Sacred Mundane: The Blog

First off, let me say: I’m so grateful that the last post was an encouragement to so many of you. God is so gracious to give us each other, isn’t He? To cheer for each other and remind each other of this great and holy calling that is motherhood.

But if you’re like me, sometimes I read something like that and shake my critical head and say, “Um, yeah. That’s very sweet and all, Kari. But what about all the stuff that really cannot wait??”

Like, doing the dishes?

Like, taking care of my own well-being?

Like, obeying Jesus’ clear commands to proclaim the gospel, to love and serve the poor, the widow, the fatherless?

If we don’t wrestle through these issues, we’ll find ourselves more frustrated than before. Thankfully, God skips the detailed list of dos and don’ts and instead just paints us a beautiful, inspirational picture to help us navigate these issues. And no, she’s not SuperWoman, Tiger Mom, or Martha Stewart.

She’s that Proverbs 31 girl.

Perhaps you’re thinking, “Oh yes. Her.” You love her. You hate her. Perhaps the Proverbs 31 woman discourages and overwhelms you. Perhaps you feel you could never measure up to her (join the club!). But the goal isn’t do be her. (That’s where Rachel Held Evans got all mixed up with her biblical womanhood book. But don’t even get me started.) I don’t have to hold a spindle (what exactly is a spindle?), or plant a vineyard in my backyard (pretty sure that’s not the best use of my time), but this picture shows us one beautiful example of what it looks like to care for our families, to honor our husbands, to be industrious and hard-working, to be a self-starter, and to carry ourselves with confidence, wisdom, grace, and generosity.

Just a few things that stand out to me from this passage:

1. Everything she does and says benefits her husband.
2. She’s insanely hard-working, never idle.
3. She makes wise financial choices and investments that benefit her family.
4. She’s strong and dignified.
5. She serves the poor and the needy.
6. She speaks and teaches with wisdom and kindness.
7. She puts the needs of her household first.
8. She fears the LORD.

Clearly, a “good mom” does not just sit around and play LEGOs all day. A “good mom” does not ignore the needs of the poor because she spent all her money on sports camps. Children do not gain confidence by having parents hover around them all day. Children gain confidence by having parents who listen, love, engage, discipline, and bring them along as they serve Jesus.

They gain confidence when they know: Yes, I am loved unconditionally and No, the world does not revolve around me. 

What I love about the Proverbs 31 portrait is that how we follow in her footsteps will be different for each one of us. Those 8 items I listed are general–there are millions of ways we can live those out in our ordinary daily life. For example, Jeff and I believe that I am called to write and speak (teaching of wisdom and kindness). But we are seeking more and more ways to travel as a family, to include Heidi in my meetings, to embrace all our ministry activities as a family, teaching our kids along the way. So, our goal is to have our children with us as much as possible.

This doesn’t restrict ministry, it enhances it. (Which begs the question, what is our definition of “ministry”? But that’s a post for another day.)

So here are some questions to ask ourselves that can hopefully help us navigate these gray areas and find a place of balance, confidence, and peace as we raise our littles and engage with the world.

1. Does everything I do benefit and honor my husband? Does he have final say in what activities I engage in? Do I ask him his opinion often and value his input? How would he answer this question? (Ask him!)

2. Am I hard-working? How is my time-management? Do I treat home-life with the same effort that I would a paying job? If I had a “boss” watching me all day, what would he say?

3. How do I handle God’s money? Is my husband pleased by my financial decisions? Are there any areas I can grow in managing the money God has given us?

4. How do I carry myself? With strength and dignity? Do my children see me stand tall, take care of my physical body, dress myself in a way that shows self-respect?

5. Do I regularly serve the poor? Are there ways I can include my children in regular service to those in need? This doesn’t even necessarily have to take us outside our homes, but it could! (One idea here.)

6. What words come out of my mouth? On facebook, on the phone, and in person with my husband and children. Do negativity, sarcasm, complaining, or criticism mark my words? Or do wisdom and kindness characterize my speech?

7. Is my household first in priority? What would my husband and children say? (Ask them!) Do they feel well-taken care of?

8. Is the fear of the LORD first and foremost in my heart? Is loving, serving, and seeking God the most important thing in my life? (This doesn’t necessarily mean attending every Bible Study. It means seeking God each day and submitting to His Word as the authority in our lives.)

I realize as I read through this list, some may shake their heads and feel like a failure. You are not! (Or rather, we all are!) The goal is not perfection, the goal is to keep on keeping on. To continue growing. To continue seeking Him and striving to be the wife, mom, disciple, and daughter of the King who reflects His beauty in this world. The truth is, we all fail. Often. Daily. But Jesus is our righteousness, and the power of His Holy Spirit is what enables us to live a life pleasing to God.

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Corin. 10:31

{May you find hope and inspiration this week as you seek to glorify God in all that you do. Bless you, precious Mama! Thanks for reading.}

Last week Jeff and I had the rare treat of a morning run together. It reminded me of this.  Last summer apparently I was enrolled in the How to Follow 101 series and this summer it’s the How to Follow 201 series, because I find myself learning these things all over again (and again). Enjoy:

“How far?” Jeff looked up at me as he pulled on his running shoes, a little challenge in his voice. How much was I up for?

I took a deep breath, clipping my ipod onto my shorts.

“Six miles.”

He smiled. “Alright.”

We hadn’t run together in ages. With two little monkeys on our hands, we always run separately. And while I’d passed the six-mile mark on my own, I usually choose the flattest route possible and run my snail-pace and make the whole endeavor as painless as possible.

I hate pain. 

We slipped in our earphones and jogged out onto the narrow country road by our house. He took the lead and with no idea where he would take me, I resolved just to follow.

