The Five-Point Manifesto for Contentment
It was the first pink book I’d ever read. At 19 I still thought women’s books were either stuffy or silly. I didn’t like floral prints or calligraphy.
But I also didn’t like my anxious heart so I gave this one a try.
Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow proved to be hugely instrumental in the course of my life. Simple principles, taken to heart, steered my heart toward joy. I still call to mind, often, the 5-point manifesto of contentment from the first few pages of the book. I recently re-read them, smiling as I fingered the penned-in stars I’d written almost 13 years ago. The same points are just as important today:
- Never allow yourself to complain about anything — not even the weather.
- Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.
- Never compare your lot with another’s.
- Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
- Never dwell on tomorrow — remember that tomorrow is God’s, not ours.
On prayer: The perfect place to start … and to stay.
Finding this so encouraging today … thanks for reading.
“One cannot begin to face the real difficulties of the life of prayer and meditation unless one is perfectly content to be a beginner and really experience oneself as one who knows little or nothing, and has a desperate need to learn the bare rudiments. Those who think they “know” from the beginning never, in fact, come to know anything … We do not want to be beginners. But let us be convinced of the fact that we will never be anything else but beginners, all of our life.” Don Postema, Space for God
Today. {All the joys that make every job take longer.}
Today when I did the laundry you were my helper. Someone’s underwear wound up on your head as you laughed yourself silly and it took me twice as long to finish as you insisted you do it “by self” …
Today when I put clean sheets on the bed you both “hid” under the bottom sheet while I made the bed on top of you. Then I “searched” for you and pretended to take a nap on top of you. You laughed yourselves exhausted. “Do it again, Mommy!” I did and so got a late start on dinner …
Today when we made cookies I let you stir it all by yourself. When I turned to answer the phone you stirred the oats out all over the floor. I let you form the balls all by yourself, you were so proud. Your sleeves covered in flour and dough. It meant re-cleaning the floor and more laundry in the hamper …
Today when I was doing my Bible Study I stopped and re-read the detailed Lego Specifications for at least twenty-five Star Wars sets (including series numbers and release-years). You leaned in close, studying the page, taking it all in. I’ve read them all before at least a dozen times. I guess I’ll finish my Bible study later …
Today I climbed in the bathtub with you both. It was lukewarm, not hot, and a rubber starfish and blue whale were lodged behind my back. You both laughed and splashed and when I finally got out you asked me to stay just a little bit longer …
Today I snuggled you both under your covers. The dryer buzzed but I let you “keep me” just a few minutes longer. You asked me to tell you a story about when I was little. So I did. And when you prayed I closed my eyes and thought about all the extra time it took to do my chores today. And how silly you are and how loud you sing and how long you laugh and how sorry I would be to miss any of this just so I could get the chores done.
And then, I thanked God for all of the joys that make every job take longer.
{Praying your day is full of joys as well. Thanks for reading.}{
Children's Chores Made EasIER
(EDIT at 11am on Monday morning: Seeing that I had to spend 2 extra hours this morning working on a little boy’s poor attitude regarding chores, I propose the title changing to Children’s Chores Made EasIER. Nothing’s easy about children and chores but this does truly help! 🙂
I think that the Letter Lessons post was the last time I wrote something on what works for us in parenting.
That was more than 2 years ago. Hmmm.
(I guess the Picture Plan was tossed in there this year too.)
At any rate, ya’ll know that in our world it’s lots of trial and also a lot of error, and occasionally we strike it rich and find something that works. Really works.
Sound the alarm, we found one more thing.
Chore Cards.
I know, nothing revolutionary. Perhaps ya’ll already do this. But for me this has proven a phenomenal way to tie together homeschooling, chores, and a daily, predictable, regular routine that keeps us all moving forward (and keeps Mama sane!).
Here was the dilemma: A just-turned-5-year-old-boy who wants to play Legos all day long and not lift a finger to do school or chores if I let him have this way. (Heidi on the other hand would like to do ALL our chores for us if we let her. That little girl’s a worker!) Every day it was a battle all afresh to read and write and make our beds.
Enter chore cards. We began more than a month ago and I love it. The new simple guideline is that we don’t play until the stack of cards is complete. Each morning they simply sit at his place at the breakfast table, and as each one’s complete he puts them away.
His responsibility.
Yes, most of them are things I need to help him with, but it still puts the burden of responsibility on him, not me. For us, we chose 12 simple things we do each day, and I wrote them in simple words that he can read. It usually takes from 8-10am to do all 12 (sometimes shorter) and then he has the rest of the day free. DONE.
Dutch’s Cards:
- Dish in sink. (this one’s a freebie since he always takes his breakfast dish in automatically anyway.)
- Get dressed.
- Make bed.
- Brush and floss.
- Trash down. (Taking trash down to the carport.)
- Verses. (Recites his Bible memory verses)
- Bob Books (Reads 3-4 of his most recent books.)
- Write. (Does whatever writing assignment I give him.)
- Math. (Usually this is something around the house–counting doorknobs, subtracting one room’s # of something from another room’s … “life math”)
- Bible. (I read from the Gospel Story Bible and we do the discussion questions and pray about what we learned.)
- Mom Read. (I read from the DK Book of Knowledge, it covers all kinds of science and history topics. I skip the stupid parts that refer to evolution. 🙂
- “Is there anything else?” (This is my wild-card for any other occasional-chores that need to be done: Laundry put away, Legos picked up, wood brought up from downstairs, etc.)