Freedom {Fasting series}
It was just a few weeks ago I finally felt clarity (and freedom!) concerning the Mystic/Dominic thing. I shared it in an email to my fellow fasting friends, so I figured I’d just cut and paste it here. It’s personal, so it feels kinda scary to share, but I figure what’s most personal to me might just be most personally encouraging to you. So here goes:
Mystic & Dominic {Fasting series}
What’s up with Mystic?!
This was my biggest question headed into the fast. But the answer didn’t come until well after, just a few weeks ago.
Let me explain: One week before the fast began, a dear friend of mine was fasting and had this vivid dream:
She and I were in a hospital praying for people and they were being healed. We were going from room to room praying, and then after some time, we were praying for a particular young woman named Mystic. She was in labor, giving birth to a son named Dominic, but something was wrong. The baby, Dominic, had a heart condition, and it had something to do with the blood. There was something wrong and the baby was in great danger of not surviving.
We prayed over Mystic, for Dominic to be born, alive and well. We also noticed that Mystic was in a corner hospital room with huge windows filling two walls, with a gorgeous view overlooking trees and nature. We were trying to convey to Mystic how blessed she was. She had the best location in the whole hospital. We continued praying for Dominic to be healed, and born.
That was it.
At first, my friend interpreted the dream fairly literally — we were going to pray for people and see them healed! Awesome. No big surprise there, we’ve both had dreams about that before. But then, she shared the dream with her sister, who just happens to be spiritually gifted in interpreting dreams. (Nice sister combo, huh?!)
Her sister challenged her. I wasn’t there to hear her exact words, but it was along the lines of:
No, this isn’t just about you praying for people. Mystic is your church. The name “Dominic” means “of the Lord” or “of God.” God is wanting to birth a true work that’s “of God” in your midst, but something’s off and that work is in danger. God has given you the “best space.” He’s provided abundantly for your every need, right in the middle of the city, there’s financial provision and incredible blessing. He’s blessed you so much and He’s wanting you to pray this “Dominic” work of God into being.
I listened, wide-eyed. I knew, then, that praying through this dream would be a significant component of the 40-day fast, even though I had no idea what it meant. Hence, my big question: What’s up with Mystic?!
Now, by definition, a mystic is simply someone who believes in gaining spiritual apprehension of truths that are beyond the intellect. We usually think of Eastern mysticism, meditation, etc. But by definition a Christian mystic is simply someone who gains spiritual knowledge through prayer and communing with God. Nothing wrong with that. Anyone who believes that Christians can be guided and led by the Holy Spirit of God, who lives inside us, would qualify then as a mystic.
So, I’m not necessarily put off by this word.
I also didn’t see why this would describe us. Since you’re probably not familiar with our church, let me explain: We’re not a real mystical bunch. I mean, certainly not in a demonstrative, overly charismatic sense. If anything, I wished our church members were more mystical.
So, I prayed. The very first book I read on the fast was A Testament of Devotion by Thomas Kelly. I’d read many quotes from it, but never read the whole thing. So I dove in and … wow! The first section (there are 3) was amazing. I wrote some about it here. As I looked him up and read more about Thomas Kelly, I was interested to see that he was known as a Christian Mystic. Hmmm…
So, suffice it to say, I became very interested in discovering what this dream meant, and wanted, above all, for Dominic, a true work “of the Lord” to be birthed.
More to come! Thanks for reading.
New Life {Fasting series}
From the first time we met together, I marveled at her eager willingness to obey God, whatever the cost. I loved her humility, her willingness to receive, her honesty and frankness. So, it didn’t surprise me when, as we rode home together from our women’s ladies retreat, she announced she was going to do the 40 day fast as well.
It surprised her though. She was the one who wrote here, who said, “I’d never do that.” Let me tell you, she’s doing all sorts of things she said she’d never do, and it’s pure joy to watch as she faithfully follows God.
But all wasn’t easy in her life. After suffering a traumatic accident as a teenager, she didn’t think she’d be able to have children. Amazingly, she did conceive more than 7 years ago, during a time of significant challenge in her marriage. She testifies that it was God’s miraculous timing that brought this beautiful baby girl into their lives, and God used this baby to keep her and her husband together. Now, they have a strong, thriving marriage centered on God.
But for years, they’ve longed for another child. Month after month, year after year, they’ve prayed and waited and trusted, and hoped. They began pursuing adoption, happy to bring more children into their family however they could, and yet doors kept closing, timing seemed off. I remember seeing her, always so strong and positive, finally break down weeping at Bible study, aching so deeply for another child. Many gave advice to pursue many different options, but she and her husband kept sensing God lead them to “just” wait. Trust. Submit to Him, knowing His way was best. Besides, there were plenty of other things going on in their life to keep them busy.
