2010: How'd We Do?
Today I got a glorious gift from my husband: A day alone. I’m fighting a cold (and losing) and the house is showing tomorrow, and I think he could see in my eyes that I was just about the throw the kids out the window (bless them). I wanted a fresh start and some time to think and really wanted to clean the bathrooms without any little monkeys hanging on my legs. So he took the kids out to my parents’ place for the day and I was left in glorious silence. I scrubbed and scoured, swept and sorted, and spent four hours with my laptop writing and sipping peppermint tea. Now that hasn’t happened since … well, since I had kids.
So I love fresh starts and I’m all geared up to figure out some New Year Resolutions, and even found a great post at Simple Mom for asking questions and helping establish healthy reasonable goals for 2011.
But first I thought we’d better head back to 2010. My goal was a 1950s housewife. Let’s give a quick look and see how we did. If you wrote resolutions, why don’t you go flip through your journal or search for the document or scrounge up the napkin you wrote them on from the bottom of your nightstand drawer. Let’s take a quick look at what worked, what didn’t, and why. Here are mine, with comments:
1. Take kids grocery shopping with me. Yup! I am pleased to say that my kids actually behave in grocery stores now. Hallelujah!
2. Eating dinner together. Mm… sometimes. We’re getting better, but Jeff’s schedule can vary a lot so sometimes this isn’t realistic. We do eat breakfast together, though, every morning and make that our special time to pray together and talk together. I’m feeling like that’s the best option for us right now. As the kids get older I do still want to make dinner together a goal, though.
3. Make the bed. Yes! I do make the bed! Woohoo! I know, that was a pathetic goal but at least it gave me a victory.
4. Have the house straightened up when Jeff gets home. Yes! We have done this too. Not perfectly, but pretty much every day, and we’ve got a routine where the kids clean up from 4:30-5pm, then they get to watch a video from 5-5:30pm so I can make dinner in peace, then the kids and I eat at 5:30. The video is a perfect reward for doing all their cleaning, and Jeff comes home to a clean house, happy wife, and dinner. At least most days… 🙂
5. Praying together every morning. Well… we all four pray (Heidi prays in her heart, silently 😉 together at the table at breakfast, but Jeff and I haven’t been very consistent about praying together as a couple. So, there’s growth and room to grow! I think I’ll put this one again for next year.
6. Have a plan every day. Again, there’s been growth but certainly room to grow. I am definitely seeing our need for a bit more structure and routine. So that’s a main area to focus for 2011. I’m still working on (Re)Learning to be Fun!
I’d love to hear what some of your goals were–either reached or unreached. What worked? What didn’t? What were some of your victories? What did you learn?? I’d love to hear. And happy new year to you.
Reflections from a Wonderful Christmas
Ahh… I just woke up from a nap. Yes. An actual nap. The kind where you sleep. We have had a wonderful whirlwind of activity that past week and a half, and I have thoroughly enjoyed and savored every sweet moment of it. But oh I love that delicious feeling of the first “normal” day after a week or so of excitement. We have partied, celebrated, and feasted. We have traveled, laughed, given and received. I have enjoyed this holiday season more than any other in my life. And today I’m thankful finally for a day to sit back and actually reflect on all we’ve done. I can’t move on to the new year without processing it all. It’s almost as if the enjoyment isn’t complete until you reflect upon it a little. Anyone else like that? So, today as I lounge in my hooded sweatshirt for these last 30 minutes of naptime, here are my reflections from our sweet celebrations.
- Misplaced expectations always lead to disappointment. Though I can’t believe it now, I actually said to Jeff, at about 8:30am on Christmas morning, “I think this might be the worst Christmas.” Isn’t that horrible? I’m ashamed of myself now. You know the problem? I had unfair expectations of my kids. I was so excited with all our fun traditions and ways to spotlight Jesus, but as any of you moms know, nothing ever goes as planned when little ones are in the mix. And, as some of you know, my little Dutcher doesn’t do well with new, unfamiliar, or chaotic circumstances. So when I wanted to do the oh-so-fun morning search to find baby Jesus, he sat on the couch and cried because all he wanted to do was play with the toys he’d gotten for his birthday 3 days before. (It is tricky having bday and Christmas so close. After not opening a single gift all year it’s like gift-gluttany all in one week.) Anyway, we just had a rocky morning and nothing was going “as planned”. Of course all it took was a good reminder to myself of another young mom, who also didn’t have Christmas morning go “as planned.” I can only imagine that Mary felt a tad bit stressed out when her “birthplan” could not be followed, huh ladies? Praise the Lord that she was able to adapt and praise God and despite her circumstances because she was doing divine work… as we all are in some way or other. Lesson for me? Beware of expectations. Our traditions should serve our family for the Lord’s sake, we shouldn’t force our families to serve our traditions. Oh thank You, God for Your grace for us!
