Parenting Preschoolers: A Picture Plan
Don’t you just love when you find something that works?! Perhaps you’re like me and you’re so used to trial and error that when something becomes trial and success you pinch yourself–Yes!
After sharing about my difficult Easter Sunday I received a lot of helpful advice. It was clear that part of what created the massive meltdown was a triple threat of terror for tots: 1) Being sick, 2) Change of routine without notice, and 3) Raised expectations without notice. All those three things came into play that day and the result wasn’t pretty. I learned my lesson about taking kids to church when they don’t feel well, and learned my lesson about having unspoken expectations of my kids that aren’t clearly communicated. But #2 was the one that I really saw as the kicker, and every day since I’ve seen how this plays out in our home.
The reality is I have a 4-year-old who has an aversion to change. So whenever I suggest something (anything!) or lead us into a transition there is constant resistance. So I found myself irritated, annoyed, and could feel myself tense up in even approaching transitions, because I knew there would be a battle.
So a schoolteacher friend of mine suggested making a Picture Plan. It totally made sense. Since Dutch can’t read my schedule for the day, he has no way of mentally preparing himself for transition. Sure I can tell him, but if you know 4-year-olds you know how long they’ll remember that — about 30 seconds.
So we started in the morning making a Picture Plan. Simple really. I write out the 8-10 main events of the day, while he’s watching so he can help create our plan, and draw a picture of each one next to it. For example:
Ok, pretty simple and insignificant, right?
He loves it. It’s life-changing.
He got so excited the first day, as he looked through all the pictures. We’d keep checking back on the Picture Plan all day so he could see what’s next and anticipate the change. Results?
Amazing. Sometimes he’d even come find the Picture Plan and hold it up, showing me what we were going to do next. Even on the day that I was off studying and Jeff was home, Jeff created the picture plan (pictured above you can see his beautiful artwork) and it worked like a charm again. Plus, it gives the kids a chance to each pick one thing to put on the Picture Plan for the day.
The kicker? Yesterday there was one point where we actually got through all of our activities but still had some time before rest. So I said the kids could do some more playing outside if they wanted. Dutch responds, “But Mommy, it says we were having our rest next.” Ummm…. Ok! Can you tell how much this has helped my dear little boy?! Of course sometimes a welcome change is great, like today since our house is showing I let the kids watch Toy Story. But before I did I drew it in onto our Picture Plan so they could see how it fit into the whole scheme of the day.
Genius.
I’m so thankful for my dear friend (who doesn’t even have her own kids but who has “raised” hundreds of kids in the classroom!) who gave this advice. It was obviously an answer to prayer.
Do you have a little one (or a big one!) who has a hard time with change and transition? Maybe a Picture Plan is just what they (or you) need to save the day. Hope this can help. Blessings on your day.
End Veneer
Sometimes a book impacts us by introducing something new–ideas, facts, information, thoughts. The impact is in the novelty or newness, and we’re changed.
Other times a book impacts us because somebody says exactly what’s in our hearts but could never put into words.
I recently read a great book that did just that. It’s called Veneer.
Veneer is about living deeply in a surface society. I read it cover to cover hardly coming up for air, and told Jeff, “I’m not sure if I love the book so much because it challenges me or simply because it says all the things I’d like to say but have never known quite how.” With grace, humility, wit, and intelligence, Tim Willard and Jason Locy share history, facts, and cultural critique with the aim of a sharp-shooter. And they point at themselves first.
They point out the fact that historically people purchased items for functionality, need, and pleasure. But in the 1500s Queen Elizabeth I recognized the need for a unifying force for her country and decided that she would become that force, so she recreated herself as an icon, a godlike figure that a nation could love and cherish.
In order to do this she lavishly spent, ridiculously spent in order to create an awe and splendor always about her that gave her the aura of a goddess. Naturally, the effect trickled down. The noblemen began that same sort of spending, as she set the standard for nobility all those around her began to follow suit in order to keep up with the social competition within the court.
Trickle, trickle, trickle. We’re doing it today.Though not a single one of us are nobility we still act like we have to survive the social competition of the court. And without realizing it, we have come to actually believe that we are defined by what we buy. By what we consume. Our identity is inextricably linked with what we buy because it tells the world who we are.
