Because there's only one way to have old friends …
We were inseparable that year: Janae, Courtney, Bernadette and me, four freshman at OSU on the 5th floor of McNary Hall. We had weekly Ben & Jerry’s runs, lots of late nights huddling in the dorm-kitchen (the only place that was warm) and way too many times discovering that the boys had switched around the peephole on our door. So when the year came to a close it was Janae who suggested the idea:
“We could all live together–with four other girls–at Red Door next year.”
Hmm… I’d only met Brita and Hannah once or twice.
I’d never even met Zephyr or Jill.
And what on earth was Red Door?
“Sure!”
{I miss that endearing quality of college students–game for anything, even rooming with strangers!}
The day I moved in I met Zephyr for the first time. She was 6-feet tall barefoot and totally gorgeous. Jill was a smarty weather-girl who did the forecast for the Eugene news. Hannah and Brita were bubbling with smiles and always laughing and I soon discovered the gold-mind of Brita’s closet. (I miss the blessings of our open-closet policy!)
Mindy’s name wasn’t on the lease but she camped on our couch and brought the greatest conversations and thought-provoking questions. Chelle came after I moved out, but our lives crossed over so much it felt like we’d shared a room.
And that made 10 RDGs.
Before we moved in I learned the story of the Red Door Girls. An old, quaint house right off the campus at OSU housed generations of Christian girls, a legacy I knew nothing about until I was so blessed to become part of it myself. Just another example of how God’s gifts find us.
Without really knowing it, we were handed down a legacy of hospitality, joy, purity and faith. Our home was like a warm embrace, and it was always full. We had weekend dance parties and weekly Bible studies. Fresh cookies by the dozens flowed from our kitchen. There were always boys — lots of them — lingering in the sunroom or lounging on the couch, enjoying a cookie, a smile, a conversation, or just a long afternoon in a peaceful house that smelled better than their own. Jeff Patterson appeared every so often, but only because his best friend, Benjy, was marrying my housemate Zephyr (the one I’d never met).
So funny how things work together.
That was almost 13 years ago, when Janae made the simple suggestion that changed the course of our lives. Since that time we have celebrated every wedding (all 10!) and the birth of every single baby.
Twenty-one babies to be exact.
Yes, these ten girls have multiplied. We are now 41 in all. Ten girls, ten spouses, and 21 children birthed in just 7 years (and one more on the way!). And just recently we had the honor of all gathering together for a New Year celebration. We were only missing three husbands, two children, and one RDG.
Not bad.
I had no idea what I was getting into that day 13 years ago when I said, “Sure!”
I had no idea the friendship, joy, love, and blessing I’d receive. I had no idea that these strangers in my house would become soul-mates in my heart. I had no idea that this Zephyr, who I’d never met, would marry a man named Benjy who was the very man who led Jeff Patterson to Christ.
I just had no idea.
But isn’t that how it always is? We never have any idea what God is doing in the mundane moments of life. We, I, so often cling to all that is familiar, controlled. How often do I look into a complete unknown and simply say, “Sure!”?
But what if we did? What if we gave that new relationship a shot? A real go? We all love old friends but the only way to have old friends is to spend a long time with new ones.
Right?
I’m thankful. I think that’s what I’m saying. I’m thankful to be a RDG (and the RDGs that followed us are blessed women as well!) and thankful that even when I had no clue, God’s gracious gifts came and found me.
How have God’s gifts found you when you least expected it? And in what unknown situation or new relationship could you say “Sure!” … believing He has something sacred in store? Thanks all for reading, and to my dear Red Door sisters, I love you beyond words!
When you've read Curious George six times today…
{Revisiting these thoughts today … }I remember reading about a missionary who devoted his life to a certain people group in Africa. He was only one of many missionaries to this group, but he soon became their favorite and they were receptive to the gospel message he shared.
Why?
The natives said, “We know that man really loves us because he plays with us.”
He played with them. Apparently he took the time not only to preach to them, to read to them, even to serve them through building and repairing, but he took the time to simple play with them, engaging in their recreational fun.
I got spoiled all fall because it hardly rained a drop. There were probably only two days all season where Dutch and I didn’t get to take our long morning walk to the park. Those walks are my salvation–exercise, fresh air, and a break from reading Curious George and playing trucks. I get some quiet time to think, then Dutch gets time to run around and let off steam.
December brought two weeks of being completely snowed in, then one week of me being sick, now another week of Dutch being sick. We’re close to a month without our daily walks! And I admit it’s starting to wear on me. The days can drag on when you’re confined to a small house with a two-year-old who wants YOU to read aloud, wants YOU to get on the floor and make the truck noises, wants YOU to build the fort and get inside. I wish I could tell you that my favorite thing in the world is playing with plastic tractors and reading Richard Scarry, but it’s not. Way too often I would rather be doing something…well, productive.
Meaningful.
But today as I was lying on the floor playing trucks, I thought about the missionary’s life, and how the key to the gospel going forth in that tribe in Africa was the fact that he played with them. He lay aside his agenda in order to show them his love in their language.
I’m praying that God will help me remember that I earn Dutch’s ear by the years I spend on the floor, making truck noises. The years I spend on the couch, reading Curious George. I pray for the grace and patience to simply play with people, to join them in what they love to do.
