Everything can change in an instant
Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.
(Prov. 13:12)
Everything can change in an instant.
Five minutes before Jesus said, “Come forth!” Lazarus was dead.
Five minutes before Jesus broke the bread, thousands were famished.
Five minutes before Jesus said, “Ephphatha!” the man was completely deaf.
Five minutes before touching His garment, the bleeding woman was 12-years hopeless.
Five minutes before Jesus said, “Talitha cumi,” the little girl lay lifeless.
It’s darkest before the dawn, and it’s bleakest five minutes before the miracle.
Wednesday night, I had shared with our Bible study women about an area of discouragement. A long journey. Years. Some confusion.
Five minutes after I closed my eyes in sleep that night, a message buzzed on my phone.
The answer.
Some parts were different than I had expected, but it was the answer. Literally, it had come to pass, I just didn’t know it. As I listened, and learned, I realized God had done what I’d prayed for, waited for, longed for.
In an instant everything changed.
How easy it was, then, to rejoice in this new perspective on challenges! I was ready to shout to the world, “God does answer prayer, people! Trust Him! It might take time but He is faithful!” In the rearview mirror, that long rugged path of struggle and confusion is just a distant ribbon of road, past and forgotten. I was brim-full, overflowing with hope, ready to encourage any weary travelers along the road of prayerful perseverance. There are 3 things in my life that I resolutely and daily “claim,” 3 things I will fight, in faith, to receive, because I know they are in line with God’s will and He has placed them heavily on my heart.
This was one of those. That desire fulfilled, that prayer answered, it was most certainly a tree of life! LIFE springs up, hope overflows, faith seems to flourish in abundance.
But two days later, the 2nd prayer item plummeted.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick. How quickly my hope wavers, heartsick. Yes, God accomplished one amazing feat, but this one? Maybe this is the one that’s too audacious. I’m so foolish for praying for something so seemingly impossible. Why risk disappointment? Why subject myself to these tears, this heartache?
Why not just “accept” the circumstances and move on?
Because Jesus didn’t tell us to do that.
Because just that morning in my Bible study with the kids our passage was Matthew 7:7-11. Heidi had moved her tiny finger along the lines, slowly reading aloud in her sweet little-girl voice,
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!”
The kids giggled at the thought of me handing them a stone for lunch, or dishing up a bowl with a slithering snake in it. Of course not! They understood this lesson loud and clear.
Jesus knew we’d need encouragement. He knew we’d lose heart and lose hope. He knew we’d be tempted to believe that our Father doesn’t want to give us good gifts. He knew we’d be stray from truth and begin crafting theologies to justify our experience instead of pressing in to see our experience fall in line with God’s Word.
He knew hope deferred would make our hearts sick, but He urges us to keep on asking, keep on seeking, keep on knocking, because that answer is a tree of life. It will buttress our beliefs and give us new strength to fight. There’s nothing like experiencing the power of answered prayer.
No wonder there’s so much opposition, urging us to quit.
But let us remind ourselves: Everything can change in an instant.
{Keep on asking, seeking, knocking. Don’t give up! Happy monday; thank you for reading.}
Low enough to see inside …
I stood tall at the door, arms folded, that familiar wave of overwhelm sweeping my mind into hopeless thoughts. Sure, it was just a bedroom. Kids have messy rooms, I get it. But this. This particular kid’s quirkiness translates into chaos on another level altogether.
The intense emotional attachment to objects translates into keeping everything–wrappers, scraps of paper, tags off clothes. The passion for creating inventions out of boxes translates into cardboard contraptions cluttering every corner, wires attached, duct-tape holding them together. A fascination with science translates to a half-dozen bottles, various experiments, growing salt crystals and green things and jars teetering on the edge of the table. The voracious appetite for reading translates to towers of encyclopedias, right at arm’s reach beside the bed, covers torn with frequent use, dog-eared pages. The love of Legos translates to countless “creations” that cannot be stowed in bins, must be left out on every available surface. The typewriter, his new love where clicks out stories, means strewn papers with half-written plots. The fascination with flags and signs (?!) translates to another dozen or so papers taped to sticks, papers taped on the wall, door, papers taped everywhere.
Every time I address it, I can feel my blood pressure rising, anticipating the battle: he gets defensive, upset, I get harder, firmer, harsher.
