Yesterday we talked about the oft-thought (though not oft-spoken) question, “How do you do it all?” We looked at the comparison trap, but also at how helpful it can be to really share the nitty-gritty how-we-git-er-done details of daily life. As promised, my thoughts: First, very simply — call it good, bad, hugely helpful or completely inapplicable, here’s the nitty gritty of what I do:

  • Blogging/Writing/Speaking: I “work” from about 2-4 each day and then sometimes on Fridays. Heidi naps and Dutch has “quiet play time” during this time, so I curl up on the couch and write. It’s not a long enough chunk of time to really work on the book, but I can usually write a post, or at least get caught up on email, plan my study-times, etc.  Jeff is off on Fridays, so I try to work Fridays until 4pm. This gives me a longer stretch of time to study or work on the book. For the past few months, though, these Fridays have been hard to come by. Hence the previously-mentioned tears. 🙂 Come January they’ll be reinstated for good. {Note: This is the same habit I’ve had for 5 years, through seminary, etc. It’s morphed with infant sleeping-schedules but always the general afternoon was mommy/quiet time.}
  • Quiet times: In the mornings I need Jesus! Again, this is harder now that the kids share a room and get up earlier, and since it’s too cold in their rooms for them to play. So we let them sit in front of the fire and read books or play quietly until 8am. From 6-8am is my own time. Bible, prayer, sometimes shower. Yes, sometimes they’re crawling on me, or asking for a snack, but as they become more independent (can get an apple from the fridge, for example) this is getting easier. {Note: No, there’s no rule that quiet time comes in the morning, but I just have to have to set my compass straight on Jesus first thing or the rest day will be off-course!}
  • Reading: Reading is sacred! I save reading for evenings. I try not to blog or write at night since the screen-light isn’t good right before bed (although right now it’s 9pm so go figure), but reading is the perfect wind-down activity. Lately Jeff and I have been reading together at night, even better! {Note: Whether or not you like to read, make time to feed your soul with good input!}
  • Meetings & playdates: I really try not to overdo these. Because I’m an introvert (who loves people!) I have to have plenty of alone/downtime or else I get cranky. 🙂  So I’ll have 1-2 meetings and/or playdates a week. Since my kids are in “church” twice a week and we have two community groups with kids each week, this gives them 5-6 interactions with other children (plenty!) and ensures I don’t lose my mind. If I need to meet in quiet, without kids, I’ll just do it during that 2-4 rest time in my home. My kids also cooperate and behave much better when we have plenty of time just us, at home.
  • Hubby & Kids: Thursday is date-night with my man. We only go out once a month, but since we’re both homebodies we prefer staying in anyway. This is usually popcorn, scrabble, a movie, or a good book together. Usually just time to talk uninterrupted is the best part.  For my kids, because I’m a stickler on my “morning time” and “rest time” space, I really do try to give them my undivided attention the other times of the day. We play, do school, clean together, etc. during the mornings and late afternoons. I don’t check my email or facebook during those other times (unless they’re really engrossed in something or playing together and have forgotten about me. 🙂
  • Housework/Cooking: I list this last because it is last! No, I do housework and cook but not elaborately. I clean a bit each day, mid-morning, and have the kids with me or helping. We do laundry together. We make beds together, straighten up together, clean out the fridge together. Today we sorted all the toys together, giving some away.  I cook 3-4 times a week, between 4-5:30 and then rely on leftovers the other nights. {Note: Perhaps it’s pathetic how simple our meals are but it’s a HUGE time-saver and my hubby & kids are happy so it works. Today I made potato vegetable soup at noon and ate it for lunch and dinner. Pathetic? Maybe. But it was yummy, filled our tummies, and gave me an afternoon free!}
A few last thoughts: (Much gleaned from other moms/friends)
  • Involve the kids! I do almost everything I do with my kids. Sure it takes twice as long, and sometimes I want to tear my hair out, but I really do believe it will pay off in the long run. This year Dutch wrote our Christmas card front, Heidi colored the back, they both helped with stamps. I addressed them while they did that part. We clean up together. Dutch has chores. Even when I “work” I always sit near where Dutch is playing because then he feels like we’re together. Again, it’s not perfect, but I do try whenever possible to involve them in whatever I’m doing.
  • Always have tea in the cupboard and cookies in the freezer. Instant hospitality. 🙂
  • Always go to bed with a clean kitchen. Nothing worse than waking up to dirty dishes soaking in icy cold water. And, it’s SO much easier to keep a house clean than try to overcome a mountainous mess, right? My friend says just always run the dishwasher at night and always unload it first thing the morn. Another said she wipes down the counter and toilet every time she uses the bathroom. Little habits.
  • Establish the five things that fill your cup.
  • Work together. I am so blessed to have friends who help a sister out when she’s in need. Friends who pick up carrots and green beans at Costco and drop them on my front porch, friends who watch my kids for 45 minutes while I’m at a baptism, friends who exchange babysitting for datenights. I receive way more than I give, but I am THANKFUL. Figure out some “live life together” friends and help a sister out!  There’s no reason why we ALL need to go to Costco every week!
  • Ditch the people-pleasing. Certainly not cured of this one, but truly have found that we can get SO much more real stuff accomplished when we quit being paralyzed by trying to impress. My house, kids, and appearance are not perfect. Surprise! 🙂 I can’t tell you how much more productive I am when I remember Who it’s all for.  And you know what God sees when He looks at us?  He sees Jesus.  We are perfect in Christ and being perfected in Christ. As we strive to live lives of wholeness, peace, order, beauty, we do so simply so that we can reflect our glorious God, amen??
And really, perhaps the most important piece is up tomorrow… How do we do it all?
We don’t.
{See you tomorrow! Thanks for reading…}

