Soaked to the Soul {And saying yes!}
Hello and how I’ve missed you all! I’ve been five days without internet and am overjoyed to be back connected to you, dear friends. I sneaked off to Starbucks yesterday to check my email and sat silently among the hustle and bustle with tears slipping down my cheeks when I discovered what that man of mine had done here … my steady man.
And now, I sit here in the darkness in my ugly-beautiful home, heart-full and hoping to somehow capture what these days have held. I’m at a loss for words. How can I catch my breath long enough to write when He keeps taking my breath away? Truly. I thought our house selling was cake enough, but He’s doled out frosting on top and then whipped cream and cherries and sprinkles and I’m sitting here speechless at the abundance before me and where, oh where do I start?
And how do I even begin to share it with a hopelessly inadequate supply of words. And I fear it will come across, at best, as a glorified boast of how wonderful our life is. At worst as shameless bragging. That is not it. On the one hand we are still the same Pattersons – we get sick (and are), we’re prone to frustration, we find ourselves impatient, our kids misbehave. We now live in a somewhat shoddily-built 1970s house and our carport is FULL of damp boxes and other random eye-sores. The wading pool and patio table are just sitting in the driveway. The front porch bench is engulfed in empty boxes to recycle. I’m sitting here on the couch in my pajamas, un-showered and unkempt, sipping coffee leftover from yesterday that I’ve reheated in a saucepan on the stove.
Just want to be sure the picture is clear.
On the other hand, God has sent us down the roaring rapids of His abundant provision this last week and we are soaked.
Soaked to the soul by His kindness.
The house was supposed to close last Friday. We wanted it to. Had prayed that it would (so that we didn’t have to pay overlapping rent and mortgage costs). But at 4pm on Thursday afternoon, as I stood in the midst of a garage that still needed to be sorted, cleaned, and packed, I fought back tears and sent a short text to my man: “Overwhelmed.” Walking into the kitchen past my laptop, I saw our realtor’s name pop up in my inbox. Message: Docs not ready to sign until Tuesday.
I sigh, not with disappointment, but relief. Grace. Thank God for knowing what I need more than I do. Even though moving day was still Friday, that meant we had through the weekend and beginning of this week to clean and finish up. Blessed margin.
Another email pops up. A KATU Channel 2 reporter. Asks me to call. I do. (Another blessed provision as both children rest long that afternoon providing ample time for uninterrupted talk on the phone.) We talk long, she explains. Two short news stories on Frugal Living choices. One story on our house-sale and down-size, the inspiration of The Hole in our Gospel, the choice to live on less. Can they film our move, interview us, come to our new house and see? I shake my head. Amazed. Yes, of course.
I say it to her but really to God. Yes!
We talk more. A short story on the Food-Stamp Challenge, local healthy eating on a food-stamp budget. Can they film a grocery-shopping trip, post a simple menu for families wanting to make the change. Can she come film us cooking a simple meal, come see our home full of boxes?
I say it to her but really to God. Yes!
Yes, God, yes!
So we go back to the house. They film a tour, our favorite parts of the house, a short-interview around our dining room table. The kids are a riot, they think it’s a game. KATU certainly doesn’t see perfection but at least some laughter and light? A bit of true joy? Perhaps, it seems an audacious request, perhaps a bit of Jesus too? Is it too much to ask that they see Him too? Dear Lord, please?
Because that’s who I’ve seen in the faces of all those who labored with us last weekend. Those strong arms and backs, those hot meals and groceries, those hours spent playing with kids while we worked. All the faces came and smiled, blessed, and said yes to our requests. And yes I’ve certainly seen Jesus’ face in dozens of theirs and His grace has soaked us to the soul.
In Christ it’s always yes, so we can live the yes, and we’ve happily received your yes and we say thanks.
Come visit at the farm? More tomorrow on this place. I had no idea what He had in store … Thanks for reading.
Making a home that shall continue in love and peace.
Thank you for your patience as Kari pauses from writing for a few days during our move. Until she gets back on-line, here’s a quick glimpse into our shared life. She has no idea I’ve written this 😉 And I promise she will be back on-line soon! —Jeff
We have no idea who the couple is in the picture above. The photo arrived as a random bookmark in a used book, one we read together in the months before getting married (Strike the Original Match, admittedly a hokey title for a great book on marriage dynamics).