Hence, the overwhelm. Maybe, you’d say, it doesn’t matter. Who cares if he has a messy room? But our responsibility as parents is to prepare our children for life. This doesn’t just fix itself. With all my heart I want to give him the tools to thrive, and that includes an orderly space. The ability to tidy. Not perfect. Not spotless. I don’t mind boxes or Legos or weird taped papers on the wall. But this was out of control.
So I stand at the door. Point. Bark. I bend to move a box, but fail to recognize its function, breaking off some antennae-ish thing and bringing him to tears.
*sigh*
Those weird irrational thoughts begin formulating in my mind, those ones we moms have in desperate moments. I could take everything away and make him earn it all back one item at a time. I could make him sleep in the hallway, on the floor. He could lose access to his room. Would that be severe enough?
It’s dinnertime and we all need a break, so we head downstairs. Earlier, he had said this was the best day ever. We’d been outside all day in the cold sunshine, we’d adventured and explored and played baseball with our housemates. It was one of those glorious childhood days.
But now he hung his head, discouraged, eyes red with tears. I picked him up into my arms,
“Ok, babe, we had the best day until 4:30. Then we had a struggle. Let’s return to joy, ok? We’ll figure out your room. Don’t worry. I love you.”
He managed a smile and nestled his face into my neck.
We ate dinner and cleaned up.
“What should we do for family night?” I asked.
Dutch, as if suddenly remembering something, lit up:
“Oh mommy! I haven’t gotten to show you Hobbes’s room! Can you come see?!”
Hobbes (and Max) are his best friends, two well-worn stuffed animals who never leave his side. I can’t turn down that light in his eyes, so I let him take my hand and lead me up the creaky stairs.
We come to his room and before the birds-eye view can overwhelm me, I lower down, with him onto the floor. I look past the scraps of paper, to where he’s curled up next to an upside down detergent box. It’s white with A-L-L spelled out bright, a low, wide opening in the front.
“Oh, neat, hon!” I smile.
“No mommy, look inside.”
I have to lie down all the way to be low enough to see.
But I do.
I peer inside. Oh!
Oh, he’s right! There is unbelievable detail, a place for Hobbes and Max to hang their stockings (!), a large piece of artwork on the wall, (“It’s a real Van Gogh, Mommy!”), a picturesque window, even a cut-out piece of flannel on the floor (“It’s carpet!”). It was a stuffed animals’ dream-home, to be sure.
He had poured his heart, his time, into creating a special room for his favorite friends.
We were both lying there on the ground, his face was right next to mind, peering inside. I turned and kissed his cool cheek, looking into his lit-up eyes.
Of course. Why hadn’t I seen it before?
I have to get low enough to see inside.
From the top, it’s trash. All I can see is cardboard-box chaos. I see garbage, mess.
I look down and see a lack of care.
Could it be that when he looks up at me he sees the same?
Not saying that solves everything, but getting on the floor is empathy-in-action and at least it’s good place to begin.
When we look inside cardboard boxes we see inside hearts.
{Praying we get low enough to see inside. Thank you for reading. }
Hope for those discouraging days…
Some days end with tears. You too, right? I don’t know about you, but sometimes I can feel the pressure mounting. A hard day, some unpleasant conflict, challenges with the kids, sad news, incessant rain, sometimes it can all just mount up, slowly through the day, and the next thing you know you’re reading aloud Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs and the kids are asking, “What’s wrong with your voice?”
Well, kids, it’s cracking because I’m about to cry but now’s not the time, I have fifteen more minutes until you are tucked warmly into bed, and then I can crawl into bed by myself and cry my eyes out and let all those waves of discouragement just crash over me.
Maybe you don’t do that. I don’t very often, but I had one of those days recently, and woke up the next morning and the first words that ran through my mind: I don’t want to do this day.
But that wasn’t really an option, so I pushed off those warm covers and dragged myself into the cold morning. I found coffee waiting for me (that good man!) and this small gesture of love lured me out of my pit, just a tiny bit. I curled up, under layers of quilts, and pulled my Bible onto my lap.
Hot coffee and His Truth. Even the worst funk is no match for that combo.
In the way that only He can, by His Spirit, through His Word, these ancient truths, always fresh, envelope my heart and bring me back to light, back to hope. Two friends, who I texted to ask to pray for me, responded right away with Scripture. (Note: Pick friends who bring you back to the Word when you are down!)
Despondency is no match for Truth. The darkness is no match for Light.
