Clarifying or Modifying?
It was in the toy aisle at the Dollar Store where she first said it.
We were picking out party favors, puzzles and games, when she pointed out some bigger puzzles that had caught her eye. In her bird-chirp voice: “Can I have that?”
“No, sweetiegirl, those puzzles have too many pieces for us. But you can pick out one of these kids’ puzzles for the party.”
She looked up at me with her wide eyes and sweet smile:
“When I’m bigger I can have that?”
My heart melted. Precious little thing. I reached down and picked her up, kissing her on the cheek. “Yes, babygirl, when you’re bigger you can have that.” We finished our shopping and left.
A few days later she asked for something unrelated. Probably a graham cracker or a drink of juice. For whatever reason, I said no, not right now, perhaps later. Her same sweet smile and singsong voice,
“When I’m bigger I can have that?” I grin. “Yes, babygirl, when you’re bigger.”
It was cute. She kept attaching little smiley questions when I’d answer no. One time I left her at naptime (instead of snuggling until she fell asleep) and explained that I was going to get the laundry. A few weeks later, when I left the room at naptime she said, “You going to get the laundry,” and smiled to herself, falling asleep. Cute.
But as time went on and she kept saying it, it was less of a question and more of self-talk. When I’d say no to something she’d say to herself, “When I’m bigger I can have that.” Again, not disrespectfully or unpleasantly, necessarily, but it started to get my attention. And then, whenever I’d leave her room she’d say I was going to get the laundry.
Finally one afternoon I clarified, “Mommy’s not going to get the laundry. I’m going to go write and you need to go to sleep.” She cried. What? “Mommy I want you to get the laundry!” What had I created here?
Finally, too, I intervened with the self-talk. Heidi asked for something and I said no, she started sobbing, and through her tears told herself she could have it when she got older.
I bent down, “Heidi-boo, Mommy didn’t say you can have it when you’re older. I just said you couldn’t have it. I need you to simply say Yes, Mama and not tell me or yourself that you can have it when you’re bigger. Just accept Mommy’s words.”
Do I just accept His Words?
In our last session of Bible study we talked about how sometimes we have learned beliefs from our families, from growing up, things we’ve always believed, that aren’t necessarily God’s Word. We tell ourselves these things, often even subconciously modifying God’s commands. The first time Heidi had asked the question she had genuinely been clarifying my word. But as it progressed it developed into her modifying my word. Instead of simply accepting my commands, she modified them in her mind to make herself feel better.
Taking a straight-up No. is too hard. So she added a qualifier to soften the blow.
How do we modify God’s Word to soften the blow?
When God says, “no” or gives a clear command and we add some sort of modification, even if it’s a tiny thing like “when I’m bigger”, it’s still a big deal.
Why? Because as long as we add the modifier we’re insisting on the final word.
We’re not really bowing.
We’re still making ourselves the god of our life, by adding modifiers, however innocent or subtle they may be.
Honest, clarifying questions are always welcomed by God. Subtle statements modifying His will are not. When we clarify, He is on the throne. When we modify, we’re trying to usurp.
Let’s keep Him on the throne … even when we’re bigger.
{Praying this for us today! Thanks for reading…}
Week's end with thanks
Running the Shufflin’ for Shawna 10K race today with my sweet husband.
Kids running the 1K kids’ run. Hilarious.
Both kids got too tired so Jeff carried them both on his back, then put them down and let them race through the finish line.
They were so proud of racing!! Hysterical.
What an amazing day.
Truly one of the most perfect family days we’ve ever had. Sunny beautiful running weather, tons of old friends from our Corvallis days, laughter, fun, sweet Shawna.
What a day!! Feel so full, and SO tired. Off to bed.
Thanks to those of you who pray for Shawna and prayed for me today!
Love you … Happy weekend!
#34 Drink More Water {52 bites}
I’m. So. Thirsty.
That was all I could think about yesterday morning at 4:30am as I sat, huddled up in a quilt, having my quiet time.
