I almost don’t know where to start because the cup of my heart is overflowing and it won’t just pour out in a neat little spout, it’s just running out all over the place. My heart is full. I do have a migraine right now (I think we’re going to name this baby Migraina or Migraino depending upon the gender), but I’m so blessed it kind of doesn’t matter. On the one hand I will say this, moving with a toddler, while pregnant, is not advisable. 🙂 I asked Jeff last night, “Why is it that this move seems 100 times harder than any other we’ve done?” (we’ve moved 8 times in a little over 5 years). I knew it wasn’t pregnancy because we moved while I was pregnant last time. Ah! Then the light went on. Dutch! It is my 20-month old wild man who is causing the challenge! It is a blessed, hilarious, sweet, wouldn’t-trade-it-for-a-moment challenge but it is a challenge nonetheless. Last time we moved Dutch was immobile. Ah but now. Now! It is an adventure! Then little Migraina/Migraino decides to make his/her presence known, and alas, the boxes are taunting me with their still-full state.
But, I am blessed! I feel like I’ve gone to the relational chiropractor and had them aligned. Let me explain. First, my parents. If you only know me through this blog, which has only existed for a year, perhaps you don’t understand the amazing depth of love and relationship I have with my parents…because I whined so much about living there. But while it was hard to not have my own home, and hard at times to feel like I was in high school all over again, I adore, admire, and cherish my parents above all over relationships, except Jeff. They sacrifice to no end. Last week my dad fell off a ladder and badly bruised his chest. Insisting he was fine, he and Jeff moved our entire household, without any help. They carried everything–beds, couch, dressers. Then, yesterday afternoon, upon my mom’s prodding he finally went to the doctor because the pain in his ribs was still so severe. He had two broken ribs! With two broken ribs he moved our entire household! He made four trips in with his truck so that we wouldn’t have to rent a van, he drove us to our cousin’s house so we could pick up the free couch she gave us (answer to prayer–free couch!). He fixed the dresser drawer that flew off the truck and was driven over (!), and glued together Dutch’s airplane toy that was broken. His love and service to us is unending.
Then there’s my mom. My relationship with my mom is that of friendship. One of the things that was hardest for me living there was that I felt like I’d lost my friendship with my mom. Whereas before I would call her, ask advice, email her, etc. when I lived there that was strangely lost. It was the same as when two friends move in and become roommates and then realize they are no longer friends, they’re just roommates. I grieved over that when we lived there, but a wise woman assured me we’d be friends again, and even better because of the year we’d gone through sharing a kitchen (!). And it’s true. I just hung up the phone with my mom, and it’s as if our friendship has been re-aligned. Now we have the freedom to be friends again. I’m so thankful to have her back, as strange as that might sound.
And perhaps the relationship that’s most sweetly re-aligned is that of my sweet husband. (ok now the tears are coming) This might sound like an exaggeration, but I feel like we’re newlyweds again (except now with a toddler and a growing belly!). There is a sacredness about sharing every detail of life together, about forging ahead, just the two of you, sharing challenges, hopes, sorrows. It was no one’s fault, but that was missing this past year, and I was afraid we’d never get it back. This morning as he left for work, I just held him in my arms, speechless with how proud I am of him, how much I admire and love him, how thankful I am for his constancy, support, and wisdom. Last night I was struggling with something, and it was so sweet to be able to curl up next to him on the couch and just ask for his advice, to hear his wisdom, the way he can see through the drama details and see to the heart of the issue. I know this past year was soooo good for us, but I have to say I’m thankful to have our relationship re-aligned.
I do miss seeing Dutch playing outside with my dad. I miss the river, the horses, the smell of the country, the sight of Dutch curled up with my mom reading a book. But we’re headed out there this weekend, and I’ll savor those sights and smells then. Right now I’m just humbled, thankful, and blessed by my relationships re-aligned.