His Word is sharper than any two-edged sword. It discerns our thoughts, motives, intentions. Nothing is more powerful for diagnosing the heart-issue, what’s really going on. All other wisdom falls hopelessly short — only His truth is strong enough to cut through to the core.
And the voice of Jesus, gently, softly, authoritatively, sets aright all that had been off and heals what is broken. He carefully leads us out of lies and self-centeredness, back into truth and joy.
I slowly read and re-read the Beatitudes, Jesus’ precious words for the weary, with promises and perspective to put everything aright in our souls. As I read, wrote it out, prayed, I could clearly see my wrong-thinking. I could see the skewed perspective.
Though I hate crying, the discouragement was so helpful, because it brought to the surface something out of whack.
When we respond to discouragement by masking it, faking it, or covering it up through coping mechanisms — shopping, eating, vegging out, escaping– then the issue isn’t solved, it’s just buried deeper. It’ll surface again, guaranteed.
But when we respond to discouragement by going to the Truth, the Source, the Life, He will speak that word that brings all hidden things to light, that reveals and comforts and changes us from the inside out.
In that way, discouragement actually works to our advantage — it brings that broken place to the Light. Therefore, when we come through it, with renewed hope and faith, we aren’t just at the place we were before …
we’re further ahead.
We’ve seen new truth. In some critical area, we’ve been healed. We aren’t who we were before, we’re better. We’ve proved God’s faithfulness, experienced His love, and come through the fire just a little lower, but better, than before. We’re worshippers in a whole new way.
Friend, if you are tempted to turn away from Him in your time of discouragement, to turn to a “filler” or some sort of escape, can I just plead with you to turn instead to the pages of His truth? His Word never returns void, it always accomplishes His work, it always reveals sin, brings light, brings life. If we turn to him, this discouragement can actually leave us better than before. Such hope!
{Thank you for reading.}
Good Reads: Top 15 from ’15
You are what you eat? I say you are what you read. You are far more influenced by what you feed your mind than by what you feed your body. Both are important, but making a commitment to a healthy diet of soul-food is a powerful way to shape your life this year. Here are my 15 favorite reads from 2015. Most of the books I read are recommendations (or gifts) from others, so please take a moment and share your favs in the comments (or send me a copy!). If you’re in a hurry, you can skip down and see the TOP 5 at the bottom.
*1. A Praying Life by Paul Miller. One of my top 4 favorite books ever on prayer. (Two others are below.) Simple, straightforward, practical. Miller manages to make powerful prayer accessible and gives honest examples from his own life. Worth buying. This is a great book for small group study as well!
2. His Healing Power by Lilian Yeomans. A friend bought this for me, and I’m so grateful! I had only searched the scriptures in my journey of trying to understand God’s will for healing, but it was profoundly encouraging to read someone else (from almost a century ago!) confirm these truths and share many examples from her experience.
3. Good to Grace by Christine Hoover. I love Christine Hoover, and was honored she sent me a copy of her book to review. Christine writes in a straightforward, Christ-exalting way that always draws attention to Him and not her. I love that about her. She shares her journey from pursuing the goodness-gospel to resting in true grace, an adventure through Galatians that I had also experienced while immersed in that book of the Bible. If you find yourself still struggling with perfectionism, this is a great read.
4. Every Bitter Thing is Sweet by Sara Hagerty. A friend bought this for me, and I’ll confess: At first I was suspicious. I wrote at length about it here, but I ended up enjoying this book a lot, and was grateful for Sara’s honest account of wrestling with God during a season of suffering. This is a great book to help someone through a season of confusing, and specifically addressing the issue of infertility.
5. Supernatural Power of a Transformed Mind by Bill Johnson. A friend bought this for me as well and … Wow! I had never read anything by Bill Johnson, and this book was hugely encouraging to me on my journey of understanding healing. I kept saying out loud, “Yes! Finally someone who’s SEEING the things we’re believing God for!” It was so encouraging for my faith. It’s a quick read, and worth it!
6. Complete Guide to Asperger’s by Tony Attwood. Again, a friend bought this for me. Admittedly, this isn’t going to appeal to most of you, 😉 but if you have a child with Asperger’s it most certainly will! For me, this was like reading a textbook about my son. I only skimmed some sections that didn’t apply to him, but it helped me understand why he does what he does, and gave me lots of encouragement and ideas for ways to help him thrive. Not a thrilling read, but so helpful!