And so when the time came to embark on this fast, she wasn’t thinking about a baby. She was praying for her family, for an upcoming move, for a possible trip to Africa. In short, she was giving herself wholeheartedly to the issues at hand, faithfully fasting and praying.
And wouldn’t you know it? After years and years and years of trying, with no success, during her 40 day fast …
she conceived.
The 40-day fast brought forth a miracle baby. A gift from God, from the God who hears our cries and knows our hearts, form the God whose ways and timing are always perfect, even when we don’t understand.
No, fasting isn’t about twisting God’s arm to finally get what we want. But it is about aligning our whole lives with Him, submitting our wills and hearts to His, bowing our lives in every way to say, “You are God. I am not.”
And He is so good.
Stories like this give me so much hope. There are things I still ache and long for. Things I’m waiting for and trusting him for. Good things. And the temptation is always to think He doesn’t care. That faith is useless and prayer is pointless and why on earth should we choose the narrow road or the hard path and why keep obeying when it’s dark and dreary and I’d really just rather have my own way??
Because it’s going to be worth it. All of it. Every prayer, every step of faith, every moment fasting or trusting or loving or obeying. Every difficult step. Every tear. Everything that’s done for Jesus’ sake, will be worth it.
We might not all get a baby (!), but when we die to ourselves, to our own way, new life always springs up within, to the praise and glory of God.
{Thanks for reading.}
Dreams continued {Fasting series}
On Monday, I shared the three dreams I had three nights in a row, about three weeks into the fast.
Of the three, the first was the most unclear, in terms of meaning. In some ways it seems obvious –– it highlights a fear of showing up unprepared. It highlights a fear of being in a situation where much is expected of me, but without having what I need to succeed. Certainly those things crop up occasionally, especially in speaking or leadership situations. But a more subtle part of the dream was the feeling of utter helplessness, because it wasn’t my fault that I was unprepared. It wasn’t my fault we were late. It wasn’t my fault that I didn’t know the lines. I am a responsible person, but I had no idea I was in the play! I had no idea I needed to bring my ballet shoes! And so here I was, scrambling in a lead role, because (presumably) of someone else dropping the ball.
That made sense. One of the issues the Father had brought to my attention, during the fast (and after) was my tendency to be frustrated, angry, or subtly resentful when other’s “irresponsibility” impacted me, hurt me, or made me “suffer” in some way. It’s control and pride and unrealistic expectations and un-forgiveness all wrapped up into one. I knew the bottom line was, I need to lay down my control and pride, and be willing to look foolish or irresponsible, and joyfully forgive, trusting that my Father would supply whatever really mattered in that situation.
The second one was very clear. It was situation specific, and the timing was impeccable. I knew my tendency to over-serve in a particular situation, to try to please people. The dream was such a vivid picture–trying to serve ice cream in hot weather when no one else cared. I saw the real issue, that I was over-serving not from a place of genuine love, but of wanting these people’s approval. When they didn’t thank me, or care, it hurt, which is a clear indication I was doing it for the wrong reasons. This dream bore great fruit in my life almost immediately. When I felt that urge to please people or “fix” things through over-serving, I sat back instead, and waited on God, asking Him to help me do only what He asked, nothing more, and only what I could do without any expectation or approval, thanks, or affirmation. This dream has stuck in my mind!
The last one was also very clear, and I felt like it was for more people than just me. I’ll never forget the sinking feeling at the very end, when I realized that all this time, all this time that I’d “fallen in love,” I was already married. I was so overwhelmed with thinking, “How on earth could I have forgotten that I was already married?” It was the most horrible feeling.
Very clearly, I sensed this was a message for God’s people who are tempted to fall in love with the world. It is SO stinkin’ handsome and charming. We love the feeling it gives us. But someday, when Jesus returns, I believe many will have that same horrible sinking feeling, when our true Husband comes and we realize that we’ve spent our lives flirting with other loves. Many may then think, “How on earth could I have forgotten that I was already married to Jesus?” James makes it clear that friendship with the world is enmity toward God. We can’t be in love with both. We can’t have two husbands. And so that picture, that dream, that feeling, has haunted me ever since. The lure of the world is real, and subtle. Adultery doesn’t happen overnight. So we are wise to FIX our gaze on Jesus, our One and only husband, and remember that in the end, love for the world will only leave us with regret.
These were the three dreams I had during the fast. We’re almost done with this series, just three more posts. We’ll get a fun miracle story on Friday, I’ll share my final “Aha!” moment, then finish with some practical ideas and recipes! I think I’ve spent more time blogging about fasting than actually fasting — ha! Thanks for your patience, and thanks for reading.