“What on earth do you have to be sad about?”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“What’s your deal?”
Yesterday we looked at disappointments that simply last a long time. Today Hannah will show us another type of difficult disappointment. I hope and pray you’ve never experienced it, but chances are you have.
2. Those that don’t appear to be disappointments, or at least that others do not understand (1 Sam. 1:8).
Check out 1 Samuel 1:8: Interestingly, God used this verse in my life When God Broke My Heart in a completely opposite way than He showed me this time. Isn’t it crazy how that happens? This time I saw Elkanah’s words in a whole new way:
A human way.
Consider what we talked about yesterday, Hannah cannot have children, and has endured years of torment because of Elkanah’s other wife Peninah. She is not just devastated because of being barren but tormented because of this other horrible women who provokes her year after year. Only a woman can understand how horrible this must have been–no one knows how to hurt women like other women, amen? I know when I’m in the midst of disappointment, I turn to my dear husband for comfort and encouragement. So in the midst of Hannah’s disappointment, how does her husband respond?
“And Elkanah, her husband, said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?” (1 Sam. 1:8)
And right now I want to throw my shoe at him.
I have absolutely never seen this verse before in this light and now I want to strangle Elkanah with my shoestring. Am I not more to you than ten sons?? Well, Elkanah, not sure how to put this nicely … NO you’re not. Because in this society bearing children was everything, and bearing sons was everything, and here this polygymous man must have seen the torment that was going on in his home, and yet he doesn’t understand Hannah’s sorrow. He doesn’t get it. Why are you sad?
Translated to our day:
What on earth do you have to be sad about?
What’s wrong with you?
What’s your deal?
How comforting is that? How encouraging? How cherished does that make you feel? Yeah, same here. Not at all.
Sometimes the most difficult disappointments are the ones that others simply do not understand.
This was why my particularly difficult period of disappointment came while we lived with my parents. God was stripping me away of everything–in my heart. I felt like I was dying. But on the outside it didn’t make any sense. Everyone just always thought how lucky we were to have such nice parents that let us live with them (and we DO–I adore them, the whole world knows that). But the disappointment I was feeling was so internal and nobody seemed to understand. Though certainly no one meant to, I felt a constant What’s the big deal?
Have you ever been there? Ever struggled through a disappointment that didn’t translate to those around? Or, sadly, has the one closest to you, perhaps even your spouse, looked at you and said, “Come on! What’s the big deal? What do you have to be sad about?”
Thankfully, I have never, ever, ever, had my husband treat me like that. But sweet friends, I know so many of you have. And I pray that this simple message can help you know–the stuff you feel is hard … it IS hard. Sometimes the greatest gift can simply be another person listening and saying, “Wow. Yeah, that would be hard for me too.”
And the greatest gift is that that other person is Christ Himself:
“This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses…” Heb. 4:15
He understands when no one else does. I pray this translates to your heart today. Thanks for reading.
8 thoughts on “Disappointment: When no one understands”
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Thank you for reaching back & reaching out…for remembering what your own disappointment was like & offering the only ONE hope, Jesus!
Good post. This story about Hannah isn’t very long in the Bible…but there is so much to it. I feel like this is all I have ever known, one day God’s going to turn it into something amazing. 🙂
Bless you, Johannah. I know you have experienced more of this than most… amen to your dear words that God will make something beautiful out of it! He already is–you! Thanks for your words.
Thank you, and you’re welcome. And Kari, keep seeking…cause God is showing you so much…and it is wonderful to see what neat thing He is showing you now. 🙂
So funny, Kari, I have ALWAYS wanted to throw my shoe at Elkanah! I’m interested in what God spoke to you the other time He used this verse in your life? I can’t remember… 🙂
On another note, thanks for this post! This reminds me to be supportive of those I love even when I don’t understand their disappointments. And to reach for Christ when others don’t understand mine. (Which has a lot to do with wanting desperately to live in the state I love the very most… which people from CA don’t usually understand, ha). Love you, love you!
Haha, why didn’t I understand Elkanah’s words until now? Whitney Stearns and I had been convicted by his words back when we were wanting so badly to be engaged: “Am I not more to you than a diamond ring?” Went something like that, but oh yeah, now I can see, really see. 🙂 If you ever need someone to understand your desire to live you-know-where you known who to turn to!!
Thank you Kari for continuing to bring up just the right topics at just the right time! “The stuff you feel is hard…IT IS HARD” is exactly right. We all have relative troubles and sorrows but to each of us those troubles are REAL. I reached out to a friend this week who I had a suspicion was struggling and, yes, she was… with an issue that I can empathize with since it involves small children but my child doesn’t face the same issues. However, just reaching OUT, just saying “It’s OK for it not to be OK” seemed to be a huge help for her. xoxo
You are right, “Sometimes the most difficult disappointments are the ones that others simply do not understand.”! We are left feeling negated, devalued and sometimes maybe even silly for our hurting. Well, that has been my experience. It is so nice to be heard by another, especially a CLOSE other. And our Dear God hears us and inclines His ear.