*7. The Purple Pig and other miracles by Dick Eastman. Again, a gift from a friend. Actually, she loaned it to me but I loved it so much I refused to give it back! 😉 Wow! This is another of my top 4 favorite books on prayer. Truly AMAZING. Hugely encouraging for my faith. The title’s sort of lame, but if you can get past that, read this! So eye-opening regarding the power we have through prayer and ability to truly shape our world and influence our culture. Worth buying!
*8. The Heavenly Man by Brother Yun. How on earth had I never heard of this book until this year?! MUST READ. Again, a friend loaned it to me, but I had to buy my own copy, it’s that good. Every Christian should read this book. Challenging, inspiring, faith-building. It gives you a heart for God’s world and puts life into perspective in an amazing way. As one reviewer wrote, “You might begin this book sitting down, but you will finish it on your knees.” Read!
*9. The Gospel of Healing by AB Simpson. In my opinion, this is the briefest, clearest, most Scriptural overview of the theology of healing in the Scriptures. No fluff here. Just a clear overview of the Scriptural accounts and commands regarding this topic. You can get the whole text here for free. If you have any interest in learning more about healing, this is a great place to begin!
10. Healing by Father Francis MacNutt. What a surprise this book was! I stumbled upon it tucked away on a shelf at my mother-in-law’s house when I had nothing else to read, and sat down not expecting much … boy was I wrong! This is a powerful, thoughtfully laid out look at how and why we have neglected the biblical practice of pursuing healing. He looks at the progression in church history, drifting from this practice, and gives numerous real-life examples from his own experience. I also appreciated reading something from a catholic, whose experience and wording is often so different from my own. A huge learning experience. Grateful for this book.
11. The Power that Changes the World by Bill Johnson. This was also given to me. It didn’t strike me quite as much as his transformed mind book, but this definitely helped me understand the hope we have in Christ and how we are called to influence culture with that power and hope. For anyone tempted to embrace an escapist mentality, Johnson helps call you back to Christ’s mission of changing the world for God’s glory.
*12. Intercessory Prayer by Dutch Sheets. Another book I stumbled upon, this time at my mom’s house, tucked away on a shelf. The cover didn’t appeal to me, so I sort of dragged my heels on reading it, but oh my! Must read! Some people don’t like his conversational, informal way of writing, but this book inspired me to pray! This is another of my top 4 favorite books on prayer. I bought copies for our elder’s wives; it’s that good! I decided that anyone who regularly prays for me I want to have this book because I want them to pray for me like this! Worth buying.
13. As it Was in the Days of Noah by Jeff Kinley. Again, this was my mom’s book I snagged while at her house. This book gives an overview of the story of God throughout history, culminating in these days and specifically how we are living in the last days that are exactly like the days of Noah. I didn’t necessarily see anything
new presented in these pages, but it’s a a good reminder that we most certainly are in the last days!
14. Habits by Charlotte Mason. I have already raved about this book here. I love it! It influenced our home and homeschool life more than anything else. It’s become a helpful template for plotting our course in life and becoming more purposeful in how we spend our hours and days. I think it’s helpful for anyone, not just parents. We are what we repeatedly do! (kindle version is only 99-cents!)
15. Outdoor Life of Children by Charlotte Mason. Another 99-cent kindle book, this inspired us to begin our daily practice of a nature-walk with the kids. We already spend much time outdoors all day, but this helped me understand why it’s so important, and make it more of a priority in our days.
So, my top-5 recommendations from 2015 are: A Praying Life, The Purple Pig, The Heavenly Man, The Gospel of Healing, and Intercessory Prayer.
{With all the options out there, thank you for reading THIS!}
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Looking ahead, here are a few books I hope to read in 2016. Please leave me your recommendations in the comments!
- The Imitation of Christ by Thomas Aquinas
- Christian Fellowship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
- For the Children’s Sake by Susan Schaeffer McCauley
- The Soul of Discipline by Kim Payne
- The Mother at Home by John Abbott
- Visions of Vocation: Common grace for the common good by Steven Garber
- The Invention of Wings by Susan Monk Kidd
- Called to be Saints: A call to Christian Maturity by Gordon T Smith
- The Measure of Success by Carolyn McCulley
- Wingspread: AB Simpson, study in spiritual altitude by AW Tozer