Sacred Mundane: The Blog – Page 159

God wants to bless you even if you're on drugs

March 20, 2013 KariSacred Mundane9 Comments0

I certainly hope you’re not. (On drugs, that is.) But there’s a truth so critical here that we have to use this example to get it through our deeply entrenched I-earn-God’s-love-by-my-performance mindset.

Let’s introduce Sara. Sara may or may not be Julie, but I need to keep switching names around or else you’ll know too much. So Sara may or may not be using drugs. I’ll keep that ambiguous too. Sara may or may not be making poor choices. Let’s just say (purely hypothetical) that she’s making poor choices, ok?

So we’ve got hypothetical Sara who has a hypothetical drug problem and is hypothetically making poor choices.

You get the picture, right? Right. So Sara is on every form of assistance there is, but Sara still fell upon some hard times and found herself with no money and some major bills looming ahead. The week before last we talked through this — three bills in particular that were due last week and she had no money to pay them and was panicking about losing her apartment and ending up homeless. (A valid concern.) With no job, no job history, no driver’s license, no bank account, nothing, there is little chance of money falling down from the sky for this person. Let’s just say no tax returns are coming her way. So we talked through options, various charities she could approach to ask for help. We mapped out a plan for each of the bills, but even though she asked each source, nothing came through.

Finally, last Wednesday we met up at The Father’s Heart, and she explained that she had to pay one bill by that night or she’d be sunk. I knew that I could pay the bill for her, but didn’t want to act until she’d exhausted all options on her own. At 3pm we spoke on the phone and she was panicking. So I told her we needed to pray to God that He would provide for her to pay her bills. I’ll admit, it felt a little silly, praying together with her on the phone, knowing she was in a deeper mess than I could even fathom, and wondering how (or why) on earth God would provide her money in a matter of hours. Afterwards, I spoke to Jeff and he agreed that we could hire her to clean our house and then pay her bills directly. So at 4pm I called her back. No answer.

5pm. No answer.

Next morning, no answer. Great, I thought. What’s she doing? I wanted to just go and pay her bills for her that afternoon since I knew what they were and how to do it. But as I prayed about it I felt God say, “Just wait.”

Finally, the next afternoon she answered. I could hardly understand what she was saying as she shouted over the phone, breathless, “I WORKED! I worked! I worked! Someone in Portland knew someone who was doing a painting job and needed help and I went in and I worked! I worked all evening and all this morning and I’m so tired but I worked! And they paid me!”

Long story short, in this one out-of-the-clear-blue painting job, she was paid enough to pay not one, not two, but all three of her bills. Which she did promptly.

What? Really God? Within an HOUR of our praying together you provided all the money she needed? (And yes, we made sure and connected-the-dots so she knew that this was GOD answering our prayers.)

Let me tell you what: God loves to bless you even if you’re on drugs. We have to understand that the God of the universe LOVES you and WANTS to bless you and display His power. We don’t earn his miracles by our merit. We don’t deserve His provision because we’re so perfect. If we believe He only blesses us when we’re doing everything right, we are resting on pride and not on grace. Certainly there are negative consequences for sinful behavior (and Sara is reaping a whole load of those as well), but when we seek Him we will FIND Him and He LOVES to bless our little baby steps of faith.

Miracles aren’t just for missionaries; they’re for the marginalized too. The lost. The addicted. They are for sinners like me and you and all the ones on the fringe — whoever calls on His name.

We must kick to the curb this belief that we’re only “eligible” for miracles if our track record is clean.

We’re eligible for miracles because Jesus’ track record is clean.

That’s the gospel. That’s “the gift of God, not of works, so that no one may boast.”

That’s good news.

{Where do you need to believe and ask God for His provision even though you don’t “deserve” it? How can you rest in knowing you’re eligible for a miracle because of JESUS? How can you celebrate His gift of grace today? How can you extend that grace to others? Thanks for reading.}

Love Comes Before Like

March 18, 2013 KariSacred Mundane13 Comments0

I’ve shared here and there about Julie. Suffice it to say she’s a woman in need of Jesus (just like me) who lives in the margin of society and wound on my doorstep via Bus Stop 32. I hang out with her and call her and tell her I love her and hug her and drive her around places. And pray away a lot of demons. Stuff like that.

A friend recently asked me, “Do you like spending time with her?”

The question surprised me. Then I realized, in that moment, Yes. Actually, yes. I do like spending time with her. At first it made me crazy. We had to learn boundaries and everything made me so uncomfortable I have to admit I just felt like squirming all the time until I’d drop her off. But now … I like spending time with her. I really do. It’s refreshing. She helps me see the perspective of the homeless, the marginalized, the addicted, the unwanted. I don’t always love it but she helps me see the world through new eyes. As we were together driving along the freeway the other day, I looked at all the billboards and thought, “Wow. Not a single one of these applies to her. None of this. Ads for MBA college degrees, a Fred Meyer ad that “Wedding season is coming!”, a gourmet pizza parlor. As we looked through Craigslist looking for job opportunities, all of them required a drivers license. She’s 38 years old and has never had a driver’s license. Now, hopefully someday we’ll do something about that, but my point is that hanging out with her helps me see everything through the eyes of those on the margins of society. And I — the graduate-degree-educated, middle-class pastor’s wife — can use some new perspective now and then!

