“Light griefs are loquacious, but the great are dumb.”
-Seneca
Often the hardest thing to say is nothing. Sometimes we are silent because the grief itself is so great. Other times we are silent because we must be, which makes a small grief great.
This week we looked at disappointments that simply last a long time, we looked at disappointments that don’t appear to be disappointments, or at least that others do not understand.
Our third and final difficult disappointment from the life of Hannah would be:
3. Those that we must bear in silence (1 Sam. 1:13).
From our narrative here, we just see this one verse of silence:
“As she continued praying before the LORD, Eli (the priest) observed her mouth. Hannah was speaking in her heart; only her lips moved, and her voice was not heard” 1 Sam. 1:13).
Of course her voice was not heard, because this was a very personal, very private issue. There’s no way she could bear her soul out loud, in front of a male priest, about her reproductive issues and the jealousy issues between her and her husband’s mistress. And, since she shared her husband and her home with another woman, she probably had to keep quiet about it at home too. Consider that they probably all lived together! It’s not like she could confide to Peninah or her husband about the problem–they were the problem.
Some of the hardest disappointments are those which we simply cannot talk about. This can be especially difficult in ministry, or I’m sure for those who with very public vocations. Or even just a particular trial or disappointment which is personal in nature. How many women do I know who have suffered silently through the horrible disappointment of a husband who dabbles in pornography? Yes, they may be able to confide in one person, but for the most part the trial must be borne silently. That is right and appropriate, but nonetheless terribly difficult.
Whenever my kids get scratches and scrapes they immediately come to me. They point out the owie, get the kiss and a band-aid, and are on their way. So often we just wish we could run to someone and show them our owie, get a kiss and a bandaid and we’d be ok, but sometimes our owies must be kept private, and that silent suffering can often be the worst kind.
Thankfully we have a friend who is closer than a brother, amen? Someone to whom we must confide, must pour out our hearts, someone with whom ALL of our secrets are perfectly safe. It is altogether appropriate to blab all your garbage to Him. He can take it. He wants to take it.
“Pour out your heart to him.” Psalm 62:8
If you are in the middle of a disappointment that you must bear in silence, I pray God encourages you with this today. Yes, this is one of the most difficult forms of disappointment–yes. And yes, your dear Father intends for you to pour out all that disappointment at the safety of His feet. All your secrets are safe with Him.
Bless you, bless you, bless you, for reading. I am pleading with God to encourage you today. I love you for reading and seeking Him. Have a beautiful day.
11 thoughts on “Disappointment: When you must be silent”
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Kari,
I stumble upon your blog maybe about 6 months or so ago. As soon as I read it I knew that I had to bookmark it and I am not sorry I did. Every time I read I am encouraged so richly in the Lord, but this time I feel you have reached into the deepest part of my heart with a magnifying glass. Everything you have written here about disappointment is so true and deep and rich and it needs to be spoken. I think there are so many women who go through things that cannot be understood by others or even spoken out loud. Thanks be to a God who stands by us in these darkest of moments and thank you for your blog. I think its so easy for those going through these kinds of disappointments to know that they are not alone and that others have walked this walk with God also.
Oh, eyes overflowing :), just sent you an email… Bless you, sister.
Sorry I meant I think its so easy for those going through these kinds of disappointment to think they are alone but its good to know that they are not. –Needed to clarify from the last comment.
Thankyou
Hannah. What a trooper. I like that. Even in her state of disappointment she talked to the One that would listen. Something I read in a C.J. Mahaney book made me think that after she spoke to our Lord, she talked to herself rather than listening to herself. Does that make sense? When I am in a place of disappointment I can listen to myself and go to an even darker place:( BUT talking to myself repeating what HE has told me changes me. 🙂 Thanks Kari. Love your heart.
Amen, Debra! I need to talk to myself more than listen to myself. That is my word-of-wisdom for the day. Thank you. I’m missing you, girl!
Kari, i don’t know if you have any idea how much these posts are like healing balm. Your tender understanding and incites are rich with encouragement & life…i love you!
Praise Jesus. Praying Jesus provides warm embraces and tender words wherever they are needed… Love you!
Oh Kari. So good and so true. In a season of silent disappointment and suffering yet God is meeting me so much. Comforting my soul and speaking promises to me. I believe there is such beauty found in this kind of intimacy with Him that otherwise would not be produced. I am learning to be grateful for the Holy hush.
Oh yes, Kristen. Well said, Holy hush. I remember from that “others may, you cannot” writing about how God will close our mouths and tie our tongues for His glory. It is SO hard, but you are right, it tethers us closely to Him. Thanks for your words, friend. Love you.