The Long Sacred Hill {And He who carried me}

{I’m so thrilled to have Caila back with us today. So many of you were blessed by her last post. Enjoy more of her story today …}

Hello again to all of you lovely Sacred Mundane readers! Thank you, Kari, for having me back here again.

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I am often asked a very simple question, for which I don’t have much of an answer. It always comes at the point in the conversation when my conversant realizes that I am a stay at home mom whose husband just finished two years of full-time nursing school. There is usually a pause where I can see her (whoever she is) putting two and two together: the cost of living, cost of food, days allotted to my husband for work (only two per week). Eventually the question comes out, cautiously, as if she doesn’t want to offend:

“How on earth were you able to stay home through all of that?”

There’s usually a beat and then I smile. Say, “Honestly I don’t really know.”

But that’s a lie, because I do.

When I agreed to nursing school, I was a young, enthusiastic wife. I have always been the girl who sees the glass as half, nay, all the way full. Nursing school was a challenge that we, along with our small son, Hudson, could easily conquer. God was on our side, wasn’t He? So without fear I stepped into the unknown.

Years passed, nursing school started and my husbands school/work weeks stretched into 60, sometimes 80 hours away from home. I bore two more children which increased our family to five. I don’t know when it happened, but at some point on that long road I realized I was climbing a hill that was far to steep for us to scale on our own. My positive attitude fell to ashes at my feet. It turned out the hard road was actually… hard.

By far the biggest challenge we faced was financial. Diapers don’t just grow on trees. And since we were committed to keeping me home with the kids, we turned our faces up and prayed. Prayed really hard.

The first of our prayers was, Lord, give us work. Each time we prayed, God brought something along. My husband was able to pick up hours over holidays and summer. I landed a freelance writing contract one year, and another was able to supplement our income by selling fabric online.

Our second prayer was, Lord, make us frugal. I reduced our food budget to $300 a month by meal planning and making almost everything from scratch, we cut out all extras such as cable television, gym memberships, eating out, my iPhone. You name a non-necessity and we cut it. (Except for Netflix. Full disclosure.) I’m still growing in this area, but I have learned that God blesses our efforts in stewarding his resources well.

The rest of our prayers usually fell under the category of, Lord, we need a miracle. I’m sure many of you have been in that place before. You’ve worked hard, scrimped and saved and still, it’s not enough. This is where we learned that God rewards those who make His priorities their priority. I can’t deny that we owe a lot of our success to our parents and those who love us. In addition, sometimes God just dropped good gifts in our lap. Like when our neighbors started leaving gallons of milk on our doorstep. It just happened to be when we were low on the food budget. A small thing, but it spoke volumes to me who prayed over every penny.

During those years I had a thousand opportunities to give up hope. I could have fallen in a heap, thrown my hands in the air, shouted at myself for being so naive to tackle such a challenge. But I had a steady man to hold my hand, and I cannot deny there was One who carried me up the long, sacred hill.

Every day, every choice was a step. God doesn’t always lead us in big, radical ways through big, radical things. Sometimes he just leads us through the quiet commitment to serve our families and hold onto hope.

So, the truth is, I do know how I made it through those years. Someone was carrying me, and he can carry you, too.


Is there a burden too heavy for you today? I encourage you to lay it at Jesus’ feet and turn your eyes to Him. He can carry you up that long, sacred hill. Blessings, dear sister, and thanks so much for reading!

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Caila Murphy is a mother to three, married to the love of her life, who loves to sew and write. She blends these two passions together at Caila-Made, where she shares tutorials and chronicles the ins and outs of this beautiful, crazy life.

Choosing to Change

As I’ve mentioned before, I love to use vacation as a time to crawl inside a good book and nestle down in its pages.  

In Hawaii, I did just that, with Half the Sky by Nicholas Kristof and The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls. These two phenomenal books (must-reads!) wove a striking thread throughout our week.  In some ways they were unrelated. One is a memoir of a New York writer who grew up homeless, her addict parents leading them on innumerable “adventures” living in deserts and cars, “skedaddling” in the middle of the night when authorities came their way. The other, as I mentioned yesterday, was a text written by a married duo of Pulitzer Prize journalists, researching sex-slavery, maternal mortality, genital mutilation and gendercide.

