I Can’t Believe My Breath
My little 4-year-old son’s vocabulary amazes me. He began talking pretty late (I still remember sweating at his two-year check-up and confessing he only spoke two words), but he’s been making up for it ever since! (There’s a lesson there too: Late-bloomers, never fear!) I just have to shake my head when he reports that Heidi is playing recklessly or when he correctly identifies an articulated dump-truck, a skid-steer, and a mini-excavator. Sheesh.
But of course he’s still making sense of all these new words. This past Sunday, we were leaving church and I let him run around in an open field in front of the building. He went and was looking out over a pond surrounded by trees, and called over and asked if I would please come over there. I squished through the wet grass and joined him looking out over the pond. His eyes were wide and he said in a hushed voice full of emotion,
“Mommy, look. It’s so bootiful. I can’t believe my breath.” I took his little hand in mine and kept my dancing eyes looking out over the pond.
“Oh Dutch, I can’t believe my breath either.”
I’m pretty sure it was a mix of not believing his eyes and seeing beauty so great it took his breath away. However those words made it into that order, the expression was so priceless and his little self so earnest, of course I will tuck them away in my heart forever. A precious moment of grasping at words to try to convey the wonder of something too wonderful for words.
I can relate.
As I drove home from church, of course it came into focus that that is exactly how my Heavenly Father is with me. I want so much to be able to use words to communicate the beauty of God, how good He is, how we can live for Him, how every moment is sacred, how we can simplify every aspect of our lives so that it simmers down to a pure and holy passion for the Risen King. And yet the reality is that so often my words come out wrong. More times than not I look over what I’ve written and think how proud it sounds or how it ends wrong or how this is wrong or that is wrong.
How I’ve written, “I can’t believe my breath!” for the world to see.
But God knows my heart. He knows that at least most of the time I earnestly want to use words right. I want to convey the wonder in my heart, how beautiful He is, how much I want people to love Him and know Him and serve Him. The garbage of myself and my pride and ego gets mixed in way too often, but for all the mis-steps and wrong word choices, He knows my heart and loves to hear me express it.
He loves to hear you express it.
Our Father loves to hear your heart. He loves to hear you as you pray, you sing, you write. The words might not be perfect. You might not believe your breath. But it sounds beautiful to Him.
The best part is that you do it.
And as He sees, His beautiful daughter, who so unabashedly expresses her awe-filled worship, He might just look down upon you and smile …
… and not believe His breath.
Number 15: Gathering Sticks
For some reason I have always been struck by the story of the guy gathering sticks. I don’t know why. It’s a tiny portion of scripture tucked away inconspicuously in Numbers 15, just 4 verses that are never mentioned again in scripture, but for some reason “the guy gathering sticks” has always stuck with me. This time I read it and had to camp for a moment. In the very likely event that this portion of scripture isn’t fresh in your minds, check out the story:
“While the people of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man gathering sticks on the Sabbath day. And those who found him gathering sticks brought him to Moses and Aaron and to all the congregation. They put him in custody, because it had not been made clear what should be done to him. And the LORD said to Moses, “The man shall be put to death; all the congregation shall stone him with stones outside the camp.” And all the congregation brought him outside the camp and stoned him to death with stones, as the LORD commanded Moses” (vv. 32-36).
Does that struck anyone as completely tragic? Every time I read that story I think, “What a stupid sin.” Of course all sin is stupid–it all stems from pride and arrogance and independence from all that is good, namely God. So all sin is stupid, but really, gathering sticks? Come on!
I can understand someone getting caught up in lust or coveting something so much that they steal it or falling into putting one’s trust in something else–all still wrong but I can understand how the lust of the flesh can cause those kinds of stumbles.
But gathering sticks? Why? I mean, come one–this guy lost his life, was stoned to death, was recorded in scripture, all because he was gathering sticks on the Sabbath. Wow. Stupid sins.
And then I got to thinking, to me this sadly shows a man who just a complete disregard for the law. God had clearly told them to refrain from all work ont he seventh day, a Sabbath of rest. He had just told the nation that and now here this guy is gathering sticks of all things.
