When you’re feeling defensive…
Me? Guilty?
I kept going through my day, but inside I was agitated. We did our normal stuff, but finally Dutch (who never ceases to amaze me at his occasional sensitivity and insight) remarked, “What’s wrong, mommy? You seem concerned.”
Yes, that was it. Concerned. I was concerned because it had so completely caught off guard to have someone accuse me of guilt. Me?! Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m not perfect. Good grief I know I fall short in a million different ways each day. But this was different. This person was implying real genuine GUILT.
Without saying a single word, I found myself crafting clear airtight defenses in my mind. Even though this truly wasn’t a big deal, it caught me off guard how defensive I felt.
Defensive.
That was it. That was the feeling, lingering there, agitating me, distracting me from the day. I felt defensive.
I didn’t like the feeling. I knew it was wrong, but it was the feeling nonetheless.
I opened up my Bible, and by His hand of providence, I happened to be slated to study Romans 3. Y’all know the subject of Romans 3, right?
Guilt.
The whole point of Romans 3 is to make it crystal clear: We are all buried in guilt. Every one of us. Our case is worse than we even realize. It doesn’t matter who you are, all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (3:23)
Oh yeah. That’s right. I’m included in that “all.”
The reason we feel guilty is because we are. Sometimes we’re more keenly aware than others (I don’t care for those times, thank you very much) but the truth is, we’re still buried in guilt even on our best days. This is the bad news.
But this bad news brings the Good News, right? Romans 3:23-24 are all one sentence. Yes,
“all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God AND are justified by His GRACE as a GIFT.”
We aren’t justified because we went to trial and won, proving our innocence.
We aren’t justified because we cleaned up our act and promise we don’t do it again.
We aren’t justified because so-and-so thinks we’re wonderful.
We aren’t justified by anything other than grace.
A gift. Completely undeserved, unmerited, free favor from God.
There is no need for defensiveness. Jesus is our defense.
When I become defensive, it proves that I don’t understand the gospel. Or that I’ve forgotten it. I’ve strayed from finding my identify only and ever in my status as a loved daughter of God, adopted into His family by His free gift of grace.
When I slip into defensiveness, I prove that I’ve forgotten grace and begun to build my own identify on entitlement, achievement, and performance.
How gracious is our God, to gently remind us … run back to the gospel of grace.
God is the just and the justifier, the One who demands perfection and the One who satisfied that demand in His Son Jesus and freely offers acceptance and new life to all who receive this gift of grace.
Best. Deal. Ever.
Yes, we’re guilty. Every day.
But the Judge also happens to be our Dad. And He has declared us FORGIVEN because of His Son Jesus. All pride ends here. All self-justification ends here. All efforts to prove our innocence, end here.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.
My chains are gone, I’ve been set free, my God my Savior has ransomed me.
{May you know this grace today. Thank you for reading.}
RISK
My middle name could be Safe.
I don’t have a thrill-seeking bone in my body. I’m a habit girl. Why try something new when you can do exactly the same thing you’ve always done and it’s worked all this time?
At restaurants, I always order the same thing. Why try something new? What if I don’t like it?
Why risk?
Right? Is there anyone else out there? Actually, no sense in asking you to speak up, you’re playing it safe and staying quiet. *smile*
When I talk to various friends, I love hearing the “words” they’ve chosen (or been given, by God’s Spirit) to be the theme of their year. I’ve heard TRUTH. (Yes! That’s awesome.) I’ve heard FREEDOM. (Woohoo!) I’ve heard LIGHT. (Great!)
My word? The one I keep hearing. The one that won’t go away. The one that echoes in my prayers and pops up everywhere I turn?
RISK.
Say, what?!
That doesn’t seem like a very churchy word at all. There’s no “blessed are the risk-takers” verse.
RISK.
But there it is, and there’s no denying that is my word for the year, no matter how hard I try to make it something else. But here’s what a love about it — you’ve probably figured out, it’s really the same thing as FAITH. Faith is plenty church-sounding. Without faith it’s impossible to please God. Our faith is the most real thing about us, it’s the core of who we are. The essence of growing in our walk with Jesus is growing in faith.
But you know what real faith requires?
RISK!