And sadly, many of us are still desperately trying to tell the world, we’re cool. We belong. We fit in. We belong to nobility. And marketers know this. So billions of dollars are spent to ensure that their product is the one that’s cool. People who know nothing about technology know that a Mac is cooler than a PC, an iphone is cooler than a Blackberry. Diesel jeans are cooler than Levis. A Coach bag sends a message, does it not? Our clothes, our technology, our car, our facebook profile–we can use everything to create a veneer: A thin, cheap, artificial covering for the real stuff beneath. The real stuff of scars and imperfections.
The real stuff that’s beautiful.
But the tragedy is that we’ve believed the lie that it isn’t beautiful. That we aren’t beautiful.
But Christ died to redeem our real selves, He accepts our real selves, for goodness sake He created our real selves.
In His glorious resurrected body Christ holds out his hands and shows:
Scars.
We need not be afraid to do the same.
What if, like beautiful antique wood we saw our scars as beauty marks. Signs of redemption. Signs of grace, authenticity, life.
Not saying this call to end veneer is easy, but I love what Willard and Locy have to say.
Take a minute and check out the EndVeneer video here. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks again for reading.
Never Stop Stepping Up
It’s 7am, Jeff is at work, the kids are asleep and in the sacred silence of my morning I just turned the final page of Stepping up: A journey through the Psalms of Ascent by Beth Moore. My eyes were brim full of tears reading the final page, and reflecting on what God has done just in the short seven weeks of this study. Three things came to mind that I’d love to share:
1. Never turn down an opportunity to learn God’s Word.
Friends, God’s Word changes lives. It always accomplishes that which God intends. We won’t always be in seasons where we’re in “Bible study” but we should always be in a season where we’re regularly, methodically, purposefully getting God’s Word into our lives. Where we’re hiding in our hearts, getting it in our heads, sowing it in our daily life. We don’t have to have workbooks or an organized class or a complicated plan–the right type of Bible study is the one that gets more of Him into more of you. I pray we’d grow to love it, crave it, thirst for it each and every day.
2. Never turn up your nose at the vehicle.
I confess, friends–I don’t like fill-in-the-blanks. I like to run around a little bit in my Bible and not have someone hold my hand through the process. BUT, I cannot tell you how I have been blessed by Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer, Kay Arthur, Linda Dillow, Cynthia Heald, and other Bible study teachers and authors through the years who have done just that–held my hand and slowly walked through portions of God’s Word. I still love to do my own thing, but I appreciate so much their wisdom, study, and willingness to share with women like me.
And here’s my conviction: We can learn from anybody. If we go to a service or Bible study or Sunday school class (where the Bible is taught) and we come away saying, “I didn’t get anything out of it,” I humbly and respectfully say that the fault is ours. Even erroneous teachers can teach us something about discernment. (Discerning that they’re wrong!) But for the most part, even those studies or teachers which we may not prefer can teach us valuable lessons because God’s Word is always living and active. Of the six churches Jeff & I have been a part of, and the many many lessons and studies and classes, there’s always something to glean if we ask God. I’m thankful God kicked me in the backside about my attitude toward certain Bible teachers and sat me down a little lower so I could receive from them.
3. Never give up meeting together.
Although I do look forward to the “breaks” in our Bible studies because I love having the freedom to have more of my own study time, I will say that if it weren’t for the accountability and encouragement of meeting together, I would never be challenged to do and keep up in the same way. Knowing we’re going to discuss each week’s study is a good motivator! And especially knowing I have to lead the discussion is a really good motivator! I had undervalued this key aspect in years past, and I am so thankful now to be part of a group of women who regularly study the Bible together.
That said, you don’t have to meet with other women in order to meet together. Together can be with whoever God has placed you with in this season. Together with your husband, together with your kids, together with your community group. Whoever the “together” is, get together! When we center our fellowship on the rock of God’s Word we find that our relationships take on a deepness and significance they otherwise would not have. So thankful.
Where to start? Join a group, buy a study, check out a book and get together with one person to do it together. But never turn down an opportunity to learn God’s Word, never turn up your nose at a certain Bible teacher or vehicle, and never give up meeting together with those dear fellow pilgrims in Christ. In His Word together was where we were meant to be.
Thanks to you for doing this thing together with me, and thanks, as always, for reading.