A disregard for the law. A blatant disregard for authority, for the very clear commandments given by God to Israel. And then I started thinking how sobering this is to think about as parents–how if we fail to train our children and teach them to obey and to regard and respect authority, we are setting them up to do something like this–a stupid sin. But then something from our Bible study made it even more convicting.
This man did not fear God. He did not reverence God.
Beth Moore says, “God is not harsh, He is holy.” Like a slap in the face this hit me–we have lost the fear of the Lord in our culture. This man did not have a healthy reverence for God, and he therefore completely disregarded the clear directives God had given. It wasn’t as if this man was swept away with lust or stumbled because of some weakness. He committed the stupid sin of gathering sticks because he did not reverence God.
I believe that is why God responded the way He did. It seems harsh to us, to stone this man with stones because of what seems like a small sin. But, it seems to be that God is pointing out exactly what this man’s root error was (not reverencing God), and making sure everyone else in the assembly wouldn’t make the same grievous error. The consequences are severe not because God is severe but because He is set apart–holy. Reverence, or the fear of the LORD, is critical to everything else in Scripture. And, I’d say, is sadly neglected in today’s world.
A very similar story is found in 2 Samuel 6 and we’ll talk about that later, when we get there. God kills Uzzah because the entire nation of Israel needed to learn the holiness of God and reverence Him. To disregard His clear directives was not an option. Again, reverence is key. God is God and we are not. He is not our brother or our buddy. He is the Maker of the universe. He is our King.
This is where it gets WAY convicting. I was thinking about my daily life. It is wonderful that God has torn the veil and made a way into His holy presence for all believers. We are a royal priesthood, all of us, so we don’t have to approach God in this same way. And yet the coming of Jesus certainly doesn’t do away with a need for reverence. Certainly not!
Just this morning I was spending time in prayer for some friends. My mind went on to something and I looked at my computer about it, then I saw a response to an email I’d recently sent, then I started thinking about something on my blog, then I sent Jeff a quick email about what I was thinking about, and the next thing you know I was totally off track, having completely abandoned what I was doing which was praying. That is, communicating with the GOD of the universe.
In other words, gathering sticks.
I was because in my heart there was a lack of reverence. Yes, I am thankful that we can enter straight into God’s presence, but I am frightened by how quickly irreverence can creep into my heart and I can forget how holy God is. Prayer is not text messaging.
All this to say that in my house and in my heart reverence is becoming a major theme. I still want prayer and Bible times of course to be fun, but tonight at prayer time I was challenged to teach Dutch more about approaching God with reverence and respect, rather than just shooting up silly prayers or sneaking bites of food or making faces. Yes, kids are kids, but God is God, amen? I ask God right now to forgive us for the ways that we have taken His name in vain, used or taken it lightly, applied it to things that are not of Him. I ask Him to give us a godly fear and reverence, to give Him the respect and honor due His name.
And I ask Him to be merciful and protect us from stupid sins. Protect us from gathering sticks. Amen?
—
In what ways has irreverence crept into your relationship with Christ? How can we restore a healthy fear of God into our lives? Please share your thoughts on what this looks like for you!
Parenting: More Things That Seem To Work
Some of you have been walking together with me on this parenting road for quite some time now. You’ve patiently endured my laments about the potty-training nightmare, the Butt Paste catastrophe, and the breath-holding spells. I know there is nothing necessarily remarkable about these tales, but it sure is fun to share them–to know that though we often feel alone, we’re really among a great throng of other faithful mommies who are daily seeking grace to raise our children in the ways of the Lord. And, if my low points can provide a spot of laughter for your day, praise be to God! 🙂
I share a few months ago some nuggets of parenting wisdom that I’d found particularly helpful at that time. Well, it’s time for more. As I mentioned before, I don’t have the perspective of one whose children are grown, so I share these simply as a friend walking along the same road as you. As I glean nuggets from those older and wiser than I I’ll share what seems to rise to the surface. Hope it can be helpful.
