{On an airplane today … Delighted to share this must-read treasure with you from my fellow writer-mommy and longtime friend, Caila.}
Thank you, Kari, for the chance to be here today! I’m so excited to “meet” all your lovely readers. 🙂
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It was April and I was three months pregnant, staring at a mountain of dishes. My three year old boy was playing in his room, my darling one year old girl at my feet. I think I was even looking out the window at a beautiful, sunny day. Nothing really to complain about. Nothing except the aching sense of despair I felt inside. Despair at the never-ending uselessness of it all.
Does that sound extreme? Am I shocking you with this?
I was a mother of two, then –now three– in love with my husband, in love with my children and outwardly happy. But first trimester hormones were ravaging my emotions and my husband’s second year in Nursing school was not helping things. You know how sometimes the most damaging hardships are the ones that drag on and on and on? Even though you know the end will come you just can’t see it. That was me, last April.
We are coming on a year since I stared at that sink of dirty dishes and said these very words in a silent prayer, “If this is my life for the next 18 years, I simply can’t stand it.”
There. The words were out. “I can’t stand it.”
The crisis of my life, spoken over lunch dishes and soapy water. If I love my children and my husband so much, why am I so miserable, Lord? I know I have NOTHING to complain about.Why do I feel so tired and useless?
The truth, although I was too tangled up at the time to see it, was that I had been believing a lie for a very long time. A subtle lie, an insistent lie. It was this:
My work has very little value. Most of it is boring, mundane. Nobody cares about what I do unless it’s not done.
Do you recognize it? Have you, perhaps, heard it before? Even believed it? If so, you aren’t alone.
It was this nagging sense of failure, uselessness, that put me in front of the dishes, crying out to God for help. I went back to the Bible again, and he began to answer. I prayed. I came back to Kari’s blog where there were words again of encouragement. “If anything matters, everything matters.” “The altar sanctifies the gift.” The sacred in the mundane.
It woke me up.
My mundane tasks can be sacred? Valuable? It can actually mean something to clean a toilet? Put the laundry away? These things can be more than tasks, more than another tick on the never-ending To Do list?
I love my children and I want to teach them, enjoy them, value them. I do not want to be discouraged by the hard work that comes along with caring for their little bodies and souls. I don’t want it to mean nothing. I want it all to mean something. Even the mundane–I want it to matter!
That was the truth. I wanted the mundane to matter! How much of life is playing out in the sandbox, or wiping a tear, compared with the daily tasks of living–cleaning bodies, clothing bodies, feeding bodies, washing up after bodies? If those things don’t matter, then so much of our time is wasted. But if those things do matter…just think of it! Teaching my children while doing the dishes, praying on bended knee while cleaning the toilet. Just enjoying each moment of life. What a miracle that would be!
So I tried it. I cooked, I cleaned, I Googled recipes, I read parenting books. I immersed myself in this life of motherhood. And this is what I’ve learned.
The value of your work is not found in what you earn. It’s in the very act of doing the work. And it seems to me that certain kinds of work are especially valuable when you are doing it, not for yourself, but for someone else.
I can’t tell you how much I’ve changed over the past year. Maybe it’s only on the inside; I couldn’t tell you if others see it on the outside. I know my family is happier. I am so honest-to-goodness content with my life I can’t believe I ever stared at those dishes and said, “I can’t stand it.”
Because I know each moment of these days is precious. I have only one life and 30 years of it are already gone and I will not allow any of it to be without value. My children, oh those beautiful, blue-eyed children, they are worth this. My husband, that good man, he is worth this.
And God, who values the motivation of my heart above the productivity of my hands, he is worth this as well.
Dear sisters, I hope you find value in the work you do today. Remember that even those dreams that seem wasted for Him are never really lost. He uses it all, each little piece.
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Caila Murphy is a mother to three, married to the love of her life, who loves to sew and write. She blends these two passions together at Caila-Made, where she shares tutorials and chronicles the ins and outs of this beautiful, crazy life.
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*Do you have a testimony of how God revealed the sacred in the midst of your mundane? Would you consider sharing it with us? Let me know here…
12 thoughts on “Waking Up To A Sacred Life”
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Caila, learning to find joy in the mundane is my goal! As a single gal in my twenties, I hear this is suppose to be the “best days of my life” (I hate that phrase- leaves little room for enjoying life as a whole), but I’m easily burdened by my own mundane. I want to make a turn toward being content like you did.
I’m learning that every day we are alive is a day, with it’s own ups and downs, that has been ordained by our loving creator. That is plenty of reason to celebrate!
Thanks for sharing! You’ve really challenged me.
Jennifer, what beautiful words! You are right, each day we wake up alive is a gift. We don’t want to waste one day by thinking it’s not good enough. Thanks for sharing where you are at in the mundane struggle! The steps you take now toward contentment will be so helpful later if/when you are caring for a husband and children, let me tell you. 🙂 You sound like you are on exactly the right path! Bless you, sister. –Caila
I absolutely loved and needed this so! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I’ve been struggling with working full time, being full time new mommy and wife and yet worried for the day that will come when I am able to be just mommy and wife full time and the worry that I won’t be financially contributing to the better of my family. So thank you for this it couldn’t have been more perfect timing that my heart needed.
Jennifer I remember those days you are in all too well and those same exact feelings. I remember I kept repeating to myself “I will learn to be content in whatever situation I am in and I will love you passionately Lord even if it’s just me and you til the end of time”. I would love to encourage you that it is just a season of “singleness”. God knows your heart’s desires and He never forgets his girls;) Have a beautiful day everyone and blessings on you all for sharing your hearts~
Sarah, I remember those days well–working out of the home AND being a mommy! And when I left my job, that awful feeling of not supporting my family financially. But the good news is, God has provided SO well for us and has taught me that life is more than money and my children need more than what money can buy. I am so excited for you and the journey you are on! Thank you so much for your comment. Bless you and your little family! –Caila 🙂
This hits pretty close to home, and I really appreciate your honesty, Caila. I still have moments everyday when I’m exasperated at my mundane responsibilities, but then remember that these little bodies and souls that I am nourishing were created in God’s image, and it’s really quite an honor to care for them.
I’m so happy to have found this today. As a mama to four little ones, the endless every day tasks can seem so overwhelming that I often overlook the importance of every minute, every opportunity. Thank you so much for reminding me how very special each moment is.
It’s so wonderful to hear from you, Lacey! Thanks for sharing. And it’s so great to know that none of us are alone; we’re all in this together! Bless you and your sweet little ones. –Caila
By the way, Lacey, I LOVE your photography and your blog. I’ve been reading because of Kari’s links. I wish I lived closer and could have you take pictures of my family! 🙂
Liz, thanks so much for sharing! Wow, four little ones! I bet you could teach all of us something about patience. 🙂 No doubt, many of the things we mothers do each day are mundane and repetitive, but one day we will be sitting in our quiet houses with the children grown and gone. My mom is always reminding me of this! I hope you have a blessed day with those four little lambs. –Caila
Caila, you are so my hero! You minister to my heart over and over. (Can’t wait until we live close again!) God is teaching me this week the big value of the little things. You know, like how important loving people in little ways can make a big difference. He has used your writing to confirm this lesson in my heart today. Love you, dear friend.
Carrie, my sweet friend, it is so wonderful to see your name here! Thanks so much for your comment! And I can’t wait until we live closer together again and can process these mommy moments together in person. Love you! –Caila
Oh, THANK YOU! What a sweet compliment!!