But one commonality clearly surfaced and that was the complexity of choice. In The Glass Castle it becomes apparent that both parents have access to wealth, or at least sufficient resources to keep food on the table. But stubborn dreams, pride, ideology keep them on the “adventure,” moving from place to place trying to strike it rich on gold. In the end, the grown daughter discovers that the mother had actually inherited a significant piece of oil-rich land in Texas years prior. The land was worth one million dollars.

Why didn’t she sell? “Oh I could never let that land outside our family. You always keep things in the family.”

But she never lived on it. In fact, never even saw it.

While the issues surrounding sex-slavery and poverty certainly aren’t as simple as claiming a million-dollar piece of land, one of the startling statistics that kept arising was that over and over they found some poverty-stricken areas families did in fact have enough resources to cover the family’s basic needs. But, many men continued to spend large percentages of their incomes—often 30% or more—on alcohol and sugary drinks. The researchers would commonly visit poverty-stricken families to discover children sleeping without the $5 mosquito nets which could save them from disease. The husband spent $5/week on alcohol. This was, in fact, exactly what happened to Jeanette Walls’ family growing up in America. When her mother did work, as a schoolteacher, her father would spend every last dime on liquor and cigarettes.

Neither book bashed men; the point is not that men are lousy. But, it does prove (again!) that the bottom line often is that poverty is not a lack of resources but a foolish allocation of resources. It’s easy to wag a finger at Africans spending their last dollar on alcohol while their children die of malaria.

Are our choices any better?

Just a few weeks ago I sat with a dear girl, my age, with three small children, who is literally dying of diabetes. But, she cannot quit eating sugar and can’t make herself exercise. Her doctors are pleading with her to save her life, but she is enslaved to poor choices. And I would venture to say that most (not all) many Americans are enslaved as well. We know we should save money but we don’t. We know we shouldn’t go in debt but we do. We know we shouldn’t overeat but we do. The African man probably knows he should choose mosquito nets over banana beer … but doesn’t.

The overwhelming feeling I had when I finished both books was that I felt sickened by my culture and yet enslaved to it all at once. We are entrenched in a culture of over-consumption and overindulgence, of pride and greed. I can wag my finger at the African man but we make the same poor choices every day.

Our only hope for change is to change. Our only hope for the world to be changed is if we are changed first. And while I wholeheartedly support relief organizations providing food, supplies, medical attention, and awareness, we must remember that true change can only happen from the inside out.

Only God can change what we want. Only He can make us want to buy our children the mosquito nets instead of the alcohol.

We’re going to be talking here about change for a bit … will you join me? Let’s ask Him to for the strength to choose change.

{Thanks for reading.}

Consider Half the Sky

I’ve been putting off writing this post because I don’t even know what to say.

Or perhaps I know exactly what to say and am scared to say it.

The same way I was scared to read the book that I knew would say what I was scared to hear.

That every year 2 million girls disappear.

That in our current population there are 60-100 million girls unaccounted for. Aborted because they are girls, discriminated to death between the ages of 1-5 by not receiving medical care, sold into sex-trafficking, dying from obstructed labor and fistulas, victims of honor-killings and mass rapes. Consider:

More girls have been killed in the last fifty years, precisely because they were girls, than men were killed in all the battles of the twentieth century. More girls are killed in this routine ‘gendercide’ in any one decade than people were slaughtered in all the genocides of the twentieth century.

All told, girls in India from one to five are 50 percent more likely to die than boys the same age. The best estimate is that a little Indian girl dies from discrimination every four minutes.

There are one million to two million women currently enslaved as prostitutes in India alone — women who are raped for hours on end, living in cells, for no pay.

Women aged fifteen to forty-four worldwide are more likely to be maimed or die from male violence than from cancer, malaria, traffic accidents, and war combined.