1. Give the right of private property. In one fell swoop this solved about a 100 problems in our home. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before, but it totally makes sense. I never wanted our kids to be possessive of their belongings–so when they began saying “mine” I was quick to correct them or distract them or something. I’m actually not sure what I was doing. But now that they are preschool age (2 & 4), I still sort of had a common-possession of all toys. Both kids could play with whatever, I didn’t want it to be “Dutch’s” or “Heidi’s” because you want your kids to share, right? Plus, because Dutch is older he had probably 90% of the toys, so I figured it was fair that everything just belong to both of them. Well the problem is that the concept of sharing and generosity makes no sense whatsoever if you have nothing to share, or nothing to be generous with. That’s like trying to teach Dutch about tithing without ever giving him any money! I was making my home into a little socialist society, and therefore robbing my kids of the opportunity to be selfless and to truly share. The beauty of Acts 2:44 (the believers having all things in common) was that the people had belongings to share, it was a freewill generosity not an imposed obligation or forced offering. The love of Christ compelled them to give up what they owned. You can’t give what you don’t own!
This plays out so many times at home and teaches such valuable lessons! A few things I’ve noticed:
- Quickly ends bickering. Who does it belong to? That person has the right to hold onto it or share it. Discussion over.
- Builds Sibling Relationship. Now it seems as if this would not help siblings get along. Seems like letting them each have their own stuff would cause distance, not love. But the opposite is true. When the child is secure in knowing his stuff will not be taken away against his will all the time is free to let a sibling play with it. Think about it, if your neighbor constantly just came over and stole your lawn mower (or worse yet, the government forced you to give him all your stuff), would you naturally have good feelings toward him? If you are happily secure in knowing the lawn mower is yours, you are more likely to offer it freely to someone else. Similarly, let’s say an older child is playing and the younger child whines and cries to have a toy. You tell the older child to give it to the younger. The older child becomes resentful of both you and the sibling because every time the younger one whines you give in and take away his stuff. Plus they are both learning that whining works! Instead, we can refuse to listen to any kind of whining. Each child has the freedom to play with their own toys and share if they want to. It won’t take long to learn that it’s a lot more fun to play with their toys together when they are sharing!
- Ends the Fairness Fallacy. I think this will be a whole post because there’s so much here! I realized that much of why I wanted them to share everything was that Dutch has a ton of toys and Heidi has virtually none, in comparison. When we buy into the fairness fallacy we think that we need to manipulate circumstance in order to make things fair for our kids. Not true! Yes, right now Dutch has a lot more toys. That. Is. Life. If my neighbor has a boat and I don’t do I march over and demand that we share it 50/50? Of course not. The people down the road have big huge houses. Mine is medium-huge. The people down the street have tiny houses. Some people don’t have a house at all. That’s life. What a great opportunity to teach Heidi that not everything in life is equal. And, I can say from experience, as a girl with an older brother–it won’t be long before her room is overflowing with toys and Dutch’s looks a bit bare in comparison. I dare say she’s not in for a life of want. I’m afraid we’ve become so devoted to making things fair for our kids that we’ve neglected to train then for the real world–what a rude awakening when they leave our warm nests and discover life isn’t fair!
Wow, ok, that one was long. We’ll move on. 🙂
2. Let them struggle… and succeed. Again, I see how much I’ve been a softy. While Heidi’s a go-getter, Dutch can be a bit of a … momma’s boy. 🙂 He likes me to do things for him. And, how can I resist with that puppy breath of his and those great big blue eyes? Well, the key is that it is because of those big blue beautiful eyes (i.e. because we love our children) that we will let them struggle. We have to let them learn! I’m trying to take the time to more and more insist that he do things on his own. Yesterday he whined and cried because he couldn’t get his shirt off (I’ll admit, it was a tricky one, the kid’s got a healthy-sized head). I felt like such a meanie, but I refused to help him. Heidi and I sat in the bathtub playing while he struggled … and struggled and struggled and struggled. But you know what? He did it! And you better believe afterward he was so proud and confident and happy, he was flexing his little muscles and telling me how strong he was.