But my friend’s question made me realize a simple truth — love comes before like.

Love comes before like.

All I mean is this: We all have people in our lives who we struggle to like. We wouldn’t naturally choose them as friends, perhaps. They’re from church or work or even in our own family, and there’s just no way to get around it — you just don’t click. You don’t have anything in common or perhaps you have too much in common.

What’s sad is that in that situation most people in our world would simply say, “Well, that’s too bad. You just don’t hit it off with everybody. Go find someone you do click with.”

But I wonder about that. Certainly, we’re not called to be best friends with everyone. But we are called to live in fellowship, to extend love, hospitality, friendship, kindness. Paul says we’re to live “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:2-3 ESV)

That’s a really beautiful way of saying, “Be friends with each other!”

How do we do this with people we just don’t like?

We remember that love comes first.

See, if we have these two switched then everything gets mixed up. We tend to think that we have to have a natural liking for someone first, and then it grows and develops into love. But really it’s the opposite. When we choose to love someone, for their own sake, we get blessed (and surprised) when we actually start liking them as well.

In Jen Hatmaker’s book Seven, she says that her experiment with living on less didn’t make her uncomfortable — God simply changed her comfort zone and made her comfortable with new things. I can relate to this. Even though I’m still a WAY newbie to all this, I’ve been into The Father’s Heart a few times, a local street ministry place recently that feeds the homeless. Then the other day, I was driving home by myself from a speaking engagement, and I glanced at the clock. It was noon. The first unguarded thought that entered my mind was, “Oh, it’d be fun to go stop in at The Father’s Heart.” What? FUN to stop in at a homeless shelter and hang with people who haven’t showered in, oh I don’t know, years?

I went home instead and made a picnic for my kids (they’re fun too!) but I had to wonder, “Why was that the first thought that came in my mind? Why am I starting to like doing weird stuff? Why am I starting to like weird people?”

I think because of this: Love comes before like.

A month ago I started praying, “Show me how to love.” That one simple prayer. All the time. I’m not love-expert now, but I see tiny ways God is answering. And one of those ways is that I’m staring to like some people I didn’t like before.

Wonders never cease.

{Growing, learning, asking God to help me love. Praying you too are experiencing the love of God that makes you start to like people you wouldn’t naturally like. Is there some practical step you can take to love that person in your life? Thanks so much for reading.}

Week's end with thanks

March 17, 2013 KariSacred Mundane0

My kids’ recent obsession ith spinach. What?!
Night party on our front porch on a warm spring-is-coming night. Kids’ asking, “Can we eat some spinach?” Bringing out the bag and telling them go crazy! Passing the bag around like Doritos. Hilarious.
Moreland MOPS. Awesome women!
Coming home from speaking at MOPS, to do a picnic at the park with my sweet fam.

Surprising Jeff by taking the MAX into PDX to meet him at the finish line of the Shamrock Run 15k. Woohoo! Go Daddy go!
Post-race Stumptown coffee. Yes, please!

Sunshine.
Trying my hand at water kefir.
That the kids drank it!
Vitamins.
LIFE.
Breath, water, sunshine. Simple GIFTS from the Father.
Mary’s miracle.
Believing.
Seeing Him come through.
Sweet fellowship.
Homemade hummus. I could live on that stuff.
Adventure.
Spontaneity. (I’m learning.)
A simple day at home.
Kids running through downtown PDX.
Touch.
Prayer.
Love.
Knowing He’s near.
Good friends.
Good sleep.
Circling in prayer in downtown OC.
Believing God.

{Praying your weekend closes with rest, JOY, peace, and the assurance of His extravagant love for you. May you know it deep down. Blessings, friends! Thanks for reading.}

5 Thoughts for MOPS (2)

March 15, 2013 KariSacred Mundane0

Finishing theses thoughts from Wednesday. My only regret is that these words can’t be delivered with a big hug, a face-to-face smile, and a lot of laughter because I know the chaos of kiddos and how many days just getting a shower is a huge victory. Hang in there, and I pray you can be encouraged today by how SIMPLE it is to just give your kids YOU. A Spirit-filled Mommy is the best thing you can give them. I pray for joy and energy today as you raise your littles. Thanks for reading, and have a great weekend!

4:: Resist peer pressure.

