4 ways to curb complaining {Simple Homeschool}
I can tell we’ve gotten off course when, as I tell my kids to do something, I am already inwardly preparing for their protest. I so wish it didn’t happen, but I have a hunch we all face this at times, that inner irritation that comes from just a few too many complaints.
It usually starts with a subtle, not-quite-right attitude, a less-than-cheerful obedience, a tone of voice that leaves much to be desired. It’s usually not outright defiance, but we know too well that a little bit of complaining, compounded day after day after day, can wear the best of us down to a weary nub. Or, conversely, rile us up and make us sharp, sarcastic, harsh.
Either way, it can leave us wondering, “What happened to our joy?!”
I’d like to share a few thoughts in this place as a way to simply begin the conversation on this topic. Truthfully, I’m tackling it because I’d love to hear your wisdom on how you maintain a complaint-free home. Let’s begin here:
Return
I’ve been a little gun-shy about writing out here in the wide-open spaces. Even as I typed that sentence I felt the need to clarify that “gun-shy” isn’t referring to the second amendment and the right to bear arms! See, where I live the environment feels hostile right now, and I find myself so afraid I’m going to mis-step, accidentally squish someone’s toes, hurt feelings, unintentionally offend. My heart is not to offend or hurt, my heart is to display the grace and goodness of God, through His Word as it relates to my everyday life.
If there was one thing I could magically give to everyone I know, it would be this: A genuine love and hunger for the Word of God. With everything in me, I believe that so many of the painful situations we are facing politically simply stem from a sharp departure from God’s enduring, life-giving Word.
Every Wednesday night, a group of us women gather to get into God’s Word and let Him guide our lives. We don’t have a workbook or videos (although those are great), we just journey through the New Testament together, book by book. This is our third year doing this, and I’m always floored at how much God allows us to glean collectively, so much more than when I just study alone. We each see things so differently, and yet God’s Word never changes, so while we have differing perspectives and opinions, the Scriptures anchor us to unwavering truth. I wish that every woman had the joy of being part of a group like this. It has been life-changing for me, not because our group or method is special, but the living and active Word of God exposes the thoughts and intentions of the heart, and accomplishes the work of God through its immeasurable power.
The book of Judges describes,
“In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes.”
It seems that more than ever we are living in a day like this, even among Christians. We want to pick and choose which parts of the Scriptures are applicable for us, we are masters at making a god in our own image. I’m just as susceptible as anyone else, which is why I have to read the WHOLE Bible, every single year, just to help guard against my tendency to only turn to the parts I like.
We so desperately want to feel great about the way we’re already living.
And honestly: If it wasn’t for the Bible, I would think I was awesome.
Right?? But every single day, the Bible confronts me. Every day it holds up a terrifyingly magnified mirror that exposes all those things I’d rather hide. Perhaps most importantly, every day is shines a light into my motives, my intentions, the all-important reason why that no one else can see.
As I’m finishing my reading for the year, I’ve been journeying through the minor prophets and Revelation, and here’s just a spattering of what I’ve seen:
“For 3 transgressions of Israel, and for 4, I will not revoke punishment, because they sell the righteous for silver, and the needy for a pair of sandals — those who trample the head of the poor into the dust of the earth and turn aside the way of the afflicted;”
“Render true judgments, show kindness and mercy to one another, do not oppress the widow, the fatherless, the sojourner, or the poor, and let none of your devise evil against another in your heart.”
“And this second thing you do. You cover the LORD’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards your offering, but you say, “Why does he not?” Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. For the man who hates and divorces, says the LORD, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence. So guard yourselves in your sprit, and do not be faithless.”
“Blessed are those who wash their robes, so that they may have the right to the tree of life and that they may enter the city by the gates. Outside are the dogs (cruel devourers of others) and sorcerers and the sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.”
So, we’re all nailed. Right? God is grieved by oppression of the sojourner AND by divorce. By murderers AND sexually immoral. We decry racism but celebrate “sexual freedom” — BOTH grieve the heart of God. We shrug our shoulders over divorce but are up in arms over tax-payer funded abortions. BOTH are never what He intended for His beloved people. Blue and red alike, liberals and conservatives, all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. He loves us so much, He desperately wants our best.
If only we would listen.
So, the solution isn’t to pull our Bibles out like swords and hack each other to pieces. The solution is to RETURN. Return to a humble acknowledgment that God is GOOD. That His Word is good. That I, yes I, have personally fallen short. And as often as He convicts (which is often!), I will repent, which just means to turn around, and I will seek His best, as revealed through His Word.
And, once we have been forgiven, there is no need for shame. The hero of our faith, humanly speaking, was the Apostle Paul who was once a murderer. There is NO SIN that the blood of Jesus cannot cover, completely, forever.
His sacrifice is big enough for us all. It is for all who would receive it.
Let us receive. Let us return to God.
Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which is able to save your souls.
James 1:21
{Seeking to do this, right alongside you. Thanks for reading.}
Take courage. Get back up.
We’ve had the wind knocked out of us a bit, yes? All of us, in different ways. No matter where you stand, we’re feeling the effects of the fight.
Everyone’s been punched.
That’s just my hunch anyway, I can only speak for myself. I feel like a spiritual battle’s been going on that’s beating the tar out of me. Mine mostly took place Friday night, when the enemy took a good but hard thing and exploited it to create the perfect storm of condemnation, hopelessness, fear, anxiety. I don’t remember the last time I cried that hard or felt that utterly hopeless. Of course, I was scheduled to speak the very next morning on the topic of … wait for it … PEACE.
