Sacred Mundane: The Blog

What nuggets have been most helpful for me along this journey of parenting? 

This was the question I asked myself during the weeks leading up to speaking at a MOPS (Moms of Preschoolers) group last week. After prayer and some chats with my mom, these are a few snippets from the five nuggets I shared. Perhaps they can be helpful to you too on your own sacred mundane journey through the preschool days. We’ll do 3 today and finish the last two on Friday. Thanks for reading.

1:: First things first.

Children follow the footprints of the steps we actually take, not the ones we talk about taking.

• Your relationship with God is the single most important relationship in your life. You are first and foremost a daughter of God and a disciple of Jesus Christ. Neglecting this soul care, this intimate time with God, will leave you empty, weary, haggard. Fill yourself up first, first thing in the morning, and you will find the strength, stamina, and wisdom to meet the demands of the day.  What this doesn’t mean: This doesn’t mean you drag your kids along to every Bible study and ministry event you can stuff into your schedule. Your relationship with God is first, but your church-life comes farther down. That said, we benefit our children when we teach them the priority of corporate worship. Not attending a local church gathering because it interferes with our child’s napping schedule isn’t necessarily the best thing. Seek God constantly (during those quiet moments in the morning) and ask Him for wisdom for those schedule conflicts and tricky decisions.

• Your relationship with your husband (if you are married) is the next most important relationship in your life.  Your marriage is sacred, and is meant to be a picture of Christ and the Church, a beautiful portrait of true love and sacrificial giving. Long after the children have moved away you will still have your man.  Often, we are guilty of bending over backwards to love on, nurture, and provide for our children while giving our husbands leftovers, emotionally and physically.  If your children’s sleep schedules are depriving your husband of his physical needs, make adjustments. (Read: They might not belong in bed with you!) Be mindful of making him a priority. The best thing you can give your children is a healthy marriage.

2:: Keep them with you. 

• This seems obvious, but in a culture which elevates (obsesses over?) experts and early childhood development, it’s easy to think that we need to outsource the spiritual development of our children. Nothing could be further from the truth. You are the BEST person to train, nurture, and disciple your child. No one else loves your child as much as you. No one knows them like you know them. No one can see into their heart and motives like you can. Take great caution before making decisions or enrollments that take your child out or your presence. There will be a day when outside sports, activities, tutors, and coaches will play a major role in their development. Now is not that time. YOU are the most important person.

• Do the hard training work so you actually enjoy being with your child. We’re embarrassed to admit it, but often we enroll small children in activities and ship them off places because we really want them out of our hair. It is exhausting to parent preschoolers. It’s hard. They aren’t adults. They whine. They’re always hungry. They don’t understand logic. They spill stuff. They are raw flesh that needs constant discipline and training. So, we’re faced with  a choice. We can let the frustration and irritation make us just get out of the house and go to Target or enroll them in whatever busyness we can to avoid the tantrums, or we can stay  home and engage with them and do the hard work of training them to be delightful. Sure, we’ll have bad days, but we must resist the temptation to escape the hard-work of parenting. Do it now, keep them with you, and the payoff will be huge.  If we love our children, we will be with them and discipline them: “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” Prov. 13:24

• The most significant teaching times are always “on the way.” Planned devotional times and daily Bible reading are great, but children learn best in real-life scenaries where you make everything a teachable moment and apply God’s truths to life. Deuteronomy 6:7 says, “You shall teaching [God’s Words] to your children, and you shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” You can’t do this if they’re not with you! When you’re driving, playing, eating, going to bed, getting up, constantly be talking about God and His love, truth, and wisdom. Keep them with you and all of life will be a teachable moment.

3:: Focus on the heart. 

• Sometimes when we toss around the idea of focusing on our kids hearts, it’s as if we’re implying that the outward actions don’t matter. They do. Children’s minds and spirits are not developed enough to understand profound abstract concepts, so we train their them through addressing their outward behavior, words, actions, etc. But, we must also be attuned to what is going on on the inside. In my opinion, moms are naturally able to do this, but we sometimes tune out this intuition because of outside pressure (more on that later). Outward actions are always because of an inward situation. The inward stuff is our goal–getting to the heart.

• We’re wise to take life with preschoolers SLOW. The only way we can truly see inside the hearts and minds of our children is if we live slow enough and have enough margin that we can take the time to really look into situations. If we are frantically carting our children around from one activity to another, we’ll likely just shove some fruitsnacks in their hands, tell them to be quiet, and settle for the right outward behavior. But when we keep them with us and go slow, we have time to really see, really listen, and really diagnose what’s going on inside. It’ll pay off.

{Whatever stage you’re in, how can you keep first things first today? How can you take responsibility for the spiritual growth and development of those in your care? How can you focus on the heart in ALL those relationships around you. And finally, how can we all go SLOW enough to really nurture, notice, and care for those souls God has entrusted to us. Thanks for reading.}

I closed the session in prayer and made my way back to my seat. There was nothing left to do now but sit back and pray and see how God would work. Those words were His, and although I am at all times capable of botching everything completely, I knew the truth of His Word was clear and just prayed that conviction would give way to life-change.

We split into small groups and I slipped quietly into mine.  The women began sharing what God had been ministering specifically to them during the session. Things they saw in a new light. Encouragement. New insights into Scripture. One woman sat quietly. Then after a long pause, finally shared:

“I feel like maybe God is convicting me of something. I love decorating my home. And lately I’ve been spending a lot of time and energy looking for just the right new items, and spending money finding just the right new things for my home. And I know God gave me the love for decorating, but I feel like maybe he’s speaking to me that I don’t need to spend this much money and energy on my home. I think maybe he’s saying not to spend any more money on new things but just to use what I have.”  She stopped, then looked up at us, waiting for a response.