- Giving Gets our eyes off ourselves. Ok, I know that Christmas has gotten very commercialized and materialistic, but I still LOVE to give gifts. I love it. We don’t spend much, but I have so much fun giving people things and this year was no exception. I actually think the highlight of my entire holiday was Christmas morning when we visited our Twelve Days of Christmas Family. We had secretly delivered little items on the porch of a family for the 12 days before Christmas, and since I thought they knew who we were we decided to deliver the Christmas morning cinnamon rolls in the daylight and go ahead and say hello and wish them a Merry Christmas. Well when I approached the door they all came running out and “caught” us and it was the most fun, hilarious thing ever. They had put out a special gift for the “Stealthy Christmas Angel Ninja” (their words), and shared how they didn’t know who it was and had been asking around everywhere if anyone knew who the Christmas Ninja was who managed to sneak onto their porch each day. 🙂 (In fact, Jeff overheard someone at church asking someone else, “Are you the Christmas Ninja who’s been visiting the ——‘s house?” Haha!) Anyway, we all laughed so hard recalling our efforts to be sneaky and their efforts to catch us. There was no way I could remain in my ridiculous funk after that encounter. Of course the rest of the gift giving was so fun too. What better way to get our eyes off ourselves than to pray and plan and thoughtfully prepare gifts (or acts of service, etc.) for other people. I love it!
- 40 Years of Marriage Speaks Volumes. So in the midst of Dutch’s birthday and several Christmas celebrations, we also had the joy of celebrating my parents’ 40th wedding anniversary. Wow! Thoughts on this deserve an entire post all their own, so there’s more on that later. But, suffice it to say that my parents’ marriage is the most profound example of God’s plan for marriage that I have ever seen. I can’t even begin to express how thankful I am to have a mom and dad who are committed to Christ and each other. Through thick and thin. And right now, through some very challenging health issues, they are joyful, loving, and the best of friends. Ok, gotta stop there or I will cry and I only have 5 more minutes until naptime is over. Mom and Dad, you are the best. Thank you.
- Celebrations are worth it. All I mean by this is that the past few weeks have been a great reminder to me that celebrations are worth the effort. I used to love throwing parties and going all out and making occasions really special for people. But as the years have gone by (and children have come!), I have definitely made SIMPLE the key goal in all things. And of course I do believe simple is best. I certainly will continue keeping simplicity and frugality as pretty chief goals. But we had the joy of throwing a big Christmas party to host friends of my brother and his wife’s since they live out of state (but used to live here). I never would have done it without my sister-in-law’s nudge or help, but I was so glad we did. Our house was packed, the place was chaos, and the day after it looked like a tornado had hit. But you know what? It was so worth it. Although we’re not very fancy or sophisticated people we went as “all out” as I ever do (which pretty much just means punch bowls and china and lots of food), but it was so wonderful and I’d do it all over again … in a year or so. 🙂 It reminded me that while yes, it is easier to use paper plates–the precious people in my life are worth celebrating, and it was a joy to do it. I’m thankful for the reminder … and for the leftovers. 🙂
So naptime is over, and I think I can now look forward to 2011, having processed our wonderful whirlwind of holiday festivities. Thanks be to God for His inexpressible gift! (2 Cor 9:15) He is so generous, and we are so thankful.
Frugal Friday: Dutch's First Lesson in Finances
At our Christmas Eve service, later tonight, Dutch will have the joy of making his first monetary deposit in God’s Kingdom. Yes, his first tithe! Though we’ve talked about money before, he hadn’t really been ready to grasp the different concepts until now, and for Dutch’s 4th birthday his great-grandma sent him a birthday card with 4 one-dollar bills inside. Perfect! Yesterday at breakfast we laid out the 4 bills in front of him and explained that he had been given the money as a gift. He understands the concept of buying things at the store, etc. so we explained that this money was his and we were going to practice what to do with it (give first, save second, then spend). We laid out the 4 bills. “Now, Dutch which of these would you like to give to God?” He picked one (perfect! We’ve got him tithing 25% right off the bat! Makes it easy to be generous when there’s no denomination smaller than 25% of the total :)). Then we asked which one would he like to save. He picked another. Then we explained that he got to keep the other 2 dollars and that we were going to the store and he could pick anything he wanted (gotta love the Dollar Store!). But, we also pointed out that Sister, his neighbor (who was sitting right next to him), didn’t have any dollars, so perhaps he could choose to use $1 for himself and use the other $1 to share and buy a gift for sister. He thought that sounded good.