Scared-out-of-my-pants, God-better-show-up, how’s-this-gonna-work-out faith.
All real faith requires risk. Without risk there’s no faith. Right?!
- What if I pray for the person and she’s not healed?
- What if I give sacrificially and I don’t have enough money for my needs?
- What if I embark on this faith-venture and it flops?
- What if I speak the truth and the person rejects me?
- What if I choose this hard road and I can’t handle it?
- What if I fail?
All steps (or leaps!) of faith require risk.
I’m only a little ways in, but I have a feeling I already know what my favorite book of 2016 is going to be. Do What Jesus Did by Robby Dawkins is BLOWING MY MIND. It’s like I’m reading the answer to my heart’s cry. It’s like someone is sitting down next to me and speaking directly to my heart, fanning flames into a blazing passion, encouraging dreams I’ve always thought were too far-fetched, speaking truth where I’ve become disheartened, pointing to our great God where I’ve gotten my eyes on other things. Yes, Lord! It’s that good.
And over and over and over I see it: RISK.
I’m not talking stupid risk, selfish risk, worldly risk. This isn’t the stuff of casinos and scratch-its. This isn’t living in isolation and refusing the sound wisdom of trusted counselors. That’s foolishness.
This is that risk that resonates with the mission of God. The stuff of Noah (a BOAT?!), of Abraham (Where exactly?), of Moses (Say what to Pharoah?!), the disciples (Feed 5,000 with a boy’s sack lunch?!), of countless others who have gone before us taking risks that we can’t even imagine.
All for the glory of God and furthering of His kingdom.
The Bible is full of risk.
Are our lives?
This year, my aim: RISK for the glory of God.
{Where is God calling you to risk, for His glory? Thank you for reading.}
New dream, new dream-come-true
We’ve all had Joseph’s dream, one way or another.
Right? That dream where all the haters bow?
Sorry for the slang. What I mean is, those other people, the ones who put you down, who didn’t believe you could, or who disliked you in one way or another–haven’t we all daydreamed at one time or another that those naysayers would bow to us in the end?
Maybe it’s only me. Sometimes, even our “godly” dreams are really just a crazy-strong underlying drive for some sort of validation. If xyz happens and our dream comes true, we’ll know deep down that we’re ok. And with pretend humility and secret inner self-satisfaction, we’ll watch those people bow, figuratively, to our success.
See!
I re-read through the story of Joseph (Gen.37) this week and saw Joseph’s dream in a whole new light. Now, before you block this blog and flag it for heresy, hear my out: I do think that Joseph’s dream was from the Lord. The dream does come true, in a strange and completely unexpected sense, but the original dream (which, interestingly, isn’t clearly given by God in the text) is really just, in essence, all the haters bowing.
Right? This is clear, verse 4: “They hated him.”
They hated him, Joseph no doubt knew it, and he conveniently dreams that they all bow down to him someday.
Hm. Suddenly Joseph’s dream doesn’t seem all that supernatural.
Again, hear my heart: I’m not saying Joseph’s dream wasn’t prophetic. It was, in a sense.
But it was also human.
All our dreams are.
All our dreams are a mess of mixed motives. Of God-dreams and self-dreams comingled. This is why, as Joseph learned the hard way, we are wise to keep them to ourselves. *smile*
Six years ago I had a dream. At the time, it seemed like a good and godly one. In some sense it was. And … it came true. But as I walked through the daily of this dream, it proved to be not as I expected.
I’m sure Joseph felt the same. As he walked the road of his dream he found himself sold as a slave, imprisoned, falsely convicted, forgotten.
But somewhere along the line, that incomplete dream gave way to something infinitely greater.
A new dream brought a new dream-come-true.
Four and a half years ago, God shattered that old, incomplete dream, the one I had, like Joseph’s, that was really nothing more than a lot of self-validation and included a few fun details like maybe a few haters bowing down.
Something like that.
He shattered that dream by shattering me. He did that to Joseph too.
And He gave me a new dream.
There’s no chapter and verse for this, but I’d dare to venture that God gave Joseph a new dream too.
No more was Joseph’s dream to simply have the haters bow. No more did he just long for validation and a sort of self-elevation that proved success.