I don’t know– I think God loves girls.

I think He created them in His image. I think He made them as the crowning achievement of His creation. I think He made them co-heirs of the grace of life. I think in Christ, in essence, there is neither male nor female.

We get so caught up in gender roles within the church (a few thoughts on that here), women fighting and clawing for platforms and men anxious and insecure or overbearing and reactive in their roles …

The real battle has less to do with who can preach and more to do with who can live.

We’re concerned that a man earns $100,000 while a woman only earns $70,000. And in the time it takes to debate that, ten more Indian girls have died because they are girls.

Please hear my heart, I’m trying not to rant. But we desperately need some perspective. 

Consider looking down on this globe from heaven. Consider the various regions, problems, needs. Consider that the the Cambodian girl sprawled out in the brothel is just as much as daughter of the King as my own precious blue-eyed angel asleep in her bed.

Consider.

That’s all we need. Consider. Would you consider reading this book? Consider learning. Consider looking at hard things. Being bothered. Getting disturbed. There are a million ways to help. Gospel for Asia, World Vision, Compassion, India Partners.

Just consider doing something. Ask Him what. He knows.

He’s the only one who holds all the sky

{Thanks, friends, for considering, and reading.}

*Can’t squeeze in time to read the whole book? This 18-minute video covers the main points, I watched it while brushing my teeth and getting ready one morning in the bathroom. Note, you probably won’t agree with everything said here, but worth considering. Check it out!

Week's end with thanks

  • These daffodils still tall and bright. 
  • Clean.
  • Tossing.
  • Sorting.
  • Kids dressed up: knights, princesses, cowboys.
  • Building a makeshift LEGO Sandcrawler and Millennium Falcon with Dutch. Love how far his imagination can stretch!
  • Gathered around the World Vision Gift Catalog with kids, shopping. So fun!
  • Putting one foot in front of the other.
  • Feeling tired, feeble, trusting Him.
  • Leaning, depending, resting.
  • That second wind.
  • Knowing it’s just a few more steps to the top of that hill.
  • 6-mile runs! Excited for Shawna’s 10K next weekend.
  • Dutch & Heidi excited for the little 1K fun-run for kids. Their first race!
  • Dutch’s long legs, like a little baby deer.
  • Mt. Tabor Park, pushing squealing, giggling kids on swings.
  • Racing through the park, up hills, down paths.
  • Snack-picnic in the car.
  • Plans messed up, learning to be flexible.
  • Goldfish crackers.
  • Dentists.
  • My two baby kitties piled on my lap meowing and snuggling in my arms.
  • Both of them wrapped in a quilt.
  • For all their squirreliness, that they love to be together.
  • Training, training, training.
  • So tired of training. Train some more.
  • Grace Moments.
  • Encouraged to pray more.
  • Dutch’s beaming smile when he first responded, “pardon me?” instead of “what?” So cute.
  • Our housemates!
  • Sweet sound of children scampering up and down the stairs.
  • Hannah coloring and delivering pictures for Dutch & Heidi.
  • Group of gals all up at 4am praying. So cool!!
  • Bending the knee.
  • Bowing the will.
  • Listening.
  • Knowing glory doesn’t come from people.
  • Jesus’ words.
  • God’s power.
  • Knowing He’s the same, yesterday, today, tomorrow.
  • Sweet “two cents” from a dear reader-friend who inspires me often.
  • Connecting with you.
  • (in)RL coming April 28th … excited. Consider joining us?
  • Sharing frugal-living resources at a resource Fair for teen moms. Such wonderful connections, so thankful!!
  • Candi.
  • Cleaning out the cabin.
  • Tossing stuff!
  • Debra’s grace and humble heart.
  • Living step by step.
  • My husband’s love.
  • Warmth.
  • Candles.
  • Quilt.
  • Sunshine just long enough for a run.
  • That Spring will come.
  • That God is faithful. 

May you be blessed this weekend with His grace, love, power, strength, peace. Thanks for reading…