Perfect. Share on peace when I have exactly none of it to share.
Even my sleep was fitful. Sweat, dreams, tossing and turning. Then in the middle of the night, a text woke me up. A friend. Word of truth. Nothing earth-shattering but a voice from outside the storm, calling quietly, “God’s in this.”
Oh yes. That’s right. God is in this.
The next morning my eyes were swollen and misshapen from crying. So I sat & read the Scriptures with icepacks rotating each eye, trying to get the swelling down before I went to speak. I looked like I’d been in a fight. Ha! I had!
We all have in some way or another.
I don’t share this to whine, “Oh poor Kari she got sad.” I share this because we have ALL felt the effects. Not just of an election: Let’s not miss the real enemy here and he’s against US ALL.
Of course, by God’s amazing grace, He brought both the words about PEACE and the actual PEACE to rule my heart and mind. He also brought amazing women, of all different types, to come together and bust our tails (it was a fitness camp) and pursue peace together, to love and cheer each other on. We were all so deeply encouraged.
But the battle isn’t over, right? We are still facing a foe that wants nothing more than to steal, kill, and destroy. Us all. He wants to trick us into thinking we are each other’s enemies. He wants us to turn on each other. He wants to lure us into self-protection and fear. He wants us to sink down into hopelessness and despair.
But we won’t.
I urge you, believer: Take courage. Get back up.
Believer, we need to contend for revival. And I’m not talking tent-meetings or traveling evangelists. The word revival simply describes being revived.
We need this. The church needs to be revived. Individuals need to be revived. Hope and faith need to be revived–not faith in our country per se, but faith in Jesus Christ. The good news is, even though believers may be divided on what the best political course of action may be, the good news is:
It’s driving us all to PRAY. My hope is that the turmoil takes us to our knees like never before. That it leads us to repentance, to self-examination, to return to the Scriptures, to love the lost, to recognize this world is not our home, that our citizenship is in heaven, and our Eternal King has never lost an election and never will.
He is the hope of the world.
Wherever you have been knocked down, however you are hopeless or discouraged … get back up.
You know how we get back up? We get back down on our knees in prayer. We get back in the fight, not against what we can see, but against the invisible forces at work in our world, against despair and fear, against pride and greed, against blame and bitterness.
Not sure what to pray? Jesus suggested something like so:
Our Father, who is in Heaven,
make holy your name above all names,
Let your rule and reign, your plan and purpose, your kingdom be established,
here on earth as perfectly as it is in heaven.
Give us the provision that we need, just as you’ve promised to do,
And forgive us our wrongs,
as we choose to forgive any who have wronged us, in any way,
Please lead us away from all temptation, from any thoughts or actions that would lead us astray,
And deliver us from the Evil One and all his works and schemes.
For Yours, O God, is the Kingdom, and all the power, and all the glory, forever and ever.
Let it be.
Have a blessed week, friends. Thanks for reading.
Will you forgive me?
It’s funny how things happen. What’s been on my mind is the word “forgive.” That is, in order for our nation to move forward, the first step we have to take is to forgive each other. I knew that was where we had to start, but I didn’t think I’d have to go first:
Not in forgiving, but in asking for forgiveness.
I’m asking you to forgive me, because when I shared my story, The Way I See It, I was not sensitive to the way that it could be incredibly hurtful to those who think differently from me. My heart was certainly not to brag, it was to share HOPE, that God was in this and had a plan for us all. My intention was to give hope!
However, I have this amazing brother, who loves Jesus and the world, and who works hard to advocate for the marginalized. He wrote me a letter, and with humility and grace, confronted me on how my public story was hurtful for many who felt they were on the other side.
I’m so grateful for a brother who loves me enough to privately, lovingly, and humbly confront me. There are so many things he did right when he confronted me.
- He encouraged me with genuine affirmation. As I read through the letter I could tell that he genuinely respected me and loved me. I felt loved.
- He didn’t question my motive. That is, he believed the best about me, my motive, my heart. In fact, he affirmed my intentions while addressing the outward situation. I didn’t feel judged.
- He pointed me to Christ. He wasn’t just trying to be right, or trying to get me to think like him, he was trying to help me be like Jesus. I felt helped.
Of course, the letter made me feel sad. It made my heart race and made tears come to my eyes because I felt so sad that I had caused such pain to people who God dearly loves. I still feel sad. But it’s a good sorrow. The Bible says that godly sorrow produces repentance that leads to life. That’s good!
So, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for sharing my story in such a way that people were hurt. That, perhaps, you were hurt. I AM still encouraged because I see evidence of God moving mightily in our midst, but the greatest evidence of the movement of God isn’t in certain events falling into place …
… it’s in forgiveness extended, one to another.
So, I ask you, all of you: Will you forgive me?
And, perhaps, someone comes to mind who maybe you might need to forgive. Or someone you might need to apologize to. Or someone you might need to lovingly and humbly, and privately confront (remember the 3 points above!).
Whatever it takes, whatever side we’re on. Let’s let forgiveness flow. Thanks for extending it to me. I’m so grateful to be surrounded by people of grace and truth. Thanks, Kris, for loving me. And thank you all for reading.