Every time Kari and I look at that photo we chuckle, and notice some new feature of it. The faux wood paneling on the wall, the black leather couch, the off-center painting, lamplight shining from the side, the water stain, or the knit something-rather near the husband’s elbow. The only thing missing is patches on that sweet suit jacket of his.
The morning of our wedding I sent Kari a card and included the photo. Every since then it has appeared in our gifts to one another, trading it back and forth when the moment seemed right. It’s always perfect every time. As I cleaned my office in recent weeks I found the photo again.
This time I noticed something new: the husband is gleefully smiling, while the wife is almost wincing. Seems about right.
When a faithful wife endeavors to follow her man, he cannot help but smile. She sometimes winces, because the truth must be told: we husbands have no idea what we’re doing. We fake it a lot, and often run up against challenges we haven’t been adequately prepared for, either by our dads or in our culture. Guys pretend quite a bit.
There are at least two things one cannot fake, at least for very long: love and peace.
I almost called this post “The Good Wife” (and here there is a new show on TV these days that belies its title). It just didn’t fit. Kari doesn’t just appear to be a good wife, or go through the motions. She’s not pretending in any way. She’s good, but won’t promote herself as such. But I shall. Kari is the most godly, intelligent, wise, and faithful woman I know. And because of that I cannot help but smile.
Love and peace make us all smile. In our wedding vows, Pastor Paul Hunter led us through a statement of intent and ‘I Do’ vows, before getting to the official wedding vows and ring exchange. As a pastor now I include it in every ceremony I officiate:
Jeff, do you come here freely to take Kari as your wife, according to the commandments of God in holy marriage?
(I do.)
Jeff, do you promise to honor and uphold her, and to join with her in making a home that shall continue in love and peace? Do you affirm your purpose of a deeper union with her, whereby you both shall know joy and fulfillment of love? Do you pledge to her your complete faithfulness through all the changing experiences of life? And, do you now give yourself to her completely, body, soul and spirit, that from this day forth you shall be hers alone, so long as you both live?
(I do.)
Lots of great questions in there, but this line always sticks out to me: “making a home that shall continue in love and peace.” Amen. Right relationships, being generous and gracious with one another. That’s what we are committing to doing and becoming.
Four years ago Kari began writing daily in the public eye, on this blog. It’s been an incredible journey, about which she reflects often with gratitude and humility. She notes how there are times when she truly does not know what she thinks on a subject until she writes about it. Not everything goes “live” and get’s published for all to read. Yet writing gives her permission to think deeply, feel deeply, and reflect on the truth as it is in Jesus. It helps the mundane activities of life take their sacred shape.
We talk beforehand about each family dynamic she shares with her readers. Kari’s good about checking with her man before clicking ‘Publish.’ So, when we chose to sell our home, downsize our lives, and hopefully reorient our real lives around our already stated core values, we knew there would be parts she would share in this space. I simply want to use this brief opportunity to write that the woman you read about here is only a glimpse. Yet real life Kari and online Kari are the same woman. No pretending here.
With each new challenge, and daily snapshot of life, we are carving out life under the good and gracious God who gave Himself to rescue us. We are at peace with Him, at home in His love. And we can live that way as a family. Dallas Willard writes about what it means to carve out a life under God in his great book, The Spirit of the Disciplines:
“It’s the responsibility of every Christ-follower to carve out a satisfying life under the loving rule of God, or else sin will start to look good.” (p. 80)
As we daily endeavor to do that, we might wince every once in a while, as in the random photo above. But with each day we grow together in making a home that shall continue in love and peace.
Many of you have said to me you greatly appreciate the influence Kari’s words have in your life. That’s humbling to hear, and only confirms what I’ve sensed since we began life together. Part of my role as husband and leader is to steward her gifts and cultivate her so she can give herself away. We know it is not great talents that God blesses as much as great likeness to Jesus. She no doubt has a gift for writing, but that’s energized by obedience to what He tells her. She’s captivated by His love and compelled to follow in His steps. (To the ancient mind, to worship is to obey.) Because He gave His life away, we can do likewise. Kari does that in part through her words.
I pray daily that I do not take her for granted. Your reading and learning with (and from) her is helping me steward her gifts and life calling. In the margins of our lives she has faithfully carved out a satisfying life, and the time investing in sharing with you seems to be worth it.
Thanks for reading. Thanks for responding to our great God. We’re with you on the journey.