I’ve been learning to follow. 

Literally. Back on June 1st, God put on my heart to focus all my energy this month on following Jeff. On blessing him, cheering for him, serving him, praying for him, encouraging him, affirming him, loving him and championing him. To simply following his lead, wherever it took me.

So that’s what I’ve been doing for a month.

It was good I’d had some practice before Jeff took me on this run. 

After two miles Jeff turned us off the regular flat-route I call home, and took us down trails, through parks, up and down different roads, and through the forest. Up and down we went, my thighs burning. Every once in a while he’d look over and raise his eyebrows and give me a thumbs up to ask, “You ok?” I’d nod and try to smile and give him a thumbs up back. “I”m alive.”

Now, I don’t mean to be overly dramatic–it was only a 6 mile run. But it was far harder and faster than I normally run and I’m not exaggerating when I say I prayed the entire way. See, I’m a wimp when navigating the unknown. When I run, I always run the same path. I always go the same pace. I usually go the same distance. I get easily frightened when I’m challenged to do something physical that’s outside my comfort zone. I’m really really really not one of those hard-core workout people who loves risk and daring new adventures. Nope. In fact, if I really had my way … I’d walk instead.

But Jeff knows me. And he knows that I’d prefer a stroll through the park and a caramel macchiato, and he also knows that I can do much more than I think I can. He knows I won’t actually die even though I say I will. More than a decade of running together has taught him that.

So as we run I pray, and I can see so clearly that learning to follow Jeff is simply learning to follow God. Do I trust Him? When He takes a sharp left turn and leads me straight UP the hill instead of down the flat course, Will I follow Him?

Will I follow Him even when the path doesn’t look safe at all? 

Will I commit to following Him wherever He goes? Whatever route He chooses? However long? At whatever pace?

Do I actually trust Him?

Do I trust that wherever He leads me will be for my good? Do I trust that He will never run me to death? Do I trust that however long this race, He will give me the strength I need to run with endurance? To finish strong?

It was perfect that we did our run in silence. There was no space for objection, complaints, whining. I held my tongue, prayed to God, and followed my man.

And each time he looked back I gave the thumbs up: “I’m ok.”

Oh God for the grace to do that each day. To hold my tongue, pray to You, and follow my man. To stick right behind him and when he glances back, to give him the thumbs up sign and let him know I’m ok. No matter what we face, I’m ok. No matter how scared I am, or how steep the road looks, I’m ok. 

As I’m learning to follow my man–and my God–that is my prayer. 

{How are you learning to follow the Father today? Please share any life-lessons with us, so we can glean as well. Thanks so much for reading.}

{I felt this way yesterday. Re-read this. So much truth and hope here. I pray you are encouraged to run … for faithfulness.}

Exhausted, I stare down into the sink. It’s clogged. Has been for several weeks. When it does slowly drain it leaves a dark grimy film, and no matter how many times I scour it, the grime returns each time it’s clogged.

(Which is daily.)

I stare at the water; it isn’t going anywhere. I look up into the mirror, my face red from exertion, hair soaked with sweat. I just got off the treadmill.

The absurdity of it strikes me: I’m exhausted from running nowhere.

In so many ways.

Tears sting my eyes as my reflection blurs sideways. I had thought about it while running, had thought about how ridiculous it was to run, all alone, for forty minutes and not get anywhere.

Why God?

Why am I getting nowhere?

Everyday I get up. You do too. Everyday we obey God in the mundane details of life behind the scenes. We wipe counters, noses, and bottoms.  We listen, labor, love–often alone. We wash, work, worship. And then we wake up the next morning and do it all again.

Kinda sounds like a treadmill to me.

I poured this out to Him as I ran, one foot in front of the other, scenery never changing. The only thing ahead of me was a wall.

That’s how my days feel sometimes as well.

My exercise is in obedience to God. I’m obeying Him with my body. He clearly called me to this, so I obey. Get up each morning. Get on my knees. Spread out His Word. Ask. Seek. Lace up the shoes. Run the miles. Write the words. Raise the kids.

Repeat.

Sometimes the scenery never changes.

Then why run it?

I ask Him this, these exact words, while pounding out the steps, keeping pace with prayer. His still small voice:

“Because you’re training.”

Tears fall on the treadmill.

Yes. Of course. He’s training me. He’s training you. These long days where the scenery never changes. These long days putting one foot in front of the other. These long days with nothing ahead but a wall. These long days alone. When we’re sweating and exhausted and getting nowhere at all … we’re training.

We’re getting stronger. We’re building endurance. We’re learning not to quit.

The scenery may never change, but we’re changing.

That’s why we run on a treadmill. Why we do the duties each day, choosing to delight instead of despise, because we choose to believe He’s changing us as we are faithful in the small things each day.

Oh sister, I know the Sacred Mundane can be hard. There’s no adrenalin rush in the trenches of life. I know it’s not exhilarating to run on a treadmill, alone, staring at a wall and getting nowhere. Doing the duties no one else sees and at the end of the day looking around and wondering, All that work … for what?

For faithfulness.

Because God is watching, sister. Because God is training you for His glory. Building endurance, building character, growing some choice fruit that can only grow in the shade.

When the scenery never changes, keep running.

When no one’s there to cheer, keep running.

When all that’s ahead is that same bleak wall, keep running.

When it seems you’re getting nowhere, keep running.

Race Day may come and you’ll be ready. Opportunity may knock and you’ll open that door. But most importantly, a day will come when you hear the most glorious words,

“Well done; you have been faithful with little things. Enter into My joy.”

Keep running.

–

{Feel like you’re running hard and getting nowhere today? How can I pray for you? Please let me know  … thanks for reading!}