Every time I looked at the side yard I felt discouraged. As some of you know, we finished our house in Sept 2023, but we’ve been slowly tackling small areas of the property surrounding. We still have half-burned tree stumps (we’ve been working on those almost 2 years!), piles of rocks, logs waiting to be bucked up, rounds waiting to be split. There’s a LOT to do. We’re doing it all ourselves, so it’s a slow process.
Although we’ve been tackling bits of it, the side yard felt particularly overwhelming. It is where the septic field is, so we can’t bring in any heavy equipment, but the entire area (it’s huge) was filled with half-buried rocks, weeds out of control, uneven ground. We couldn’t mow it because the rocks were so big, so we’d just weed-eat it here and there, and it just looked terrible.
I knew what we needed to do, but the problem was that it needed to be done by hand and I knew that meant countless (dozens and dozens) hours of digging out rocks, hacking out weeds, leveling, getting good garden soil delivered, spreading it by hand, then seeding it in grass.
It just felt like too much to tackle, plus it seemed like it needed someone strong to do it. A man’s job. But Jeff is busy, and we have so many other things that only he can do, there was no way I could put this on his list as well.
But I also really wanted to get this side yard usable. I wanted it to bless people. Wanted to get a badminton net up, get some lawn games, have grass for kids to come over this summer and play tag and roll around and run through a sprinkler, room to goof off.
But it seemed like too much to tackle, so I just kept telling myself someday we’ll do it.
Well last week when Jeff had knee surgery, I blocked out our schedule for the week to stay home, as I didn’t want to leave him home alone, and didn’t want to make plans, not knowing how he’d be.
The week turned out beautifully sunny, and as Jeff was doing fine but needed to be in bed all week, I decided to tackle the side yard. I knew I probably couldn’t do much of anything myself, but why not?
Something inside prodded me: just start.
I enlisted the kids, and little by little, we dug up every rock. We filled holes, leveled dirt, dug out huge gnarly weeds. By the end of each day I could barely walk I was so tired, my back ached, legs ached, arms ached, but also: It felt so good.
I knew it would take a long time, and it probably wouldn’t look amazing, but we were doing it.
Although it still didn’t look like much, since the rocks were gone and it was decently level, we decided to go ahead and order two full dump trucks full of premium garden soil to be delivered this week, while we were away on a trip. I figured when we got home I could begin spreading it, with a shovel, one wheelbarrow load at a time.
When we arrived home today in the late afternoon from our trip, the two huge piles sat in the hard. Even though the car still needed unloading and dinner needed to be made, I wanted to get started. I thought if I hauled some dirt each day, maybe I could get the whole thing done in three days. Again, something prodded me on to just grab a shovel and start.
I started digging, filling the wheelbarrow and having Dutch dump it for me in various places around the yard. Man shoveling is hard work. I tried to push out of my mind how incredibly exhausting this was going to be moving all this myself. Dutch & Heidi were both working the next few days and Jeff was still out of commission from surgery.
I kept shoveling.
After about 5 wheelbarrow loads, our new neighbor came walking by with his dogs. He struck up a conversation with Jeff. I felt a little foolish, I’ll admit. Little 44-year-old me out with one shovel trying to tackle these mountains of dirt. I couldn’t hear all their words but pretty soon the neighbor called out, “Want me to help with my tractor?”
Tractor? Sure!
A few minutes later he walked off. I figured he’d come back in the next day or two, but moments later, I heard his tractor fire up.
I could barely believe it. Minutes later he was here there and everywhere, carefully maneuvering the septic field, avoiding boulders, pushing dirt here and there and spreading it while we pointed and thanked him profusely.
Within 20 minutes the dirt was all spread.
ALL SPREAD.
He smiled, waved, and went home.
I couldn’t keep tears from welling up in my eyes. We could totally do the rest of the smoothing and leveling the next day, easily, with shovels and rakes. The insurmountable part was suddenly … done.
So clearly I felt God impressing on my heart the truth I needed to hear for something so much bigger than a side yard. This is how we work with the Spirit.
Just pick up a shovel. Just start. Yes, it looks overwhelming. Yes, it feels like the job should be for someone stronger, bigger, more capable. You feel a little foolish and where do you even begin?
But if you will just start shoveling, start picking up rocks, pull weeds …
humbly work.
The Spirit will surprise you and SHOW UP and do what you could never do on your own.
With the side yard, I couldn’t just sit around and pray that that yard would suddenly, miraculously just turn into level, rockless dirt. The Spirit doesn’t compensate for our laziness, he helps us in our weakness.
It took a shovel. But, and I don’t know how all this works, but it was a Spirit-driven shovel. 😉 I wasn’t out there angrily “getting it done” because no one else will. I wasn’t mad about it, I just knew that there were rocks to be dug up and someone needs to dig them up so ok Lord, let’s go!
And in His kindness, when we least expect it, God shows up with His tractor and BOOM. He knocks out almost instantly what would’ve taken us FOREVER to do.
I don’t exactly how this translates to any of you, but I’m praying this encourages you just a fraction of how it has encouraged me.
If you are holding a shovel, so to speak, and you feel like you’re the only one, weak and ill-equipped, out in a huge field of rocks and weeds, and you feel a little foolish.
Pray and just start digging. God will move.