The most dangerous form of peer pressure isn’t that of other children on your child, but of other adults on you! That’s right, more often than not, it is pressure from other adults that make us do things we later regret and make choices that are not in the very best interest of our children. How many times have we made parenting decisions because of who was watching? Yup. We’re all guilty. Whether it’s a mother-in-law, best friend, or neighbor, we’re all prone to buckle under pressure, and some of us do it so often we don’t even know that biggest motivation and influence in our parenting decisions is simply the opinions of others! We must stop. We must believe, once and for all, that God gave us the responsibility of raising these children, and He will inform the decisions we make.

We have to painstakingly evaluate our motives, constantly, to see if we’re looking out for the best interest of our child or the best interest of ourselves, to impress or please those around us. Michael Pearl writes, “There can be only one motive for training your children–their welfare as they grow to bring glory to God. If you accept pressure from friends, relatives, or society to perform in a certain way, then you are no longer raising children; you are coaching performers. The expectation of others is a blind motivator. It cares not for soul or child, but praise of parents. Don’t let anything, including [this book], put you under pressure to display your good parenting. If necessary, be content to be a failure. Care not for your reputation. True training is soul training.”

God’s Word says the fear of man is a snare (Prov. 29:25). It trips us up and makes us do things we’d never do, foolish things, things that will hurt our children. Remember: If God smiles, it doesn’t matter who frowns. That said, be sure to seek humility and not an arrogant “I can train my kids however I want” sort of mentality. Love does not seek its own (1 Cor. 13:5). Love always seeks to bless others, honor others, and raise up children who will do the same.

Finally, keep this in mind also in terms of how much time your child is spending with other children. Today we toss around the term “socialization” left and right, but it’s nowhere in scripture. The person your child needs to be with the most is you. Not other children. They will learn the most not by being around other children his or her age, but by being around siblings, adults, and a church family where many different ages are together. Of course same-age friends are great, but season your child’s life lightly with them. Don’t overdo it.

5:: Cultivate the environment of your home.

One of the best things you can do is create a purposeful mission statement for your family. (Click here for help creating your own) This way, you can have a clear course for how you want to shape the environment of your home. If you want your children to love Jesus, fill your home with scripture, Bible stories, as well as wholesome virtuous books and materials that cultivate godly character. Toss out the movies, shows, videogames, or books that contain examples of brattiness, rudeness, teasing, violence (big one!), dishonesty, etc. YOU can control what your child thinks is “normal.” They will have their whole life to be bombarded by the garbage of the world; fill them up FIRST with the truth and beauty of God, which will provide their standard for what is good for the rest of their lives. It’s amazing how children learn quickly what is not appropriate (even if you don’t explicitly tell them) simply based on learning all about what is good.

Play worship music or scripture-lullabies (www.scripture-lullabies.com). Turn off the TV. Don’t buy videogames. Electronic gadgets will never take the place of real-life talking and interacting. In fact, the less time your child spends in front of a screen the better. It’s so tempting to just stick them in front of a computer/TV/ipad/Leapfrog pad, but limit screen time. Let your child have enough time, quiet, and space, to get bored and then have to think creatively and use his imagination to think of things to do. This helps his brain develop and makes the smarter, calmer, and more creative. (More on this in Boys Should Be Boys by Meg Meeker)

Do not let anything into your home (people or media) which does not honor God and contribute to the peace, joy, and purity of your home. Watch your words and your tone, how you speak to your children and your husband. REFUSE to use sarcasm in your home. While sarcasm (literally tearing the flesh) is harmful for everyone, it is especially toxic and damaging to small children. Establish a “No sarcasm” rule in your home. Teach your children to THINK before they speak: Is it True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, and Kind? (Teach yourself too!)

It’s so true: “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Try this simple trick: Smile. Force yourself to smile. It’s hard to explain, but when we get in the habit of physically smiling more, we become happier. Our children behave better. Our husbands are happier. Give it a try. Write reminders around your home and make the effort to SMILE as much as possible. You might be amazed at the changes you see.

Finally, be careful that you do not set such high standards for your children that you are constantly frustrated, grumpy, and therefore breaking fellowship with them. Michael Pearl writes, “If you can’t bring your children up to your higher standards, and, as a result, you find that you are critical and losing fellowship with the kids, then lower your standards to the point where you can relax and enjoy their company. It is better to have an undisciplined, selfish, self-centered brat who feels secure and loved than to have an undisciplined, selfish, self-centered brat who feels she is despised by everyone.” Looking back on my childhood, there are several things that come to mind that my parents probably could have been more strict on. It is a tragedy that I am 30 years old and still –in unguarded moments–put my elbows on the table during dinner. But the overwhelming feeling that characterizes my childhood is one of unconditional love and acceptance. For whatever reason I always felt like my parents were wildly proud of me and in love with me. I never doubted that they felt like they were the luckiest parents in the world to have my brother and I as children. That is priceless. That is worth a whole lot more than having perfect manners. If we have raised our standards to a point where our children in any way question our approval and undying affection for them as people, we must figure something else out. We either need to rise to the occasion and train them more consistently, or lower our standards to the point where they can succeed.