This is never going to work; it’s not even 5am and I feel like I’m dying of thirst! I felt frustrated, couldn’t focus. Why did I decide to do this? I’m sure it was mostly mental–I wasn’t dying of dehydration–but without a big drink of water and my morning cup of tea, I couldn’t keep my mind on task.
Exactly the lesson I needed to learn.
My journal read: 4:30am. SO thirsty. Just want water. Can’t flush toilet. Can’t brush teeth. Can’t wash dishes. Oatmeal? Dishwasher didn’t run last night 🙁 … all silverware dirty. Hmm….
Then, God in his mercy, gave my creative husband a great idea. At 5:30am as he was heading off to work, he took a large stock-pot outside and filled it with snow.
Snow! We had snow!
Of course I knew we had snow and had already grumbled about it plenty in my heart. March 22nd and we woke up to 5 inches of snow. What?! But then Jeff set the stockpot on top of the woodstove …
and it melted.
Journal: 6am, Melting snow. Grateful. Tea made with snow-water. Grateful. Oatmeal for kids made with snow-water. Grateful.
We had oatmeal with melted snow. We washed our hands with melted snow. I even brewed tea with melted snow. I gathered up enough into a large pot that by the time the snow was gone mid-day, we had enough melted snow to cook a pot of rice to serve with chicken for dinner.
Thank you, Lord, for provision.
Sure, there were plenty of inconveniences. The bathroom was pretty rank by the end of the day, and the dishes never did seem clean, even though I drizzled snow-water over them and got them mostly clean. But truth be told, our day without water didn’t require any suffering. It was strange, gathering snow into pots melting it down for our meals, but other than my early-morning thirst I never was parched.
But it certainly made me appreciate water.
Here’s what struck me: I actually had plenty of water to drink from the few pots of snow-water gathered in one morning. The kids didn’t go thirsty. I probably used a gallon in that one day.
But the average American family uses 400 gallons a day.
At the same time, studies show that about 75% of Americans don’t drink enough water.
Does this strike anyone?
Isn’t it ironic that while people are dying of thirst we use 400 gallons of drinking water a day and yet drink less than half a gallon? Let’s say it’s a family of four, we’re using 398 gallons of drinking water on things other than drinking.
Now I really don’t mean this to be a water tirade. I live in Oregon, on a well, have an abundance of clean water, and have no problem with sprinklers. Us conserving water doesn’t give anyone in Africa clean water.
BUT, here are three suggestions for how our choices can improve our health and the health of those in developing nations.
1. Drink more tap water.
We flush our toilets with drinking water. We water our lawns with drinking water. And yet, last year Americans spent 15 BILLION dollars on bottled water.
Want to hear something crazy? The UN estimates that the additional cost of “providing safe drinking water and sanitation to those lacking them requires massive investment—estimated at $14-30 billion.”
The amount we spend on bottled water, in a country which already has safe drinking water, could theoretically provide safe drinking water to every person on the planet.
I know it’s not that simple, but … it is actually pretty simple.
Don’t buy bottled water + send extra money to drill wells = clean water
2. Drink less other stuff
Another easy way to build health and send wealth overseas is by skipping the soda, juice, coffee. I know I’m stepping on toes here, including my own. I love me my hot cup of tea. Just an idea …
3. Use less, drink more
If you do pay to use city water, reducing your usage can free up funds to help others. I was actually amazed at how I could get through the day on 1 gallon of water. I couldn’t do it everyday, but certainly we could cut our usage in half. The result? A lawn that dies and children who live.
{Thanks for considering these fun ways to build health and bless others. Today’s 52-bites was supposed to be “Start a Garden” but with 5 inches of snow it didn’t seem right! Have a wonderful weekend, and drink some water!}
*Want a way to help today? We’ve raised $675 so far toward a Jesus Well. Would you consider helping us reach our goal of $1000 to drill a well? Thanks so much! Click here to contribute $25 and let us know!