As he suffered, served, grew, his dream shifted from seeing others bow to seeing others live.
He wound up giving his life for saving lives. His genius, his intellect, his energy, all of it became poured out to wisely stewarding Egypt’s resources to save the lives of many (Gen 45:5).
I think this became his new dream and his new dream-come-true.
The new dream that God birthed 4 1/2 years ago … just came true this week. And let me just say: It’s so much better than the first one!
What if, instead of dreaming of gaining we dream of giving?
Instead of seeing others bow, we dream to see others live.
{What are your dreams? Honestly? How are we tempted to “settle” for simple dreams like seeing ourselves validated or seeing the haters bow? How might God want to birth a new dream, and a new dream-come-true? Happy, happy weekend friends. Thank you for reading!}
*This is from almost exactly a year ago, and now it’s so fun to see God birthing new dreams, and new dreams-come-true.
Stuff Jesus Does
I just began reading a book called Do What Jesus Did. I’m not far enough to comment on it yet, but it reminds me of this, wrestlings and thoughts from studying the gospels last year:
When Jesus said in John 14,
“Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it” (v. 13-14)
What exactly did He mean by that? That’s a crazy promise and we’re left scratching our heads, Surely He didn’t MEAN that??
Did He?
Well, the context always helps us. The verse directly preceding says that whoever believes in Jesus will do the works that He does, in fact even greater works. So, those who believe in Jesus (i.e. those who pray to Him) will be carrying out His work. The verse directly following this passage says, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”
So those who believe Jesus will be all about His business, doing His works, and those who love Jesus will be obeying His commandments.
If I’m employed by a powerful official and he sends me on an official errand or trip, I will go bearing his name and do exactly the work he’s directed me to do. If there are expenses, of course he’s the one who’ll pick up the tab. I might even get a per diem or a company credit card.
If I need special access into some building, he’ll make sure I have his pass-card or ID or that I’m granted whatever access I need. If I need a company car, he’ll provide it. Of course since I’m on his errand I won’t be messing around, stopping at Target shopping for a new purse. I’ll stick to task because I’m on official business and my boss has given me everything I need to carry out his work. If he’s a good boss, he’ll make sure I know exactly what that work is, so I can do it successfully.
So as long as I know the stuff my boss wants done, I’m set! Everything I need he will provide for me. Anything I ask for, in carrying out King Jesus’ special mission, will be provided. [bctt tweet=”Anything I ask for, in carrying out King Jesus’ special mission, will be provided.”]
It’s kind of starting to make more sense, isn’t it? So as I’m reading through the gospels right now, I’m taking note of the stuff Jesus does. What exactly are “the works He does”?
Now, of course there is too much to list all here, but it’s helpful to note these glimpses from the book of Matthew, of the stuff Jesus does:
And [Jesus] went throughout all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction among the people.So his fame spread throughout all Syria, and they brought him all the sick, those afflicted with various diseases and pains, those oppressed by demons, epileptics, and paralytics, and he healed them. (Matt. 4:23-24)
When he came down from the mountain, great crowds followed him. And behold, a leper came to him and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, if you will, you can make me clean.” And Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, “I will; be clean.”And immediately his leprosy was cleansed. (Matt. 8:1-3)
“Lord, my servant is lying paralyzed at home, suffering terribly.” And he said to him, “I will come and heal him.” … And to the centurion Jesus said, “Go; let it be done for you as you have believed.” And the servant was healed at that very moment. And when Jesus entered Peter’s house, He saw his mother-in-law lying sick with a fever. He touched her hand, and the fever left her, and she rose and began to serve Him. That evening they brought to Him many who were oppressed by demons, and He cast out the spirits with a word and healed all who were sick. This was to fulfill what was spoken by the prophet Isaiah, “He took our illnesses and bore our diseases.” (Matt. 8:6-7, 13-17.)