That afternoon we made our big trip. Can I just say he was the cutest “big boy” in the whole world, with his $2 tucked into his jeans pocket, marching into the Dollar Tree like someone had handed him the world. After searching for a looong time he settled on a matchbox garbage truck. Then he said he wanted to get something for sister.
“Now what do you think sister would like?” I asked, holding up some playdough and eyeing some little toy dolls.
“She would like this car,” he held up another matchbox car. “She really likes cars.” Hmm… 🙂 Ok, well we will deal with the gift-giving lesson on another day, I’m just excited that he’s willing to share! So we march to the register, and he stands tall and hands the two cars and then hands over his $2 bills to the checker just as confident as can be, and we marched out of that store. He was on cloud nine. We ran to the car and Dutch handed sister her new car (and she actually loved it, so hey, maybe he does know her taste!).
I know this little lesson isn’t unique–probably all you moms out there have had similar precious moments with your youngsters teaching them about money. But I’m just so excited for Dutch to enter the joy of learning to be generous. I have so much to learn and I’m sure he’ll teach me a thing or two. This morning during my quiet time I read 1 Timothy 6:17-19:
“As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy (like matchbox cars!). They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.”
So often I fall into the trap of believing that “that which is truly life” is having the perfect place to live, having just the right clothes or furnishings or even finding the coolest Christmas card or the best gifts to give to others. But once again God reminds us that we take hold of that which is truly life when we let go and simply enjoy all that God has already given us, and when we are generous and ready to share. Tonight and tomorrow we celebrate the most generous act in the history of the world–the giving of One’s own Son. The Ultimate gift. Oh come let us adore Him!
And, whatever is under the tree with your name on it, I pray that you enjoy it with the same delight that Dutch has for his little matchbox garbage truck. Merry Christmas.
—
*Dutch and Heidi putting Dutch’s change (from previous birthdays that we’d kept until now), into his dinosaur bank.
Twinkly Tongues
It’s usually the things we don’t plan that make the most special memories. Or, most often, the mishaps. So what 4-year-old birthday would be complete without a grand finale mommy mishap? This one takes the cake (and renders it inedible).
So I found a recipe for “Dutch Cake”, which I was so excited to make for Dutch’s birthday. I whipped up the recipe only to realize there was no way on earth that kids would actually eat it–it was hard and dry and only sweetened with molasses. I could just see the kids at Dutch’s little “birthday party” (we just had the little boys from our Community Group over) staring down at the hard little rock cupcake and wondering what they’d done wrong to deserve that. No, I would not be the dud mommy, so at the last minute I used the Funfetti cake mix (given to us at church for the intended use of a Jesus Birthday party), forced myself not to think about the hydrogenated soybean oil contained therein, and whipped up a batch of cupcakes and homemade frosting. So far so good. It would be a hit.
But then I thought it’d be fun to make something special for the family party we were having in the evening. I knew Dutch’s little cousins loved Cake Pops, so I found the directions and went for it. Mush cake and frosting, form into balls, easy. But then you’re supposed to dip them in melting chocolate, of which I had none, so I thought it’d be super fun to instead dip them in powdered sugar and serve them as “snowballs”–perfect for a December birthday! Yes, snowballs! Perfect. Now, did I have powdered sugar? Hm…wasn’t sure. I dug around and found a clear winco baggie (I buy everything in bulk), squeezed it with my fingers (it squeaks and has a distinct feel if it is cornstarch), and it didn’t squeak so I knew immediately that it was indeed powdered sugar. I happily powdered up my special snowballs and we were all set.
After dinner the kids gathered around excitedly for their treats. I served the kids then got busy cutting cheesecake for the adults. I overheard my neice exclaim, “This doesn’t taste good!” but was quickly chided by her mom for being rude so she hushed up and picked at the rest of her snowball. I was vaguely aware that the other kids just sort of picked at theirs as well but was busy doing other things. Soon they were off playing again and I thought nothing of it.
Later, doing dishes, apparently my poor sister in law nibbled on one and knew immediately what I had done. My brother came into the dining room, grinning: “So you coat your snowballs in baking soda, huh?” My jaw dropped. Of course!! I had just for the first time bought baking soda at Winco in the bulk section and forgotten about it.
“No wonder,” My mom said laughing, “Dutch kept saying, ‘this snowball makes my tongue all twinkly.'” Yes, twinkly tongues for sure! Poor kids, they were awful and made your mouth fizz something terrible.
So far no reactions, and no fizzy bubbles are coming out their noses, thank goodness. But it makes for a fun memory. And hey, none of the children overdosed on sugar that’s for sure! That’s one way to sour them on sweets…
Overall, what a blessed day. Thank you, God, for marvelous mishaps that sprinkle our days with laughter. And of course, thank you for four-year-old boys and tongues that twinkle.