Sacred Mundane: The Blog

As much as I love Christmas, I realize each year that New Year’s might actually be my favorite time of year.  You see, I’m a New Beginnings Girl.  I love new beginnings.  When I was little I remember loving the beginning of the school year, with clean sheets of lined paper, limitless potential.  As I grew older I loved getting a new journal–beautiful cover and delicously blank pages brimming full of possibilities.  And now, even though I can’t remember the last time I wrote something on a piece of paper, I still love starting something new, whether a blog post or a house project (better yet, a new house!) or a new semester of school (ok, actually I’m happy to be done with new semesters of school, at least for now).  That’s why New Year’s is my favorite time of year. 

Unfortunately this year a nasty cold has knocked me flat on my back.  A simple cold seems to augment to monstrous proportions when I’m almost 8-months pregnant.  Everything hurts, I can’t sleep, the house is a shambles, and changing Dutch’s diaper exhausts me of every ounce of energy that I have. So, needless to say I don’t have my usual New Beginning burst of energy, which kind of bums me out because I look forward to it each year. But I couldn’t let today pass without at least writing something…

I just finished the last few chapters of Revelation–a  few hours “late” as I read through the Bible each year and this time I had to finish on Jan 1.  But what stood out to me was that the reason we love New Beginnings is that Jesus is the New Beginning.  And He ends His message to us, in His Word, with a New Beginning.  Our hearts are filled with a heavenly vision of eternity, and we yearn for God to take this world and make it new.  Jesus promises, “Behold, I make all things new” (Rev. 21:5), and in this new beginning there will be no more tears, no more death, no more sickness or mourning or crying or pain.  Now that is a new beginning. 

I don’t have my New Year’s Resolutions formed yet; but those will come soon, as soon as this cloud in my head clears.  RIght now I’m content to dwell on the fact that every new year reminds us that Jesus is the new beginning, and that a day will come when all things will be made new. And it will be great indeed.

A few minutes ago I returned home from a memorial service honoring a truly remarkable woman.  Becky, whose life was cut short on Christmas Eve, touched an amazing number of people in her mere 50 years on this earth.  I could share a hundred LiveDifferent Challenges from her life–giving to others, persevering, keeping perspective, serving Christ powerfully in a secular environment.  But you know what stood out to me the most during the service?  Becky’s Smile. 

During the service a continual slideshow of pictures was played, for nearly 2 hours.  Ranging from childhood to wedding pics to her last few months of battling cancer, complete with bald head and hospital beds.  Not all of them were glamour shots, but one thing was present in every single one: Becky’s Smile. 

Becky always smiled. 

Some people hide from cameras.  Because of extra weight, bad hair days, or just other random insecurities, many of us shy away from photos, always try to get in the back of a group picture, and give a reluctant smile that clearly communicates, “I hate that you’re taking my picture because I”m so self-conscious but I’ll grimace so as to not be too rude.”  Becky was no such person.  In every single photo, even the ones that I’m sure most of us would have wanted to burn if they were of us, in every single photo she looked straight into the camera and smiled with every ounce of her being.  Her face said, in every single picture, “Praise God for life.” 

And she didn’t just smile for pictures.  In the 13 years that I knew Becky, she always smiled.  She was no clown, she was a tough, serious-minded woman who knew sorrow, pain, and trial.  But she looked in the face of evil and smiled.  Why? Because she knew whom she had believed.  She knew it’s gonna be worth it. 

I’m challenged by Becky’s life in many ways, and perhaps this small way is not the most significant.  But then again, it is significant.  I’m challenged to never refuse to have my picture taken.  I’m challenged to smile my biggest toothiest grin and squeeze my son tight or lay a big kiss on my husband.  I’m challenged to quit thinking about whether I look fat or my eyes are closed or I’m standing in a way that makes my hips look wide (because they just are–it’s not the way I’m standing!).  I’m challenged to just look into that camera–and into life–and smile a smile that reaches to my toes.  Becky’s smile has touched my life. And I pray mine can touch others as well. 

“Strength and dignity are her clothing,And she smiles at the future.”  Prov. 31:25 

Only confidence in Christ can free us to face the future–and yes, even death–and smile.

