Thanks to Anna for this post today. Perhaps today the simple gift you can give your husband is an honest confession and a humble request for him to pray for you. You might find yourself happier … and he might stand a little taller because you asked for his help.
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It was a busy day and my emotions were charged; the kids were in bed and I was frustrated. Very loudly, I communicated these things to Josh, as he sat quietly and listened. When I was finished, he carefully asked how I had gotten so upset over the situation. Before I could answer, he then asked if I had taken any time to read my Bible.
One of the reasons why I fell in love with my husband was because he is careful with his words. Being a person who is quick to form an opinion and voice it, I admire his wisdom. But, that day, it felt like an offense. Surely he was just not listening. I had every right to be angry! But, he was listening. He heard
much more than I was even able to voice.
I was tarnished. The light of my heart was dull and I was trying to live in my own strength. I was clothing myself in rags and I desperately needed to be bathed. Josh loved me enough to gently encourage me towards truth.
Ephesians 5:25-27, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or anyother blemish, but holy and blameless.”
When I think about love, I don’t often think about being washed. However, real love involves this daily activity stemming from sacrifice. Cleansing through washing. It is not loud or flashy; it does not draw attention to itself. Washing is quiet and faithful. The cleansing that comes is deep and refreshing. It
renews and purifies.
As my husband, Josh is commanded by God to present me just as a radiant church is going to be presented to Christ, holy and blameless. This does not happen through one conversation or timely word. Josh’s words that day would have been painful to me if they had been said in judgment or detached from
his character.
I was able to receive being washed with his words because Josh has been faithfully loving me our whole relationship. It is part of his character because he is pursuing God’s will that together we will be presented to God “holy and blameless.”
That does not mean it was easy.
To be washed by your husband is humbling. It is uncomfortable because just as a wound feels sensitive to warm water, sin exposed by the Word of God feels painful. Washing is supposed to remove the filth. It takes practice. It becomes more natural with practice and it will become more refreshing. You will desire to be cleansed by the Word.
I wanted to hide my sin and repent only in secret.
In marriage, when one partner is tarnished, the other suffers. My dull heart was affecting Josh, grieving his heart. Cleansing his bride with the Word, also cleanses the husband. Presenting a pure and blameless bride is a blessing that comes through sacrificial love.
I have been cleansed. Once I know that I am pure and blameless before my Heavenly Father, I can conduct myself in His radiance. The peace of God draws people in and blesses others. I can portray His warmth with cheerfulness that comes from knowing I’m cleansed and go forth in the security He provides.
Is that something you want sister? To be washed and go forth in security? It is a humbling process, but it will change your relationship with your husband. It will transform your relationship with the Lord. Go and be cleansed in the Word. Go and become radiant.
I love Anna’s heart in this post. Perhaps you might ask your husband to pray for you today. And however he does that — with confidence or riddled with insecurity — receive it with thanks and encourage him in EVERY effort he makes to lead you closer to Christ. Happy Valentine’s Day. Thanks for reading.
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We just had a message on Ephesians 5 at our church on Sunday morning (to wives) and Sunday evening (to husbands). Since then my hubby has been looking for ways to fulfilled this scripture in our relationship. Thank you for the story that is so like my life, and the encouragement to ask for prayer and cleansing. Because early in a relationship husbands may not know what you need, and even later they often don’t want to assume what you changing needs may be!