When life hands you the too-big fork
{It is my joy to revisit these life-giving words from my life-long friend Janae…}
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When I was new to dirty diapers, sleepless nights and wailing cries, the mundane felt lonely & the sacred empty.
The tasks filled my days, but not my heart. The days were slow & lonely.
At the end of those long & exhausting days, I would collapse in bed & stare at my Bible. My big fat, heavy red Bible. The cover was held together with duct tape. The pages were highlighted, underlined, scribbled on.
But as I stared at the words, they felt dull & distant. I was just too tired.
Frustrated, I’d close my Bible, close my eyes & drift into sweet slumber.
Days slipped by, more babies came.
Now, more than 8 years later, as a mommy of 5, my mundane is sacred & my sacred life-giving simply because of God’s grace.
All those times when I felt too tired, God was not tired. Those scriptures that seemed to be slipping through my weary mind, had been penetrating my heart & changing my spirit so slowly I didn’t even realize it. As I have learned to submit to endless & mundane tasks, my heart has transformed; softened–grown in compassion, patience & humility.
He took me by the hand & taught me how to serve with joy. How to pray while sorting laundry or doing the dishes. How to hear his voice in the midst of all the ruckus. How to read His word in small spaces of time & let it sink in deep.
On a daily basis my sacred mundane sometimes looks like a big crazy disaster. There are moments when voices swirl around me. Simple requests to play legos, read a book, wipe a bottom, feed a tummy, pick up toys, tie a shoe, zip a zipper, play a game, build a puzzle fill the air. The voices can seem in opposition to each other & I often feel pulled in too many directions.
That is when I retreat to my closet which is lined with scripture.
Not to hide, but to seek renewing of my mind & strength from our mighty God. You see, my husband coaches HS tennis and a few years ago the end of the season party was hosted by a family whose bathroom had a huge impact on me. Yup, their bathroom. The walls & ceiling were written on with markers of all colors. There wasn’t a blank spot. There was scripture, there were funny & random comments, there were notes of encouragement & thanks. And that bathroom made me feel good. It held their family memories, highlighted their friendships & their gift for hospitality & shone God’s goodness.
Feeling inspired, I asked my husband if I could write on our closet walls. He said I could do whatever I wanted with those walls. So I bought a pack of markers & started writing. I lined the walls with scripture & I covered the ceiling with things I was thankful for. And before I knew it, my closet had become a place to pray, trust, believe, hope, thank & seek.
So when demands swirl around me my closet is there to steady me. I can sneak away to read a quick verse, lift up a prayer & return to my day with a fresh perspective. I read a quick verse, lift up a prayer & return to my day with a fresh perspective.
Growth has come by pausing to say, “This is hard, God. I cannot do this. I need you. Show me how to love…serve…honor…trust…
And it often feels like I need to die to myself to really get anywhere.
It is harder than hard, and there are times I struggle to breathe. Times when I say, “Lord, letting go of what I want really stinks. Help.” And do you know what He often says? “Obey me, trust me, and see what I can do.”
Whenever I need a really good pep-talk, I reach for Jen Hatmaker’s Interrupted. She makes loving, serving & being stretched seem like one big fabulous party. She writes,
“The path of descent becomes our own liberation. We are freed from the exhausting stance of defense. We are no longer compelled to be right & are thus relieved from the burden of maintaining some reputation. We are released from the idols of greed, control & status.”
So basically she is saying is,
“Lighten up, Janae–who cares if your sweats are the only thing that fit or you comb your hair so rarely that you have humongous knots that need cut out? And big deal if your hubby goes grocery shopping & comes home with 50 boxes of nitrate filled sausages because they were $.27 a box. Surrender & live in freedom.”
Recently my daughter set the table for dinner. She put a lot of consideration into arranging the dishes & utensils. When I sat down, I realized she had given me a huge dinner fork. I prefer the little salad forks. The big ones feel clumsy, heavy, awkward in my hand (I guess I am a fork wimp). I could have very easily stood up, taken a few steps & exchanged the big fork for a little one. But instead I chose to honor her, the choices she made & the effort she put forth. I ate my dinner with that big fork. After a little while, I got used to the weight & it no longer felt out of place in my hand.
I had forgotten it wasn’t what I wanted.
So the question has become, What will I do when given a fork I do not want? When it feels too heavy? When the messes are too big or the attitudes aren’t right or he is working late (again) or the house plans aren’t quite what I wanted or the car isn’t what I would like to be driving or the house projects aren’t ever going to get done or that bikini barista coffee shop irritates me or I find somebody digging through our garbage bin–what am I going to do?