In one of Dutch’s books, a little girl shares how sometimes she feels happy, sometimes she feels sad, and often she feels “happy-sad”.  It’s that emotion we all know so well that is mixed–happy over one aspect of life and yet tugging sorrow remains.  Today I’ve felt happy-sad.  I am rejoicing that it is Christmas time!  I am rejoicing that my family is here, that my precious little Heidi is healthy and kicking like crazy, that my little son’s burns are healing amazingly. I’m so excited about CHristmas, sharing the next few days with my favorite people in the world.  And yet, this past week has been one tinged with sorrow.  Two of my friends have each lost a baby in the past week.  They are grieving in ways I cannot even imagine. Then this morning we heard that a dear woman, a family friend, went to be with Jesus … far too early.  It seems odd to think of celebrating, singing Christmas carols and sipping cider, knowing that those close to us are hurting beyond measure.

I put Dutch down for his nap and went to take a nap. My eyes were burning with fatigue and my body ached.  Family will be over any minute but I needed to rest.  And as I lay there, thinking about all this, I kept asking God what the right response is.  How do we embrace this Christmas without forgetting the pain that’s around us, fresh and raw?  I thought of the words of one of my favorite Christmas songs by Mercy Me:  “How could heaven’s heart not break on the day that You came?”  Yes.  Of course. Of course the day Jesus came was one of infinite joy. And yet in the cradle we see the cross.  He came to die.  Tears of joy mingled with tears of sorrow, for He would overcome the world but it would cost Him everything.

And then I thought of 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18:

“But we do not want yout to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.  For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.  For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive shall not precede those who have falen asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a cry of comman, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first.  Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord.  Therefore comfort one another with these words.

And chapter 5:16:

“Rejoice always.” 

Rejoicing may not always look like head-tossed-back laughter. It may take a quieter form.  Today I will rejoice by savoring and cherishing the most precious people in my life–my family.  Today I will listen, love, embrace, hold nothing back.  I will savor every second God gives us together.  And remember that we will be united, forever, and will always be with the Lord, for nothing can separate us from the love of God.  Merry Christmas.

So, because I’ve committed to being real with you, it means I must share the real parts of life, little unimportant details that somehow are hugely important.  Today was an unexpected blessing. On the heels of my little “When Plans Change” lesson to myself, I was determined to just go with whatever happened.  To our amazement (and yes, horror) Jeff’s dad and step-mom and step-grandma decided on a crazy whim this morning to drive home to California in their little 2WD rental car.  How curious it was to see the roles reversed, Jeff on the phone with his dad, trying to convince him to be safe, checking if they had chains, reminding them to charge their cell phone.  It was actually sort of humorous.  Anyway, they are off.  Then we found out that — hooray! — as of right now my brother and family are flying in tonight at 10pm and Jeff’s mom and step-dad will arrive on Saturday. 

So a mixture of ultra-cabin-fever from being in the house for more than a week, and the extra 25 lbs. of pregnancy weight, the inability to buy new clothes, and the fact that I haven’t gotten my hair done in WAY too long gave me the wild idea that since Jeff was staying home today maybe I could find some salon that was open, and by some crazy chance get a hair appointment.  At 10am I called a place in West Linn who said I could come at 10:45.  Jeff, my hero, loaded up the car with Dutch, toys, and snacks, and drove me there, then took Dutch over to his grandma’s house and spent the morning blessing her (she hadn’t been out of the house in WEEKS) by letting Dutch play, then drove her to the grocery store so she coud stock up on food.  Then he drove back and picked me up after my morning of luxurious solitude, and made me feel like a supermodel with my new highlights.  As we bumped home in the snow I just had to thank God for the unexpected blessing–I know it meant the world to his grandma to see Dutch, and it meant the world to me to get some pampering time alone.  I prayed and hoped God would bless him for his selfless love.

…And I think He did. Just now Jeff got a phone call from a friend seeing if he wanted to go to a Blazer game tonight!  He hasn’t been to a Blazer game in more than 10 years!  So yeah…needless to say he was bouncing around like a kid in a candy store.

All that to say that today has been a day of unexpected blessings.  Perhaps not all changes of plans are bad after all… 🙂