Here’s the tricky part though–knowing which struggles will build confidence and which will just cause defeat and discouragement. Of course a little discouragement is all part of the process, but pushing too hard or expressing frustration or disapproval will just cause our kids to be afraid of failure. For example, I’m letting off on pushing Dutch with his writing. He was getting so frustrated that he didn’t want to try at all. So I decided he can play Legos instead. He’s 4 years old for crying out loud and I dare say he’ll be able to write his name by the time he applies for his driver’s license. We have time. At the same time I insist that he clean up messes, make his bed, get dressed, etc. by himself. As with everything, we have to know our kids. I guess that’s why we need to spend a lot of time with them! 🙂
3. Make every negative behavior counter-productive. This is just a basic foundational rule of discipline, but it’s helped me so much to have it summed up so succinctly. It makes it so much simpler to think of what to do in the moment. If Dutch whines about picking up his toys, he loses the toys altogether. If Heidi screams to be let down from her chair, she stays in the chair longer. It’s so easy, when we’re not careful, to be inadvertently training our kids into bad habits. I do it way too often. We don’t pay attention to our toddler until they fuss and whine. I don’t look in Dutch’s eyes until he misbehaves. All those things teach our children the very opposite of what we want. It takes SO much effort to diligently reward every (or many) good behavior and make every negative behavior counter-productive. But how worth it it is! I’m trying to work just as hard at “catching” good behavior as I am about catching the bad. Lots of work, but no one said parenting would be anything less!
Final thought: Parenting is a full-time job. I know we always say that but more and more I’m seeing it’s just so true! Simplifying my schedule and greatly reducing my outside commitments is helping so much. I know it’s hard, but I recently read this simple statement that struck me as so profound and is proving to be absolutely the truth: The more time you spend with your children the less you will need to discipline them. Not that all naughtiness comes from us being there or not, but I’ve been so amazed at just how true this is.
May this oh so sacred and oh so mundane task of parenting be your holy calling this week. Hang in there!
Frugal Friday (Guest Post): Becoming a Lady of Industry
On Frugal Fridays Kari has been sharing tips on how to bless our families by saving money and giving more. Today, we are shifting gears a little and focusing on how to bless your family by making money. Now, who doesn’t like the sound of that? 🙂
It seems to me that I often face a dichotomy in life. My education taught me to make money in a career, and yet I choose the life of a stay-at-home mom. Two values are at play: making money, and family. The two seem mutually exclusive.
However, I’ve recently begun to believe that the two are not necessarily mutually exclusive. In fact, it may be part of my duty as a wife and mother to join with my husband in supporting our family when the need arises, without giving up my other God-given priorities. I find a biblical example of this in Proverbs 31.
I’m not going to turn this into a Bible study, but I do want to point out a few verses that helped me as I wrestled with this subject. I suggest reading the passage in full on your own, since we are only going too look at a few key phrases. In looking at this passage I keep the following questions in mind:
What is my role in our household?
What are my responsibilities as a mother?
The following are words to a king of Israel, spoken to him by his mother. So, we know a woman came up with these characteristics, not a male with an over-eager imagination. 🙂
First, this passage describes an excellent wife. In other translations she is called a “noble woman,” or a “virtuous wife.” She does a lot of things—A LOT. Here are just some of the ways she helps to support her family (keep in mind these were done in ancient Israel).
She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands (v. 13)
She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. (v. 16)
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. (v. 18)
She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. (v. 24)
These, among the ways she provides food and clothing to her whole household make her quite a woman. The passage says she “laughs at the time to come (v. 25).” I assume this is because she is doing everything she can to help her family. Beyond that, she trusts their provision to God.
I’m not here to say moms have to make money. What I’m here to do is talk about how to make money for your family from home if you need to, and if you want to.
I consider the Proverbs 31 woman a Lady of Industry. She is industrious, diligent, and hard working. She evaluates what she has, acquires what she needs, and uses these to turn a profit. Because of this, her family is well fed, well clothed and her husband is respected. I want to be like her!
So, how can you become a Lady of Industry? I’d like to share some tips from my own experience to share simple, affordable and doable ways to use what you have to bless your family financially.
::Use What You Have
I started a business sewing boutique clothing and accessories for children because I love to sew and am obsessed with fabric. I suggest finding something you love and developing it into a profitable skill. Some questions to ask yourself are:
What activities do I love?