Bend low, dig deep, surrender, build legos, sort the laundry, do the dishes, sweep the floors, survive the sleepless nights, read a book, take a deep breath when the toddler empties the fridge (above!), say “okay & thank you” when he calls to say he is working late, take flowers to the bikini barista, feed the person digging through my garbage.
And let it all transform me while living in the joy that comes in serving & knowing Jesus.
“Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again–rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts & minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:4-7
{Thanks for reading.}
4 ways to encourage delight-directed learning
A stack of Sport Fishing from 1992?
When my mother-in-law handed over a pile of 23-year-old fishing magazines, I wasn’t exactly thrilled. We don’t fish. Have no interest in fishing. My house is already cluttered.
Did I mention the magazines were from 1992? Not exactly a cutting-edge homeschool curriculum.
But I’ve come to learn that anything can be the next spark for delight-directed learning, and wouldn’t you know: We now have a roaring fire of passionate learning blazing through our boy. … (Read the rest over at Simple Homeschool. Thanks!}
How to help others hunger…
What are you reading these days? What are you wrestling with? Where are you feeling conviction? How are you killing sin and choosing life? Where are you hopeful? Where are battling hopelessness? How are you specifically learning to love your enemies and neighbors? Where do you see God at work in and around you?
These are the kinds of questions I love to ask, and answer. Last week I was so energized by meeting up with someone who had a really hungry soul. Nothing energizes me like being with someone who’s hungry for more of God. I remember one gal, when she and her husband first came came to our church, she came over to my house and when we sat down she began with, “Ok I’m just going to pretend like we’ve known each other for 10 years and just cut to the chase.” She then began sharing her current journey, where was was struggling and wrestling with God, where she wanted victory, where she felt hopeful, all of it. I loved it!
Her hunger for God increased my own hunger for God.
I recently read The Power that Changes the World, a hope-filled call to bring the power of the gospel to every nook and cranny of our world, to neighbors and nations and businesses and schools and organizations and political systems, through the transforming power of supernatural wisdom. Specifically, I appreciated the author’s attempt to bring together two arms of Christianity that are often estranged from one another:
First, those who live according to biblical wisdom. These guys love the Proverbs, and live according to good, godly ethics, morals, and stewardship. They often live lives of excellence, gain positions of power, and have much opportunity to influence those around them. Great! However, they are often not accepting of the overtly supernatural. That was just for the establishing of the church, now we can do it all through natural means.
Second, we have those who live according to the biblically supernatural. These guys love the gospels and the book of Acts. They may see astounding signs, miracles, and do what seem like crazy things for the kingdom of God, but they often lack tact, follow-through, stability, and credibility because they lack wisdom or integrity in their daily lives. They sometimes neglect the wisdom portions of Scripture in favor of the juicier parts. 😉
Now, of course these are gross generalizations, but I definitely see these two camps alive and not-so-well because we need both!
Jesus’ life weds the two. We, as Christ followers, should be the wisest of the world, should have the most integrity, should be the best equipped to thrive in life, should be leading in creativity and ingenuity, should reflect excellence in our personal lives. AND, we should be empowered with the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit to do what only He can do. To do the works of Jesus and even greater works. We have access to God Himself, the Creator of heaven and earth, our lives should reflect something otherworldly!
We are children of God! We are citizens of heaven walking through this world, we have a Living Hope that is not just “going to heaven when we die” it is the Kingdom of Heaven in us and among us, that we further His kingdom on this earth by living under His good Lordship and providing a good advertisement for the Christian faith (Titus 2:10)!
The message we preach isn’t, “Well, life’s terrible. But here, clutch onto this heaven ticket and someday we’ll fly away to glory.”
Heaven is going to be glorious, but let’s not wait ’til then to taste of it! Let’s bring tiny tastes of heaven here to earth by praying, “Let your kingdom come and your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” Let’s live now with such love, and joy, and compassion, and generosity and supernatural power and wisdom that we give those around us a TASTE of what’s to come!
We’re like waiters, handing out tiny appetizers, whetting people’s appetites for the Wedding Feast. Our lives should help make people hungry for God.
Our hunger for God will increase others’ hunger for God.
I recently heard someone say, of another person,
“I always come away from (time with her) full of the Word and anxious to get on with His work.”
Yes! We want people to leave our presence with 2 things: 1) Full of His Word! His Word is life! It is our daily bread. It is what sustains us and gives us life! and 2) Eager to get on with His work. Yes! That we’d have an increased hunger to be about His business, that of giving those around us a taste of His goodness, power, and glory.