And getting into a boat [Jesus] crossed over and came to his own city. And behold, some people brought to him a paralytic, lying on a bed. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Take heart, my son; your sins are forgiven.” And behold, some of the scribes said to themselves, “This man is blaspheming.” But Jesus, knowing their thoughts, said, “Why do you think evil in your hearts? For which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise and walk’? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he then said to the paralytic—“Rise, pick up your bed and go home.” And he rose and went home. When the crowds saw it, they were afraid, and they glorified God, who had given such authority to men. (Matt 9:1-8)
While he was saying these things to them, behold, a ruler came in and knelt before him, saying, “My daughter has just died, but come and lay your hand on her, and she will live.” And Jesus rose and followed him, with his disciples. And behold, a woman who had suffered from a discharge of blood for twelve years came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment, for she said to herself, “If I only touch his garment, I will be made well.” Jesus turned, and seeing her he said, “Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.” And instantly the woman was made well. And when Jesus came to the ruler’s house and saw the flute players and the crowd making a commotion, he said,“Go away, for the girl is not dead but sleeping.” And they laughed at him. But when the crowd had been put outside, he went in and took her by the hand, and the girl arose. (Matt. 9:18-25)
And as Jesus passed on from there, two blind men followed him, crying aloud, “Have mercy on us, Son of David.” When he entered the house, the blind men came to him, and Jesus said to them, “Do you believe that I am able to do this?” They said to him, “Yes, Lord.” Then he touched their eyes, saying, “According to your faith be it done to you.”And their eyes were opened. And Jesus sternly warned them, “See that no one knows about it.” (Matt. 9:27-30)
And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction.(Matt. 9:35)
And he called to him his twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal every disease and every affliction. (Matt. 10:1)
And proclaim as you go, saying, ‘The kingdom of heaven is at hand.’ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out demons. You received without paying; give without pay. (Matt. 10:7-8)
And Jesus answered them, “Go and tell John what you hear and see: the blind receive their sight and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, and the dead are raised up, and the poor have good news preached to them. And blessed is the one who is not offended by me.” (Matt. 11:4-6)
He said to them, “Which one of you who has a sheep, if it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will not take hold of it and lift it out? Of how much more value is a man than a sheep! Soit is lawful to do good on the Sabbath.” Then he said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” And the man stretched it out, and it was restored, healthy like the other. But the Pharisees went out and conspired against him, how to destroy him. Jesus, aware of this, withdrew from there. And many followed him, and he healed them all. (Matt. 12:11-15)
Then a demon-oppressed man who was blind and mute was brought to him, and he healed him, so that the man spoke and saw. (Matt. 12:22)
When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick. (Matt. 14:14)
And when the men of that place recognized him, they sent around to all that region and brought to him all who were sick and implored him that they might only touch the fringe of his garment. And as many as touched it were made well. (Matt. 14:35-36)
Then Jesus answered her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed instantly. (Matt 15:28)
And great crowds came to [Jesus], bringing with them the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute, and many others, and they put them at his feet, and he healed them, 31 so that the crowd wondered, when they saw the mute speaking,the crippled healthy, the lame walking, and the blind seeing. And they glorified the God of Israel. (Matt. 15:30-31)
And when they came to the crowd, a man came up to him and, kneeling before him, said, “Lord, have mercy on my son, for he is an epileptic and he suffers terribly. For often he falls into the fire, and often into the water. And I brought him to your disciples, and they could not heal him.” And Jesus answered, “O faithless and twisted generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him here to me.” And Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of him, and the boy was healed instantly.Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, “Why could we not cast it out?” He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matt. 17:14-20)
And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. (Matt. 19:2)
And behold, there were two blind men sitting by the roadside, and when they heard that Jesus was passing by, they cried out, “Lord, have mercy on us, Son of David!” The crowd rebuked them, telling them to be silent, but they cried out all the more, “Lord, have mercy on us, Son of David!” And stopping, Jesus called them and said, “What do you want me to do for you?” They said to him, “Lord, let our eyes be opened.” And Jesus in pity touched their eyes, and immediately they recovered their sight and followed him. (Matt. 20:30-34)
And the blind and the lame came to him in the temple, and he healed them. (Matt. 21:14)
This is the stuff Jesus does, and more. For today, consider looking straight into the face of our Lord Jesus, through the pages of Scripture, and consider the holy errand He has called you to today. His Word guarantees that whatever we need for that work, He will provide for us. Welcome to prayer! It’s a glorious adventure.
Thanks for reading.