Do I have a skill that is out of vogue or unusual these days?
Am I ever asked to teach or share my particular talent?
These could be writing, sewing, cooking, cake decorating, painting, other artistic talents such as graphic design, or even public speaking. Think outside the box. In school, I was trained to write and I often take on freelance writing jobs to help support my family. However, the sewing came to me after I was a wife and mother, and I’m still surprised that it makes us money.
::Keep it Simple and Affordable
The key to a profitable business is keeping it simple and within budget. You can only make money if you sell your item or skill for more than it costs you to provide it. If you’re selling a piece of merchandise, this means you need to make it for cheap. If you’re selling your time, you must charge what you’re worth and what time away from your other priorities is worth to you.
Do as our Proverbs 31 woman did: consider your field before you buy it. Can you turn it around for a profit? Use it to grow something that will continue to provide?
Keeping it simple means establishing do-able goals. You don’t have to take the entire hand-made industry by storm the first year. Start with one or two products and go from there. As you learn and increase your profits, you can expand your inventory. Establish goals such as:
How much you want to make the first year
How much time you can invest
How much money you can invest (go minimal!)
::Some Ideas
If you’re at a total loss and can’t think of a single skill you can use to make money, allow me to suggest some ideas. You can also browse Etsy or attend local craft fairs to see what others are doing. Of course, some of the ideas below aren’t sold at craft fairs…
- Make handmade goods, such as clothing, baby items, accessories, holiday items, cards.
- Sell homemade cakes or pies during the holidays
- Sell Pampered Chef, or other products that give you a commission
- Become a freelance writer or graphic designer
- Display and sell your art
For example, one of my friends used to make really neat accordion cards and sold them at the Swap Meet the month before Christmas. She made $500 in one day and used it to buy Christmas presents that year.
::Guidelines
First, make sure your husband is on board with what you aim to do. More than on board, he should be excited. He should also be made aware of the time you’ll be investing and anything it will require on his part (such as finances, filing taxes, watching the kids, etc).
Don’t over-commit yourself. If you are involved with school, church, or other activities outside the home, take those into account when planning your business venture.
I also suggest giving 10% of your profits to a worthy organization. If you attend a church regularly, you may want to tithe your money to your church. Or, you might consider choosing an organization connected to what you sell or provide. For example, if you sell women’s accessories, you can donate to an organization for battered women. If you decorate cakes, consider giving to an organization that provides food to families in financial difficulty. I give to an organization that helps women and children who have been rescued from sexual trafficking. By giving in this way, I think of them as I sew. “Where your money is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:21)
::Tips
Don’t worry, this post is coming to an end! Before I go, I want to leave you with a few tips.
Finding a marketplace for your goods can seem daunting. To do this you need a little bit of, how should I say it? Gumption. Get-up-and-go. (There are other, less appropriate ways of saying this). 🙂 I highly suggest Etsy as a marketplace for handmade goods. Be sure to read through all the information for sellers before you jump in. Their weekly newsletters are also very helpful.
If you are selling a skill (such as writing or graphic design) it might help to join an online organization for freelancers. The best advice I can give here is to just jump in and go for it. Start with even the smallest job. Everything builds your portfolio.
Stay within the law. If your state requires you to register your business name and apply for a sellers permit, do so. Never neglect to honor God by paying your taxes. Be aware that, depending on your state, taxes may take a large percent of your profits. Plan accordingly.
Keep good financial records. I suggest opening a separate account to use for your business, under your name and your husband’s. Keep the business finances as separate from family finances as possible. Of course, you will want to pay yourself from what you make, but guard against taking money from the family to pay for the business (unless it’s a specific amount you have chosen to invest).
Becoming a Lady of Industry is as simple as being willing to work hard to help your family. From experience I can tell you that my lamp does not go out at night (Prov 31:18) and I sometimes rise while it is yet night (Prov. 31: 15), but it is worth it. I enjoy what I’m doing, reap the benefits of a hobby, and have confidence in helping provide for my family. Heck, it’s fun!
Now, go and be a Lady of Industry!
(I will be sharing more about this topic in the future at www.cailamade.com.)
