down here because it’s the only thing I know to do.  For the first time in … I can’t remember how long, I’m at home with myself.  I mean, my mom’s here, but she’s quiet as a mouse sitting downstairs engrossed in her Bible Study.  See, Dad had OSU basketball tickets for today and asked Jeff is he wanted to go along.  Of course he did, and Jeff thought it’d be a grand adventure to take Dutch too–for a man’s day out.  At first I dragged my heels. Did they know what they were getting themselves into?  Our son does not sleep in the car–ever–so in essence they were braving a 7-hour adventure with a napless fourteen month old little boy who never sits still.  But I could tell Jeff was excited about it–and of course it would be a memory for all time.  The day the boys all went to watch the Beavers, Dutch’s first OSU athletics experience.

So, after packing Dutch’s food, sippy cup, extra diaper and wipes, I gave him an early nap, then nursed him and put on his shoes and hat and jacket … he was ready to go. After clicking the straps on the car seat, I stood back and waved goodbye as they drove off. And now…what?  I walked back inside, not sure what to do next.  Lunch. We’ll that’s easy enough.  A roasted yam, a plate of roasted carrots, and a plate of potstickers and my tummy’s happy.  Then a big cup of tea with lemon.  But where should I snuggle up with my tea?  What should I do? 

I don’t remember the last time I had an afternoon alone at home.  Not since Dutch was born.  Even when he’s napping there’s still that sense that he is here, and I quickly do what I can before he wakes back up, staying quiet lest he hear me.  But today, he’s not here.  Back in my old home, I would have a dozen projects just waiting to be tackled … but here I don’t. I suppose I could clean my closet, but it’s not really that bad. I feel like I should do something really significant, I mean–7 hours all to myself!  I’m caught up on homework, the laundry is done, and the fridge is full of food.  The house is clean, I’ve already walked.  Wow.  In a way it’s a great feeling, but it’s kind of strange too. A part of me wants to go shopping, since it’s so rare that I can do that alone. But my practical side reminds me that we have no money and that I don’t need anything … so what’s the point?

So, I’ve narrowed it down to either reading a book, writing a book, or organizing every inch of our little upstairs abode.   I’ll probably do all three, knowing me.  Oh, and I’ve already decided that I’m having chocolate chip cookies for dinner.  If that sounds heavenly to you too, come on over. 🙂

Higher education is higher than ever … cost-wise that is.  Tonight Jeff and I received an email from Multnomah’s president that tuition rates will be raised 4% next year to $423 per credit hour.  That means that one semester of classes (16 credits) will be $6,768 or more than $13,500 for the year.  Jeff’s is a 3-year degree and mine is a 2-year degree. Yeah, do the math.  Seminary totals around $65,000 for the Patterson family and that’s before books and transportation and regular living expenses.  Ouch.  Now, obviously this is a choice, I’m not complaining here.  We consider ourselves incredibly privileged to even have the opportunity to set foot on Multnomah’s campus.  We love it there.  We wouldn’t trade it for anything. But it definitely has a cost. 

We have also been blessed by generous scholarships.  My dad asked me the other day what he thought I’d received in total academic scholarships through my undergraduate and graduate studies.  I’d guess it’s around $52,000 total.  Now THAT is something to be thankful for!!!  Thank you God for generous Foundations like the Ford Family.  Jeff has also received scholarship dollars.  We both graduated from OSU absolutely debt free.  Thank you, God!

So anyway, I bring all this up because rising tuition costs and the rising inability of students to obtain education loans is a hot topic right now. (Click here for an interesting article on this topic) Tonight the news ran stories of Ivy League schools offering free tuition to students holding 4.0gpas who come from families making 100K/year or less and free tuition AND free room and board to students with the same average from familys under 65K/year.  Wow!  Many state schools offer free tuition to students with certain academic standing within that state.  But more and more the cost of higher education is prohibitive for a larger number of students.  When my dad was in college, he worked part time and was able to pay for school with that income.  To do that today is impossible.  The cost of school continues to skyrocket while salaries stay the same. 

