In one of Dutch’s books, a little girl shares how sometimes she feels happy, sometimes she feels sad, and often she feels “happy-sad”. It’s that emotion we all know so well that is mixed–happy over one aspect of life and yet tugging sorrow remains. Today I’ve felt happy-sad. I am rejoicing that it is Christmas time! I am rejoicing that my family is here, that my precious little Heidi is healthy and kicking like crazy, that my little son’s burns are healing amazingly. I’m so excited about CHristmas, sharing the next few days with my favorite people in the world. And yet, this past week has been one tinged with sorrow. Two of my friends have each lost a baby in the past week. They are grieving in ways I cannot even imagine. Then this morning we heard that a dear woman, a family friend, went to be with Jesus … far too early. It seems odd to think of celebrating, singing Christmas carols and sipping cider, knowing that those close to us are hurting beyond measure.
I put Dutch down for his nap and went to take a nap. My eyes were burning with fatigue and my body ached. Family will be over any minute but I needed to rest. And as I lay there, thinking about all this, I kept asking God what the right response is. How do we embrace this Christmas without forgetting the pain that’s around us, fresh and raw? I thought of the words of one of my favorite Christmas songs by Mercy Me: “How could heaven’s heart not break on the day that You came?” Yes. Of course. Of course the day Jesus came was one of infinite joy. And yet in the cradle we see the cross. He came to die. Tears of joy mingled with tears of sorrow, for He would overcome the world but it would cost Him everything.
And then I thought of 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18:
“But we do not want yout to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive shall not precede those who have falen asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a cry of comman, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words.
And chapter 5:16:
“Rejoice always.”
Rejoicing may not always look like head-tossed-back laughter. It may take a quieter form. Today I will rejoice by savoring and cherishing the most precious people in my life–my family. Today I will listen, love, embrace, hold nothing back. I will savor every second God gives us together. And remember that we will be united, forever, and will always be with the Lord, for nothing can separate us from the love of God. Merry Christmas.