We do this through growing in supernatural wisdom. Let’s ask Him today for increased hunger:
Father, save us from our apathy. Save us from thinking you are a concept to be mastered or a doctrine to perfect. Father, help us hunger and thirst for righteousness. Show us where we’ve strayed, and settled for less than your supernatural wisdom and power in our lives. Help us live in this world in such a way that You are displayed and glorified, and all those around us get a taste of heaven. For Your glory! Amen.
{Happy Monday. Thanks for reading.}
Whatever is the Opposite
I felt that tinge of a sore throat coming on. “Noooooooo!!!”
I prayed and prayed. I completely believe God offers us health. I asked Him to search my heart and show me sin. I repented of things He brought to mind. Jeff laid hands on me and prayed. I attended my monthly accountability group with close girlfriends and they laid hands on me and prayed.
In the morning it was worse.
Shoot! This isn’t supposed to happen!
That morning, I prayed about whether to go to my exercise class or not. Of course I had a perfect excuse to stay home in bed — I felt terrible! But as I asked God for His perspective on this sickness situation, and a Scripture passage clearly came to mind:
When Jesus was tempted in the wilderness, we read of 3 specific spiritual attacks the enemy waged against Him. All three were completely shut down by Jesus, then it says, “Satan left him for a more opportune time.”
Basically, it wasn’t worth the enemy’s time anymore! Satan left because the attack didn’t WORK. Jesus didn’t do whatever it was that Satan wanted Him to do.
Jesus did exactly the opposite. Whatever it was that the enemy wanted, Jesus launched a counterattack of faith, truth, and unwavering trust in His Father.
The sentence rang in my heart: Do whatever is the opposite.
Of course! I had just heard two fascinating stories of faithful believers doing just that. In one story, a godly man who oversees a discipleship rehab facility was buying firewood to heat the building. The guy selling the wood was dishonest, so the godly man was left paying more than agreed, with wood that wasn’t as advertised.
He was mad, but he was also wise.
He knew the real purpose behind this deal was that the enemy would want him to be angry and retaliate, or just sulk, focusing on the “lost” money of the deal.
So he did exactly the opposite. He took the wood and went and freely distributed it to people in even greater need than himself. He took the curse and turned it into blessing. He broke the back of anger with love. He fought evil instead of fighting that man.
Just last week another such story took place. This time we were the blessed recipients. Another church in town is pursuing the purchase of a building, but just when the offer was supposed to close, the seller backed out. The pastor was frustrated and irritated, as they’d worked so hard to raise the money for this purchase.
He was mad, but he was also wise.
He knew the enemy wanted them to get angry, frustrated, and focused on their money, their own purposes, their own plans.
So he did the opposite instead. He prayed and GAVE a generous a portion of the money they’d saved, and away to two other local churches instead and to our family personally. We were the completely undeserving (but super grateful!) recipients, and we were SO inspired by their story!
So when I thought of my situation, battling sickness, the details are different but the principle’s the same. What is the enemy trying to accomplish by getting me down in sickness?
To cancel kingdom-furthering plans and meetings, to keep me from reading the Word, to rob my joy, to make me grumpy and irritable, eat junk food (I always crave sugar when I’m sick), to keep me from doing meaningful work, to get my focus on me me me me me.
So my action plan was clear: Do whatever is the opposite!
I went to Jazz, fighting. Loved my family, fighting. Ate healthy. Snuggled up in bed with my Bible and read and prayed all morning long. Went for a walk in the fresh air to spend time with our housemate and bless my kids. Made the kids their favorite dinner. Read a fabulous faith-building book on God’s transforming power. Prayed for others who are battling sickness. Kept the plan to lead Bible Study that night. Wrote this post (!). And yes, took a nap while the kids played Legos. 🙂
It made me feel so energized, even though my body felt terrible, my spirit felt alive: I had purpose! And to my amazement, the kids were angels. They even did all their schoolwork by themselves! Say what?! I thanked God over and over for His grace on us covering me even through feeling sick, and allowing me to see this super natural battling plan for fighting attack of all kind. In fact, the very next day I had an *opportunity* (smile) to engage in another battle, an emotional and relational one, that was ten times harder than kicking a cold. But whatever the attack may be, here is our counterattack:
Whatever the enemy would want you to do:
Do whatever is the opposite.
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (James 4:7)
{Happy weekend! Thanks for reading.}