Week's end with thanks
- A quiet week holed up at home, rain pouring outside, fire roaring inside.
- Shelter, warmth, food to eat.
- Husband who runs errands.
- Husband who builds new LEGO table for budding builder boy.
- Up late in the dim lamplight, finishing a good book.
- Falling asleep with a full heart.
- Laundry all done.
- Clean.
- Meals made ahead.
- Privilege of praying for a friend.
- Knowing He is able.
- A little luxurious treat for mommy.
- Baking cookies together.
- Snuggling just a little bit longer.
- Vacuum lines.
- Nike hat that hides dirty hair.
- Favorite old t-shirts.
- Texts from faithful friends.
- Planning for a few special birthdays coming up.
- Janae’s meatballs.
- Plans for the RDG first annual weekend away!
- Enthusiasm.
- Joy.
- Energy.
- Love.
- Honesty.
- Humility.
- Courage.
- Strength.
- Fighting together against the enemy’s schemes.
- The armor of God.
- Copying Colossians onto the cabin-wall.
- Gift of a treadmill–snow, sleet, and rain outside but still able to run!
- Trust.
- Hearing how God speaks to a friend.
- Seeing His hand.
- Heidi’s sweet words, “Mommy, you bootiful.” Heart melting.
- Snuggling her each day.
- Dutch maturing.
- Dreaming of Hawaii.
- Loving this moment, this time, savoring the gift of now.
#6 Create a Family Purpose Statement {52bites}
“Mommy, do you think somebody will write a book about us after we’re in heaven?”
Startled, I looked up. Dutch had asked the question completely out of the blue, while stirring his bowl of soup at the dinner table. We have never talked about writing books about people after they’re in heaven, and of course if an adult asked this it would sound terribly egotistical. But out of the sweet mouth of an innocent and inquisitive preschooler, it was honest, tender, profound. I simply smiled and shook my head.
“I don’t think so, babe.”
I could tell he continued to think, and let me tell you — I did too.
Of course this question came on the heels of one of the most blessed retreat experiences I’ve ever had. Speaking and mommying simultaneously was exhausting and rewarding all at once. It gave me a taste–a gloriously delicious taste–of family ministry.
No, our goal is not to have a book written about us. I’d venture to guess that’s not your goal either. But … doesn’t it make you think?
What WILL be the lasting impact of your family on this world?
Will you have inspired others to radical faith? To sacrificial generosity? To crazy love? To selfless service? Will you have comforted others? Taught others? Served others? Will you leave the world with a few more filled bellies? Will a few more people spend eternity with Christ because you and your family made your moments count?
I can’t get Dutch’s sort-of-silly question out of my mind.
What will our legacy be?
What will your legacy be?
If a book WAS written about our family what would it say?
If a book was written about your family what would it say?
And of course, in God’s impeccable timing, it is the week to draft up our Family Mission Statements. There never was a more perfect time.
Tsh outlines the process beautifully here. Or, you can go here to use an online guide to build your statement. I’d really recommend you carve out some time this week, with your spouse, and pencil out a family mission statement that will set your course. No one can live your family’s mission. There’s no right or wrong, good or bad. Seek the mission that glorifies God through the unique giftings and callings God has given you. But do it. (Even if you don’t have time this week, put a date on the calendar.)
I highly doubt any books will be written about the motley Patterson crew. But by His grace I pray we live out the unique way He intends for us to bring Him glory in this life. Here’s a glimpse of how we believe we are to do just that … {When you do yours, will you share a glimpse? Thanks for reading.}
Patterson Mission Statement:
As a family we seek to glorify God by daily embodying the gospel in intentional ways: Through generosity, simplicity, faithfulness, joy, humility, grace, care, and thoughtful expressions of love.
- We will nurture our spiritual growth and love relationship with Jesus by making personal worship, prayer, and Bible times of primary importance.
- We will be careful and intentional about time commitments, guarding family evenings and date nights while inviting others freely into our lives.
- We will grow in sacrificial giving by increasing the money given away to international causes and missions while spending less on ourselves each year.
- We will take care of our bodies, souls, and spirits by staying physically fit, nourishing our bodies with real food, and carving out regular time for rest, renewal, relaxation, and recreation.
- We will seek to make every moment an opportunity to teach, shape, nurture, and inspire our children to be Christ-followers. We will seek to make the gospel attractive by living in grace, joy, and freedom. We will seek to instruct and shape their hearts rather than merely modify their behavior. We will seek to motivate them by love and grace rather than pride and fear. We will praise their obedience, humility, generosity, godly ambition and courage.
- We will measure “success” by whether our and our children’s hearts are being increasingly conformed to the image of Christ.
When you're desperate for grace …
“So, you have someone who will watch Heidi while you speak?” I thought about this for a moment. Yes, now that you say it that would be the logical thing to do. But no, I don’t have someone. I suppose she’ll just be with me while I speak…
Hmmm…
It’s true that sometimes I agree to things before I’ve thought through exactly how it’ll all work out. Call it faith or call it stupidity, but the way I see it either God will come through mightily or I’ll learn a humbling and valuable lesson. Either way is fine.
So I took Heidi with me this past weekend as I spoke to a group of college women from Western Oregon University. To be fair, I did figure that in a group of 25 college women someone would be willing to help me, right?