4 thoughts on “"How do you do it all?" (2)”

  1. Thanks for sharing your nitty gritty’s, Kari!

    I laughed out loud at the comments from yesterday when someone referred to “holding [her] pee” just a little longer. Oh, how I love humble honesty!

    Here’s the poem I referred to yesterday…

    “From an old English parsonage down by the sea
    There came in the twilight a message to me;
    Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,
    Hath, it seems to me, teaching from Heaven.
    And on through the doors the quiet words ring
    Like a low inspiration: “DOE THE NEXTE THYNGE.”

    Many a questioning, many a fear,
    Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.
    Moment by moment, let down from Heaven,
    Time, opportunity, and guidance are given.
    Fear not tomorrows, child of the King,
    Thrust them with Jesus, doe the nexte thynge.

    Do it immediately, do it with prayer;
    Do it reliantly, casting all care;
    Do it with reverence, tracing His hand
    Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
    Stayed on Omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing,
    Leave all results, doe the nexte thynge

    Looking for Jesus, ever serener,
    Working or suffering, be thy demeanor;
    In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
    The light of His countenance be thy psalm,
    Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing.
    Then, as He beckons thee, doe the nexte thynge.

    –Anonymous

  2. Thank you Kari. I like the extra thoughts and ideas that I can incorporate. Sorry Jen that was me holding it a little longer to get more done sometimes:) my honesty can be a little too honest but I’m also learning how many others are thinking it too. Have a blessed rest of your week.

  3. This is very similar to how I run my home! It’s nice to see it black and white; makes me feel more organized.

    I remember growing up, I lived waaaaaaaaaaay out in the country and longed to be “in town” where all my friends were; I was sure they were always together, all day long flitting from one house to the next, having exciting times without me.

    Now I live very much in town and long for my days in the country. Amazing how things change! But I am taking advantage of my “in town”-ness while I can: we live within walking distance of a park, a mall (complete with Target), a grocery store, and a Hobby Lobby. My daughter is only 17-months-old, but we go for a big walk every day (that the weather cooperates) and most of the time end up at one of these places…I revel in the “town”-ness, my daughter soaks up the people and the sights and the new play spaces. It works for this season, and we love it.

  4. Kari,

    I just love you and I love how your blogging is so what I need everyday. I’m just laughing, because today I called to talk with you about this very thing and I hadn’t read your blogs yet. Thank you for the wonderful post, they are a comfort to me and remind me what is really important.

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