Sacred Mundane: The Blog

Last night, very late, Jeff stumbled into bed.  I peeked over at the clock to see what time it was: 2:30am.  I knew there was probably a good reason.  He slid under the covers and whispered, “It’s fixed.  New hard drive, all your documents, pics and programs back on it.”  What?!  I could hardly sleep I was so excited to come get my hands back on my poor little electronic friend, beaten within an inch of his life by some nasty TrojanHorse virus.  He’d been through a lot!  But my amazing husband, who loves me so much, devoted hours and hours and hours last night to taking an old harddrive out of one of his mom’s old laptops that we happened to have (thank you Janie!), and installed it in my laptop, wiping it clean basically and reinstalling everything, then putting back all my stuff on it.  What a miracle worker!

So this morning, I am on cloud nine.  I have my sweet little friend back, my tiny familiar keyboard, the freedom to write whenever a crazy hair-brained idea hits me.  I can communicate with friends, blog, play scrabble online with Cheyloe and Jeff, and finish this monster project that’s due Thursday!

So perhaps I sound a little crazy, but I realized last week just how much I love the freedom that my little laptop gives me.  It’s my way of thinking, communicating, interacting with people when I can’t always be there in person.  For all the woes of technology and progress….I’m sure thankful for my little electronic friend.  And I’m so thankful for my husband most of all, who labored for hours on end to see me reuninted with my beloved laptop.  Thank you, hon!

More to come now that I’m back online…

I suppose it’s really against all rules of good writing to give a post two titles.  Well, forget the rules. This post has two titles because I like them both.

This weekend was a little discouraging.  We had a great time visiting family, but we also got news that the two opportunities that we had been hoping for, banking on, figuring that at least one was a sure fit, were a closed door. Within a few days our plans of either/or turned to nothing/nothing.  The first disappointment was actually the one I’d hoped for most, but it didn’t really discourage me, because I guess I figured we still had door #2.  When door #2 closed, coupled with being pregnant, sick, and recovering from Friday’s migraine…well, you can picture it because you’ve probably been there yourself.  Tears.  It wasn’t that these are the only opportunities in the whole world, it’s just that it felt like a crowning disappointment on a year of disappointments.  I felt like we were “due” for some good news.  We’re due for a breakthrough, right?  I mean, we’re due!  Yeah, in God’s economy no one’s due.  We’re all sinners saved by grace and deserve nothing other than everlasting torment, but in His graciousness He saves and loves and bestows blessing on us as He sees fit.

So on our drive home, in a vague state of general defeated downness, we slid in a CD that my sister-in-law recently made me for my birthday.  Dutch was happy reading a book, and I was driving as to ward off nausea.  As I sang the words to this song by Misty Edwards, we rounded a bend and a huge (as if that word can even begin to describe the vastness) mountain appeared, crisp and white and jagged against the bright blue sky.  We sang, “See the way He holds the stars in His hands.  See the way He holds my heart.”  I was stunned envisioning God’s magnificent hands fashioning that very mountain, His gentle powerful touch.  His attention, His care, His omnipotence.  Could He not take care of us as well?  The hands that hold the stars are certainly capable of providing for my little family.  As that song ended, Casting Crown’s Praise You in the Storm began to play.  I knew the song, so immediately tears began to slowly roll down my cheeks as I sang the words with conviction:

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it’s still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
“I’m with you”
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I’ll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I’ve cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
—-

Then, with the mountain still in view, this verse played, the same passage I’d had in my heart all afternoon:

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

As the mountain sank out of sight behind us, I still felt tired, disappointed, unsure about the future, but I knew that if I clung to Jesus, truly clung closer and closer, I would feel myself in His hand, sense Him at my side, know the peace of His presence.  And that’s when I realized that biblical principles will never do.  They are fine and good, but when the world is falling down around us, no biblical principles will calm the storm in our heart.  Jesus is the only One who will do. He is the only One who will change our hearts, transform our circumstances, renew our perspective and give us peace and hope.  A Person is what we need, not a principle.  I’m thankful for platitudes and helpful reminders, but when I need the storm calmed in my life, I will not recite a principle, I will run to Jesus, who is in the boat with me, and wake Him up and cry for help.  Even if I’m rebuked for having little faith, I will run to Him as best as I can and let Him calm the storm.  He is all I need.

So today I’m left thankful for mountains and music.  The beauty of God’s magnificent creation and the life-changing power of divine music is truly a source of revelation of the beauty and power and magnificence of God.  Let’s never underestimate either.  And I’m left thankful for a Person.  Sometimes even my clever quips will fail, my trusted truisms, my supposed scriptural promises won’t make sense sometimes.  But God is real. He is constant, and He is a Person.  And He is what I reach for, when I can’t see my way.  I’m thankful that my God is real, even in the storm.

This week is your week!  My tragic news is that my laptop has a virus and isn’t working. This, one week before I have a 25-hour assignment due that is 50% of my grade and so Jeff and I are taking turns on his laptop and today I’ve thrown up and now have a migraine :-).  So, all this to say that I cannot think of any way to LiveDifferent other than to just put one foot in front of the other and just to praise God for being alive and try to not complain.  But truly, I was hoping that perhaps you would write in your LiveDifferent ideas, either for us to just do this week, or possibly for me to develop into its own special idea for a separate week.  This is just me, being weak, allowing ya’ll to see life as it really is, and asking you to help me and be my brain and creativity this week and show me your ways for Living Different.  Don’t worry if you don’t think they are life-changing–none of mine are either–but please do write in something, a sentence, a paragraph, some fun idea of how we can live for God in a counter-culture way this week.  It could be as simple as gardening, or as huge as a year-long commitment.  Don’t scrutinize; just toss it out.

And if you could, would you please pray that this TrojanHorse virus would shrivel up and die off my computer and wouldn’t fry it completely…a new laptop definitely isn’t part of our plans right now. 🙂  Thank you so much! I love you guys, I do. You are such an encouragment to me.  As always, thanks for reading.