We left on Friday afternoon. Heidi took her responsibility as “mommy’s helper” very seriously. She had her Dora backpack, her pink pillow, her purple sunglasses (I think she thought the “beach” would be sunny?) and a brand-new Tinkerbell flashlight we’d given her for the occasion (Thank you, Meg Forest!). Then, just before we got in the car for our 3+ hour car-ride we pulled out the grand prize. A pink “laptop” (“just like Mommy’s” –Thank you, Nissa!) that we’d saved for a special occasion. She clutched it tight in her arms, held her head up high, and marched out to the car ready for the long Fri-Mon weekend in Yachats.
By Eddyville she was fast asleep.
Of course the reality of having a 2-year-old with me was far different than the dream. There were two of us women and two small children sleeping in one bed (!), very little sleep, and a handful of other challenges that are just bound to happen (Oops forgot a towel, oops forgot soap, oops the bathtub doesn’t plug so Heidi can’t take a bath, oops brought the wrong cellphone charger so my phone is dead, oops there’s no CD player to play the songs I brought, oops I guess it’s that time of the month (!), oops had no sleep…).
I will confess I got up Saturday morning and typed out a txt to Jeff: “Help! I can’t do this…on the verge of tears, we need to think of something.”
But my cellphone died before I could send it. 🙂
God won’t let me quit even when I try.
Did I forget that when I’m weak then I am strong? (2 Cor. 12:10)
Did I forget that His power works best in my weakness? (2 Cor. 12:9)
Never before have I more experienced the truth of this that I did this past weekend. Heidi sat with me during all five sessions. She was at my side every waking moment. My normal times of stealing away to be alone and prepare just didn’t happen. I couldn’t rely on my own ability to stay calm, cool, collected, rested. Perhaps for the first time (?) in retreat-speaking I was truly and completely throwing myself at the mercy of God and resting in grace. Providence again….
Our topic was GRACE.
The gospel of grace is what changes us from the inside out.
I’m not sure if anyone learned it more than me. And truly, again by His grace, it was probably one of if not the most powerful retreat times I’ve ever had. It. Was. HIM.
Again, the gentle and kind reminder: Why do we so often stick to the known, the comfortable, that which is in our control when there is grace and mercy for the desperate. There’s filling for the hungry. Satisfaction for the needy. Strength for the weak.
Do I let myself get weak? Get hungry? Get weak?
Sisters, where are you weak? Where are you desperate? Where are you hungry? Where are you needy?
That is exactly where God desires to pour out His power and grace.
For me, that Saturday morning God prevented my text message from going through. Kept me from throwing in the towel. Made me wait just a little bit longer.
Where do you need to wait just a little bit longer for His grace to be revealed?
Joy comes in the morning. Hold on just a little bit longer. Grace is on the way…
{The other JOY of being needy was the precious college women who DID step up and help me in such lovely ways. Jill, Heidi is in love with you! Thank you, WOU ladies for YOUR grace toward me. And thanks, all, for reading.}!
When you feel like God is silent …
{Thoughts from Richard Foster’s book on Prayer.}
There is a kind of prayer we don’t often wish to pray. Richard Foster calls it, “The Prayer of the Forsaken.”
It is the kind of prayer that Jesus offered on the cross, “My God, My God, why has thou forsaken me?”
Knowing Christ prayed these words reminds us of this: A season of aloneness, of silence, of nothingness, are not necessarily because God is displeased with me or that I have committed some horrendous offense against heaven. In fact, the two times I have keenly experienced this have been after making significant decisions to deny myself and follow Jesus. One such experience was in San Jose. That was by far the darkest night of my soul, to use Saint John’s language. Heaven was iron. There were no responses. And yet, it does pass. That season was for nine months, and then some of the most glorious blessings followed.
The other season was 4 1/2 years ago, when we’d moved in with my parents and I was coming apart at the seams. Nothing seemed to offer any solace and there seemed no good outcome to our circumstance. That too passed.
Foster calls those times “The Purifying Silence.” Though we often cannot tell, even afterward, exactly what God’s reasons were for His prolonged silence, we can often see a spiritual growth afterward that is unrecognizable in the middle of the storm. The further we get from the incident, the more clear it is.
What is beautiful about these seasons is that we truly realize that we cannot manage God. As Foster says,
“God refused to jump when I said, “Jump!” Neither by theological acumen nor by religious technique could I conquer God. God was, in fact, to conquer me” (p22).
The beauty of unanswered prayer, and of silence, and even of suffering is that we cannot control or manipulate God. And though our wicked hearts can want to at times, there is such a greater, more profoundly abiding peace when we recognize our true place in HIS plans and HIS purposes.
Lastly, I loved Foster’s discussion of the “Prayer of Complaint.” As he says,
“This form of prayer has largely been lost in our modern, sanitized religion, but the Bible abounds in it … The ancient singers (in the psalms) really know how to complain” (p.23).
This really struck me. I seldom complain in my prayers but often complain in my heart! How backwards is that? If I had a problem with Jeff (not even something he’d done wrong but just a problem), and I talked to everyone else about it (and myself) but not him, how ridiculous is that? But we do that with God.
He would rather have honest complaining lovers than pious, proud, hypocritical religious people.
My conclusion through all this is that I purpose to be honest with God and to wait patiently on God. When He is silent, He is still God. I can complain and pour out my heart and draw near to Him, but understand that He is in no obligation to respond to my beck and call. When He sees fit, in His infinite love and abounding wisdom, He will hear my call and come near. He’s promised He will.
{Revisiting these thoughts from a few years back. Thanks for reading.}