I smiled encouragingly but stayed quiet, wanting to hear what the other women would say. Slowly, the responses started coming.

“Well … you shouldn’t feel guilty just because you have nice things. God has blessed you!”

“God loves beauty. He created beauty. So He wants us to have beautiful things.”

“I used to feel guilty for the nice things I have, but I just had to get rid of that false guilt and enjoy the life God has given me.”

“There has to be a balance. We can’t just go and never buy anything just because we want to be generous and help people.”

“God put us in America so we are to live like Americans.”

I saw the confusion cloud the original woman’s face. She nodded slowly, weighing their words with her thoughts. “Yeah … I don’t know.”

Eventually, another woman and I encouraged the woman, Whatever God is telling you to do, do it.

~

In Luke 11, Jesus is rebuking the Pharisees and lawyers saying, “You have taken away they key of knowledge. You did not enter yourselves, and you hindered those who were entering” (Luke 11:52). That verse scares me a bit — could we actually be guilty of hindering those who are receiving insight, knowledge, and conviction from God because we ourselves don’t want that same conviction?

Fast forward to another session of another event. I finished and slipped into my small group. One woman began, “You know, during the session I was just sitting there realizing that I used to have standards for our family, for the things we watch and what we allow into our home, in order to keep it Christ-centered and pure. But I’m sitting here realizing I’ve really let my guard down the last few years. Now I can’t believe the things I’m letting in. I think I need to talk to my family and we need to take back that standard of Christ-likeness and purity. Like maybe even throw some stuff away and maybe cancel some subscriptions. What do you guys think?”

I beamed, but waited for the other women’s responses. Even though they hadn’t felt the same conviction, all their comments were the same: If that’s what God is convicting you to do, DO IT! 

And in the end, even though she had some hard choices to make ahead, the woman who shared beamed with confidence: She had heard from the Holy Spirit, was encouraging to obey, and was obeying. There is no greater joy than that.

~

Here’s my point: Convictions are a precious thing. When the Holy Spirit of God is moving in someone’s heart and life, this is cause to rejoice! When we are pricked by that conviction, when God puts His finger on something, we are wise to take it seriously. All too often we can just talk each other out of obeying God, because we want to avoid guilt at all cost. Guilt is seen as bad, no matter what.

And yes, while there are certainly times that the enemy makes us feel guilty without warrant, when the Word of God is taught and conviction falls (“conviction” implies guilt!), the best thing we can do is simply come around each other and say, “Whatever it is, do it!”

Whatever God’s telling you, do it!

Whatever he’s convicting you about, obey it!

Whatever call He’s giving you, respond!

It may be completely different from what He’s convicting someone else about. It’s not a one-size-fits deal. But we are wise to err on the side of simply encouraging those around us to listen carefully and obey quickly.

Whatever it is, do it. 

~

Are you wrestling with an area of conviction today? Whatever it is, do it!

I pray you’d be encouraged today to listen carefully and respond quickly. Thanks so much for reading.

• 
• Both kids in carhartt hand-me-down overalls, digging for worms all day. Watching their imaginations unleashed as they dug, created worm farms, did surgery on injured worms (Dutch: “Just cut off the hurt part!”), and cooperated. Oh Lord, thank you for sunshine!! 
• Dirt.
• Sunshine.
• Lounging in a lawn chair in March? Yes, please!
• Sunshine.
• Time to rest.
• Did I mention sunshine??
• RENEW women. Love those ladies.
• April.
• Heidi’s curls, always falling perfectly around her face. She’s so oblivious. I’m in love with that girl!
• Blue skies.
• God’s Word that never changes.
• Resting in Him.
• Afternoon hanging with the neighbor. Love how God connects. 
• Other’s kindness.
• Night with amazing women of God, celebrating Elijah’s healing.
• Being ok with muddy floors, worms in the house, fingerprints on the french doors, and little piles of dirt on the counter. We only get to do this childhood thing once, people! We might as well enjoy it! 🙂
• Seder meal. Looking to Jesus.
• Fellowship.
• Others’ generosity.
• Hundreds–thousands?–of tiny buds springing up on limbs all over the yard. Signs of life! Life!
• That there is nothing, nothing that can separate us from the love of God.
• Good neighbors.
• Trying to be one.
• Gobbling homemade oatmeal-yogurt bars.
• Homemade turkey pot pie. Um…wow. So delicious.
•  Bare feet.
• Dirty hair pulled back.
• Yesterday’s yoga pants.
• Loving days like this.
• Tea.
• Peace.
• Discussions — arguments? — about whether a certain worm is a boy or a girl.
• That Dutch said this today: “Mommy, I don’t need  a pet snake anymore! I have a pet worm instead!” Oh I’m so grateful for this!!!
• Watching Heidi holding a handful of worms, carefully petting them and playing with them. Oh that girl. She’s amazing.
• Snuggly animals playing with the worms. Is there no end to the fun that worms can bring?? 
• Learning about life in the margins.
• The precious–priceless–perspective of what life is like outside this middle-class. Oh I need new eyes all the time! 
• Run in the sunshine! Oh my I’m out of shape but it still feels good to run in the sun!
• Running prayer circles around the Revival Building.
• Believing God for revival, HERE, in my heart.
• Dutch, sitting just gazing at his beloved worm (in a fishbowl with mud and sticks and grass), saying, “Oh mommy, I love having a pet. Sammy makes me so happy. I love my pet.” Oh the joys of a little boy and his muddy pet.
• That I KNOW my heavenly Father watches me with that same love. That He cherishes me, and He cherishes you.

May you know the love of God this weekend! Bask in it. He loves you so. Thanks for reading.