… {And now, three years later, I read this post and smile. It already is paying off, and though my days continue to be mundane I am already seeing the fruit of all those hours on the floor. Thankfully Dutch now plays with Legos — way more fun than toy tractors! Today it was reading the Star Wars Lego Encyclopedia entries OVER and OVER and OVER. Praying for you today to embrace the Sacred Mundane and to play with those you love, to show them love and earn their ear. Thanks for reading.}
Prayer for the persecuted … and the persecutors
I played her hurtful, stinging words again and again in my mind. Like a child touching a wound over and over again. And every time I touched it, it hurt worse.
My mind began to spiral down, a tailspin of self-pity. Why? Why did I deserve to be treated like this? Slowly I slid, I could think of little offenses, of slights, of insults … sliding, sliding, sliding …
Wait! This is not where I want to go! God is so gracious, His word is clear: Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ (1 Cor 10:5).
I start talking to myself instead of listening to myself: Thoughts, I command you to obey Christ! Love keeps no record of wrongs, it does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant and does not demand its own way, it believes the best, always hopes, always endures.
And it never fails.
He brings the Word to mind, cleanses out the filth.
And He gives me a little perspective of what persecution really is.
Pastor Chandler in South Asia, opposed from every direction, even denied a place to live so he and his family slept in the church. Or Nihal Gohain who was dragged out of his shop and beaten severely, because he was a Christian. Or Bandhu Pillai and his family who were cut off from all family when they received Christ and even not allowed to use the village well, forcing the family to walk to another village to get water.Or Pastor Bashuda who was attacked on his bike and literally beaten unconscious and left for dead. Three months later he is still suffering excruciating pain in his head and is asking for prayer.
Oh Jesus, we desperately need your perspective.
Beautifully, the answer to all of this–whether real persecution of the kind that’s in our heads–is the same:
Prayer.
Jesus’ words are clear and I read them this morning:
“I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven …” Matthew 5:45
Whether we’ve endured a blow to the head or to the heart, whether our body is injured or merely our ego, the answer is still prayer. Pray for those who persecute you (or who just rub you the wrong way).
And pray for those who are truly suffering for Christ.
Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering. Hebrews 13:3
How? A few ways: (A fabulous and extensive list here.)
1. Pray for clear, bold, fearless declaration of the gospel.
“Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.” Ephesians 6:19-20
“Devote yourselves to prayer… praying at the same time for us as well, that God may open up to us a door for the word, so that we may speak forth the mystery of Christ, for which I have also been imprisoned; in order that I may make it clear in the way I ought to speak.” Colossians 4:2-4
2. That they will have genuine joy sharing in the sufferings of Christ.
“…accepted joyfully the seizure of your property, knowing that you have for yourselves a better possession and an abiding one.” Hebrews 10:34
“Rejoice, and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” Matthew 5:12
“but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing; so that also at the revelation of His glory, you may rejoice with exultation.” I Peter 4:13
3. That their suffering would make them trust God more than every before.
“For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves in order that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead.” 2 Corinthians 1:8-9
4. For their physical protection and deliverance.
“So Peter was kept in the prison, but prayer for him was being made fervently by the church to God.” Acts 12:5
“For I know that this shall turn out for my deliverance (from jail) through your prayers.” Philippians 1:19
“I hope that through your prayers I shall be given to you (from jail).” Philemon 22
“Now I urge you, brethren… to strive together with me in your prayers to God for me, that I may be delivered from those who are disobedient in Judea.” Romans 15:30-31
Praying for the persecuted provides us the perspective we so desperately need.
{Will you join me today, and take 5 minutes and turn our eyes off ourselves and devote those minutes to praying for the persecuted church in our world? If you have time, check out stories at gfa.org or Voice of the Martyrs. Just for some precious perspective to help us pray? Thanks so much for reading … and praying.}
On the nightstand …
Who will influence you this year? The people you spend time with are the most significant influences in your life. And while we don’t always have a choice about who we spend time with in person, we do have a choice about who we spend time with on the screen and on the page. What blogs will you follow? What shows will you watch? And, my personal favorite: Whose words will you let wash over you this year?
This past year I was thankful to read the following books. These are the ones I’d recommend; it was time well-spent in their pages:
- One Thousand Gifts (read twice, so good both times!)
- Veneer
- Organized Simplicity
- Steady Days
- Kitchen Table Counseling
- Uprising
- 20 Foundational Truths Every Christian Should Know
- Same Kind of Different As Me
- Creative Correction
- To Train Up A Child (4 volumes)
- In the Time of the Butterflies
- Old School
- Revolution in World Missions
- Battlefield of the Mind
- I’d Trade My Husband for a Housekeeper
- The Help
- Pursuit of God
- Created to Be His Helpmeet
- Half the Sky
- The Mother at Home
- The Glass Castle
- From Eternity to Here
- What Paul really said about women (I was asked to read this.)
- Bringing up girls
- One Million Arrows
- The Brothers K
- Crazy Love (I know, I know, I should have read this by now!)
- The Meaning of Marriage
- The Attentive Life
- When Helping Hurts
- Calm my Anxious Heart
- Shepherding a Child’s Heart
- Revolution in World Missions
- Created to Be His Helpmeet (a yearly thing, I think)
- Pursuit of God (also yearly)