Because of Jesus,
Jeff
How it all becomes beautiful …
We pulled onto Hazelhurst Lane and I had to take a second glance as we rolled up the gravel road along the property line… Were all those beautiful fruit trees there before? Jeff turned into the driveway. I looked up at the “ugly” house and had to shake my head. Was the landscaping greener than before? And where was that magnificent tree last time we were here? I stepped inside, into the little separate apartment downstairs. The living room was way bigger than I’d remembered, and that little 50s stove and 50s blue counter-tops. Hm… same color as my kitchenaid, I didn’t remember how retro-sweet this was.
I climbed the stairs onto the top floor, the main living space, taken aback at how huge the living room really is. This is way bigger than our other living room, way more room for family get-togethers… The odd on-top-of-the-roof balcony, that had screamed “tacky!” before, now washed in sunlit struck me as a perfect place for summer BBQs and early morning quiet times wrapped in quilt with coffee in hand.
The kids room, which seemed too small for two, when measured out and configured, was perfectly set up for two twin beds and two dressers. And our room — I’d certainly not remembered this — has one whole wall of windows overlooking the 2 acres of grass and trees.
When did this house become beautiful?
When God graced my eyes with the ability to see. Grace. Grace. The house-sale is grace, this new-old house is grace, and the eyes to see that it’s beautiful is grace.
I caught myself. Wait, could this be? Yes. I’m EXCITED. Excited about this old house in all its lovelimess. The cracks, stains, musty smells, the odd-shaped windows and quirky characteristics. And here I was, beginning to think it was beautiful.
A little bit like how I’m beautiful in all my lovelimess.
Isn’t that the way He sees me?
Because of Jesus, the Father sees us through the lens of grace.
Then, wearing this lens, life happens and it becomes WAY more clear how beautiful this all really is. My mom, dear mom, who has battled so much physical suffering this year — she breaks her leg in two places and is bound to a wheelchair. Dad, selfless Dad, is caretaker once again, but this time it’s pushed past what he can do. He’s exhausted. Hire someone to come in? Head to an assisted-care facility? It dawns on us.
Our little downstairs apartment.
It’s without a single stair. It has a kitchen, bathroom, little living room, without a single stair.
I jump at the opportunity and offer. And truly it’s largely motivated by my own needs — as I have a few situations this month that necessitate childcare, or at least someone with a pulse being home while my kids nap. Could we help them while they help us? And my I’ve-got-it-by-myself-Dad says “Yes!” and we all embrace grace and decide to do this thing called life.
It’s looking more beautiful that I ever imagined.
But isn’t it always like that when we embrace grace? Not always quickly, maybe not always even understood by us, but He is always for our good and His glory.
God, let me be part of Your story. Isn’t that our heart’s cry? And He lets us in, let’s us play on the playground of His glorious tale …
And He changes the way we see. It all becomes beautiful.
{Thanks for reading.}
F is for a freebie? {because we're moving today!}
Do I get a freebie on moving day?
Because … I have no real post for today. But today is our twelfth move, and while moving can be a pain, there are also a few reasons why moving can be great.
Twelve Reasons Why Moving is Great
1. It’s the only time you vacuum under the bed. (At least it’s the only time I vacuum under the bed.)
2. You find that lost mailbox key. (To the mailbox you’ll no longer be using.)
3. You get to wear your favorite jeans with holes in the knees and that hooded sweatshirt you love. {Jeff gets to wear his old camo shorts that he wears for every move.)
4. Pizza on paper plates.
5. You save money on groceries when you force yourself to eat everything out of the freezer.
6. KATU Channel 2 camera crew shows up to film your move. (Ok that’s just this one … hilarious! More on that story later!)
7. You can go hog wild on Craigslist selling stuff and make lots of money.
8. Men get to lift heavy stuff and grunt. Men love that.
9. Women get to watch them lift heavy stuff and grunt. Men really love that.
10. You’re guaranteed at least one embarrassing moment when some personal item is found under the dryer or the bed.
11. You get to creatively make do with whatever your new digs bring. (I once hung all my kitchen items on the wall because I only had one drawer. I bet you have a fun story one too!)
12. You get this gift: A fresh start. A new chapter. A blank sheet of lined paper.
Anticipating what our gracious God will write on this new page…
{We’d so appreciate prayers today for a smooth and safe transition?
Thanks so much for your grace, and for reading…}