World Water Day {Will you dig a well with us today?}
It is appropriate that today, March 22nd, is both World Water Day and my brother’s birthday. My brother, who has been one of the most influential people in my life, a true catalyst for change, an example of generosity, who has helped me see God’s heart for the poor, orphan, widow, enslaved, marginalized. So grateful to God for him. Happy 35th birthday, Kris!
—
Now, imagine waking up this morning without water. None. No water from the taps. None in the toilet. None in the shower. None in the washing machine or dishwasher. None in the sink. None in the fridge. No ice in the freezer. No water.
What would I drink? How would I wash dishes, clothes, myself? How would I brush my teeth, flush the toilet, get clean? How would I cook? You’d quickly begin to panic, yes? Even writing that paragraph made me feel thirsty. You’d quickly become consumed with finding water. Your thoughts would be filled, and you’d immediately rearrange your entire day around the sole purpose of finding water.
But what if you had no car? And no store in which to buy water? For me, that would mean walking three miles down to the Willamette River. Most people I know won’t even swim in the Willamette much less drink its water–it’s filthy. But supposing I did successfully get myself down to the river, carrying just five measly gallons of water back home the three miles straight up Hidden Springs hill would be virtually impossible. Just 5 gallons of water weighs almost 42 lbs. Now, that 5 gallons is the average usage for Africans each day. ( The average American family of four uses 400 gallons of drinking water a day.) That little trip right there that I just described would take all day, leave me exhausted, and would need to happen every single day. Not to mention my children. There’s no way they could hike those 6 miles. I’d have to leave them at home without supervision, every single day.
That’s all just for 5 gallons of virtually undrinkable water.
My point? We wouldn’t survive without clean water.
This is the reality for 1.2 billion people in our world today. As many as 5 million people die every year of water-related illnesses. A child dies every fifteen seconds of a waterborne disease. It’s a no-win situation. Children either die for lack of water or die because the water they have isn’t clean. The problem feeds every other problem. Women and children cannot work because they have to spend all day fetching water. In developing countries women and children invest two hundred million hours a day to fetching water. That’s equal to a full-time workforce of twenty-five million people fetching water eight hours a day, seven days a week. Children can’t go to school. Without water humans cannot work, cannot learn, cannot function. Without water we can’t even think.
And yet it’s one of the easiest ways we can help.
Will you join me?
1. Try going without water today.
Now, I say try because I will bet it’s virtually impossible for most of us. With two small children in the house I couldn’t walk the 6 miles down and up Hidden Springs hill, and I can’t leave them home alone. So, I’m going to try going without water though, and just journal through the dilemmas and lessons learned. Perhaps you might try this today too?’ The goal isn’t to “make it” through the day, the goal is simply to identify–in a teensy, tiny way–with the 1.2 billion people who live this way each day.
*Note: At 5:23am I’m already amazed at how hard this is! I woke up SO thirsty, couldn’t drink. Couldn’t flush the toilet. Discovered I’d forgotten to run the dishwasher last night so no clean dishes. Can’t make oatmeal without water. Argh! I’m going to use one small pitcher of water for our daily needs and go from there. This is eye-opening!
*Also, even though it’s now later in the day, don’t worry about the going without water but please do #2 and contribute to the well and let us know! It’s not too late to join up!
2. Donate $25 toward a Jesus Well.
Here’s where it gets fun. For just $1,000 we could dig a Jesus well to bless those without clean water. Here’s how:
Jeff and I will start the well with $125. Then, for my brother’s 35th birthday I’d love for 35 of YOU precious readers to simply donate $25 toward a Jesus well. If just 35 of you would contribute we could dig a Jesus well. I can’t imagine a better gift for my brother’s birthday and for some precious people in need of water today. (Click here to donate and enter amount on the right-hand side)
Will you consider? (Watch video here on Jesus wells for more information)
3. Comment/Share
Finally, if you do contribute, please comment and let me know. At the end of the day I’ll randomly choose one commenter to receive a free copy of Half The Sky. Also, please share this with others so they can participate as well? Thank you!
{Thanks for reading, giving, praying. And happy 35th birthday, Kris!}