So, Jeff and I went ahead and took the plunge and took out school loans this past year to pay for seminary.  Before that, we had both worked full time and paid as we went, with the help of scholarships.  But adding a son to the mix, as well as the desire to finish seminary before we retire (!), means finding other means.  But now, as we listen to the news, consider the catastrophic housing market (the money we plan to pay for school with is invested in houses), we’re considering that perhaps school debt is not the wisest decision … especially for a degree that will place us in a lower paying vocation than we’ve ever had before!  (When Jeff left his engineering job to go to seminary the guys asked him, “Wait, you’re paying how much money to go to school so that you can get a career where you make less money than you do now?!”  I don’t blame them; it doesn’t make much sense.)  But I will say this, even if we decide that we have to go back to the slow route–and Jeff has to plod through seminary at a snail’s pace in order to pay the bills, it is still the most lifechanging experience we have ever had.  School is not the same as experience, and I know that much of ministry is learned through the hard knocks of rubbing shoulders with the dirty greasy realities of life, but the practical, wise, humble, biblical instruction and mentoring that we’re receiving is invaluable–no dollar sign could ever describe its worth.  

So, while I am sad about the rising cost of seminary, and sad to know that it may mean that we can’t continue on for as long as our heart desires (I would LOVE to go back and get an Mdiv which would mean that perhaps someday I could teach at such an institution and Jeff would LOVE to go back someday and get a DMin which would do the same), I am thankful for every ounce of wisdom, every prayer at the beginning of every class, every class discussion, every conversation with professors and students, and every moment I’ve walked hand in hand with my husband across campus.  I’m thankful for the godly, humble men and women who have gotten their hands dirty and waded into life’s messes with us.  I guess what I’m really grateful for is God.  Thank you God, for my college and seminary experience.  It’s been anything but merely cerebral … it’s been devotional and formational.  Thank you God for it. Wherever you take us and whatever you have for us, I’m thankful.  Help Jeff and me and our fellow students take what You’ve given us and distribute it to a lost world with loving and healing hands.  Thanks, God.  Amen.

…Dutch that is.  My life is complete. My son now gives kisses.  Real kisses.

 So today I just had to marvel to myself about how blessed I am.  Each morning, at 8:00am on the dot (I know, I’m spoiled, my son sleeps 12-13 hours at night!), I pause outside Dutch’s door and listen.  From within I can hear his little voice, singing songs to himself or talking, “Dah Dah Dah Dah, Dis, Dat, Dah Dis.”  When I crack open the door and peak inside I can usually find him on his back, with his feet propped up against the side of the crib.  I creep over to the crib, and surprisingly he doesn’t jump up right away. He sees me walk in, and then starts to point to things and talk–telling me about all the adventures he’s had in the night and the stories he’s dreamed up and the marvelous discoveries he’s made.  He always points to the window, where the air vent makes the curtains flutter, and waves his hand back and forth while making a blowing sound.  Then he points at the smoke detector, “Dis!” he shouts at the little green light.  Then he sees the opened door and the glory of the hallway, signalling to this little brave adventurer that the day has begun.  “Dat!”  After he’s filled me in on the morning’s news, I hold out my arms and get the highlight of my day, a great big grin that scrunches up his face and makes his eyes twinkle, accompanied by outstretched arms up to me.  I pick him up and burrow my face into his neck, then kiss his face all over, inhaling his amazingly precious sweet morning breath and the smell of his skin and hair.  He tries to wiggle away from my onslaught of kisses and continues pointing out all the wondrous things he’s discovered in his room during the night. 

But this morning — oh this glorious morning — I said, “Give Mama a kiss?”  He was too busy pointing things out at the moment, so I turned to the door, but then he surprised me and leaned up, firmly planting a perfect, direct, wet kiss on my cheek.  “Dutch! You gave Mama a kiss!” I exclaimed!  I leaned down toward his face, and he gave me another kiss, planted right on my lips.  I squealed in delight and he broke into a proud grin–he knew he’d made Mama’s day.

Today we played on he slide (Click here for pics), and read books, walked around the lawn and played with baby Brendan and Janae.  Dutch mopped the garage (he thought the concrete was dirty), vacuumed the floor (really, not just pretending), and rolled a croquet ball around the driveway.  It was a full day. 

So today I just had to marvel at how blessed I am.  I live in a beautiful home where I pay neither taxes nor electricity, and the diaper pail  is always miraculously emptied every week.  Every morning I get to walk under the canopy of the beautiful trees and show my son the icy white water of the river.  My supply of Go Lean and green tea never runs dry, thanks to Winco, and during naptimes I curl up in my “office”, otherwise known as my bed, and do seminary homework which I genuinely love.  My husband lies beside me right now, reading his Bible, the man who daily exemplifies selflessness and genuine Christlike love.  And to top it all off, my son gives me kisses.

The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places . . . Psalm 16:6